48 replies to this topic

[Rev. Rob]

Back in the day, I know a lot of us didn't have the luxury of buying a lot of games. Mostly, games would be rented. Without the Internet, it was hard to tell what was good and what was crap. There were magazines, and commercials, and that was it unless you knew someone else with the same game. So, if you rented a crappy game, you were stuck with it for the weekend.

I'll go first:

It's really hard to pick just one, but Bubsy sticks out. This game was massively hyped. I thought the commercials looked killer, and some reviews said to was almost as good a Sonic. When I started it up for the first time I remember seeing that I had nine lives, and how I wouldn't even need that many to finish the game.

But you fall two inches, you die; touch an enemy, you die; go where you're supposed to, you die. Frustrating and crap. I gave the Jaguar version a shot because it's a completely different game, but it too was shit.

Fuck Accolade... a game? What kind of fucking slogan is that?




Buggy ass Bubsy!



Weak...

Edited by Rev. Rob, Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:15 AM.

[Pete5125]

I found and old camcorder home movie the other day and it was our first home movie and in it my sister was playing Bubsy and I remeber me and my brother ragging on her because everytime she would touch something she would die, but I assume since we rented the game for the weekend she just kept playing and dieing, Bubsy was no fun, but he got several sequels and had a saturday morning cartoon, plus all the mags called him the next Sonic, plus the character would talk, memorys...


But honestly Bubsy still doesn't rank as bad as Back to the Future on the NES, I can still remeber the music to this day dudda, dudd, dudd, da, dudda, dudda, dudd, da....over and over in loop as you shoot bowling balls at people(bowling balls I don't remeber a single bowling sceen in the movie)dodging guys moving around glass, hoola hoop girls, bees, oh and sidewalks, if you got through stage 1 then you went to the malt shop and shot rootbeers at random peole, LJN, always picked every movie and TV show I liked and made the worst possible games for the NES, and I was poor so I would always buy their games from the markdown bin at KayBee and try to find a way to enjoy Fester Quest, Mission:Impossible etc

[Arkhan]

Captain Planet on NES.  Talk about retarded.


I liked Bubsy alot growing up.

[Chris Leach]

I would always rent the Legend of the Ghost Lion for Nes..I remeber thinking the chick on the cover was so Hott!  But then the game sucked and as an RPG, was really worthless....I now own it in box with manual, but just to stare at the coverart.....for ol times sake....I was like 6 when the game came out if I recall?

Bubsy always sucked....I remember this one video store had it on the shelf and the side spine didnt show a label printed on the box..everytime I would see that and wonder "Hey whats this title?"  

So I pick it up to look at the front art and of course,,,F'in Bubsy.....ehhhh!

[Rev. Rob]

Here's another:

688 Attack Sub

This was worse than that Abrams tank game for Genesis.



Whole weekend ruined.

I mean, just try enjoying this game as an 11 year old.

Edited by Rev. Rob, Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:43 AM.

[Arkhan]

We had that game when I was like, 3.  It was OK watching my dad play it.   It was no Castle of Illusion though.



Its not a bad game, its just not for kids.

[The_Laird]

I can still remember when I was a kid me and my brother were supposed to be staying with our step uncle and auntie for the weekend and we hardly even knew them but both my parents were away that weekend and they had offered. I clearly remember asking my mum if I could take my Atari with me so I had something to do and she said she would check if that was ok. My mum gets back to me and tell me that its ok I don't need to as they have an Atari with "loads" of games themselves. I then remember being quite excited as I thought I would get to play lots of new 2600 games. When we actually got there they asked if we wanted to go play on it and when we got into their living room it was a crappy old Binatone Pong clone with a rubbish light gun that barely worked. We were stuck with that the whole weekend and I remember telling these people that it was NOT an Atari  

[save2600]

I remember in the early 80's, the next town over had a VHS rental store and a small collection of 2600 games. With my hard earned money, plunked down the $1.50 or so needed to rent a VCS game. Out of the modest selection they had, I picked Amidar and boy was I disappointed. lol

[SlowCoder]

Arkhan, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:25 AM, said:

We had that game when I was like, 3.  It was OK watching my dad play it.   It was no Castle of Illusion though.



