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joeatari1

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Status Updates posted by joeatari1

  1. When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather, peacefully in my sleep.  Not screaming and freaking out like the other people in the car he was driving.

    1. thanatos

      thanatos

      First time I heard that one I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!

    2. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      I heard that one a long time ago too, but it is still funny.

  2. The Beatles.

  3. I swear, my wife has Pre Menstrual Syndrome, Menstrual Syndrome and Post Menstrual Syndrome!  I can't escape!

    1. moycon

      moycon

      @x=usr(1536) Only once and it's to to a girl I started dating when I was 16. We are still married to this day.  Here's my guess, you don't know me, and you don't realize my advice is always 100% solid and 100% correct. Follow it, and you'll be golden.

    2. x=usr(1536)

      x=usr(1536)

      @moycon: actually, I'm happy that it worked out for you to that extent.  Very few people can manage that.

    3. moycon

      moycon

      @x=usr(1536) I'll also mention I retired at age 48, but since you already know I can do things few people can manage, now I feel like you know me.  😉

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  4. Well, I stayed out of prison, stayed out of the mental hospital and I'm not in a casket.  I'd say I had a good day, all things considered.

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      You didn't even piss your pants, because of an overdose?  Lame.

    2. GoldLeader
  5. Chocolate.

    Covered.

    Pretzels.

    Mmmm.

    1. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      ^Oh, Another good one!

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      No, no mall rats.  Or Seinfeld for that matter.  Just enjoying chocolate covered pretzels.

    3. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      That also works.

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  6. I took my dog to the beach.  When I called him, everybody ran screaming.  I guess I shouldn't have named him Shark.

    1. Nathan Strum

      Nathan Strum

      I can't bring my dog Fire to the movies anymore either.

  7. Went for a six mile bike ride with my 10 year old yesterday.  I was surprised at how little complaining she did.  I probably haven't ridden that much since 1993.

    1. Albert

      Albert

      Were you doing any complaining?  :D

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      Lol!  Out loud, no.  But my knees had plenty to say!

  8. My new tag line for the day: You are a pillar of patience and understanding.

    1. DoctorSpuds

      DoctorSpuds

      I said this to myself and immediately stubbed my toe on my bedframe. Today my tag line is simply: Violence.

  9. If you are in denial, I hope you're a good swimmer.

    1. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      A man attempted to walk around the world drown today.

    2. retrorussell

      retrorussell

      Or, "that's a load of croc."

    3. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      "Let's drive to Hawaii!"

  10. Eat a bag of _____.

    1. D Train

      D Train

      malted milk balls?

      swedish fish?

      jelly babies?

    2. carlsson

      carlsson

      Fun reflection: The "Swedish fish" are virtually unknown as a candy in Sweden. You might find it if you look far into every place that sells sweets, but are as typically Swedish as yogurt with caramelized popcorn are a typical US snack.

    3. GoldLeader
    4. Show next comments  9 more
  11. Anyone near Manalapan NJ?  Here is an Atari Pole Position cabinet in what looks like good condition for $100.  Not my sale, just passing it along as it seems like a good deal.

    https://cnj.craigslist.org/vgm/d/tennent-arcade-cabinet/7287151373.html

    1. jaybird3rd

      jaybird3rd

      For the very first time since I left over 20 years ago, this actually makes me wish I was still in New Jersey.

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      I left NJ 33 years ago and I'm still too close!

  12. I love the Gameye app!

  13. Mother puss bucket!

    1. Random Terrain

      Random Terrain

      Desaturated nipple salve!

    2. frankodragon

      frankodragon

      Back off, man! I'm a scientist!
    3. Stephen

      Stephen

      Yes sir, it's true.  This man has no ---

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  14. What's a bad wizards favorite computer program?

     

    Spell check!

    1. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      That wizard doesn't like taking spelling tests at school either.

  15. If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      If it weren't for a horse, I wouldn't have spent a year in prison.

    2. RockyRaccoon

      RockyRaccoon

      My favorite Lewis Black bit.

       

       

    3. jd_1138

      jd_1138

      If it weren't for my horse, my proctologist bill would be zero.

  16. 4 non blondes walk into a bar, and nobody gives them a second look.  Bah dum tiss.

    1. John Stamos Mullet

      John Stamos Mullet

      4 Non Blondes, Nickelback, and Spin Doctors walk into a bar.

       

      i-could-set-the-building-on-fire.jpg

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      So none of them were Concrete Blondes?

  17. Finland has just closed it's borders. 

     

     

    Looks like nobody will be crossing the Finnish Line.

    1. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      You crack me up Joe!  Keep'em coming!!

  18. Just re strung my electric guitar and tuned it.  Took me about an hour because I haven't played it in over 15 years.  Getting a new amp next week so I can be cool again.😎

    1. Wally1

      Wally1

      While we're all comparing guitar notes, my first electric was a solid body Univox combo with Fender musicmaster bass amp (15w).

      Man, pulling that g-string if I did not sound like Hendrix I must have been delusional!  More proof, years later I taught myself

      the Star-Spangled Banner, complete with distortion and feedback enough to rock a stadium!  These days however I prefer

      to play drums, call me crazy...

       

    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      The last time I pulled a G-string was the last time.  I got slapped pretty hard!:lolblue:

    3. Wally1

      Wally1

      😆that was great

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  19. What is the best time to have a dentist appointment?

     

    Tooth hurty!

  20. What concert costs just 45 cents?

     

    50 Cent with Nickelback!

    1. Rogerpoco

      Rogerpoco

      Pretty sure their actual name came from some kind of thing like that, amount of change at Starbucks or something.

      *Embarrassed to vaugely know ANYTHING about Nickelback...*

    2. Wally1

      Wally1

      Sounds like chump change if you ask me.

  21. I met a guy named Nunzio and I asked him who his employer was. 

     

    His reply was Nunzio business!

  22. I don't always Whoomp.  But when I do, there it is.

  23. Incorrigible potato waste chipper penguin hopper dominatrix.

  24. Your Dixie Wrecked!

     

    image.jpeg.310b3a7e774ec151d58c64fe46b40f8b.jpeg

  25. So, how many of you wrote 1/4/20 as the date today?  So far I've only done it once.😁

    1. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      Ha!  That would make it twice then!

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      Well I wrote a 1-4-2021, on a check today...HMmmm...I didn't even notice the 4-20 in there...Must be slipping...But yeah the nice thing is if ya wrote 1-4-20 you can easily change the 20 to 2021 by adding the 21...hehaa...easy fix this year I guess.

    3. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      Easy fix until 2100 (not that the planet will survive that long). ;)

    4. Show next comments  9 more
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