Flack

Yesterday afternoon the final third of my Vegas adventures officially began. Around 5pm I checked in at the Defcon registration desk and received my badge and a handful of show-related materials. Most everyone’s badges are white with LEDs on the front of them; speaker badges are blue, and quite noticeable. I caught quite a few people staring at mine, wondering if I was someone important or not. After registering for the con I drove over to the 4th annual Toxic BBQ, a pre-Defcon cookout. At the cookout I met Kemikal and Smack, both fellow cDc Ninja Strike Force members. We didn’t bring anything to the BBQ and when we got there we discovered an ice shortage. I immediately hopped back in the truck, drove down to Circle K and bought 10 bags of ice. Everybody there was super nice and we all shared burgers and beers for a couple of hours. Unsurprisingly, the large (200 people, give or take) congregation of guys in black t-shirts and baseball caps did not go unnoticed by the local authorities. Local police showed up around 8pm and gave us half an hour to disperse. Friday morning at 10am, Defcon officially kicked off. The conference itself is overwhelming. The main hall reminded me of the club from the movie Hackers. The walls were lined with projected images of computer screens and video mixes. Every room is filled with loud, thumping music. And then there are the hackers of all shapes and sizes. I’ve seen more Mohawks here at the conference than I’ve seen in a decade back home, and for each one of those I’ve seen guys in suits, shirts … you name it, they’re here. Today (Friday) is the slowest day of the con and there were already thousands of people here. At 3pm Myles Long (cDc), Rad Man (ACiD) and myself gave our presentation on self-publishing. The panel went very well, considering the lack of prep work on all of our parts. I met Myles for the first time around noon today, and Rad Man shortly after that. We filled the entire 50 minute time slot and then moved to the Question and Answer room, where several people from the crowd came and asked more detailed questions. I would guess there were somewhere around a hundred or so people in the audience and several of them came up to me throughout the day to ask questions or simply compliment the job we did, so it appeared to be well accepted. Around 6pm I split from the show to go have dinner with some friends. After dinner I hooked up with some of the other cDc and NSF guys who had rented a crazy condo for their stay here in Vegas. After hanging there for a bit we all piled into cars and made our way to the Krave Bar off the strip. One of the cDc guys (Delchi) is a DJ there and they were hosting an official cDc party at the club tonight. I’m not exactly sure what happened but we were there from 10pm until well past midnight and Delchi never showed up. Still, $2 drinks made the time fly by and there were a lot of great conversations and laughs going on. I met so many people that my head is still reeling – it was like a who’s who of the underground in that place. As people began splitting from the Krave to head to the next party I slipping out and back to the hotel. Five or six hours sleep has become the norm, and I’m looking forward to it tonight.

After dropping Dad off at the airport today, my Vegas Adventure is officially two-thirds over. I figured CGE to be the first third, my time with dad the middle third, and Defcon this weekend the final third. As of 2:20pm today, Dad will be aboard a Southwest jet, zooming back east. I am currently sitting at a small table at a small McDonald's inside the very large Stratosphere Hotel and Casino. It seems weird to talk about the middle third before covering the first, but the time spent with my dad was much less overwhelming so I suppose I'll jot that stuff down and get it out of the way. I picked Dad up from the airport Monday, around 6pm. Earlier that day I dropped two separate friends off at the airport on two separate trips, so I knew my way around the airport pretty well and had no trouble being where I was supposed to be; only problem was, not only was dad not where he was supposed to be, but he didn't know exactly where he was! I think the overwhelming size of the airport gave dad a glimpse at just how large Vegas is. After taking down down Las Vegas Blvd (the strip) we had dinner at Johnny Rocket's. Dad said it may have been the best burger and onion rings he's ever had. From Johnny Rocket's we hit Fremont Street so dad could experience the downtown light show. After parking and making our way through the casino, we arrived within seconds of the show's beginning. Dad enjoyed the show (I'd seen it) and after it was over we began our week-long tradition of losing money at slots and video poker machines. Whee! While leaving Fremont Street we discovered that the elevator we had ridden down on from the parking garage was now out of service. Five flights of stairs later, I picked up dad on the first floor on my way out and the two of us made it back to the hotel. We began Tuesday with breakfast at Denny's. From there we hit the strip. parking at New York, New York and setting out on foot. After cutting through the MGM Grand we ended up at the M&M store, after which we went to GameWorks. GameWorks was pretty impressive; they had a ton of newer machines including three House of the Dead 4 big screen cabinets (along with HOTD2 and HOTD3 cabs) and Mario Kart Racing cabs (4). Around lunchtime we left the strip and drove north to Chicago Style Hot Dogs, which were "okay." After lunch it was time to hit the room for the first of several much-deserved naps. After nappie time Dad and I hit one of several Las Vegas machine gun shops. We didn't shoot one, but we could have emptied two clips for $50. Tempting. After visiting the "World's Largest Souvener Shop" we made our way back down to Planet Hollywood for their buffet, which rivals the Rio's and was $10 cheaper at $23.99/person. The buffet was large as suspected. It's not everyday you can fill your plate with Alaskan King Crab, meatballs, sushi and prime rib. After dinner we made our way through the Planet Hollywood museum which contains lots of autographed movie posters and gold records. Most everything there was for sale, too. An autographed postcard of Abraham Lincoln was on sale for $125k. What a bargain! After Planet Hollywood we swung by the Luxor, but didn't spend much time there as we were both getting pretty tired. We gambled and drank just a little before making it back to the hotel room. We began Wednesday with breakfast at Kady's, one of the restaurants located inside the Riviera. After breakfast we drove back down to Fremont to walk around and gamble a bit. Dad did better on the tables than I did but at some point he lost his digital camera so in the end I came out ahead. After buying a few more things downtown we drove over to the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. I was excited about seeing the memorabilia but 99% of it was hanging on the walls behind people's tables, so I didn't feel like walking around staring at people eating. At 2pm we swung back by the Riviera to use one of their Internet kiosks to print out dad's boarding pass ($5, minimum charge). After that, we decided to drive to California since neither of us have ever been there. 45 minutes later we arrived at Primm, NV and drove a mile or two across the boarder before turning around. I was literally falling asleep on the drive back so we decided to head back to the room and take a nap. After naptime we found Windy City, a Chicago-style restaurant which was much better than the other. Dad and I got a Chicago-style pizza that was as good as any we've ever had in Chicago. After dinner we were looking for some place to hang out off the strip so we ended up at the Big Inning Sports Pub and Pizzaria. Nice place, cheap drinks. We had a couple before hitting the hotel room. Thursday morning we had breakfast at The Egg and I. Another day, another giant meal. By today we were both pretty burnt out on the casinos, so we were looking for cheap stuff to do to kill time. While driving around we ended up at a Classic Car Museum (lame) and the world's largest Harley Davidson dealership (slightly less lame, but not much). I can't think of anything else we did today. I dropped dad off at the airport, drove back to the Stratosphere, came to McDonald's, started typing this, and am now getting ready to go check in to my room. 2/3 down, 1/3 to go.

