PixelsLtd

Thank you for the kind spirit of your reply. Just quickly, to add: (to be clear to people skim reading - this is not referring to Keiren! I am defending what in my opinion appears to be a misconception about Larry, who by some seems tarred by previous association.) Larry comes from a TV background, I come from the music industry then film. Both of us over decades. Seen many storms brew, and pass. Also very aware of the Streisand effect. Its often safer to stay silent, as far as public statements go, unless you are 100% sure of the hill you want to die on. It is very dangerous to assume that silence means acceptance, you never know what people are doing or saying behind the scenes. Thats all I'll say as its not my business to go further here. We've seen recently with lots of people who are "cancelled" and people rush to be outraged or virtue signal, only for later evidence to come out etc that shows things weren't quite so black and white. There are no winners in these situations and it makes it harder for true victims to get their real stories out in the fallout. As I said, you mentioned the CA thing (I assume), and whilst not making a public statement, social media retweets, likes and meme posts made it very clear that he did not endorse the nastier implications of any of that stuff. I would encourage you not to read people's intentions from how they react to online controversy, or by a perceived lack of action. That can lead to unfair gossip and witch hunts and its better to concentrate on people where there is clear evidence of wrongdoing - like, perhaps, in this thread, if the current behaviour of certain social media accounts don't stop harassing and taunting people. I respect your message and the open minded and good natured spirit of your reply, and I noticed you went back and redacted or clarified your previous messages, and I thank you for that. I'd like to respectfully bow out of this thread now unless I get dragged back in lol

Thank you for clarifying the above, I accept the apologies and corrections, I hold no grudges. Easy mistake to make. Now is not the time to get into my CV but yes I've done both 2d and 3d animation and compositing work on several YouTubers channels who are much bigger than my own. I'm also a member of RetroUnlim and MoRG and have done joint projects, live streams, etc with many of their members (which includes Larry, Kim, Slopes, Top Hat etc), and was an Exec on Digitiser the Show and am friends with many of that crew. Many of all of those guys are working on an independent movie I'm currently producing, and a documentary series on Sonic. The retro community is 99.9% lovely people. I was very sad when all the negative stuff, trolls, sock puppets etc started zapping the fun out of it and making everyone anxious to come online or post new content. Larry IS a lovely bloke, and exceptionally private. Having an outgoing public persona as a presenter does not mean that you are comfortable letting people into all aspects of your life. Larry has been on television talking about games since the mid 1990s. His public persona has been carefully developed since then and he does an excellent job. There is a reason that he is so well loved within his fanbase. As for Keirens work on the book, he has not tried to hide it and credits him appropriately. As I said, I can't imagine they will be working together again in future projects, though I won't speak for either of them, that is the distinct impression that has been given online. From what I've seen he has made no public statement on all this, other than the very telling "He only worked on 4 of my videos!" comment. Those were all a long time ago and all Atari related (unless you count the Vega+ video which was also independently posted, and on Slopes channel I believe). I would not want to put words into his mouth but I'm 100% sure that the involvement in his book would have been minimal, Atari only stuff and not carried out recently. As for the "refusal to remove himself from a website" I assume you mean Channel Awesome, and again, he publicly talked about that, and simply stated he saw the humour in being the "last man standing" there while it went down in flames. His social media feed made it VERY clear he did not agree with the negative stuff those guys did, and he made and posted many memes criticising the management there and basically begging to be fired. It was rather amusing. If him remaining on the site gave you the opinion that he endorsed their failings, you got the wrong end of the stick, probably because as you stated, you don't really do social media, so wouldn't have seeing him posting about it. That is the last I will be saying about this though as I already feel that I am overstepping a boundary by saying all this. I am not the kind to gossip about people, especially not those who have been such good friends to me and who I wish every success. The book is excellent, by the way

Dude I have NO idea what you are talking about, I have not written any book and have not involved Kieren in any projects whatsoever. I'm now 100% sure you have me confused with someone else. I have made YouTube videos and documentaries with many YouTubers, but Kieren is not one of them. We just entered each other's periphery through my friendship with Sarah, Larry, and Dan (Slopes) who he had worked with before, so we chatted online, and in person. Have you got me confused thinking I am Sam Dyer of Bitmap books? I very much am not. I'm in the film industry. I work on Star Wars and Superhero movies lol. I completely agree that Sam Dyer's refusal to be transparent about what input Keiren had on his Atari book is shady looking to say the least, though I appreciate there may be NDAs, I understand why you might have animosity towards him. Once again, that is NOT ME. Sam is a common name ya know The whole "Sam is a hypocrite" thing you quoted was not about me. He only mentioned me in his longer message to Sarah because he knew we speak offline. [edit] As for GamerGate I did not follow that nor do I know anything about it. I do know Larry well both online and off and he has been a very very kind and loyal friend to me and countless others I've spoken to irl at multiple conventions and events. As he is quite a private person I'll respect that and refrain from saying any more. His book was written over the process of 3 years so having Kieren involved with it is bad timing. He only worked on a handful of specifically Atari based videos for Larry and I can't imagine after all this he would ever invite that kind of controversy into his professional life. He loves many of the people hurt by all this just as much as I do, and is a loyal and trusted friend to them.

