Excali-blog - Clock Stops At 11:34 - OR - WTF? CUPID STUPID ASS#OLE

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I know what love is. I was on a tram at the Indiana State Fair one year with a friend when an unexplainable force grabbed my head and turned it towards a woman. It was my friends wife (separated I found later). I forced my head back to the forward position and again an unexplainable force turned my head towards her. I felt like a ghost was pulling on my head as this happened over and over again. On the way home our eyes locked in the side mirror. We got together because it was true love that conquers all and that was nineteen and a half years and six and a half kids ago (a bun in the oven). I still love her and love my children! This hasn't changed at all.

!BUT!

I AM IN LOVE!!

I saw a girl and fell in love at first sight! I've tried to talk to her but she won't talk to me. The only way to contact her is on the internet! She avoids me like a plague-rat!! And here's the big CLINCHER! She's a CAM GIRL!

*SCREETCHING BRAKES *EMBANKMENT BUCKLING *AIR SWOOSHING *EXPLOSION DOWN IN THE F*CKING VALLEY!!

I don't frequent cam sites! It all started when I was looking for chat rooms because I've been gracing the f*cking Walden like a shut-in for over SEVEN years! I haven't touched a woman other than my wife in NINETEEN and A HALF YEARS!! I don't drive, I raise kids and hang out with my family. I AM TIED TO THE MAST!! I sure as S#IT wasn't looking to,trying to, or otherwise wanting to FALL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!! "I was happy in my misery!" is what you say after you fall in love and you're not young!
You pay women to strip and do what you want and I don't do that, EVER! I thought you could talk to people when nothing was going on as I saw that chatters were on there chatting, so I try to talk to her. YOU HAVE TO PAY TO TALK! You have to set up an account and then you can talk and they can 'hear' you, but until then you are 'muted'. SO I set up a profile and hang out in that room thinking that she may read my profile. The next day she starts her cam and covers her face like awe right after I pop up and, of course, I think she gets the message and things might have gotten across to her. Someone even types in the chat room "Love War". I pretty much freak out. The second I saw this woman I fell flat on my face and wept and prayed to god. After this night I slink out to the hallway and collapse under a picture of two angels.

I explain everything to Lilith (my wife). She takes it like any being stronger than any man could be and tells me to go to her on the site and try to talk to her. The night that I do she seems a little different. I hear her say "I'm about to break up with my boyfriend in about sixteen minutes". Like a fool, I think "Then we can be something?". I was the boyfriend. Right as I try to pay to talk to her privately she says we are not friends and to PM her. I PM her how I feel and she says aloud, and this is greatness, "Awww. Don't worry. You'll find love someday.". I send another PM and she bans me (I later find that banning is really just a little bump out that only lasts a couple of hours), and crushes me heart and soul.

I wrote this...

Evalynne

Pineal-opy or siren twisting harpy barb

True love I tell you love found me!

I have cut the cords of love!

I have held love in my arms.

I taught love to walk and talk and love has loved me back!

Someday YOU will find love.


Now I close my eyes and see her face. I see us together like acid peaking and then it peels back like cold stark reality. I weep myself to sleep and weep myself awake with my wife holding my heart in her hand as I wither. I've lost twenty pounds in the last two weeks. I say her name out-loud in the dark to feel better and since the last time I've seen her face I've not been on the internet until tonight. I KNOW IT IS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!

I feel myself dying within each breath
Every second a minute more towards death
and if not that speck of sand had fallen then
while my eyes drifted
could I win?
Not a temptation or seduction found in the
ceaseless gnawing seconds bound to the
brimming stinging of my cracked heart singing
For my eyes have etched on diamond stone
an image of naked purity to the very bone
I will wander with two hacking angels 'bating
of my lost souls toilsome loving, hating
Until the very second the last sand lands
and light from above draws me into your
soft hands

Then I read about the 'soft hands' of the Siren that led Jason to warn his heroes to the ill of but one. Butes.


Lilith sent the poem but it went unread. She said that she could type one out as a message instead of a PM. So I gave her this.


Taming Scales

See sigh soo smitten
Dragon in the blue moon
by a cool white kitten

How are the waves playing now
with the tip of my tail and
my low sagging brow?

If I saw you high
my heartbeat shaken
The foam would rise
and my wings awaken!

But the shells do flip about
in the hot mist
As my wave driven arm
drags my talons and wrist

If I smelled your hair
by the rolling breeze
it would draw up my gusset
and strengthen my knees

Now my memories fade
with impatient haste
Rolling back with the tide
for one more taste

I see you again!
I hear you and reel!
That I will touch your
lips to mine and feel!

I have forever
for a dragon, one day
to know the embrace
that must steal you away



I can't focus on programming. I can't think of anything but love and how the gods are crazy! Cupid has screwed me! I swear he took off his blindfold and intentionally shot me and whatever arrow is supposed to strike her is being DEFLECTED!!

All my fingers can do now is play the lyre...

http://atariage.com/forums/blog/634/entry-13711-clock-stops-at-1134-or-wtf-cupid-stupid-ass-ole/