Figured it out...
basically the problem is the firmware and the default settings in the bluetooth config. The new NES 30 Pro's are shipping with the latest firmware now (1.71) and the config in RetroPie has a default setting for a hack that works with the older firmware version, it just says "older" not exactly what version...but 1.71 is new (for now) and if you attach and then configure the controller, it makes a config file during the set up...and it doesn't jive with the new version at all, i assume the firmware fixed the mapping issues so its got a conflict if you leave the hack on.
I just wiped my card and started over...turned the hack off before i connected and configured the NES 30 Pro...that fixed the issue.
So if anyone has this problem and finds this thread in a search...turn the hack off before you configure the controller if you have 1.71 firmware lol.
Seems to be working now...i've updated everything to the latest versions..Only issue i've found so far in MAME is Indian Jones Temple of Doom wont let me add a quarter to start the game...other MAME stuff all seems to be working.
I've seen a lot of people trying to configure the aspect ratio in MAME, for me its easier to just adjust it on my TV itself...so I've been doing that instead of trying to fool with each individual game.
Another thing I've got going on, the TAB key doesn't work like it should in game...doesn't bring up the config options in MAME.