The worst game ever made.

Entry posted by atari2600land March 25, 2011

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After years of playing video games, I have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I have found the ugliness of the ugly. It's so horrible, it's aguilidious. Yes, that is a word I made up because there are no words in the English language that can define this game. Yes, folks, I have found it. It is not on the Odyssey 2 console, although most of their games are pretty awful, but the Odyssey 2 has escaped the worst game ever made. It's not on the Atari 2600, so you folks who whine about how awful E.T. and Pac-Man are, I would much rather play E.T. than this horrible piece of garbage. Yes folks, I am about to announce the worst game ever made. You'd think it wouldn't be on a Nintendo console, but it is. And it's on the Game Boy, that lovely little piece of software that enabled players to play while in the bathroom (although Microvision was the first.) Anyway, back to the aguilidious game. I was taking a leaf through my Game Boy launch lineup and thought, "ooh, man, I bought this, I should play it." I bought it just so I could have a complete collection. And yes, I popped Baseball into the slot where the games go. Little did I know I was about to experience the worst game of all time. First of all, all you can get (if you're lucky enough to hit the ball) are singles. Yes, singles. No doubles, no triples, and after half an hour of playing this aguilidious piece of garbage, I managed one home run, and the computer hit three. Well, I did have to shut the Game Boy off and back on, hoping after each home run the computer hit that it was just a lucky fluke. But no. It's like you are in charge of the Mariners and you're playing the Yankees. That's how lopsided a defeat this thing delivers. Well, that is, if you are masochistic enough to sit through and be on the losing side of a 47-0 loss. I am not, and so that is the reason why Baseball for the Game Boy is the most horrible "game" ever made. It is only technically a game, a more accurate description is a steaming pile of dog diarrhea that you are forced to drink. Come to think of it, if some guy with a gun came up to me and said "OK, listen up, you have a choice between playing Baseball for the Nintendo Game Boy and having sex with your mother!" I'd beg the guy to shoot me right in the head. Yes, folks, I have found it. And that is why I am never playing Baseball ever again. And if you are lucky enough to reach first base, it's just the stupid game raping your brain, hoping you'll make it to second, but, of course, you never will, because the computer always wins. It likes winning. God forbid I win. Game over to Baseball.