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Trying to figure out what I should do...


PacManPlus

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I'm not sure who will read this, but here goes...

 

I had left AA in October due to Real Life circumstances and a few other reasons (that I won't get into). I wanted to concentrate on my current career (in the IT dept of the Healthcare field) because there are quite a few things I have to learn. But I'm finding that I am not picking up things any faster by removing the 'distractions' that I thought were attributing to the hinderance of me learning this stuff. So, I'm starting to see less and less of the point of me leaving, and removing a hobby that is so dear to me.

 

Everyone has something in their life they were 'meant' to do; something that makes them feel like they are worth something. If you are lucky enough to be doing that for a 'living', your life is set. Most people, however, aren't able to do so.

 

I am blessed in the respect that I have *two* things that fall into that category; creating music and creating games. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to transform either of those hobbies into a 'career'... The problem now is I am finding (and this may sound corny) that there is something major missing in my life now since I've stopped creating games on the 7800. (I gave up on my music a few years ago after 25+ years of sending into radio stations, entering contests, speding too much money on TAXI, and even visiting record companies themselves).

 

The problem here is that if my current carer path ends up being too difficult for me, I am getting older now (43 ATM) to the point where it will only get *more* difficult to take on something new. I guess I'm babbling... anyway, just trying to think about things and how I will support myself for whatever is left of my life.

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Better to be your own sponsor. Work to support your creative efforts. We'll never break into the recording or gaming industry. Frankly, I wouldn't want to be a part of it. Find your own way. Work to live - not live to work.

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If the “something major missing in my life” is filled with creating homebrews on the 7800 regardless of career path, then the answer is pretty much there.

 

However, “major” can mean different things to different people and the impact and significance also can vary greatly.

 

My 2 cents would be to try and do what makes you happy when you can do so. Honestly, I am at a point in my professional career that I’m not thrilled with but have found the time I have invested in working on the color palette for 7800 emulators to be something I enjoy doing and researching. I can only imagine how much more fun and challenging it can be to actually create games.

 

As a last note, I went through a bad stretch when I was out of work for a year. The majority of that time was the worst feeling and overall predicament I ever found myself. When my current job has me ready to quit, I remind myself of how much worse it is to be out of work with collectors calling and unable to make ends meet. I second theloon’s comment on: “Work to live – not live to work”.

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You need to look at the new paradigm. Musicians are making and marketing their own music all on their own. Record companies are a thing of the past. They just don't know it yet.(Well, they do really) The same is going to/is happening with movies. The big studios are putting out crap (and that is a compliment). People are making their own films. You should do the same with what ever you do. Companies like Apple are trying to recreate the old paradigm with apps like other industries did. But in the long run it won't work. New industries in the new paradigm are starting as well. What until the 3-D printers advance more. No more going to Walmart for a plastic thingy. Just make it yourself or have a local person make one for you with your design. Eventually it will be other materials as well like metals and super-strong plastics. Things are changing rather quickly and there will come a time when people will be their own industries. No more being taken advantage of by a small group of leeches.

 

Do some research on people making, marketing and selling their own creations on the Net. There are a ton of new possibilities for people today that didn't exist in the past. It will only get better in the future. The hardest part though is changing your own belief system.

 

The only downside is that the old paradigm will not go out with a fight. But eventually it/they will eventually be a thing of the past. I can tell you more but that would have to be in private. Good luck.

 

Allan

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Bob, I know what you are going through. I've been working in IT support myself for over 20+ years. I've seen a lot of changes and the direction things have been going leave me pondering what I will be doing in 5-10 years myself. I'm about the same age as you and I've struggled to pick up new technologies since I do not have the time or financial means to go to school since my job ties up roughly 14 hours of my day M-F.

 

I am also a musician and gave up that dream ages ago. However, I do enjoy jamming with friends or performing live which fulfills a void in my life that cannot be filled with other things (perhaps the 7800 in your case).

 

Give yourself some time, do some soul-searching, and I'm sure you will find the light at the tunnel you have been looking for. You are never too old to learn something new. You just might not have found something that has the passion that drives you to achieve your goal.

 

When you have that passion you can do anything.

 

We're all here for you!

 

Scott

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I think it is sometimes best to keep a bit of distance between your hobby and your career. Having to work 9 to 5 on something can really suck the life out of it, and having management dictate the direction of something that you really care about can be soul destroying. I worked as a programmer in the games industry for a short time and didn't enjoy it. I now work as a web developer and program games in my spare time, which works much better for me.

 

Chris

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I would really miss working on homeberews. Even though there are times when I just can't find the time (due to work) or just don't have the interest, after a break from it I always come back to it. I enjoy it as a hobby, because it's an oft-needed diversion, and I simply enjoy doing it. I worked professionally as an artist before, and it turned something I loved into drudgery. Even though part of me thinks I'd like to make a living as an artist again, I know that it would always require compromise. By keeping it for myself, it remains something I enjoy on my own terms, and can step away from as needed.

 

I work in technology too, and I spend a good chunk of my time trying to just keep up. But I try and leave that for work. Even though I've worked some ridiculously long days, at the end of them, I can still go home and just pursue what I enjoy, when I enjoy it, and how I enjoy it. I've known a lot of people who have gone into a job doing something they loved to do, and yet they complain just as much about their jobs as anyone else.

 

All jobs have good and bad points. But as theloon said, work to live - don't live to work. Everyone needs to have something to enjoy that is their own. It helps keep us sane.

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I am starting to miss it.

 

Thanks guys - I appreciate the feedback; I've got a lot to think about. I guess it just comes down to the fact that I'm getting a little afraid thinking about how I'm going to support myself for the rest of my life. I know that's everyone's fear as well.

 

Allan - I actually did think of going my own route, but the only problem is I believe my songs are good *DEMOS*, but I know I'm nowhere near a good producer. :( That was my plan all along; I never really wanted to be in the spotlight (I'm not built for that)... I was always more into writing songs for other people to see where they could take them. When you *want* to go that route, knowing that your songs aren't optimal but believing the right producer/artist would make all of the difference, you *need* a record company...

 

Getting back to the games, though - after the new year is underway I will figure out what I am doing hopefully.

 

Thanks again, guys - you are a great bunch of people... truly. :)

Bob

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