Its not a bad game, its just not for kids.

Which game/post are you referring to?

I got 688 Attack Sub for the PC back in late 80's I believe.  Definitely more strategy than action, but once you figured out the motions, it was actually pretty fun.  I recently put it in my "to play" folder on my Genesis EverDrive cart.

[Arkhan]

SlowCoder, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:10 AM, said:

Arkhan, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:25 AM, said:

We had that game when I was like, 3.  It was OK watching my dad play it.   It was no Castle of Illusion though.



Its not a bad game, its just not for kids.

Which game/post are you referring to?

I got 688 Attack Sub for the PC back in late 80's I believe.  Definitely more strategy than action, but once you figured out the motions, it was actually pretty fun.  I recently put it in my "to play" folder on my Genesis EverDrive cart.

Attack Sub.

I dont like the game myself cause that shit bores me to death.

I liked Silent Service on NES for some reason though.

[Hatta]

Weekend?  One Christmas I got Mystery Quest for the NES.  Boy, that was a waste of a vacation.

Also, 688 attack sub is awesome.  It was the first game that I ever played multiplayer.  Hooked 2 PCs together with a null modem.  Sub hunting sub is *intense*.

[tz101]

The_Laird, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:26 AM, said:

I can still remember when I was a kid me and my brother were supposed to be staying with our step uncle and auntie for the weekend and we hardly even knew them but both my parents were away that weekend and they had offered. I clearly remember asking my mum if I could take my Atari with me so I had something to do and she said she would check if that was ok. My mum gets back to me and tell me that its ok I don't need to as they have an Atari with "loads" of games themselves. I then remember being quite excited as I thought I would get to play lots of new 2600 games. When we actually got there they asked if we wanted to go play on it and when we got into their living room it was a crappy old Binatone Pong clone with a rubbish light gun that barely worked. We were stuck with that the whole weekend and I remember telling these people that it was NOT an Atari  

That has got to be one of the funniest stories I have heard in a while. I do not know what a Binatone pong clone is, but your aunt and uncle really did you in on that one.

[Arkhan]

tz101, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:02 PM, said:

The_Laird, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:26 AM, said:

I can still remember when I was a kid me and my brother were supposed to be staying with our step uncle and auntie for the weekend and we hardly even knew them but both my parents were away that weekend and they had offered. I clearly remember asking my mum if I could take my Atari with me so I had something to do and she said she would check if that was ok. My mum gets back to me and tell me that its ok I don't need to as they have an Atari with "loads" of games themselves. I then remember being quite excited as I thought I would get to play lots of new 2600 games. When we actually got there they asked if we wanted to go play on it and when we got into their living room it was a crappy old Binatone Pong clone with a rubbish light gun that barely worked. We were stuck with that the whole weekend and I remember telling these people that it was NOT an Atari  

That has got to be one of the funniest stories I have heard in a while. I do not know what a Binatone pong clone is, but your aunt and uncle really did you in on that one.

My one friend down the street that I no longer talk to (hes kind of a druggie jackass now), when we were like, 5 said I FOUND A NINTENDO IN THE BASEMENT, COME CHECK IT OUT

I showed up with some of my games only to find out it was an Atari 2600 and it didnt even work.

[zombiecraig]

My brother and I were stuck with Terminator 2 for NES.

That game is terrible.

[4Ks]

I got stuck with SNES Populous for two weeks. That game is one of the worst pieces of trash I've ever played.

The story is, I was shopping for SNES games at Slackers, and I didn't have much time to browse. I was being told to hurry up, and I couldn't decide between Chuck Rock and some other game I forgot the name of. However, while I was sweating over the two games, I saw Populous, and remembered my brother telling me how great his PC version was. I though, "Well, it IS Populous, so it must be good". Flawed logic if there ever was any. Needless to say, that game is not in my collection anymore.

