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Ram It (Telesys)

DoctorSpuds

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And the award for the second worst game title goes to… … …Ram It! I don’t even know why they went with this name in particular because you don’t actually do any ramming in the game whatsoever. I wish I could give this game a full review but due to the simplistic nature of every aspect of the game a single paragraph will have to do. Graphically the game looks good but doesn’t impress me all too much, sure the amount of colors on display are cool but I’m just not getting any of that Wow Factor like one would get from a Xonox title, which are also extremely colorful. You are surrounded on all sides by colored bars that slowly, or quickly depending on how they feel, grow longer and it’s up to you to shoot them all into oblivion. When you completely shoot away a colored bar it stays gone so the overall goal of the game is to clear the screen as many times as possible before a bar grows to its full length and you bash your head on it or something . That’s all the game really ends up being, an endless struggle against a bunch of giant crayons hell-bent on denting your cranium. The movements are very sensitive, even the manual tells you to have a ‘light touch’ on the controller to play the game in any capacity. Sometimes you’ll position yourself just right and you can hit two bars at once which is a little rewarding since it plays a different noise other than a high pitched beep. Yeah, despite the box calling this game ‘a medley of musical mayhem’ the game actually has zero music and just plays high pitched beeps. But, despite all that I’ve been saying so far, the game does have a redeeming factor, the game variations. The standard variation, and the one most people are likely to experience first, is actually the children’s mode, with the slowest growing blocks, the slowest shooting, and no bonus bars. If you play game 7, with the fastest shooting, growing and, bonus bars the game turns into a hectic mess of frantically shooting and hoping for a good bonus to come along and save your ass. The bonus bars, which you will not experience in game 1, are flashing bars that when shot will disappear full and add to your bonus at the bottom of the screen which also acts as a time limit, the longer the bar the bigger the bonus. At the highest speed the bonuses are crucial for you to clear the screen, though I’d recommend you let them grow a bit before you blast them into bits. Ram It really surprised me, I played this game with flashbacks of Squeeze Box by U.S. Games but Ram It simply blows that game out of the water. It may not have amazing graphics, or sounds, but the gameplay just makes you want to keep playing it again and again. Since this is one of Telesys’ final games the price on Ram It are a little high, though the prices do seem to be showing a downward curve. The current cheapest copy on Ebay is sitting at $25+free shipping while the most expensive is at $130+4 dollars shipping, there’s even a boxed copy listed which is sitting at $158.50. If you find a copy for around twenty bucks I’d say go for it, but anything above that is too expensive, so unless you can find it at the right price Ram It goes to the Collector’s Zone.

 

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