Flack

Back in January, 2007, the fam and I stopped by Yukon's downtown train museum. Yukon's downtown train museum consists to two train cars permanently parked on a small section of track just off Main Street. In the window of one of the cars there are two permanently affixed signs. One reads "By Appt. Only," the other says "CLOSED." I'm not sure which was posted first. Nobody I know has ever seen inside the train museum, which really isn't the point. It's two stationary train cars that kids can climb all over. One thing I like about the train is that there has been absolutely no effort to child proof the thing at all. Forget taking your shoes off before playing -- in fact, steel-toed boots probably wouldn't be a bad idea here. Both cars are covered in exposed bolts, sharp edges and steep steps, all hungry for blood. I should also mention that the retired train sits about fifteen feet from live train tracks, which is a great place for children to be playing. Again, I'm getting sidetracked. So back in January when we told Mason we were going to go see the trains, he insisted on bringing, of all things, a magic wand. Why? Who knows, but he did. And of course, two minutes into the trip, Mason had lost his magic wand. He poked it through one of the floor grates where it fell, but never hit the ground below. It must've landed on that magical shelf where every screwdriver I've ever dropped in my truck's engine bay lands. The magic wand never reappeared, and there were many tears. Fast forward ten months to last Monday. Susan, Morgan and I all had Columbus Day off; Mason had school. I guess they have to learn that dumb "In fourteen-hundred-and-ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue" poem sometime. While the girls and I found ourselves at Party Bizarre (formerly MG Novelties) browsing though Halloween crap, Susan ran across magic wands for a dollar. The minute I saw her pick the wand up, the two of us came up with the same plan at the same time -- go back to the train, plant the wand, and let Mason discover it. At 3:30pm, we picked up Mason from school. I made up some BS excuse for driving downtown and when we passed the train Mason said, "hey, there's the train where I lost my magic wand!" Hook, line, and sinker. This was going to be easy. "Do you want to go look for it?" we asked. "Yeah!" So I park and the kids run toward the train cars. Susan and Mason go around one way and I go around the other. Susan palms the wand from her purse and sneaks it to me; I slip it into my pocket. As Mason begins looking on one side of the train, I drop the wand under the steps on the other side, where he lost the wand. Unfortunately for the boy he searches for things like I do which means there's no chance of him ever finding the wand on his own. After a little coaxing, I lead him toward the area where I've planted the wand. Eventually, he spots it. "MY MAGIC WAND!" he exclaims. Quickly, his smile fades. "This isn't my wand," he says. "What do you mean that's not your wand," I say. "Of course it is!" Mason studied the wand carefully. "Nah, this one's thicker." "Thicker? Mason, what are the odds that two magic wands have been lost here at the train?" I said. "Nah. The ends are all wrong on his one," he said, holding the wand up and looking through the end of it. Keep in mind that the kid hasn't seen his old wand in ten months. Scrambling for a way out of this one, I came up with this gem. "Maybe someone else found your old wand, felt bad about it, came back and left you their wand." He seemed okay with that. As Susan and I made our way toward the car with Morgan, I heard Mason shouting behind us. "Dad! I lost my wand again!" This time it was just the white end piece, which did manage to avoid landing on the magic shelf and worked its way out to the ground below. We snagged it and quickly ran to the truck, before the train could eat another wand.

Morgan and I had lunch at Taco Bell on Sunday. The mob that ordered before us consisted of one adult and six kids, ranging in age from one to around seven or eight. To say that the guy lost control of the kids implies that he ever had control in the first place. One kid in particular, a five or six-year-old little girl named Rosa, wanted nothing to do with dad. Instead, she wanted a gumball. The gumball machine is located next to the front counter where customers order food. It was also directly next to where Morgan and I were sitting -- maybe four feet away. "GUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!" shouted the child as she slapped the machine with an open hand. The father, a member of the "ignore her and she'll quit" camp, did nothing. But Rosa did not quit. Her open handed blows quickly turned to closed fists. Punch after punch, Rosa hammered away at the gumball machine. "GUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!" Soon, the punches turned to kicks. Front kicks, side kicks, spinning heel kicks ... Rosa delivered them all with pinpoint accuracy, mixing more punches and chops in with her assault. The banging was so loud that the employee at the cash register could not hear people ordering. The only break in Rosa's attack came when she decided to try and push the machine over by first climbing and then rocking it. Fortunately, she was unsuccessful. Morgan watched in horror, her eyes bigger than I've ever seen them. "GUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" After several minutes of unrelenting onslaught, Rosa's dad finally came to the gumball machine's aid. With one arm he picked Rosa up around the waist and carried her back to the table. With one final strike left in her, Rosa ran from the table toward the gumball machine with full force, jumping and kicking the machine with both feet at the same time. As the child hit the floor, she began to scream. With all eyes on him, Rosa's Dad gathered the gang together and took them all out to the car. Then, with the kids out in the car, Dad returned to the restaurant, quietly finished his burrito, got a refill and left.

