I used to cheat on Leaderboard golf on C-64 by putting a piece of paper on the monitor to line up my shot. Had the distances written down for each club if I pressed and held the button for minimum and that helped get me a lot of eagles. Good memories.
It would be a real shame to see this go into the trash. I hope you're exhausting all your other means to find a taker first. And even then if you could wait I would at least consider taking it your local e-waste recycling place when they put on those free events.
I did see that it was a parody article, but thought it would be fun to get some people's blood to boil first before updating. First thing I said when I saw the title after wifey sent me the link was first sale doctrine.
Works for me too. Did a quick peek and see this for $25, ridiculous. And it doesn't tell me ahead of time how much the outrageous shipping costs will be either.
https://shopgoodwill.com/item/133922579