[Jibbajaba]

I rented a lot of games when I was a kid (for the NES), but I don't remember much about most of them since it was so long ago.  I do remember renting "A Boy and His Blob" and not liking it.  The premise of that game is really cool, but you have to use trial-and-error to figure out what the different jelly beans do, and that doesn't work very well when you have a finite amount of them.  I used to also rent a lot of racing games that I would quickly get bored of.  Later, when the PSX was the current console, my best friend Fabian and I would go to the local video store every Tuesday, when everything in the store was $1 to rent, and rent a stack of like 20 Playstation games to check out.  We would of course end up with tons of stinkers, but that was OK because it was only a buck.  We were really doing it to see if these was anything worth buying.  I specifically remember Hexen lasting less than 5 minutes in the machine.

If this was a topic about crappy games that I *bought*, or asked for as gifts, then I could really go off on a few.

Chris

[Rev. Rob]

Continuing the fuck Accolade theme...

WarpSpeed

I re-bought this as an adult after reading some idiot's positive review. It's just as bad as I remember as a kid.

You basically fly around shooting in loops and have to pass through multiple worm holes to achieve objectives that are only possible if you nail the timing to a fraction of a second. Maybe if there was more shooting and the shooting wasn't slow as shit, then it would be remotely fun.

Here's a video of the SNES version from a site called TheFailSite which calls it the worst game ever produced. I haven't watched the whole thing, but I am sure I agree with it.

[save2600]

4Ks, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:22 PM, said:

I got stuck with SNES Populous for two weeks. That game is one of the worst pieces of trash I've ever played.

LOL! Thing is, Populous had been out for a while on computer systems... did you not know what the game was all about? You could tell by looking at the back of the box, that it was a sim-type game too. For some reason though, I do remember the SNES version being kinda boring and clunky compared to the Amiga version, of which I had fun playing back in the day. Guess those types of games will never translate well to home consoles.

[4Ks]

save2600, on Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:41 AM, said:

4Ks, on Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:22 PM, said:

I got stuck with SNES Populous for two weeks. That game is one of the worst pieces of trash I've ever played.

LOL! Thing is, Populous had been out for a while on computer systems... did you not know what the game was all about? You could tell by looking at the back of the box, that it was a sim-type game too. For some reason though, I do remember the SNES version being kinda boring and clunky compared to the Amiga version, of which I had fun playing back in the day. Guess those types of games will never translate well to home consoles.

I knew Populous was a sim-type game, and that was why I wanted it. The thing is, the SNES version ruined EVERYTHING. The graphics, sound, and controls were all butchered, and the tutorial didn't even do anything but throw you into a map and expect you to know what to do (which kind of defeats the purpose of a tutorial). The fact that it has a 4.8 (out of 10) average at GameFAQs didn't make me feel like I was missing something, either.

[the.golden.ax]

I'm trying, really I am... but I can't think of, wait, Demons to Diamonds... and that was because, I DIDN'T OWN PADDLES.

AX

[Cebus Capucinis]

I remember that weekend clearly! It was in 1984 -- every weekend my parents and I would go to this amazing mom & pop video rental store downtown. The place was loaded with all sorts of great video games -- VCS, INTV, you name it! For a kid it was heaven. I would spend hours just staring at the boxes, greedily wondering what cart I would play for the weekend. The cool thing about this video store was that it let you rent the entire box -- with manual, cart, insert, everything, you name it! They had these cool plastic box protectors that they put over it, so you got to take everything home with you. Really awesome!

My parents would never let me just pick my own cart willy-nilly. They would always inspect the carts I wanted, making sure they were "age appropriate". Blasting aliens, violently fighting to save the world? Most of the time it was a no-go and I'd end up with something like Crystal Castles for VCS or the like, which in itself wasn't bad but I wanted to shoot stuff! After cajoling, irritating, and generally bothering my parents, a deal was finally struck. If I did a set amount of chores around the house, I could be added to the rental account (with the stipulation that I could only have one title out at a time), and I could pick my OWN games! Oh yes! I frantically vacuumed, dusted, took care of animals, washed dishes, and did whatever my parents told me for two weeks until the day finally came when we went to the video store and I could pick my OWN game.