Yesterday marked the 42nd annual Czech Festival in Yukon, Oklahoma. I've attended over half of them (essentially every one since 1978) and participated in a few as a kid, but it's possible 2007's festival may have been my last. After taking a look at my review of last year's Czech Festival, I'd say all the things I complained about last year held true once again this year. Same crowds, same crazy parking, same rude people walking up and standing directly in front of us five minutes before the parade starts. In that same entry from last year, I mentioned the three main things we look forward to at every Czech Festival: the Shriners, the candy-throwing, and the spotting of old friends. The 2007 Czech Festival marked several firsts. For example, this was the first year that throwing candy to the crowd was prohibited. Risking life and limb by darting in and out of traffic for the sake of a Tootsie Pop has been a long standing parade tradition, but apparently the ever-growing fear of a kid getting run over by a float (and the ensuing lawsuit) was enough to finally ban candy-throwing. A quick Google search shows that this trend is sweeping cities across America after one or two kids were run over by parade floats. Parade floats move pretty slow, and I'm not sure we need anyone who can't manage to stay out of their way breeding. Apparently parade organizers don't see this as the postive example of natural selection that I do. And so, this year, no candy. No throwing candy, no passing out candy, nothing. I had two kids who went to the Czech Festival with a trick-or-treat bucket and it was as empty after the parade as before. And for the record, my five-year-old could really give a crap about kids in Czech costumes riding down the street, sitting on Miatas. You want my kids' attention? You throw bubble gum. The other part of the parade everyone looks forward to are the Shriners. I'm know Shriners do a lot of things like run hospitals and help sick kids, but the most important thing they do is ride kick ass three wheelers in parades. To quote myself from last year's Czech Festival entry, "the Shriners always appear near the end of the parade because there is no other way parade organizers could get thousands of people to stand around watching dozens of Mazda Miatas cruising by at 2mph with kids sitting on the back waving to the masses unless they knew that something exciting was coming later." The Shriners' fast-paced antics are everyone's reward for sitting through all the other crap. I don't know why the Shriners weren't there this year. If throwing candy was deemed too dangerous then old men burning rubber and doing wheelies on two, three and four-wheeled vehicles may have been too much as well. Calling the Shriners' tricks a highlight of the parade is an understatement. Their appearance comprises a fourth of the parade, otherwise known as "the fourth worth staying awake for." As for the spotting of friends ... there were some, just not mine. While neither Susan nor I ran into any of the friends we normally see, Mason ran into two or three of his classmates. I suppose a changing of the guard is upon us. Will the 2007 Czech Festival be my last? I don't know. I had always assumed that someday my own enjoyment of the parade would subside and it would become something I attended for my kids instead. With no Shriners and no candy, Mason and Morgan were completely bored and it's going to be a tough sell to get them to go next year. Czech Festival 2007 Pictures

There's something about spiders that makes them appear smaller in pictures than appear in real life. Did you ever notice that? Multiple times I've seen spiders and thought, "man, that's really big!" Then you take a picture of it and in the picture it looks really tiny. Maybe there's something about our brains that makes them seem bigger to us than they really are. Is there a scientific reason for this? I was thinking, maybe in real life our brains fill in the gaps between the spider's legs and make them seem bigger because we interpret them as being dangerous, but don't do that when looking at a picture because it's not a danger at that point. I don't know why it happens to be honest. When Mason and I got home yesterday there was a giant spider next to our front door. I guess it has something to do with our wet and mild summer, but giant spiders are everywhere right now. The funny thing about this spider was, the day before Susan had hung a giant fake spider for Halloween on the wall directly behind where the real spider had spun its web; it's as if we had hung a big welcome sign, and this garden spider had taken us up on our offer. Normally I'm a "live and let live" type of guy when it comes to spiders but this web was located in the "take one wrong step and you're getting a face full of web and giant spider" zone. So, armed with a yard stick, I removed the web and relocated the spider to the front lawn. Before removing the web I took a picture of the giant, monsterous creature. In the photos, he's so small you can barely tell where he is.

Mason and I had breakfast this weekend at the Waffle House in Yukon. Apparently, the restaurant is currently being rennovated -- most of the tables and booths had been removed, leaving four booths and a few spots at the counter available. Fortunately for us, one of the booths was immediately available, and we were quickly seated. As Mason and I ate breakfast, more customers began entering the restaurant and, with no booths available, began sitting alongside the wall in chairs while waiting for a booth to become available. There's nothing I enjoy more when eating than having a bunch of hungry people staring at me, watching me chow down! The couple next to us finished a few minutes before we did. After they left, the next group waiting for a seat walked over to the table (still covered in used dishes) and stood, waiting for someone to come and bus the table. No one did. Eventually a young waitress emerged from behind the counter, walked past the couple with a coffee pot in her hands, and began pouring refills. The couple stood beside the table, arms crossed, waiting to make eye contact with the young waitress -- dyed hair, square glasses, pierced face. "Hi, could you please clean this table," the people asked. "Yeah ... um, I don't really do that," she said. I cocked my head sideways, thinking to myself, "did she really just say that?" I guess she did, because the people standing there with their arms crossed turned to one another and said, "did she really just say that?" Another one of the waitresses must've heard the exchange because she came out from behind the counter and quickly cleaned off the table while apologizing for the wait. All I kept thinking to myself was, yeah, she probably won't be doing much there for long.

This week in Security Guard Training Class, we took a break from our normal studies and spent this week focusing on first aid and CPR training. I've been wanting to tape a CPR class for a long time, ever since Mason was born. It's one of those things that I think is really important, and yet I've never set the time aside to actually do it. I was glad to see CPR training was included as part of the Private Investigator course; in fact, it was probably my final deciding factor in taking the class. The first night of CPR training consisted primarily of diagnosing different injuries and learning how to treat them. The second night involved hands on training, thanks to our training dummies. I named my dummy Betty, which is kind of weird seeing as the dummy is obviously male. Whatever. After breathing into our dummies and performing chest compressions, the last thing we trained on was the automated external defibrillator (AED) machine -- CLEAR! The primary lesson I learned from class was that CPR is designed to keep someone alive long enough for paramedics to arrive. I did not think that after only eight hours of class I would feel confident enough to perform these techniques on someone should the occasion arise, but surprisingly now, I think I probably could. If we ever go out to dinner and you start choking, we can find out.