Sorry but I feel like this and some other replies completely missed my point. Perhaps I was too wordy and people skim read. I fear that will happen again, brevity is not my strength. Nowhere did I say "You're great Kieren", nor did I stick up for him or try and claim he didn't deserve criticism. My "lovely friends" are Sarah, Hannah, Kim and Larry, not him. I was clear to state that I DID previously consider him a friend, but that I felt betrayed, and that my loyalties did not lie with him. My primary loyalty is with one individual who I won't name but I know for a fact that Kieren has greatly hurt, and that he did on purpose, in his own statements, in his own name. I could never defend that. I thought I made all of that clear previously. Ah well. I also stated multiple times that I believed most if not all of the accusations against him - unless he could prove otherwise, and pointed out that depite being offered many chances to do so, he never has, and therefore it didn't look good. I stated I was upset and angry at him. Truthfully, when I read his 15 page statement, I was fucking furious and knew damn well what damage he was doing, and that he had done it on purpose either out of spite or desperation. He knows that some of what he wrote was weasel worded half truths to make people jump to the wrong conclusions and make others look bad, when I know that he knows the full truth and how he misrepresented it. These are people he purported to be friends. That was beyond the pale, and he knows it. It was a dick move beyond all reason and I would happily tell him that to his face. But, if people want to misinterpret what I wrote, that's fine, I've re-read it and am personally happy that I said what I meant. Kieren left me a personal message, hoping I'd read it. I did, and I responded. I feel that I did so in a kind, compassionate way, whilst also very clearly not exonerating him or making any excuses for him whatsoever, and making it clear that I feel he needs to either clear his name, or apologise and stop the bullcrap and get the hell off the internet and concentrate on his family. His message to me was to try and appeal to my better nature, so I responded in kind, hoping that he will listen to my advice. Insulting him will make him dig his feet in deeper, and feel more angry and resentful, which will make this ten times worse. That should be a self evident truth and should not be a controversial thing to say. If he read and understood my message, and took it to heart. I think it could potentially help. If not, then I've tried my best, and its frankly his fault, and there is no more I can reasonably do. I don't see how I can be any clearer than that. And if for some reason that upsets you all, then I'm sorry. By pointing out that maybe we shouldn't be nitpicking over grammar or factual errors in his books, I wasn't "sticking up for my friend". Read it again and you will see that I was clearly offering advice of the best way to be able to pursue a clear legal case and not make the matter seem trivial or petty if law enforcement have to trawl through all this. I was trying to help you all, not criticise you. But when I typed it I understood some would get angry regardless. I brought that on myself I guess. Finally, for the record: You didn't make me cry And I laughed when I read that, I'm far from a snowflake, and have pretty thick skin. I was just asking that people didn't willfully misinterpreted what I was saying, which it seems some people went ahead and did anyway, as is their right I guess. It is clear to everyone that knows me, and even those who don't but have read all my messages in this thread and elsewhere carefully, that my loyalties have never been with Kieren and are with the people I know personally very well who you allude to being driven to suicidal thoughts. My number one priority has always been to phone, text or visit them to make sure they are ok, not posting online to strangers.

