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sometimes when im alone at home i like to rub vaseline on my body and pretend im a slug.
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Most humans don't need the Vaseline. They already look like they're covered in it. Have you ever had to shake hands with a human? Their hands are coated with snot, earwax, funky crotch sweat, butt crack butter, and the last greasy thing they ate. Everything they touch looks like it is covered in ectoplasm. Nasty creatures.
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