ExtremeTech.com ran an article today titled Five PC Gaming Myths. This article was so poorly thought out, I felt strongly compelled to write a response. With that, below are the five myths along with select quotes from the article, along with my own comments and responses. Myth #1: PC gaming is way too expensive In an attempt to debunk this first myth, the author points out that gaming machines can be bought for "under $1,500." I don't know about you, but right off the bat, $1,500 sounds pretty expensive to me. The author justifies the price by stating that "computers do more than just play games," but he fails to mention that in this day and age, so do gaming consoles. The original Xbox, which can be bought for "under $100", makes a pretty good media center and emulation box. My favorite quote from this section was, "Of course, $1,500 isn't chump change. It's far more expensive than a $300 console system," which sounds to me like he's supporting the myth he's supposed to be debunking. The final section of his argument is that new PC games cost $50, while PS3 and Xbox 360 games cost $60. Of course the author ignores Wii games (which list for $50). To further make his point, the author points out that older PC games are "often available for $20 or $30." That's true. Then again, Wal-Mart has select PS2 games bundles with 3 games for $10. Another fact the author neglected to mention was that his $1,500 machine will no doubt need to be upgraded. My PS2, Xbox and Gamecube (and Atari 2600, NES and Super Nintendo, if you want to go old school) have never needed upgrading. They're still running on the game processors, video cards, and RAM they shipped with. I doubt a $1,500 gaming PC purchased the same day the PS2 launched (in 2001) will run new games without needing upgrades. Rob's Summary: PC gaming is more expensive than console gaming. Myth #2: PC gaming means nothing but broken releases, updates, and patches Once again, the author makes several statements which seem not to dispell but rather support the myth. The author states that because PC game makers must test their games against loads of configurations, "some PC games release with bugs and need to be patched. Okay, virtually every game gets a patch." Maybe it's just me, but if "virtually every game gets a patch," doesn't that sound like broken releases? The author's major point here is that console games are now requiring patches as well. The second half of the author's argument is that "Windows does a good job of auto-patching itself," a comment that just sent IT employees across the globe chuckling. And again, the author points out that all three modern consoles require system firmware upgrades. What the author does not mention is how many times I have purchased PC games only to get them home and discover that they would not work with my computer. Sometimes it's the video card, sometimes it's the processor, sometimes it's a driver, sometimes nobody knows why and I'm just out of luck. I've never purchased a PS3 game that didn't work on my PS3 when I got it home. Rob's Summary: I think even my hardcore PC-gaming friends would agree that PC games receive more patches than console games. While I agree that it's probably not as bad as some people envision, it's certainly more prevelant on PCs than it is on consoles. Myth #3: PC games don't sell, and are falling far behind console game sales The author's argument here is that people wrongfully compare the total number of PC games sold to the total number of console games sold, where instead we should divide the total number of console games sold by the total number of consoles to get more accurate comparisons. I'll buy that. His other points are that the online sales of PC games aren't included in those numbers. My problem with this whole myth was, who cares? I don't care if Halo 3 only sells twelve copies this year as long as I get one, copies, and I couldn't care less if PC games outsell console games 100 to 1. Sales numbers don't affect my personal gaming experience one bit. Rob's Summary: Somebody, somewhere is still losing sleep over which platform sells the most games. Myth #4: Online gaming on the PC is a mess, and no match for the likes of Xbox Live The author's argument here has three major points. First, he states that PC-based online gaming programs Steam and Xfire do more than Xbox Live. As a caveat I have not used these services, but based on their websites, I can do some simple comparisons. The author complains that for online gaming to work, the 360 and PS3 need to download upgrades. He conveniently forgets to mention that Steam performs mandatory auto-updating every time you run it, one of the biggest complains about the product. The author complains that Steam is free, while Xbox Live is not. Again, he avoids the fact that online gaming on the PS3 is free. His final argument is that Xbox Live costs $50/year, while "on the PC, with the obvious exception of MMOs like World of Warcraft or Lord of the Rings Online, is almost always free." The obvious avoided logic here is that if you play *2* PC games online, then PC gaming is more expensive. Once again in a poor attempt to persuade readers, the author has left out some obvious facts. The fact is, online console gaming is four hundred and ninty-two billion times easier to set up than most online PC games. Boot up your console, it's online. Load up your game, and you're ready for online play. Anyone who's ever tried installing an online game on their PC, configure Vista, open ports on a wireless router, only to hit a blue screen or simply give up after hours of effort knows what a pain in the ass it can sometimes be to get these things to work. Rob's Summary: Online gaming on a PC is more complicated than online gaming on a console, and is no match for Xbox Live. Myth #5: Copy protection on PC games is a major headache The author begins this one with, "Okay, I'll kind of give you this one." He later states that some annoying PC copy protection schemes can be circumvented with "no CD cracks." He ends his argument with, "So yeah, PC copy protections can be a bigger annoyance than the console 'just pop in the disc and don't worry about it' model." His only real complaint against console gaming is that things downloaded to your console cannot be easily moved to someone else's console. My response to that would be, well, duh. Rob's Summary: Copy protection on PC games can be a major headache. Hidden in the middle of the author's conclusion is the hidden gem, "great games are where you find them." That may be the one part of his article that I completely agree with. Truly good games are platform independent. You can find good games everywhere. Too bad the same can't be said for web journalism.

Yesterday, our new CIO visited Oklahoma City for the first time. All employees were asked to clean up their work areas and dress nicely. I wore a nice pair of khakis, a dress shirt, and my suit jacket that normally only comes out of the closet for weddings and funerals. For those of you who don't know, I work in a basement behind locked doors; dressing up isn't a typically a job requirement. If I seemed bitter or sarcastic on Monday, I was. Every time anyone of importance visits our branch, they never visit the basement. "Important people are coming, be sure to look your best!" And, just like Charlie Brown thinking he's going to kick the football, I pick up my work area and dress up. And, every single time, they never materialize -- at least, not down at my the level of the organizational chart. I spend the entire day feeling like a high school freshman, sitting along the sidelines and waiting to get picked to dance. I spent the day working as usual, beads of sweat rolling down my back under my suit jacket, under my dress shirt, under my undershirt. Throughout the day I heard rumors -- "oh, he'll be coming soon!" -- but of course, just like all the others, it never happened. "If the CIO comes down later, tell him I wore a suit," I said to Johnny, as I walked out at the end of the day. Johnny stayed an hour later than I did, but he didn't get to meet him either. It is a demeaning feeling to realize as an employee you're not worth an introduction or a handshake. Ah well. I'll probably get the kick the football next time.