Here I am, six days into my Vegas adventure without a single blog entry -- how unlike me! However, I do have a legitimate excuse. I forgot my laptop! Susan had to mail the stupid thing to me via Fedex. It's here, I'm here, and now I'm playing bloggy blog catch up. Over the next few days I'll try and recap the trip so far. Topics I'll be covering: - The trip to Vegas - Classic Gaming Expo (CGE) - The CGE Museum - The CGE Auction - Meeting Three Heros At Once - Visiting the Pinball Hall of Fame - CommVEx (Commodore Vegas Expo) - Vegas in General Monday morning my computer friends left and Monday afternoon my dad arrived. The two of us have been hitting Vegas hard. I'll be posting pictures and details of our Vegas adventures together as well. Off to bed now; we've got more adventures awaiting in the morning.

Imagine, if you will, the sounds of an 18th century mental institution -- the screams, the maniacal laughter, door slamming and wall pounding. Coincidently, these were the same sounds that echoed through our house this morning, beginning around 3:30am when Morgan awoke. By the time Morgan had made enough noise to wake Susan up, the living room was a disaster. "She's been up for a while," Sue deduced. Around 5:30am, it was my shift. Morgan was hooping and hollaring so loudly that even I could no longer sleep -- and that's saying something. I entertained myself by surfing the web and playing a few computer games as Morgan did laps around the living room NASCAR-style. By 6:30 or so Mason was up and had joined in the terror as well. The kids have a new (annoying) game they play that involves taking turns screaming at the top of their lungs and then laughing about it. Such shrill voices at high volumes are nearly impossible to take for any length of time. I assure you I could extract any information from the Al Qaeda operative of your choosing by simply putting them in the same room. The sound is as if Yoko Ono has moved into your brain. Unbearable at any time of day; particularly unenjoyable before 7am.

7/26 (Thursday): Icbrkr should arrive from Arkansas around lunchtime. Eat lunch, hit I-40, drive west. 7/27 (Friday): Arrive in Vegas when we get there. Check into hotel. Stretch. Visit Riviera, assist anyone who needs help. 7/28-7/29 (Saturday-Sunday): Classic Gaming Expo! Two days of retrogaming glory. Also during those two days I plan on slinking over to the Commodore Vegas Expo 2007 (AKA CommVEx) at some point in time, and visiting the Pinball Hall of Fame/Museum if at all possible. ** Note: Copies of Commodork: Sordid Tales from a BBS Junkie will be available at the Digital Press table for $15. Like a real-life "Where's Waldo" game, I will sign them if you can find me. 7/30-8/2 (Monday-Thursday): Icbrkr departs, dad arrives. Dad and I plan on spending four days seeing Vegas (his first trip, my third). Possibly Wednesday the two of us may swing over and visit Los Angeles. Details TBD. Dad departs for home Tuesday around 2pm. Tuesday evening I'm hitting the pre-Defcon ToxicBBQ. 8/3-8/5 (Friday-Sunday): Attending Defcon XV. I will be speaking Friday at Defcon from 3pm-4pm along with Myles Long (cDc) and RadMan (ACiD) at Track 5. Please stop by. I will also have copies of Commodork with me at Defcon presumedly on me in some fashion. 8/5-8/6 (Sunday-Monday): Homeward bound ... ** Final call for any suggestions on things to see and do while in Vegas. The free'er the better, although everything will be considered. The current must-do list includes Freemont Street, the Atlantis Water Show, the Mirage Volcano, the Sirens of Treasure Island, the Bellagio Fountains, the lions at MGM and the Hard Rock Hotel. ** I am actively seeking coupons for restaurants and buffets in Las Vegas.

