Competition games are just the worst, because you know there were so many disappointed kids out there who wasted their money on the game hoping to win the grand prize and only getting a mediocre game instead. Name This Game is one of those disappointing competition games, and like many competition games before it the competition was never completed since the company folded before it could be finished. We’re now left with a nameless game, even though it has had multiple over the years when it was originally developed it was called Treasures of the Deep and when U.S. Games picked it up it was called Guardians of Treasure , It was sold in Europe as Octopus. The best, and final, name it was given in what I think was a little jab at the company was Goin’ Under a not so subtle jab at U.S. Games eventual fate. You can call the game whatever you want though, there’s nothing stopping you from calling it something like… uh… ‘Sharkman and Squidboy Slay Scuba Sam’ no, that was awful, alliteration is so last century. Whatever, I’m not good at thinking up titles for things on the fly.

This is a rather pretty game, I know that might be rather odd to hear but this game really is quite good looking. Almost all of the sprites are large and distinguishable, and have little details that would normally be forgotten in other games, for example, the scuba dude has goggles on, little bubble coming from his tank, and his harpoon gun has a barb on the end, he could have simple been something along the lines of what you’re given in Shark Attack/Lochjaw but the programmers went a little step further. The boat changes color beneath the water changing from a burgundy to a light purple, and the dude driving the boat is clearly having the time of their life what with their hair blowing majestically through the wind. The only thing that I think could have been improved upon is the treasure sprite, it looks like a big piece of poo, it’s even the right color. The octopus/squid is blocky yes, but it’s huge, and seeing all of those little tentacle squares wave around the screen without any flicker is quite incredible, he’s also just very happy to be here, just look at that smile. Also that is the best shark I’ve seen on the 2600, his jaws move and his tail wiggles, a real step up from Sea Hunt or Shark Attack, I can see why this was originally marketed to Parker Brothers as a Jaws game, though I don’t see why they’d have the shark in the game be more animated than the one in the movie. Also I would recommend letting the shark get to the bottom of the screen at least once, the animation that plays is suitably funny.

This is a rather musically inclined game, the opening tune is suitably swashbuckling, and imparts decent sense of adventure it also doesn’t make my ears bleed. There is a little victory tune whenever you finish a round it does make me feel victorious so I guess it has worked as a victory tune. Otherwise most of the sounds are beeps and boops as is standard on the 2600, but the game does use the whooshing noises well, to indicate your little scuba dude getting air from the surface. There is very little else otherwise apart from the death noise which like the animation that plays, is suitably funny.

This is another one of those move-around-the-bottom-of-the-screen-and-shoot-things games, but it actually uses an original concept for once. Instead of shooting ships in space, you’re battling off an invasive squid and an aggressive shark. The squid’s tentacles slowly move toward the bottom of the screen in an attempt to snatch away the treasure you’re protecting, while the shark just wants lunch. If the squid gets one of its tentacles all the way to the bottom of the screen your scuba dude will be obscured by ink and some of the treasure will be missing. You have a limited amount of oxygen, what with you being at the bottom of the sea and all, that’s where our extremely happy friend in the boat comes in; periodically they’ll drop an oxygen line for you to replenish your stores with. The higher your score gets and the more rounds you beat, the faster the squid will drop tentacles and the faster the shark will move back and forth down the screen, the difficulty does scale well and if you’re not particularly good at predictive positioning you’ll have challenging time, but I think a good one nonetheless.

Name this game is one of U.S. Games’ best games, it’s fun, it’s challenging, it’s cheap… You can probably find a copy in the wild for less than 5$ but if you can’t then you can find loose copies on Ebay for less than 10$. I would recommend against purchasing a boxed copy since U.S. Games are one of the more frequently scalped companies on the system, but if you’re determined then you can find boxed copies of varying quality from 40-100$.