Shortly after getting my first CD player (Christmas morning, 1991), I began purchasing CDs. What good is a CD player without any CDs to play on it, right? Unfortunately, shopping on my fast food income back then forced me to choose price over quality, which is really the only defense I have in admitting that I own any of these stinkers. I'm sure many of you own a CD or a DVD that you purchased "just to have something to play" when you brought your first player home. Somehow I amassed several, most of which should have been dumped in the garbage a long time ago. I've spent the last couple of months periodically ripping my entire CD collection (1,200+ discs) to MP3 format, and while going through my collection I've found quite a few bombs. With that, I now present to you the five worst CDs I own. Yakety Yak - Take It Back! I purchased this CD because of its bright packaging and list of celebrities printed on the front cover. This CD Maxi-Single is actually a collection of radio commercials. Hosted by Yakety Yak (a big, dumb, cartoon Yak with a hoop earring for extra street cred) and featuring such celebrities as Bugs Bunny, Pat Benatar, Charlie Daniels, Lita Ford, B.B. King, Queen Latifah, Kenny Loggins, Ozzy Osbourne, Tone Loc, Barry White and Stevie Wonder, this CD urges people to "buy stuff that's recycled, and recycle the stuff you buy. Take it back!" I don't know exactly what I was thinking when I bought this -- wait, yes I do, it still has the .99 price tag on the cover. I've never thrown this CD into the garbage because its recycling theme makes me feel too guilty to do it. Ren and Stimpy - Little Eediot Radio Interview Disc Here's another one I should have trashed long ago. At the time I thought maybe this was an interview a radio station did with the creators of the show or something, but in reality, Little Eediot is CD that allows radio DJs to interview the two cartoon characters about their show and new (at the time) album, You Eediot! Each track on the CD is a response to a specific question. Ask the right question, play the response, and you have an interview with Ren and Stimpy. I have no idea why I still own this. I keep thinking, "hey, maybe someday someone will ask me to interview Ren and Stimpy about their new television show or album (from the early 90s)," but so far no one has. "So, Ren, how's the new season look?" Not too good. Thunderstorm Sounds While digging through a stack of used CDs years ago I ran across Metallica's Ride the Lightning. I set it aside and continued digging. When it was time to leave I picked up the CD, paid for it, and left the store. Out in my car, I put the CD in and immediately outside I heard thunder and rain. This was especially odd as it was a bright sunny day and clearly was not raining. At this same time I began wondering why I did not hear Metallica playing in my car stereo. I eventually put two and two together and realized the thunder I was hearing was coming out of my radio. Instead of buying Ride the Lightning I had somehow accidentally picked up Thunderstorm Sounds on CD instead. In my defense, both covers do have lightning strikes on their covers. Every time I get ready to toss this CD in the trash I talk myself out of it, thinking that someday I may want to listen to a thunderstorm. It hasn't happened yet, but you never know. What happens if I move to a desert someday? James Bond Themes as performed by some random orchestra Turns out, I don't even know that many James Bond themes, and the ones on this disc I do know are tough to recognize as this entire thing is performed by some random orchestra (which is probably in reality a high school band). The only reason I've kept this CD is because I think no one else in the world would be dumb enough to buy this, which must make it pretty rare. As possibly the only copy in circulation, I'm hoping someday it becomes a rare collectable worth millions of dollars. At least, that's how I advertise it every time I try to sell it on eBay for a penny. [email protected] [email protected]@K JAMES BOND .01 NO RESERVE. Spooky Halloween Sound Effects You 80s kids probably remember those cheap Halloween cassettes that flooded department stores once a year. These tapes consisted of an hour's worth of Halloween sound effects, from rattling chains and moaning ghosts to cackling witches. Well, for $5, you can now own those same spooktacular cassettes on CD. Unfortunately, despite the increase in stereo fidelity and audio quality, this CD still sounds pretty stupid. What I thought was a spooky wind blowing on my old cassette turned out just to be hiss. With that gone, now it sounds like a bunch of underpaid studio interns standing around a mic pretending to be ghosts and black cats. Every year I consider putting a CD player out on my front porch and playing this CD but the sound effects are so lame that it would just be embarassing. Plus every year kids come by and smash my jack-o-lantern and I'd hate to see what they would do if I left a CD player out on the porch. So there you have it, the Five Worst CDs I Own, all of which have now been ripped to MP3 format for their eternal preservation. Coming up in a few days will be my list of the worst one hit wonder CDs I have in my collection. The hardest part will be narrowing down the list to the top 100 or so.

Spokane's Oil Filter I could, and someday might, write a book about my experiences with the band Oil Filter. Until then, allow me to summarize our history. I first saw Oil Filter play live while visiting Spokane, Washington on a work trip back in 1995. The marquee outside the small club read, "FOUR BANDS, THREE DOLLARS" -- how could I resist? Of the four bands that played that night, it was Oil Filter who stuck with me. Their sound was unlike anything I had ever heard before, and I loved it. I bought the band's demo tape at the show, talked with Matt (lead singer/guitar) for a few minutes, and left. A few days later I flew back to Oklahoma, and that was the end of that -- or so I thought. In 1996, I accepted a job with the FAA office in Spokane, Washington. Susan and I packed up our belongings and moved 1,800 miles away from home. Since we didn't know anyone in Spokane, we began looking for clubs where bands played, and before long we ran across Oil Filter once again (Spokane isn't that large). I began writing for a local rag (The Wyre) for a month or so before deciding to set out on my own. I launched In-Tune Magazine in late 1996. My first feature interview was with Oil Filter, who by then had released a second demo tape. Through the magazine I developed friendships with several of the members, and although I had no musical advice to offer the group, what I did have was computer knowledge. I began designing flyers for the band's shows. I set up the band's first official website. Matt and I designed the band's t-shirts and bumper stickers on my computer. And, in late 1997, I created the band's entire CD packaging, including all artwork, layout and design. From 1996 - 1998 I also began recording the band's live performances. Not all of them, of course, as I also began working the lights at their shows. I did end up with two or three pretty good live video recordings of the band performing and, while I don't think any recording has ever captured the massive live sound of the band, it's all we have to remember them by. Ih the spring of 1998, Susan and I moved back to Oklahoma, and a year or two after that, Oil Filter broke up. Ryan (bass) and Tony (guitar) relocated to Portland and formed new bands. Synthia (drums) and Matt (vocals, guitar) later followed. The last I heard, Matt was back in Spokane, or maybe not. All the band members have a nomadic quality about them. Other than Ryan (who regularly checks his MySpace page), the rest of the guys are pretty tough to track down. Recently while going through my old collection of videotapes, I ran across one labeled "Oil Filter." Being 10+ years old, the beginning of the tape has several bad spots. The 2nd and 3rd shows are decent quality. I dumped all three shows into my computer, converted them, and uploaded them to YouTube for the world to enjoy. There are talks of compiling all the band's known recordings (both audio and video) into one massive DVD collection, but I don't know if that will ever happen. Until then, here are my videos, divided up into YouTube playlists so you can each concert in its entirety. Warning: Oil Filter's music isn't for everybody. It's loud, vulgar, and insanely heavy. These links are being provided more for search engines and Internet wanderers than anything else. If you like your music slow, deep and heavy, click away; otherwise, simply imagine the loudest, most annoying music you can think of. It's a lot like that. I hope some of you who remember the Spokane metal music scene of the late 1990s will enjoy and appreciate these links. R.I.P., Oil Filter. Links: Oil Filter at the MET (11/96) http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=A2A21EB8D40502B5 Oil Filter at Ichabod's (12/96) http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=F8FAFB9712387069 Oil Filter at Ichabod's (05/97) http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=1802C6C9E25ABFF0