I've told this story around the office a couple of times this week so I might as well share it here. Wednesday night, I took Morgan to McDonald's after work for dinner. She hasn't eaten dinner pretty much every night this week, so I thought I might coax her into eating Wednesday night by first showing her the playground, and then offering to let her play on it as a reward for eating dinner. Of course, the minute she saw the playground she was done with me. Off she went, briefly on to the side of the playground set aside for smaller tykes before throwing caution to the wind and climbing up into the gigantic part intended for bigger kids. For those of you who haven't seen a McDonald's playground recently, they are a far cry from the old playground equipment we grew up with. Gone is, well, anything that could possibly hurt you. The new playground is at least four (kid-sized) stories high. Once your kid is up in there, there's no way to physically extract them. The sides are covered with a tough-plastic netting and the passage ways are too small for people my size to traverse. (Images of Godzilla toppling a skyscraper come to mind.) Eventually Morgan found her way to the top of the play equipment, and which point she began screaming and crying. A couple of parents looked at me like, "is that your kid?" Finally a fellow parent (a woman, mid-20's, much leaner in stature than I) climbed into the structure, commencing a search-and-rescue mission for Morgan. Shortly after she was extracted ... but the fun was just beginning. When I told Morgan it was time to go, she launched into her very first out of control fit. I mean, lying on her back in McDonald's, kicking and screaming, the whole bit. I wish I had brought my camera. It was so cute! Of course, no one else in the restaurant thought it was cute. And neither did I, really. I grabbed my backpack, Morgan's Happy Meal, her shoes, and threw her over my shoulder. I handed Morgan her milk container (lid on) to give her something to carry, if for no other reason than if something was in her hands, at least she would stop hitting me in the head. As we walked out of the store, Morgan was screaming so loudly that people began looking at me like I was kidnapping this child. As I moved through the lobby, one of the three cashiers said something to me that I couldn't make it out as I had a two-year-old screaming in my ear. I stopped and turned to look at the cashiers. And then I felt it. Milk. Morgan had managed to get the lid off her milk container, and as she screamed, "NO DADDY!", she promptly dumped it on my head. The milk (and there was a lot of it) ran through my hair, onto my shirt and down on to the floor. I stood there in horror. So did the cashiers. All I could muster was a sincere, "I'm sorry..." The McCrew reacted swiftly and headed for a mop, obviously having seen similar incidents before. I busted Morgan's cute little ass right there in the lobby. She responded by throwing the plastic milk jug at the door. With two hands full I simply kicked it along until I got to the truck, where I was able to pick it up.

Speaking Engagement: Defcon 15! Defcon is, according to their own website, "The largest underground hacking convention in the world." Last year the convention boasted between 5,000 and 7,000 attendees. This year, I'll be speaking at it. Before you get too excited, I probably won't be speaking in front of thousands or even hundreds of hackers. Defcon has five simultaneous speaking tracks going on throughout the weekend. Additionally, the convention takes place over a three-day weekend, with Friday being the least-attended of the three days. My time slot is Friday at 3pm, on track 5 (which very well may be a broom closet -- we're not sure yet). The Friday time slot is both a blessing and a curse; while I'm afraid a lot of people won't have arrived yet, with our portion of the program out of the way we'll all be able to enjoy the rest of the weekend. Presenting along with me will be Myles Long (member of the infamous Cult of the Dead Cow) and Rad Man (founder of the art group known as ACiD). In the big scheme of things it's a lot like getting to be the third Stooge after Shemp, Curly, Joe Besser and Curly Joe all quit. I'm thrilled to be participating in the group presentation, although I suspect many of the people in attendance will be there to hear anybody but me speak. The name of our presentation/panel is Self Publishing in the Underground. Myles served at the editor of The Book of Cao (Enlighenment through a Poke in the Eye), a collection of Cult of the Dead Cow textfiles. Rad Man released Dark Domain, a DVD collection of ACiD artpacks. I released my first book Commodork: Sordid Tales from a BBS Junkie almost a year ago. Between the three of us we have quite a bit of experience in DIY (do it yourself) publishing. I'm hoping we're able to inspire at least one person to put their thoughts, stories or ideas onto some medium and release them. As with any convention, one of the most enjoyable things for me will be to both put names to aliases of old friends and meet new ones. It should be a terrific opportunity; you can bet I'll have copies of Commodork in tow.

Mason, Susan, Susan's mom Liz and Mason's cousin Dylan are on the road, en route to Orlando. Susan's headed there for training or a meeting or something (I lose track) and the other three went along for fun. Dylan's birthday is Thursday and I know the four of them intend on hitting Disneyworld that evening. Mason is pumped about the trip. I can't wait to hear their stories and see pictures after they get home. For those keeping score, that leaves Morgan at home with me. When both kids are at home I feel like pulling my hair out half the time with all the wrestling ("wallering," as Granny 'Kracken used to way), yelling, running, and fighting. But when I get one-on-one time with either one of them, it's always really enjoyable. Mason and I had a really good mini-road trip last week with just he and I in the car, and this week Morgan and I are already having a good time by ourselves. With that whole "fighting for attention" thing out of the way, we have lots of time left to devote to reading, watching movies, playing at the park, coloring, or whatever. I have to be honest here. I had a third paragraph already typed up here about how much fun I knew Morgan and I were going to have together this week, but so far tonight she's slapped me in the face twice, scratched me on the nose once, and thrown her dinner across the room. That being said, she did ask where bubba and mommy were, and cried when I told her mommy would be gone for four days. Ok, to be honest, we both cried at that point.

