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If Your OS Was A Car...

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#1 pacman000 OFFLINE  



  • 607 posts

Posted Thu Jan 25, 2018 3:15 PM

The "Shoot Yourself in the Foot With Programming Languages" thread reminded me of this:



MS-DOS You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys.
Windows You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is a freight train.
Macintosh System 7 You get in the car to go to the store. The car drives you to church instead, because the store has mysteriously exploded.
UNIX You get in the car and type GREP STORE. You screech off at 200 miles per hour and arrive at the barber shop.
Windows NT You get in the car and write a letter that says "go to the store." Then you get out of the car and mail the letter to your dashboard.
Taligent/Pink You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in his Learjet.
Amiga You get in the car and tell it to go to the store. It takes you to a shopping mall on the Moon.
Apple As you set out for the store, a hurricane comes up. The streets flood and the windshield wipers quit. You wash up in front of a store on a desert island in the South Pacific.
VAX You get in the car and find that the controls are all labeled in Egyptian hieroglyphics. You press several buttons at random and suddenly find yourself parked in front of a store, next to an Apple.
OS/2 After fueling up with 6,000 gallons of gas, you get in the car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up, killing you and half the town.
S/36 SSP [mainframe, obviously] You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there you run out of gas. While walking the rest of the way, you are run over by kids on mopeds.
AS/400 An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you to the store, where you get to watch everybody else buy filet mignons.




There are a few versions of this list, I've linked to some variants. The two have Atari computers listed.





Atari ST You get in your car, but people dont recognize it as a car, as they all thought that the maker only made go-carts, and everyone thought they went out of business years ago. The new model of your car will be out Very Soon Now ™ but you won't be able to buy it.

http://www.faculty.j...okes/caros.htmlCONTAINS ATARI



You could actually drive to the store if only the darned manufacturer would fess
up and tell you how.

http://wweb.uta.edu/...r/DrivingOS.PDFCONTAINS ATARI

Edited by pacman000, Thu Jan 25, 2018 3:17 PM.

#2 zzip OFFLINE  


    River Patroller

  • 2,082 posts

Posted Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:09 AM

I would change the unix one to be "get in your car and type the store command, which is helpfully abbreviated to "st" you travel at 200 miles/hour, but have to check the log to see if you ever actually ever arrived at the store"

#3 MrMaddog OFFLINE  



  • 627 posts
  • Still Atarian
  • Location:Parts Unknown

Posted Fri Jan 26, 2018 11:16 AM

Man, I used to collect OS jokes off BBS's & newsgroups mainly to make fun of M$ Windoze...which is what I ended up using for the last 20 years. :_(

#4 Keatah ONLINE  


    Missile Commander

  • 19,802 posts

Posted Sat Jan 27, 2018 1:54 PM

I'd ride a bike.

#5 phoenixdownita OFFLINE  


    River Patroller

  • 2,904 posts

Posted Tue Jan 30, 2018 2:21 AM

If my OS was a car it would have just support for around 4 levers, one steering wheel and maybe 10 buttons ... not that you can't do much with it but it would be in the ballpark of handling this:


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