That's exactly right. The game Mason wanted to play involved throwing darts to pop balloons. $2 throw, and you're guaranteed a win every time. For $2 you get a small prize. For 3 small prizes you got a medium prize. ($2x3=$6). For 3 Medium prizes you got a large prize ($6x3 = $18). The large prizes were those big inflatable Spider-Man and Shrek things that are $5 at the store. I wonder what the magical age is where you begin understanding that midway games and ticket redemption games are rip offs?

Sunday was our famlly's first official visit to the Great State Fair of Oklahoma. While this year's Fair commercials constantly remind us that this is Oklahoma's 100th Birthday, I wouldn't have known it simply by attending. I didn't see a banner, sign, or even a birthday cake marking the event. But, I CAN tell you that this is the 100th anniversary of the Fair paying homeless people minimum wage to work there. Even before we reached the gate we met the hippie who charges you $5 to park, the young black kid who won't get off his cell phone long enough to tell you where to park, the senile old lady who sells you tickets and ignores any questions you might ask, and the unemployeed biker dude who simply growls when you hand him your ticket at the gate. Stereotypes for the win! We decided to hit the fair Sunday morning before the crowds arrived, and that part of our plan went well. Mason and Morgan are still young enough that we can trick them into believing the free stuff is fun. The kids had a good time looking at horses and watching the FFA students shave sheep. Then we walked through some of the buildings. The kids got some free trinkets and Susan and I enjoyed the free air conditioning. Due to Susan's lapband surgery I have lost my long time eating partner. While at the fair I had an Indian Taco, a deep-fried Snickers, and a jug of Root Beer. Susan didn't have anything. The kids didn't want anything. Fools. Before heading out I took Mason through part of the Midway. He still things all the games are on the up and up and doesn't know why I would rather take him to Toys R Us and buy him something than let him waste money throwing darts at balloons. Here's a quick game we can play. Match these items with their correct Fair prices: Items: One Adult Ticket to the Fair, Parking, Indian Taco, Pizza on a Stick, Jug of Root Beer, Deep Fried Twinkee, 20oz Coke Prices: $3, $4, $5, $5, $7, $8, $8

As a kid I was, and to a certain extent still am, fascinated by movie special effects. Back then, the only thing neater to me than seeing a spaceship zoom across a movie screen was discovering exactly HOW those effects were achieved. Back in the late 70s and early 80s, it seems like every blockbuster movie that hit theaters was accompanied by a television special explaining how the special effects were achieved. I guess more people were interested in special effects back then. I can remember watching sci-fi and horror films at an early age and wondering exactly how they got some of those shots on film. Kids these days don't wonder about those things any more. "They do it in the computer," Mason says any time I ask how he thinks something was done in a movie. Guy in a giant rubber Godzilla costime? "They did it with the computer." During my mass VHS to DVD project, one of the tapes I wanted to convert was one labeled "MOVIE SPECIALS." Every time one of those special effects-related programs would come on TV, I would record it. This tape has the following specials: SPFX: The Empire Strikes Back: This program documented the making of The Empire Strikes Back. It aired in 1980 and was released on VHS tape in 1982. As far as I can tell it is not included in any of the extras on any of the Star Wars DVDs released in the US. There are no copies for sale on eBay. Great Movie Stunts: Raiders of the Lost Ark: This program explained how many of the stunts were performed in the first Indiana Jones film, and also showed a lot of clips of classic stuntmen in action. I don't know why this wasn't included on the Indiana Jones DVD box set, but it's not. There are copies available on eBay for less than five bucks, including shipping. Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Monsters: This TV special (which probably aired around Halloween one year) is a program that covers everything from movie monsters to "real" monsters (Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, etc.) I loved this special as a kid. A Google search turns up only three relevant hits (the rest are about a book with the same name). This program isn't even listed in the IMDB. I think Mason will really enjoy this one, so I'm glad I'm still have it. The Making of Superman: The Movie: This behind the scenes look at the first Superman movie is also included on the Superman Deluxe DVD Box Set. I don't know that; I bought the movie before they released the box set, so no special for me ... until now! Classic Creatures: Return of the Jedi: Another awesome special effects-related program, this one focusing on the creatures in Return of the Jedi. Again, no DVD release, but I believe it was released on VHS a couple decades ago. As someone on IMDB noted, as this documentary has long sections about parts of the movie that have since been cut out of the re-releases (Sy Snoodles), it's fairly unlikely that this will ever see a DVD release. I'm looking forward to watching a few of these with Mason (especially the Monsters one) and seeing if he likes them as much as I did.