Yesterday while having lunch at Panera Bread I noticed a sign hanging in the restroom that read, "to assure the quality of our products, no smoking please." My first thought was, "we are not on a plane." Practically every seat in the dining room is equidistant from both the restroom and the exit. Should one feel the need to light up during lunch, I'm sure most people would actually prefer to step outside on the sidewalk rather than smoke it up in the bathroom. My second, slightly more disgusting thought was, "how exactly is anything I'm doing in the bathroom affecting my (or anyone else's) food?" It's a question I probably don't want answered.

Wednesday marked our second successful voyage north to Springfield, Missouri's 1984 Arcade. This time, several of my online Digital Press/Atari Age friends met me there, including Phosphor Dot Fossils (TheLogBook.com), Icebreaker (Particles.org), Crossbow (OVGE.com), and Gapporin. You aren't a real geek until you have your own domain name. (I have several.) This time Mason made the 300-mile trek with me. I tell ya, that kid's a trooper. His little bladder leaves a little room for improvement but his is growing (and mine's shrinking) so in another year or two we'll be on the rest stop schedule for sure. At some point in time I decided it would be a good idea to drive to and from Springfield on the same day. This poor decision was compounded by a late start. The end result was a five-hour road trip, followed by a four hour stay at the arcade, and a four-hour return drive. (Mason slept.) Before we hit the road Mason and I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up a portable DVD player. I've been wanting one to keep in the truck for a while now. For $119 I got a 9" screen and a DVD player that plays everything from DVDs to CDs to MP3s to JPGs to who knows what else. Mason worked his way through the stack of movies I brought while I drove. The 1984 Arcade was as kick ass as I'd remembered it ... which, seeing as though I was there only a month or two ago, isn't really that surprising. With more of my friends there it felt more like we were hanging out at a friend's place rather than just at some random arcade. It was neat to share gaming stories with fellow nerds, comparing geeky memories about old arcades or old arcade games. It was also fun comparing high scores as well. Ice and Gapporin got into a friendly highscore battle on 1942, while I ended up with the Moon Patrol record for the night. Our visit was over too soon. As much as we all hated to part ways, I knew I was looking at a four-hour road trip ahead of me. With the GPS in the passenger seat, a Vault energy drink in one cup holder and a Diet Coke in the other, Mason and I hit the road around a quarter to 10pm, and pulled into our driveway at exactly 2:30am. Although I made it to work Thursday, Susan told me I "wasn't worth shooting."

1984 Arcade, Round 2 Tomorrow several friends of mine and I are heading back to the 1984 Arcade that I recently visited and reviewed. I'm expecting around a dozen or so of my online friends from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Missouri to show up, and this time Mason's coming along for the ride as well. I know the four-hour trip is going to be long but we'll be heading out right around his naptime and coming home right around his bedtime, so I suspect he'll do quite a bit of sleeping both to and from Springfield. Expect tons of pictures Thursday, of course.

Even though we're already one third of the way through July, we are just now beginning to get a handle on our swimming pool. June was pretty much a lost cause due to the record breaking amounts of rainfall we received here in Oklahoma. That pushed everything back at least one month, maybe two. We will be having mandatory swimming sessions around here through at least the end of October, maybe longer. Saturday morning Becky came down to watch the kids for a bit while Susan and I tackled a few pool-related projects. One thing we completed was the assembly and reattachment of the pool ladder. Previously our ladder was attached to our deck. When the pool people came a few years ago and redid our pool, they moved the hole three feet further away from the deck. Susan temporarily solved this problem by screwing down some 12' planks of wood and attaching the ladder to that, but it was not intended to be a permanent solution, nor was it very safe. We fixed the problem Saturday morning by moving the ladder to other side of the pool, away from the deck. We attached the other half of the ladder by using a jigsaw and cutting it down to size. We then used screws and permanently assembled the ladder together. The other project we worked on was actually getting the pool swimmable. To some people that means getting the water blue, and clear. Really at this point we would settle for "bluish." Once again we are paying the price for not covering our pool. The end result is a giant tub of water with a big pile of leaves and bird crap in the center of it. At some point it becomes obvious that either Susan or myself are going to have to get into the pool with our long-sticked net and fish out the gunk. Later, it becomes obvious that it's going to be me. Fishing out leaves is an interesting experience. While a few of them have actually retained their leafy shape, the majority of them have rotted and turned into a leafish-mush concoction held together by nature's glue, bird poop. The minute you touch the stuff it explodes, turning the close-to-blue water into a big, muddy, stinky mess. I forgot to mention that detail -- it stinks. When the rotten leaves mixed with bird crap hits the air, it stinks. For a couple of hours we fished out leaves and poop until what was left was so miniscule that you have to let it resettle on the bottom of the pool before you can start all over again. My biggest problem with working on the pool is that I don't feel like doing it when it's hot outside, and when it's cold or rainy I'm not interested because who wants to swim when it's cold or rainy? Hopefully between all the filtering, leaf-removing and chemical dumping, the water will eventually approach some shade of blue and allow us a few days, weeks or months of enjoyment before swimming season passes us by.

