TourqeGlare

Hopeful bump?

Bump?

Hello. I wrote a story about an encounter with an Asteroids machine, and I would like some feedback, if that's alright. I'm working on making a career out of being a professional author, and some feedback from some actual gamers would be great. You can see it in two parts. Part 1 Part 2 While looking back at it though, I had picked up a vibe that it was giving gamers as a whole a bad name, when that was not my intention. I tried to clean it up a little, and treat every side fairly, and I'm hoping that it shows. I'm not saying that people who play games are bad, I'm not Jack Thompson (God forbid) but I'm saying that the scrubs are a problem. As far as grammar and sentence structure goes, I think it's alright, except that it has a bit of a case of "semi-colon cancer," which I'll remember to fix when I get back to it later. If this situation and post look familiar, it probably is. It's been about four years since I posted last, I think. Back then, I was writing some stories that had some mixed reactions from, probably about six or seven people. You can see that here, since I'm not going to be a necromancer and bump it. http://www.atariage.com/forums/index.php?s...c=98826&hl= At least this new version is far more developed. Thanks for looking, I'll check back often for some feedback since reading the story will probably take a while (it's about 45 pages long).

I only have this on Playstation Crap, I was exited...

My brother is learning Japanese, I used to study it, but I dropped it. Sorry. Oh yeah, the story is edited.

@ MetalSlime23, and Bill_Loguidice, Thanks for your encouragement. I will take it to heart, and do the best I can. (I hate "your" and "you're," lol) @ TheRedEye I wish you were a little bit nicer, but I cant help but agree with a few things. Thank you though. I talk to girls in RL, and they say that I do a decent job at portraying them, but I need to work on it too, which is what I'm trying to do. Giggle Girls is a dumb name anyway, and I want to dump it too so... *goes off to proofread the document*

...thanks. I could have sworn that I looked over it...

Dad gummit...

Hi! I'm an aspiring author who wants to make it big in life (sorta) I write mostly sci fi, and some odd little things on the side. I just finished one one here a little while ago, and I wanted to know if I got the details right. The story is about a girl who enjoys an Asteroids deluxe game a little too much. http://www.deviantart.com/view/44483215/ It has a B-story too, but its not relevant to classic gaming. The length is about 35 paperback pages long, so its not much of a read. Please tell me what you think, and I ask that someone please correct me on some details that I got wrong. An origin story can be found here if your interested. http://www.deviantart.com/view/42983179/ Thanks for looking.

Picture?

Finally an Atari joystick with extra fire buttons built in! Rock and Roll!

I found a weird Atari joystick, but it tuned out to be this thing. http://cpicchio.free.fr/musee/atari2600/jakks_tv_games.jpg Yay! [/spam]

Im not sure how this will be treated but... http://neighbor.ytmnd.com/

Does playing it on a PlayStation count? RRI because RRII is too hard. RRI is more pick up and play. RRII makes you crash harder.

*spock eyebrow* Fascinating...