Yesterday while at work, Susan called me to relay that "the school called, Mason's sick and you need to go pick him up." The clock on my computer read 2:42pm; I usually leave at 3pm. It took me five or ten minutes to pack everything up, walk out to my car and hit the road. I got to Mason's school about 3:15pm or so and walked in to the office. "I'm here to pick up my kid who is so deathly ill that he cannot stay here another fifteen minutes until school is over," I announced. Mason, who looked pretty far from deathly ill, was waiting in the office for me. I excepted to sign some paperwork or at least have my ID checked when leaving with a kid, but instead the secretary (whom I've never met) simply smiled as Mason and I walked out together. The latest home project I tackled was replacing the light fixture in the kitchen. Susan thought the old one looked cheap so she bought a new one which has been sitting in the box in our kitchen for over six months. The packaged instructions were the same quality of every desk, chair and set of shelves I've ever assembled. The paper basically read, "put the thing together according to the diagram and don't get shocked doing it." Of the 10 or so steps, at least seven of them were about avoiding getting shocked. I read the instructions a couple dozen times and they never did make sense so finally I just pulled the old one apart, looked at everything, and put the new one in place. Of course the fixture's wires run straight up the middle of everything so after assembling the entire thing you realize that the wires are not through the center and now you have to take the entire thing back down, run the wires up the middle and start all over. The end result after two hours of work is a light fixture that to me looks strikingly like the other one but I'm told this one isn't ugly and the other one was so what do I know. Today, Susan is throwing a baby/wedding/something shower for one of her high school friends. While Mason plays Xbox (he's tired of the Wii right now for some reason) and Morgan naps, I'm working on yet another project -- converting videotapes to DVDs. It's one of those time consuming projects that you never seem to get around to. One of these days I may spring for one of those dual DVD/VCR units that does everything automatically. Instead, the way I am currently doing it involves hooking up a VCR to my computer via a capture card and recording the video that way. Just to give you an idea, for a 60 minute video, the first step is to play the tape into the computer and record it (which takes 60 minutes, obviously). Then I'll need to render that video as an MPEG to save on the computer -- that will take another 60 minutes. At that point, If I want to make a DVD out of it it'll take me another hour or so. As you can see, it's a pretty lengthy process. It doesn't require a lot of skill or hands-on work (most of the process is waiting for one to end so the next one can start) and on top of that it ties up your computer for hours at a time. While I'm sure I won't do every old videotape we used to own, I do want to do all the irreplacable ones.

Today, for the first time, I am updating my blog while using Ubuntu. 3/4 of you are probably saying, "what took you so long?" while the rest of you are wondering what Ubuntu is. Ubuntu is a graphical, Linux-based operating system. It's also completely free -- and not only is it free, but it comes with a complete suite of free utilities and applications, such as Gimp (similar to Photoshop), OpenOffice (similar to Microsoft Office) and of course an Internet browswer and e-mail software. While I've just barely scratched the surface, so far Ubuntu handles exactly like Windows, making switching intuitive. Left-clicking/right-clicking on the mouse does what you would expect it to do; the keyboard shortcuts I'm familiar with work here as well. Things have different names ("notepad" is now "gedit"), but essentially everything is "different, yet same." The disadvantages of running Linux, other than my own incompetence, is that most us us don't live in a Linux world. It's like my dad used to say about old modems. "There were two kinds of modems: Hayes, and Hayes compatible." Right now, and for a long time coming I assume, I'll be in "Windows compatible" mode. I know what I need to do, I know how to do it in Windows, and now I'll need to figure out how to do it in Ubuntu. As a fan of DOS batch files and VB Script I'm looking forward to the powerful command line hiding under this sleek GUI. So why switch to Linux? So far, I've heard four reasons. The first is because of its image. People thing Linux is "cool." The second reason is because Linux does things that Windows can't do. The third reason is because it's free. The fourth reason (and the one I've heard the most about) is because Windows/Microsoft sucks. That being said, why doesn't everybody switch to Linux? Well, for one, most people have an awful lot of Windows-based programs that aren't going to natively run. There's a learning curve associated with switching to anything, and to be honest, the status quo generally prevails in things like this. Even though there are thousands of exploits and bugs associated with Internet Explorer, guess what -- I run it, because that's what comes with Windows and that's the icon that was placed there for me to use. Switching to another browser would be quick, painless, and free, but every time I load a new machine Internet Explorer is there waiting for me, so that's what I always revert back to. Will I replace my main machine at home with Ubuntu? I'm not sure yet. Right now I'll keep this test box around until I feel a little more comfortable with day-to-day activities. Baby steps, and all that.

Now that I'm picking Mason up from school every day at 3:30pm, he and I have two and a half hours every day together before Susan and Morgan get home from work/school. Figuring out what to do with that time has been an interesting process. Our first week, we wasted the time. After school we'd rush home, he'd jump on either the Wii or the Xbox, and I'd jump on the computer. The second week, we decided to start going places. We went to a couple of different parks, on a few motorcycle and golf kart rides, and so on. That was a better use of our time, but I still felt like we weren't making the best use of the time. My new goal for the past month has been to turn over a leaf and start getting more things done, so starting this week Mason and I have begun working on projects together. Last week Susan complained that the kids' books are out of control. We have books in the entertainment center, in a basket (that has things stacked on top of it so you can't even open it), and under the coffee table. Over the weekend I came up with the idea of getting a bookshelf for the small alcove by the stairwell. Monday, on the way home from work, Mason and I stopped by the store and picked up some white shelves that would match that area of the house. We both worked on assembling the shelves; Mason helped with some of the hammering and screwing. Once they were finished we moved them into place and we spent the rest of our time collecting all the books in the living room and putting them on our new shelves. Boy was mommy surprised! Tuesday, Mason and I fixed our fence. We've had two slats missing from one of the front panels for over a month now. Susan picked up the slats several weeks ago but I never got around to replacing them because they needed to be sawed down a bit to fit. Tuesday, I trimmed the boards down and then Mason held them in place while I screwed them into the fence. Another success! I'm not going to put the boy to work every day; today I think we may just get a couple of Cokes and head over to one of the parks he enjoys playing in. I like to mix it up a bit. I hope he remembers doing these little projects together.