To paraphrase Johnny Cochran, "If it does not fit, you must get rid of it." I own more clothes that I don't wear than some people own at all. I have an entire closet full of clothes and yet I have trouble finding things to work on a daily basis. Out of boredom and frustration, I grabbed a couple of Hefty trash bags last night and began cleaning out the closet. Anything that met any of the following criteria was evicted: - Things I haven't worn in more than a year. - Things that haven't fit in more than a year. - Things that I can't remember buying or owning. - Things that, even if they did fit, I still wouldn't wear. - Things that went out of style more than 5 years ago. - Things with holes that I was hanging on to. By the time I was done I had two Hefty bags filled with clothes. They're going straight to Goodwill today. I'm not going to deal with selling them at a garage sale and having people haggle with me over $1 price tags or risk negative eBay feedback because a 3x shirt fits like a 2x or something. The close are bagged up and as far as I'm concerned, are gone. Obviously, what remains in the closet are things that fit and things that I wear. Unfortunately the vast majority of our laundry at the moment is dirty; we're way behind on that front and having trouble catching up. With most of my clothes in hampers, dirty clothes piles or laundry baskets, it's kind of hard to actually see just what I do have available to wear. On a semi-related topic, I have really slid downhill with my work wardrobe. The last few times I've been clothes shopping I've been temped by brand new t-shirts. Those red, blue, and black t-shirts always look great in the store, all folded and clean. It's not until I'm getting ready for work the next day that I realize all my new clothes are t-shirts and blue jeans. It's not something I really think about until I look around at work and see everybody else in button-down shirts and khakis. The next time I go clothes shopping I'm going to make an effort to pick out some polos, button-down shirts and khakis in an attempt to raise the bar back up ever-so-slightly.

For the third year in a row, Susan, Mason, Morgan and myself entered a float in the Yukon Fourth of July kids parade. Technically, the first year we didn't make a float; Mason and his cousins dressed up in patriotic-colored clothes and walked through the parade. It wasn't until after the parade when we saw judges handing out medals that we realized it was actually a contest! After that, Susan and I decided that we would enter a winning float every year from now on. In 2006, we built the infamous rocket ship float. The entire ship was made out of cardboard with stickers, stars and duct tape purchased from the dollar store and placed on top of Mason's little red wagon. The float won first place for most creative float in Mason's age range. People absolutely loved the float -- we got a million compliments on it last year. This year marked our second serious entry in the float competition. Since 2007 is Oklahoma's one-hundredth birthday, we decided to make a birthday cake float. The hardest part of the competition is to come up with an idea that no one else will think of, and then to turn that idea into something that will stand out. We got a late start on this year's float. Susan took off work on the 3rd (not specifically to work on the float; it just worked out that way) and began painting the boxes that would eventually become the cake. Susan and Mason went to watch fireworks that night while I stayed home with Morgan. It wasn't until 10:30pm the night before the competition that serious work on the float began. And here is the cake, with me pulling and Granny bringing up the rear. Once again our float was built upon a wagon, with lots of cardboard boxes, duct tape and paint. Susan did a great job on the candle for the top of the cake. The stars were printed out on the computer, cut out by hand and glued to the blue box by Mason and Mommy. I think we went through three or four rolls of duct tape this year. Red, white and blue rolls of duct tape sure come in handy when building 4th of July floats. Aw yeah. Despite the rushed execution of our plan, the judges rewarded Susan's hard work with another round of first place medals, one for each of the kids. Next year? Look out for the three-peat!

Al Gore Joke According to news reports, Al Gore's son "was arrested early Wednesday on suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs after deputies pulled him over for speeding, authorities said. Al Gore III, 24, was driving a blue Toyota Prius about 100 mph on the San Diego Freeway when he was pulled over at about 2:15 a.m., Sheriff's Department spokesman Jim Amormino said. The deputies said they smelled marijuana and searched the car, Amormino said. They found less than an ounce of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall, which is used for attention deficit disorder, he said." I know what you're thinking ... who knew a Toyota Prius could do 100 mph? (I fully expect SNL to come up with this same joke this weekend. Let's see.)

Ten years ago, Susan and I purchased a talking caller ID box. It's one of the greatest inventions ever, and I'm not sure why they didn't completely replace normal called ID boxes. When our phone rings, a pleasant female voice speaks the number aloud, area code first. Whenever a long distance caller is announced, there's a little game I play. If I'm sitting in my lounge chair near my laptop, I'll click on Google whenever I hear the phone begin to ring. At the end of the first ring, the box begins to announce the number. "Four, zero, five ..." During the second ring I'll type the phrase "area code 405" (or whatever area code was just announced) into Google. During the phone's third ring, Google spits back the results. Typically I don't have to click on any of the links; the information should appear somewhere in the first hit or two. That gives me the fourth ring to determine whether or not I know anybody from that area code, and if I should pick up the phone. Neo: Do you know how to fly one of these things? Trinity: Not yet ...

I just made my reservations -- see you all there!

Earlier this month, our kids' daycare scheduled a field trip to the Oklahoma City Zoo. The trip got postponed due to rain. Two weeks ago (on the rescheduled date) the trip was again postponed due to rain. I don't know if you realize this, but it's June. In Oklahoma. Last year we had week long stretches of triple-digit temperatures. Today, we broke a record for the most days in a row for precipitation -- 16 days. The previous record was 14 days, set back in 1937. This morning (with rain pouring down) the daycare decided to try it one more time. The kids were loaded into a van and driven to the zoo, with Susan (one of the parent chaperones) trailing in her van. Right around I-40 and Agnew Susan had a blowout. It appears that part of the rim actually broke off (Susan thinks it was shot, everyone else thinks it's pretty funny that she thinks that). She called me, I grabbed Johnny and Emily, and the three of us set out in the down pour (again, it's JUNE) to rescue her. By the time we found her, two very nice city workers (with raincoats, unlike ourselves) had stopped and helped Sue finish changing the tire. Susan was completely drenched -- it looked like she had been swimming in her clothes -- and got back in the van just in time to receive the phone call that the zoo trip had been cancelled again, due to rain. The van full of kids were all on their way back to the daycare. Five hours later, Susan's still at Wal-Mart getting tires. My shirt's still wet. What a morning.