I've been staying away from this topic as I had nothing more to add, frankly I find it upsetting, as I'm sure most people here do and whilst I understand the anger and frustration, I don't feel that criticizing the quality of someone's writing or grammar or making memes is why I posted here in the first place. I agree that some of the stuff he has written is clearly factually wrong, which sets my pedantic metre off (Tom and Jerry chips in the Lynx?!), and the spelling and grammatical errors are not great for books that are being charged for, but none of that is worth publicly chastising or shaming someone over in my opinion. The truly serious stuff that he is being accused of is the targeted harassment and abuse coming from sock puppet accounts, things like Horracegate, trying to ruin people's careers, damage their mental health, attack their personal and professional relationships. Those to me are the serious alleged crimes here and though I understand people wanting to comment on Kieren's professional output, I have no need or urge to join in with that, and I might suggest that if people feel there is a potential criminal case here, that correcting spelling and such is just obfuscating the more serious matters at hand. I really only posted to this topic in the first place for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I was just posting to try to give some context, attempting to defend my IRL friends (several of whom are now thankfully regularly posting here and can stand up for themselves), including but not limited to Sarah, Hannah, Kim and Larry, all of whom I can comfortably say are some of the most lovely and genuine friends I've had. I just want things to go back to the state where everyone can be peaceful, happy, calm, and just return to having fun sharing memories about old games we all love. I cannot speak more highly of the integrity of any of those guys, I adore them all and they have all shown me great kindness over the years. I'm glad to see Kim posting in here to clear up the screenshot issue, and can 100% vouch for her as kind, selfless and honest to a fault. Whilst I genuinely didn't plan on posting again, I was alerted to this, where Kieren named me directly: Working in the entertainment industry as I do, its usually best not to comment on any controversies publicly, and my first instinct in all this was to just stay quiet and defend my friends offline and out of the public eye. But the second, and frankly deciding reason that I chose, against my instincts, to post publicly, was because I knew that Kieren would be likely to see, as it seems he is monitoring this stuff very closely. So, if I may just reply personally to him here: Kieren. Thank you for your kind words. I genuinely really do appreciate them and am glad that you feel that way about me. I always try and be kind, fair, understanding and honest. I have never wanted anything more in this little retro world than to make friends and chat about mutual interests with nice people. You know some of the issues and worries I have had, and I expect you can understand why all this online drama over various things for over a year now has made it hard for me to feel safe or inclined to come back and post. I will do eventually I'm sure, I have recorded many videos and collaborated with many wonderful people on them, so I can't let those go unpublished. It just doesn't feel like the right time quite yet. In my reply to your 15 page statement, I hope you noticed that I fully gave you the benefit of the doubt in suggesting that if you have evidence that can prove your innocence of charges lobbied at you, you should make it very open and clear your name. I never once threw you under the bus or said I fully believed it, just that it looked pretty bad, which you must admit that it does. You know where my closest friendship and loyalty lies, and you know where you overstepped the mark in your statement with a misleading half truth that seemed spiteful in intent, and why I as a loyal friend would be upset and feel duty bound to step in. I hope you don't blame me for this or feel that I have been disloyal to you, if you truly consider me a friend. As I clearly stated several times, I did consider you a friend and enjoyed our chats both online and in person. I have continually tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. And even if you are guilty of everything you are accused of (which, if you cannot prove it other than vaguely telling people to search twitter, sadly, seems likely), like others here who are my good friends, I will once again reiterate that I wish you no ill will, and urge you to apologise, take some time offline and concentrate on your family, and get some counselling or support to work through why or how it ever got to this point. Stewing and plotting and obsessively monitoring all this is not healthy and will just lead to more troubles. I stated before that even despite all this and how bad it looks, if I bumped into you I'd still buy you a pint and have a chat. Whether you are guilty or not guilty either way I want you to get better and come through this, for the sake of your kids. I just want all the negativity and toxicity to end. Again, thank you for your kind words about me, and I'm sorry if my messages upset you, that was never the intention, hopefully its always been clear that I'm coming from the position of worrying about everybody, and wanting to help everyone, including you. Whoever is responsible for all this (and if you can prove its not you as you said, then do yourself a favour and prove it, otherwise literally no-one will believe you)... this needs to stop. To anyone reading the above who is triggered or upset by my kind, forgiving or understanding tone, please try and resist the urge to correct or chastise me and understand its just how I am, I can't bring myself to hate anyone no matter what they do. I'm the kind of person who when I am robbed I feel sorry for the robber as something in their life must be really bad to have gotten them to that point and they probably need the money more than I do. I have made it clear that from what I have seen and read, it looks like Kieren is guilty of some or all of the accusations, I know for a fact that certain things he has publicly said in his own name were both untrue, and extremely hurtful and damaging to one of my best friends, seemingly designed to be so, and for this I am very upset, and I have told him in no uncertain terms to stop, and get help. I think that's as fair as I can be. We all deal with situations in our own ways, and as both a mental health advocate and also someone who has dealt with several strong issues of his own, and has coached many family and friends through a variety of similar conditions and issues, its my instinct to feel sad and want to help, rather than to feel angry and want to chastise. I apologise if anyone feels that my attitude in anyway lessens their own personal pain, anger, or experience of this situation, that is not my intention, I respect your experience and reaction to this situation, please do the same to mine. Thank you in advance.