NEW YORK - The NFL is looking into claims a New England Patriots employee was videotaping signals by Jets coaches on New York’s sideline during the season opener. The investigation was first reported by ESPN.com, which said that NFL security confiscated a video camera and tape from a Patriots employee during New England’s 38-14 victory Sunday. The employee was accused of aiming his camera at the Jets’ defensive coaches, who were sending signals out to the players, sources told the Web site. “The rule is that no video recording devices of any kind are permitted to be in use in the coaches’ booth, on the field, or in the locker room during the game,” the league said in a statement from spokesman Greg Aiello. “Clubs have specifically been reminded in the past that the videotaping of an opponent’s offensive or defensive signals on the sidelines is prohibited. (LINK) You know, I like this story. I like the whole idea of it. I like the concept of high-tech espionage invading the world of professional sports. I've never played a professional sport, but I know that the game that takes place on the field/court is just one aspect of the game. I know that coaches watch extensive amounts of footage of their upcoming opponents. Lawrence Taylor once claimed that he had sent hookers to his opponents' hotel rooms prior to big games. These are things that take place off the field, but can give a team a significant advantage during a game and affect the outcome. I'd always assumed NFL teams were watching each other's sidelines. Why wouldn't they? Football is more than just a battle of brute strength; if it were, there would just be one play ("Run it up the middle again!") In reality, football is like a chess game. It's about calling the right play at the right time when the wrong defender is covering the wrong guy. It's a mental battle, and in a mental battle I say use every tool at your disposal. Next year I want to read about NFL teams hiring hackers to break into opponents' computers and steal their playbook data.

For as long as there have been personal computers, personal computer owners have been making illegal copies of software, and software companies have been trying to deter them from doing so. Throughout the past three decades, there have been four major categories of copy protection. Three of those include asking people nicely not to copy your software, software-based protection (something within the program or on the media itself that physically prevents the user from making copies), and hardware-based protection or dongles (something that physically plugs into the computer and is required to be present for the program to run). The fourth type of copy protection, which used to be fairly common, was what I used to call pack-in protection. In this type of protection, the pack-in consisted of something physically included within the box, like a manual, map, or codewheel. When the game was run, it would ask the user to refer to one of those items and answer a question. If the user got the question wrong, games would typically do one of two things. The nicer ones would refuse to run. The more diabolical ones would alter the game in some fashion, making gameplay either extremely difficult or impossible. For example, the manual in Police Quest explained "proper police procedure" for driving a car. Without completing a specific set of actions before driving your police vehicle, you would be killed. The only way to learn that procedure was to read the manual. The most common type of pack-in copy protection was the manual check. The manual check asked the user to provide a specific word from the manual. "What is the third word on line five of page seven?" The user then had a few chances to guess the word. The second most common type of pack-in copy protection was the code wheel. Code wheels involved two paper discs fastened in the middle so that the top one could rotate over the bottom one. With a code wheel, a program would provide you with two pieces of information, one from the bottom wheel and one from the top; when the two bits were aligned, a third piece of information would be revealed. This is the information that would be entered back into the program. Manual-based copy protection could be defeated pretty easily using some pretty low tech methods. The first involved getting someone with good typing skills (and no social life) to simply type in the manual. The manual, in plain text format, would be circulated alongside the game. With that file, finding a specific word from a specific line on a specific page was a piece of cake. If you couldn't talk anyone into that, then perhaps you could talk one of your parents into photocopying the manual at his or her place of work. Copying codewheels, on the other hand, became a bit of a cat and mouse game between developers and pirates. Many of the early codewheels used removable brads to attach the two paper discs together. By removing the disc you could easily separate the two wheels and get mom or dad (or the local librarian) to copy the two pieces of paper for you. Cut out the disks, reattach them with another paper brad, and presto -- instant codewheel! This technique didn't work for long. Quickly, removable brads were replaced by affixed ones. This meant not only did you have to find somebody who had paid money for the game, but you had to now also talk them into letting them destroy their codewheel. Unlikely, but it happened. Before long, game makers began making their codewheels even more difficult to copy. I remember one that was covered in light blue ink on colored paper (which was really difficult for most Xerox copiers to duplicate back then), with colored answers that had to be revealed by looking through the codewheel through a red piece of plastic film. Eventually pirates decided simply typing in every question and answer on the wheel was a simpler solution, so that's what they began to do. All the possible combinations on the wheel would be typed into a text file and included with the game. The last generation of codewheels began using non-ASCII characters. Pools of Radiance, for example, used "runes" on its codewheel. There was no easy way to type these runes into a plain text file. The Secret of Monkey Island included a codewheel that involved lining up pirates' faces. These codewheels could only be duplicated with the use of one piece of equipment: a number two pencil. While cleaning out some drawers out in the garage earlier today I found a folder of old Commodore papers. In that folder was my old Pools of Radiance codewheel, which I had complete drawn by hand using a pencil. A friend of mine had bought the game and, with no other way to make a copy of it, I spent a couple of afternoon periods coping each rune onto striped loose leaf paper, and marking where the cutouts would go. While the homemade codewheel resembles something an eight grader made by hand, that's because it is. And it worked. Never underestimate the simplest solutions. Years of complaints from legitimate game owners who felt they were being hassled combined with the influx of home computer scanners (which made copying codewheels trivial) finally put an end to this type of copy protection. All hail the number 2 pencil.

What began as loose dinner plans blossomed into a reunion of sorts. Last night at Sophabella's Susan and I had dinner with Andy and his wife Lea, Jeff and his wife Heather, and Scott and his girlfriend Dana. To give you an idea of the history sitting around that table, I met Andy when I was 4 years old, Scott when I was 6, and Jeff when I was 12. That means I've known all of them at least 20 years, and Andy for 30. The last time the four of us were in the same room was at Andy's bachelor party earlier this year; I couldn't tell you when the last time was before that. What's crazy is, the four of us live less than five miles from one another. It's not distance that keeps these get togethers from happening -- it's jobs, and kids, and schedules, and logistics. Fortunately for all of us things fell into place last night and I think I can speak for everybody when I say that we all had a good time. We made a pact last night to do this more often, and I plan on making sure that happens.