There are two events taking place this summer in Vegas that I would like to attend. The first is Classic Gaming Expo, or simply CGE. CGE is "the world's first and largest event paying tribute to the people, systems and games of yesteryear." If you are into old videogames or computers at all, and I am, this is THE show to attend. The second is Defcon, the yearly Las Vegas-based hacker convention. Choosing between these two events has been extremely difficult. I am involved in both communities. Both events take place at the same location, the Riviera, one week apart. I have a pair of passes to both events. After much struggling, I recently made the decision to attend BOTH events. So why am I not happy about it? 01. I already know that I am going to feel guilty and depressed for being away from my family for 11 days. I can tell myself that I won't feel that way but I know that I will. Last year when Susan took the kids on one vacation and I went on another, I was miserable. I missed her and the kids greatly -- and that was only a five day trip. I'm not worried about the times when I'll be at the conventions, hanging out with friends and having a good time. I'm more worried about the time in between the conventions, the long stretches I'll have nothing to do and no one to hang out with. And by worried I don't mean "fling myself off the top of the Stratosphere" type of worried ... I just mean I know I'm going to be in the dumps and I'm not looking forward to it. 02. Financially and logistically, what makes the most sense is to travel out for the first convention and then stay through the second convention. This is actually cheaper than making two trips, either flying or driving. This brings me to the dreaded third point. 03. I'm driving. I'm not happy about it. I wish I could fly. I wish I could get anywhere near an airplane and not panic. Can this be overcome eventually? Yes. Is it going to happen within the next four weeks? No. I'm going to drive 1,100 miles each way, kicking myself the entire duration of the trip. Driving to Las Vegas won't be that bad. Driving home will be miserable. I'm currently working on a deal that will get my dad out to Vegas for a few days during my visit. He's never been before and I think everyone should go at least once. Hopefully that will take away some of the "boredom dread" I'm currently experiencing. And speaking of that, I'm brainstorming things to do in Vegas to kill the time -- things to see, places to visit, etc. My bank account can't handle 11 days of boredom in the gambling capital of the country. Susan has suggested going to Los Angeles. I might hole up and finish writing one of my books. I haven't decided yet. If you have ideas for Vegas activities, I'm all ears.

Ok, so it only took me two weeks to do what every twelve-year-old can do in minutes. Here is the long-promised video of Mason performing two magic tricks in the 2007 Shedeck Talent Show. The entire video is 3 minutes long. Just listen to that applause!

Although Morgan's birthday isn't offiically for another four days, somehow her birthday party got bumped up to this weekend. For her second birthday we opted for the "free birthday party in the park" theme. While that may or may not sound very exciting, the kids had a good time and it served its purpose. We didn't start inviting friends (other than family members) to Mason's birthday parties until he was three, so I'm sure next year she'll have a big to-do. This year we got everybody together around 10am, before it got hot. For the second half of Morgan's birthday, the kids, Susan and I went to a new water park just a few miles away from our house. I think they call these things "spray parks" now. They seem to be replacing community pools with these water parks for several reasons: they don't need to be manned, you can't drown in one, the water turns off if you don't continually press a button, etc. Originally I wasn't going to ride along but when Susan told me what part of town it was in I decided to go so that someone could keep an eye on our car at all times. Fortunately for the half hour or so we were there we were the only people there. When low riders with thumping sound systems began pulling in, we pulled out. If you'd like to see all 50 or so pictures I took throughout the day, click here.

