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I Made an Atari 2600 Game
Buy Seaweed Assault (Atari 2600 homebrew) from the AtariAge store
Here are a few reviews:
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Obvious jokes are the funniest because they're so unfunny that they make people snort a special kind of snort that causes nosebleeds and throat lesions.
Thoughts on Game Design
I love randomness, replayability, and freedom. I don't like it when games have everything in the same place. I want a fresh experience each time I restart the game. Most video games aren't games, they're static action puzzles. Everything is always in the same place and you must learn a sequence of predetermined 'dance steps' to win the game and you often have to die repeatedly to learn the sequence. That's not playing, that's tediously memorizing choreography. Many classic board games are perfect examples of what a good game should be. Video games should be able to surpass the randomness and replayability of board games, but they usually pale in comparison. It's sad. What a waste.
Need a Better Console
I won't be satisfied until I can buy a Grand Theft Auto style game where the buildings and other things are destructible (similar to Red Faction: Guerrilla), the trees can be climbed/chopped down/burned/shot up/blown up, the ground can be affected through digging/explosions/aircraft crashes/backhoe-like machines, the draw distance is realistic and nothing just pops up or spawns in front of you, and the people walking around are more intelligent and act more like real people in various situations (they wouldn't casually stroll through fire or do other things that make no sense). Let me drive, fly airplanes and helicopters, and use a GTA: SA style jetpack again. Just give me more stuff to do in a more realistic world, without actual real-world hassles that would ruin a game.
Most buildings in these games look like they are made out of cardboard with details painted on them. When I walk up to a building, I want to look inside of the windows and see depth, not a flat representation of the inside painted on the "windows." I want to be able to blow a hole in the wall or smash a window and go in. If I ram a car into the wall, I want the bricks to crumble as realistically as possible. The whole house should not fall down unless enough damage was done to other walls. In other words, if I smash into a house with a car or a hit a wall with a sledgehammer, I don't want some canned reaction; I want it to react in the way a real building or wall would.
Speaking of buildings, If I'm standing on top of a tall building, I should see very tiny people and traffic, not abandoned streets. I want to walk up to a wall and have the detail become clearer, not fuzzier.
For games like these that are supposed to have a realistic look, everything should look like they pointed a video camera at the real world instead of the fake-looking "photo-realistic" crap that we keep getting. I require a huge jump in graphics. I'd like my jaw to drop to the floor from awe overload. I want to say "I can't tell the difference between real video footage and what I'm seeing in this game. Everything looks real: grass, trees, buildings, people . . . everything! And the NPCs are acting and reacting like real people with individual personalities and voices."
I don't drink alcohol. I don't take illegal drugs. I don't abuse legal drugs. I don't smoke anything. I like to have a clear mind at all times. If plans change or there is an emergency, I'm always ready to leap up and go.
A lot of people have an 'I'll try anything once' mentality and that's how they build a rat's nest of complicated 'needs.' If you don't try it, you can't get hooked on it and think you need it. My needs are fairly simple and I plan to keep it that way. I have no interest in doing things like dancing, going to bars/nightclubs/strip clubs, gambling, or eating at fancy restaurants.
I'll never understand people who want to get tattoos or piercings or make their hair some goofy color or cut it into some weird shape. It doesn't mean you're a unique nonconformist rebel, it just means you're a pathetic follower who wants to be accepted by a certain group. If you want to be a real unique nonconformist rebel, you shouldn't fit in anywhere. There should be no little freaky group you're trying to impress. They can all eat sh*t and die. You'll refuse to wear anything special. You'll refuse to get tattoos or piercings and you won't color your hair or make some weird shape out of it. You'll just look the way the gods made you and you'll wear whatever is comfortable and doesn't itch. Screw the mainstream. Screw pathetic little freaky groups. Screw religions, cults, atheism, and closed-minded scientism. Screw the rich. Screw the poor. They can all lick your unwashed taint.