Not to try and talk you out of your plan, but there are sticks that are made to be switched and can be swapped on the fly. http://groovygamegear.com/webstore/index.p...products_id=195 I've been meaning to pick up a pair of these for my own cabinet. Maybe next payday.

Oh man, that's super cool -- thanks for sharing! That card certainly brings back memories.

Today I'm releasing my program eCoder Ring to the world. Although the current release is still branded as a beta, I have fixed all the bugs I can find and am now releasing it into the wild for the world to play with. Any final bugs caught will be fixed and rolled into a 1.0 release. eCoder Ring is a digital version of the old plastic decoder rings that used to come in cereal boxes, with many new features added to actually make your secret, encoded messages secure. Using a key file that you supply (any local text file or any text file, website, or graphic file hosted on the Internet), eCoder Ring will convert your message into a series of numbers. Those numbers can then be sent to a friend who can later decode your secret message, only if he or she knows the location of the key file! Unlike those old plastic decoder rings, eCoder Ring includes variables such as start, shift, skip and XOR flip to further modify your secret code. This program was designed to be easy enough for anyone from school age children to grandparents to be able to use it, but if done correctly, the secret messages created with eCoder Ring should be very, very difficult to crack (definitely safe from parents, co-workers and principals, perhaps less safe from "various three letter agencies")/ eCoder Ring is free to download from my new software section: http://www.robohara.com/software.

I am currently working on a FAQ about writing a book and self-publishing that book through Lulu.com. If you have any questions about any aspect of writing a book, please post them here or e-mail them to me so I can add them into what I've already compiled.

Not that long ago I was raving about how great it was to have a McDonald's just outside our neighborhood, and how great the service was. The location is very convenient; if I go west coming out of my neighborhood in the morning, the McDonald's on Mustang Road is right between my neighborhood and the interstate. With a 24 Hour drive-thru, it's one of the few places I can grab breakfast on the way to work at 5:30am. Unfortunately, things seem to be going downhill. I would say my order has been wrong at least five of my past ten visits. Usually, it's the drink. Although I always order the same thing (large Diet Coke) there's no telling what I'll actually get. Sometimes it's regular Coke (which now tastes horrible to me). Sometimes it'll be a Diet Coke with no carbonation; once it was a Diet Coke with no (or very little) syrup. And it's not like I'm digging back ten years for examples, this happens pretty much every other day. My three options are to sit at the drive-thru window, open a straw, take a drink, and ask them to fix it before I drive off (which isn't going to happen), to quit ordering drinks and just buy one when I get to work (which I am starting to do), or order a drink, take my chances, and gripe about it on the Internet when they screw it up (which I am doing right now). Currently this location has a better ratio for getting my food right, but just barely. I guess early in the morning not enough people come through drive-thru to justify having someone planted at the drive-thru window, so instead when you pull up to order you have to wait and then someone takes your order who is obviously not standing at a register. This leads to the inevitable "I'll have your total at the window," which translates to, "I have your order in my head and there's no way I'm going to remember all of it, even if you only ordered two items." This morning they screwed this up: two sausage biscuts for $2, and a large Diet Coke. I got one sausage biscuit and a flat Diet Coke. That's one for three, folks. I don't know if this is how they really do business, but it seems like they brought in a good, friendly crew and worked really hard to get people to start visiting this new location -- and now that they have regular customers, the good, friendly crew has moved on to another location, leaving behind a bunch of people only half-interested in doing a good job. I see a wave of breakfast Hot Pockets and Pop Tarts in my future.

What do you get the guy who has everything? This is a problem my father and I run into buying gifts for each other every year. While neither of us are rolling in cash, we both have a tendency to buy the things we want, leaving few gift ideas for each other when holidays roll around. The end result is, we often end up buying each other really unique gifts. For my birthday this year, dad bought me a YourBell. One thing I can definitely say is ... I definitely didn't have one already! The YourBell, from BCS Ideas, is a replacement doorbell that plays MP3s (or WAV files) whenever someone rings your doorbell. YourBell retails for less than $100, comes in a variety of woods and stains, and easily connects to your pre-existing wiring. Connecting the YourBell couldn't be simpler. If you already have at least three wires going to your current door chime, you'll be in business. Wiring diagrams and examples for almost any type of installation are included on the packaged CD. And, if you run into any kind of weird wiring issues (like I did), simply e-mail the company's support e-mail address (again, locaed on the CD as well as the BCS website). Within 24 hours (over a holiday weekend) I received a response, more documentation, and the engineer's home phone number if I needed more support. Talk about service! Sound files are loaded onto the YourBell using an included program and USB cable. The software defaults into a wizard mode that walks you through the four or so steps to loading sounds on to your YourBell. If you load more than one sound, the YourBell will cycle through them one at a time. The documentation says that the YourBell holds "about four minutes worth of music." The CD also contains freeware audio editing tools and a CD ripper, but I can't imagine anyone buying an MP3-playing doorbell who doesn't already own such programs. The installtion of the tools is optional so I'm not complaining. The wiring from your wall connects to a small plug which itself plugs into the YourBell. The YourBell hangs on the wall like a picture frame, so removing it is a simple matter of disconnecting the rear plug and removing it from the wall. If you're like me you'll probably be reflashing songs on the thing on a weekly basis, so its nice to be able to easily remove the unit from the wall. For our test run, my son chose Ghostbusters as our doorbell. Minutes later, cooler heads prevailed -- now the unit blares the chorus from Michael Jackson's "Beat It" whenever someone rings our bell. Runners up included Men At Work's "Who Can It Be Now?", Guns and Roses' "Knockin' on Heaven's Door," and that annoying disco song, "Knock on Wood." So for that technology-lovin' guy in your life who has everything (or for yourself!), I highly recommend the YourBell. Great concept, great product, great technical support. And I guarantee the person you're about to buy one for doesn't have one already. Link: http://bcsideas.com/yourbell.htm