In downtown Springfield, Missouri directly across from the YMCA lies the 1984 Arcade. On Wednesday, June 20th, my friend The Stranger and I drove from Oklahoma City to Springfield to visit this tribute to the classic arcades of the 1980's. The 1984 Arcade opened its doors in 2005, and boasts anywhere from 50-60 classic arcade games on the floor at any given time. The journey begins. We were greeted at the front door by a friendly young lady who explained to us how everything worked. Admission is $5, which includes unlimited plays on every arcade game. Blue credit buttons have been added to the front of each cabinet; pressing the button adds credits to the machine. The only games not included in this deal are the pinball machines, which still cost patrons one quarter per play. The arcade is decorated with classic retro stylings -- vintage movie posters, t-shirts, and arcade-inspired decorations from glow-in-the-dark Space Invaders to a giant, wall-mounted Ms. Pac-Man. 80's music is constantly in rotation while music videos of the 80's are displayed on various televisions throughout the arcade. It's almost enough to make you think you've travelled back in time to the 1980's, except back then I don't remember any arcades being quite this nice! My head as a power pellet. The 1984 Arcade is divided up into three separate rooms. The middle room (where visitors enter) has the most games. The room off to the left has more games, along with bar-height tables and chairs. The room to the right has even more games, a snack bar, and even a coffee bar ("Sinistarbucks." Cute.) Each of the three rooms had small areas to sit and rest (if you were there with kids, for example). One area had an Atari Flashback hooked up for playing Atari games; another lounge area had an all-in-one Pac-Man joystick game connected to a projector which projected your game on to the front window. Neat idea! I Thirst. But enough about the decor; let's talk about games! The 1984 Arcade is stocked, baby. Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Galaga, Space Invaders, Battlezone, Asteroids, Centipede, Missile Command, Moon Patrol, Zaxxon, Gorf, Dig Dug, Frogger, Gauntlet 1 and 2, TRON ... their collection of machines reads like a who's who list of classic games. While no arcade will ever have ever game every patron is hoping to find, 1984's lineup will leave very few visitors disappointed. The list of games the arcade owns hasn't been updated in over a year, so if your happiness depends on one specific game being present and operational, I'd call first. That being said, I found the selection not only incredibly diverse but also noticably lacking in "fluff" games (SNK's P.O.W. was probably the only one I wouldn't consider a classic) and there wasn't a single game there I hadn't heard of before. Line of classics. Of the approximately 60 games on hand, only two were broken (Turbo and Gyruss). The condition of each game was surprisingly nice. Many of the games had new joysticks, and the cabinets (including the control panels) were all in outstanding shape. In fact, all but a couple (noticably Burgertime ) were in their original cabinets. There's something about seeing the spray-painted stencils on the side of a Moon Patrol cabinet or the wood-grain stickers on an original Pong machine that makes the whole experience that much cooler. These are the details that are lost when playing MAME. There is no feeling quite like standing in front of a TRON cabinet, black lights glowing brightly. Games like Karate Champ with its dual-joystick control system, Tempest with its spinner or Battlezone's tank controls simply don't feel the same when played on a keyboard in front of a PC. This was already old school in 1984. One really neat thing about 1984 is the "high score wall," where mini versions of each game's marquees are on display along with the all-time high score from each game. Beat the score and you'll have your initials and score immortalized in black marker (until someone comes along and breaks it). In fact, within thirty minutes of our arrival The Stranger demolished the standing Burgertime record of 79,000 with his own of 189,000. Chomp on that burger, 1984! For his efforts, The Stranger walked away with a button and a free pass for our next visit. And, oh yes, there will be another visit. I, unfortunately, was not as lucky in my quest to break a high score. Even on games that I previously thought I was good at (Shinobi, Moon Patrol, Dig Dug) I was rarely able to achieve 1/10th the posted high score. Back to arcade training camp for me. That's not a mirror. Gauntlet and Gauntlet II. Summary: Anyone even remotely interested in classic arcade games should check out the 1984 Arcade. The Stranger and I drove 300 miles each way to visit the arcade and both felt the trip was entirely worth it. The staff was incredibly friendly and we chatted several times about the arcade. Pinball wizard. There has to be a twist. Notes: - Hours and Attendance: 1984 Arcade is open 4pm-11pm, Wednesday-Saturday. On the Wednesday we attended, there were a total of 10 people (including the two of us) throughout a four-hour span. Wednesdays and Thursdays are the arcade's slow days, while Friday and Saturdays are busier. If you're looking for a quiet, less crowded experience, visit during the week. If you're looking for a party, try the weekend. Also, for the record: you must be at least 16 or accompanied by a parent; no smoking, and no drinking. We found these rules to be a big plus. - Parking: as the arcade is located downtown, parking, especially on the weekends could be a problem. Fortunately we were able to parallel park almost directly in front of the arcade, but I could potentially see parking far away during peak hours. - Pinball: During our visit, four of the arcade's six pinball tables were inoperable. Neither of us are big pinball players and as such this didn't affect our visit in the slightest. That being said, if you're planning on a lengthy road trip in order to go play pinball, you might call or e-mail in advance. - Why are you still reading this and not driving toward Springfield, Missouri right now??? Link: http://www.1984arcade.com

