Jump to content

Omega-TI

Banned
  • Posts

    20,537
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    77

Status Updates posted by Omega-TI

  1. I've been told the REAL reason they changed the name of RAP to Hip Hop is because most people with taste kept pronouncing RAP with a C.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. jd_1138
    3. The Usotsuki

      The Usotsuki

      To me, rap may be hip-hop, but hip-hop needn't be rap.

    4. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      Suddenly I have a hankerin' for good old PE.  Perhaps some RUN-DMC.

  2. I remember what it was like when I was a kid, we never wore masks except on Halloween, we walked to school in the snow, and we actually were forced to attend five whole days out of the week!

     

    1. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      Not only did we walk to school in the snow, we walked uphill BOTH ways.

    2. Razzie.P

      Razzie.P

      I often hear the "we walked uphill BOTH ways" thing and have to wonder why they weren't smart enough to just walk back the same way they came.  ☺️

  3. A guy at work bought a book titled "How to Scam People on the Internet".  He says after 6 months he still hasn't received it!

    1. Rogerpoco

      Rogerpoco

      Stealing this one.

  4. Would Steve Jobs have ended up as another anonymous nobody if he had not met and exploited the genius of Steve Wozniak?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. LS650

      LS650

      I suspect that Jobs would have found someone else to latch onto and exploit.

    3. SegaShooters

      SegaShooters

      Steve jobs had HIV when he died

    4. LS650

      LS650

      From wikipedia:

      "Jobs was diagnosed with a pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor in 2003. He died of respiratory arrest related to the tumor at age 56 on October 5, 2011."

       

  5. Have you heard that new band 999 Megabytes?
    They're good, but they don't have a gig yet.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. bluejay

      bluejay

      BUT THE JOKE WOULD WORK SO MUCH BETTER IF THE BAND NAME WAS 1023 MEGABYTES BECAUSE A GIGABYTE IS REALLY 1024 MEGABYTES YOU SEE NOW THAT'S FUNNIER ISN'T IT I THOUGHT SO P.S. I ONLY USE LINUX EXCLUSIVELY

    3. Rogerpoco

      Rogerpoco

      No, they "still" don't have a Gig yet, at 999.

      I think "1023 Megabytes" throws the joke off too early, makes even slightly less than dumb people "think a little more", so you won't get your punchline in properly.

      Just sayin'.

    4. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      I am not affiliated with the RAM or HDD manufacturer.

  6. Why aren't iPhone chargers called Apple Juice?

    1. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      Or maybe iJuice for that matter?  Eww.

    2. KD-0082

      KD-0082

      Because the real "Apple Juice" is...inside your wallet

  7. What do you do after your Nintendo game ends in a tie?  It's simple, ask for a Wii-match!

  8. A wife sent her husband an SMS on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”.   The husband answered back: “Pour some warm water over them”.  Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: “The computer is completely screwed up now”.


     

    1. Swami

      Swami

      This one got ruined for me cuz I thought SMS wuz Sega Master System. I'd like a Sega Master System on a cold winter evening.

  9. If you have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea, it runs in your jeans.

  10. @zetastrike

    How does Moses make his coffee?  Hebrews it.
     

    1. thanatos

      thanatos

      This one might border on a religion post.  :D

  11. What did the pirate say when he turned 80?  Aye Matey!

  12. A Roman Legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please."

    1. D Train

      D Train

      The Classics never go out of style

  13. Someone stole a guys copy of Microsoft Office.  He said, "They're gonna pay, you have my Word on that!"

  14. Why do they lock the bathrooms at gas stations?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

     

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. pacman000

      pacman000

      They're usually in a far-off corner which makes them hard to see from the register. Locking them, in theory, reduces shoplifting, keeps someone from clogging the toilet, vandalizing, etc. 

    3. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      It isn't allowed to install cameras, so they do that to 'inspect' the person entering.  I doubt if you look like a heroin addict, they would hand it to you.  Half the people in gas stations barely speak English, imagine them having to fill out a police report over the dead body in their bathroom.

    4. Rogerpoco

      Rogerpoco

      Oh, leave it to the practical, smart people to ruin our fun...

      :P

  15. If your modern PC could run one program at a time, like a classic computer...

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. pacman000

      pacman000

      On a tablet you can still keep one program open/paused while you do something else, like copy text to paste into a document.

    3. BydoEmpire

      BydoEmpire

      True, but really you're only looking at or using one thing at a time, even if a bunch of programs are running in the background (or sleeping).  I bet my iPhone has 40 programs running at the same time all the time.  Heck, I bet iOS itself is 40 separate programs.  IIRC there was copy-paste functionality between some DOS programs at some point, but of course pretty limited compared to what we have now.

    4. BydoEmpire

      BydoEmpire

      Not saying I'd want to return to those days... although some aspects are appealing... ;)

  16. You know you're addicted to the Internet when the home DSL is out and you hotspot your phone to get your fix.

    1. zylon

      zylon

      mmm, mmm, mmm, peanut butter 'n crack sandwich ?

  17. Auto correct can go straight to he'll.

  18. A guy over paid for an older Apple computer because he was told it was iMaculate.

  19. A wife is a little like a computer... after you bring her home, you realize she costs more than you thought she would.

     

     

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      If she was an apple computer, then you would have to throw her away for a new computer.

    3. ClassicGMR

      ClassicGMR

      So my first wife was a Macintosh??

    4. MrMaddog

      MrMaddog

      And like an old monitor, you'll hear a constant whining noise...

  20. Things were tough when I was growing up, heck back then even computer mice had balls!

  21. A new medical term has been coined for typing on your cell phone in sub-zero weather...

    ... it's called "typo-thermia".

  22. When a piece of software tries to be all things to all people, it usually ends up as a bloated mess of problems.

    1. Bixler

      Bixler

      Faintly reminds me of the trend of making so many games "open-world" for the past decade.

    2. Wally1

      Wally1

      or like Windows 

    3. CyranoJ

      CyranoJ

      Someone's installed Teams...

  23. I just broke 20,000 posts!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      Don't hit over 65535 post. Rumor has it that it rolls over to zero and the overflow flag might do some destruction.

    3. Omega-TI

      Omega-TI

      I'm just wondering if I win a prize, like a free one year subscription or something?  ;)

       

    4. TwentySixHundred

      TwentySixHundred

      Bad dad jokes don't count ?

  24. The Google search engine has to be based on a woman's brain, because it starts suggesting things even before you finish typing.

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      I would chose the same, woman are superior to men.

  25. If you can't see an end, and you have no control and don't even have a home... I think it's time for a new keyboard! ;)

    1. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      Time to ESCape from this keyboard made by the guy who got fired from the keyboard factory.

×
×
  • Create New...