I rushed into the store and let visions of alien attacks fly through my head. I pondered so many choices, but ultimately, for some reason, a certain box stuck in my head -- a white box with an ugly rainbow over the top of it. The picture on the front was nothing spectacular, but for some reason, I had to play it. I grabbed it and ran to the counter, signing the rental agreement and paying the $5.00 my parents had given me to rent my own game. I filled out my name, address, everything they needed and watched as the precious cargo was cleared through video customs so I could take it home.

The game lasted around 10 minutes. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Absolutely horrible. This wasn't a game, it was some sort of graphics mess on screen that you could hardly control! I was frustrated and unhappy. On the verge of tears, I realized that I had wasted two whole weeks of my youth to play this awful, terrible, no good video game! AIR RAID? More like Borefest! I angrily stuffed the cartridge back in the box, stuffed the box back into the protector, and pushed it under the bed. I wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with that cart ever again, I was sure of it!

Fast forward to about a month ago. My parents saw the CIB Air Raid on the news, and noticing the high price, started digging through the boxes of old stuff as they vaguely remembered something about it. They call me -- PAYDIRT! They have found a boxed Air Raid in a Rubbermaid container in the basement along with some other items from my childhood. They want to send it to me to sell! My jaw dropped to the floor when I was told, visions once again dancing in my eyes. Student loans? Bah, who needs 'em? A new car? Sure! Rubbing my hands together with glee, I tell them to Priority the box along.

I get it and the memory of that horrible weekend rushes through my mind. This will more than make up for it! I get out the camera and take some high quality pics of the box, inserts, and cart, everything. I send the cart along to a respected long-term AA member to verify its authenticity. I put out some feelers on AA, sending PMs to big name collectors seeing if they want it. I PM anyone who asks my real name, address, everything to ensure it is above the board and legit. The first thing most members ask is verification and proof, understandably.

The offers start coming in. $12,000. $15,000. $17,000! I am turning green with greed, waiting for those big bucks to start flowing in. What a collection this will buy! So many other carts! The highest offer of all surpasses the eBay auction earlier. $47,450 ! My student loans are gone, plus extra for collecting! OH MY GOD! The bidder is a new member, so I am understandably concerned about a rip-off, so I start communicating with them. Who are they? Where are they from? What are they doing?

I get a response to my questions:

"Well, you see, I own <VIDEO STORE NAME> in <HOMETOWN NAME>. I heard from a mutual friend that you had AIR RAID for sale, and I was interested in it. I'm even more interested now that I know who you are -- I looked back in my old records and found that rental agreement from 1984. Of particular note is the part that says failure to return a game on time will result in late fees of $5 a day being assessed to your account. $5 a day for 26 years....that's $47,450, which is what I am offering. Surely you wouldn't want the courts to get involved....."

What was I supposed to do? They had me over a barrel. My little kid signature was right there. Gone were the dreams of being debt-free. Gone the car, gone the additions to the collection, everything! I shipped the game back ASAP and that's the last I'll ever hear of that horrible, horrible game that not only ruined a rental weekend, but ruined the past 26 years in one fell swoop.

(Note: Some or all of this story may be completely fabricated)

[SlowCoder]

Cebus Capucinis, on Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:59 AM, said:

(Note: Some or all of this story may be completely fabricated)

Haha!  I'm sure.   But it was kind of an exciting read.

[the.golden.ax]

Cebus, how old were you in 1984?





A.
Twinkle in your Daddy's eye?





B.
Got Sperm?





C.
Beany Baby?





AX

[jamesk]

I loved the TMNT arcade game as a kid. So I rented TMNT for Nintendo figuring it would be the same as the arcade version. Since I lived in a rural area so there wasn't much to do and I was stuck with the game for the weekend. I ended up beating that horrible horrible game.

[Cebus Capucinis]

I love that Beany Baby picture, makes me LOL every time I see it! Maybe I should become the official AtariAge Tall Tale-smith?