(Reposted from my blog.) In downtown Springfield, Missouri directly across from the YMCA lies the 1984 Arcade. On Wednesday, June 20th, my friend The Stranger and I drove from Oklahoma City to Springfield to visit this tribute to the classic arcades of the 1980's. The 1984 Arcade opened its doors in 2005, and boasts anywhere from 50-60 classic arcade games on the floor at any given time. The journey begins. We were greeted at the front door by a friendly young lady who explained to us how everything worked. Admission is $5, which includes unlimited plays on every arcade game. Blue credit buttons have been added to the front of each cabinet; pressing the button adds credits to the machine. The only games not included in this deal are the pinball machines, which still cost patrons one quarter per play. The arcade is decorated with classic retro stylings -- vintage movie posters, t-shirts, and arcade-inspired decorations from glow-in-the-dark Space Invaders to a giant, wall-mounted Ms. Pac-Man. 80's music is constantly in rotation while music videos of the 80's are displayed on various televisions throughout the arcade. It's almost enough to make you think you've travelled back in time to the 1980's, except back then I don't remember any arcades being quite this nice! My head as a power pellet. The 1984 Arcade is divided up into three separate rooms. The middle room (where visitors enter) has the most games. The room off to the left has more games, along with bar-height tables and chairs. The room to the right has even more games, a snack bar, and even a coffee bar ("Sinistarbucks." Cute.) Each of the three rooms had small areas to sit and rest (if you were there with kids, for example). One area had an Atari Flashback hooked up for playing Atari games; another lounge area had an all-in-one Pac-Man joystick game connected to a projector which projected your game on to the front window. Neat idea! I Thirst. But enough about the decor; let's talk about games! The 1984 Arcade is stocked, baby. Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Galaga, Space Invaders, Battlezone, Asteroids, Centipede, Missile Command, Moon Patrol, Zaxxon, Gorf, Dig Dug, Frogger, Gauntlet 1 and 2, TRON ... their collection of machines reads like a who's who list of classic games. While no arcade will ever have ever game every patron is hoping to find, 1984's lineup will leave very few visitors disappointed. The list of games the arcade owns hasn't been updated in over a year, so if your happiness depends on one specific game being present and operational, I'd call first. That being said, I found the selection not only incredibly diverse but also noticably lacking in "fluff" games (SNK's P.O.W. was probably the only one I wouldn't consider a classic) and there wasn't a single game there I hadn't heard of before. Line of classics. Of the approximately 60 games on hand, only two were broken (Turbo and Gyruss). The condition of each game was surprisingly nice. Many of the games had new joysticks, and the cabinets (including the control panels) were all in outstanding shape. In fact, all but a couple (noticably Burgertime ) were in their original cabinets. There's something about seeing the spray-painted stencils on the side of a Moon Patrol cabinet or the wood-grain stickers on an original Pong machine that makes the whole experience that much cooler. These are the details that are lost when playing MAME. There is no feeling quite like standing in front of a TRON cabinet, black lights glowing brightly. Games like Karate Champ with its dual-joystick control system, Tempest with its spinner or Battlezone's tank controls simply don't feel the same when played on a keyboard in front of a PC. This was already old school in 1984. One really neat thing about 1984 is the "high score wall," where mini versions of each game's marquees are on display along with the all-time high score from each game. Beat the score and you'll have your initials and score immortalized in black marker (until someone comes along and breaks it). In fact, within thirty minutes of our arrival The Stranger demolished the standing Burgertime record of 79,000 with his own of 189,000. Chomp on that burger, 1984! For his efforts, The Stranger walked away with a button and a free pass for our next visit. And, oh yes, there will be another visit. I, unfortunately, was not as lucky in my quest to break a high score. Even on games that I previously thought I was good at (Shinobi, Moon Patrol, Dig Dug) I was rarely able to achieve 1/10th the posted high score. Back to arcade training camp for me. That's not a mirror. Gauntlet and Gauntlet II. Summary: Anyone even remotely interested in classic arcade games should check out the 1984 Arcade. The Stranger and I drove 300 miles each way to visit the arcade and both felt the trip was entirely worth it. The staff was incredibly friendly and we chatted several times about the arcade. Pinball wizard. There has to be a twist. Notes: - Hours and Attendance: 1984 Arcade is open 4pm-11pm, Wednesday-Saturday. On the Wednesday we attended, there were a total of 10 people (including the two of us) throughout a four-hour span. Wednesdays and Thursdays are the arcade's slow days, while Friday and Saturdays are busier. If you're looking for a quiet, less crowded experience, visit during the week. If you're looking for a party, try the weekend. Also, for the record: you must be at least 16 or accompanied by a parent; no smoking, and no drinking. We found these rules to be a big plus. - Parking: as the arcade is located downtown, parking, especially on the weekends could be a problem. Fortunately we were able to parallel park almost directly in front of the arcade, but I could potentially see parking far away during peak hours. - Pinball: During our visit, four of the arcade's six pinball tables were inoperable. Neither of us are big pinball players and as such this didn't affect our visit in the slightest. That being said, if you're planning on a lengthy road trip in order to go play pinball, you might call or e-mail in advance. - Why are you still reading this and not driving toward Springfield, Missouri right now??? Link: http://www.1984arcade.com

This picture proves two things: one, that my wife and Emily are funnier than I give them credit for, and two, that Starbucks will write down any name you give them on your cup and announce it loudly to the lobby when your purchase is ready. Attention Transformer, your cappuccino is ready!

There comes a time in every man's life where holidays quit revolving around receiving presents and become more about spending time with loved ones. I'm sure for me this change began when I began dating Susan; suddenly, Christmas became less about "what am I going to get" and more about "what great thing can I get for her?" If meeting Susan started me down that path, having kids finished it. That's not to say I don't enjoy or appreciate getting gifts, but the real gift is seeing my family happy and together, two things that not everybody has these days. This year for Father's Day I got to spend not one but two meals with my dad and my family. The first one was at Fire Mountain, where Mason, Morgan and Susan joined me and my dad for breakfast. These days while eating you you never know what mood which kid's going to be in -- today we ended up with "picky eater" Mason and his sister "I don't want to sit down" Morgan -- but we still had a good time. It must've shown, as I was awarded by our waitress with a blue ribbon for being "The #1 Dad," but my win was short-lived when I realized every father in the restaurant had received a ribbon. I demand a recount! For dinner Dad returned, this time with Linda and Griffin. We had intended to cook steaks out on the grill, but over the winter a bird took over our grill and even with the majority of the nest removed a bunch of bird poo remained behind. Instead we broiled the steaks, and they were delicious! Afterwards we had a good time out in the front yard, chasing the kids and playing around before everyone parted. Earlier this week both Mason's and Morgan's classrooms held separate Father's Day parties. At Mason's the theme was Hawaiian, and the kids performed a hula dance in grass skirts and hand-painted shirts before giving us handmade cards (Mason's had a picture of the Nintendo Wii inside it) and celebrating with the traditional Hawaiian meal of soft tacos. In Morgan's class the celebration was shorter, but she also gave me a card she worked on and we shared a bowl of nachos together before I had to go back to work. For my downstairs computer room, Susan and the kids bought me a leather office chair. I don't mean to belittle the chair -- It's a really nice chair, I really needed a chair, and I'm sitting in the chair typing this very moment. But long after I've forgotten the details about who bought me the chair and for what occasion, I'll still remember the handmade cards, cooking steaks, and the time we all got to spend together on Father's Day.