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joeatari1

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Status Updates posted by joeatari1

  1. Why do ATM makers put braille on drive through machines?

    1. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      Or perhaps, (following a previous pattern), it is a rhetorical question meant to be read as a sardonic, dry kind of humor in a Steven Wright voice...

    2. carlsson

      carlsson

      Also, any day now the self driving cars will be so good and safe to use that even blind people can ride in them unassisted. Once it happens, they'll be able to enjoy drive through fast food, ATMs and all other services associated with arriving by car.

    3. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      ^Funny carlsson,  Earlier I felt like writing about the self driving car angle myself...But even though the responses are fun,...I'm pretty sure this was one of those times where it was a joke...Not necessarily meant to be taken at face value. ;)

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  2. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  3. If the police arrest a mime, do they still tell him that he has the right to remain silent?

    1. Frozone212

      Frozone212

      I don't know but an interrogation would be useless

    2. frankodragon

      frankodragon

      Doesn't the officer need to use his invisible baton to break the mime out of his invisible box first? 

    3. Frozone212

      Frozone212

      Officer: (Brandishes invisible baton)

      Mime: (gets cuffed)

      Officer: (mimes miranda rights)

  4. I went to the book store and asked the saleswoman "Where is the self help section?".  She said that if she told me, that would defeat the purpose.

    1. thanatos

      thanatos

      Boo, but I'll give it a like.

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      I liked it :)

       

       

      I may have felt like I knew where it was going, but that's OK...

       

       

  5. Last chance, it goes to recycling tomorrow morning.

    1. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      So you're claiming this and picking it up?

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      Recycled!

    3. Frozone212

      Frozone212

      WE HATES YOU FOREVER!

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

    1. Stephen

      Stephen

      Hopefully not if the adultery led to infancy!

    2. thanatos

      thanatos

      The answer is simple:  Who has the memories of it!

  7. If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked?🤔

    1. bluejay

      bluejay

      @Rogerpoco so if you find another turtle while mowing your lawn, are you gonna name her Geo?

    2. Rogerpoco

      Rogerpoco

      Haha-close, @bluejay  -

      I was actually a moderator for NEO-Flash at the time, so the name DID come from gaming, but not SNK!

      :D

      So I'd have to name it Flash!

    3. Hydro Thunder

      Hydro Thunder

      He's naked and Fearless.  And his Fear is NAKED

       

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  8. Last call for FREE CRT TV!  Please visit my give away thread HERE.

     

  9. My advice for the day:  Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

    1. amiman99

      amiman99

      My favorite George Carlin quote. Always tell it to my kids.

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      You can prick your finger, but don't finger...

  10. If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest drown too?

    1. Machine

      Machine

      Only if they want a good score

  11. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is this considered a hostage situation?

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      I would assume so, it is against the law to kill yourself, it is considered murder.

    2. The Usotsuki

      The Usotsuki

      And a failed suicide is, legally, attempted murder.

    3. bluejay

      bluejay

      @CPUWIZwhat are they gonna do, give you a death sentence?

  12. Is there another word for synonym?

    1. Cebus Capucinis

      Cebus Capucinis

      Metonym.

       

      Thanks, Thesaurus.com....and Thanks, Geritol!

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      I have never seen a Thesaurus.  But I did see a Tyrannosaurus and a Brontosaurus in a museum once.  Perhaps next time I go they will have a Thesaurus.

    3. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      *wheels in a the Thesaurus book on a podium display into the museum*

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  13. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

  14. Pffft.

    1. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      HHHhhmmmmphphphffft!

  15. "I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon"

    1. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      No, but "When my friends need code, who do they call?  I do HTML for them all!"

    2. ClassicGMR

      ClassicGMR

      Kirk. No question.

    3. thanatos

      thanatos

      Even got a home page for my dog.

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  16. Happy 6/9 dudes (and dudettes)!

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      I always forget, is 6 the dude or 9?

    2. carlsson

      carlsson

      I've played a lot of music in 6/8 but never 6/9.

  17. Sirloin.  The only steak good enough to be called Sir.

    1. ClassicGMR

      ClassicGMR

      Lou Rawls recommends tenderloin though...

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      No. But I have driven a Scirocco.

    3. frankodragon
    4. Show next comments  6 more
  18. If Mozart and Cinderella had a love child, would it be called Mozzarella?

    1. Allan

      Allan

      That is a pretty cheesy joke!

    2. Charlie Cat

      Charlie Cat

      BWAHAHAHAHA. Now this made my day bro. I was belly laughing on the floor. :rolling::rolling::rolling:

    3. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      You're a whiz at these jokes Joe,  A real Cheez Whiz!   Haaa...No, seriously though,  I thought it was pretty gouda!

  19. It's, It's a ballroom blitz!

    1. x=usr(1536)

      x=usr(1536)

      And the man in the back said everyone attack, and it turned into a ballroom blitz!

    2. zylon

      zylon

      and the girl in the corner said "Boy, I want to warn you. It'll turn into a ballroom blitz"

    3. frankodragon

      frankodragon

      How about a Bathroom Blitz? Only one stall.

    4. Show next comments  6 more
  20. Where do boats go when they're sick?

     

    To the doc!

  21. Free Sanyo 20" CRT TV in my give away thread.  Works perfect.  Pick up only!  It goes in the dumpster in two weeks.

  22. Avoid the Noid!

  23. Don't come over here

    Piss on my gate

    Save it just keep it off my wave

  24. Yeah, of course I've played Centipede.  But I've never heard of Human Centipede.  How do you play that?

    1. doctorclu

      doctorclu

      Well you take the DVD, put directly over the trash bin, and drop into bin.

       

      Pretty easy.

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      Bend over,  doctorclu'll show you!

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