Thank you for clarifying. I wasn't assuming ill intent on your behalf, far from it. I just wanted to be clear for anyone scrolling through that Larry having used him in the past does not mean that he was in any way involved or aware with the nasty stuff. The 15 page statement thanked him for his support. That felt like simply taking advantage of his previous good will in order to imply his support of the document, and was a bit like throwing him under the bus. Its not my place to speak for anyone but I felt it was important to clarify for anyone speed reading. This has already hurt many people as it is, don't want to accidentally create another victim. I have no intention of speaking for other people or putting my nose in where its unwelcome, so I'll leave it at that.

I've been trying to stay out of all this now but since this is the second time I've seen him mentioned, I'll just say please don't drag Larry into this. He's a really good dude who had no idea about all this crap unfolding. And it shouldn't affect anyone's opinion of his excellent book, he has been working on it for years, long before this came out, and he deserves for it to be a success. None of this is remotely his fault I can assure you.

Thanks so much mate. I just hate everything about this whole situation. I never wish harm on anyone no matter what. But this needs to stop, for everyone's sakes, including Kieren himself. I wasn't going to post here again, as I'm just concentrating on private conversations with the people who are close to me that are affected by this. However, as I'm posting again, I'd like to add my support for the brave statements by Octav1us and Retro Princess. They are both incredible pillars of the community, and have helped countless people including myself with mental health problems or disabilities, or just day to day worries that everyone deals with. And no, not for clickbait, or views, or Patreon money. I mean, spending their time to message people, help them, check up on them, with no public visibility. One time when I was going through a really rough patch and didn't come online or answer the phone for a couple months they went above and beyond and even wrote to my home address to offer support, and I am far from the only one who has stories like that. They are sweet, kind and genuine people in real life and are literally the least likely people to lie or misrepresent a situation. And for those who have never watched their content, if its not obvious, Kieren's statement saying that "literally every video" is somehow sexually explicit or wearing some kind of revealing costume, a simple perusal of their channel will show that that is complete and utter horseshit, a point so easy to disprove that I have no idea why he thought it would help his cause to post it. Also, I probably should have mentioned before that several of the people named in the list of people Kieren thanked in his document are also good friends of mine, lovely people, some of whom I've spoken to privately and they are shocked, appalled and saddened at this whole situation, and would never have agreed to be dragged into this. Its probably obvious by this point but do NOT assume that they have anything to do with co-signing ore reading the document, nor that they have they endorsed it, or posted support of his claims. I'd hate for it to damage their reputations in any way. If simply supporting him in the past and remaining publically silent during these fallouts was all it took to be "thanked" then I guess I'm lucky I made that reply on the blog and apology to George, lest my name could have been there as well. Its not even slightly cricket to put other people's named in the document like that without asking them first as if it implies they agree with it. To claim people are friends and then damage them by further association without asking them first shows extremely bad manners and makes it look like they weren't truly friends, just names to use to bolster your reputation. Again. I don't wish Kieren any harm. He has a wife and kids and they deserve a happy and peaceful life. In my opinion he is not beyond help, and does have some positive qualities, even if right now they are well hidden, and negated by certain extremely toxic behaviours that damage himself as well as others. I just want him to realise that attacking other people is not the way forward for him, and he needs to concentrate on positivity and healing himself. He obviously has a lot of sadness in his life and a lot of personal demons. I echo Sarah's concerns for him and her advice that he contacts the Samaritans. They do great work and are trained to deal with exactly these kinds of situations.

Yes, absolutely. As a film producer and actor, I am all too aware of that. It regularly happens to friends of mine and scares the crap out of me. I've kept my nose as clean as can be but it only takes one idiot with a vendetta and you are damaged irreparably. Of course I do not know the ins and outs of this particular situation or anything about you but I'm truly sorry for hurtful things that have happened to you that you did not deserve. I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on my worst enemy. I think Sarah's succinct, kind and graceful statement above is a good place for me to bow out of this discussion unless anything deeper comes to light where I feel I can add actually useful input. Thanks

Again, I'm sorry for anyone that happens to, thats another of the "below the belt" stuff I stated should NEVER be made. I never said that he was "misguided" and I don't believe he was. I believe that all actions he actually made were deliberate and I know first hand that some of them were malicious, as proved by his statement combined with knowledge that proves to me that he is miswording stuff to deflect and make others look bad. That's what made me speak up in the first place, not to defend him, but to defend my friends and to ask him to stop falsely scapegoating them. All I said was that I want him to get help rather than be killed, and just because he is definitely guilty of some things doesn't mean he is guilty of everything (the exact same mistake I made when judging George too quickly, which was wrong of me and I have apologised for), and I'm sure his statement can be picked apart to prove some stuff one way or the other. I mean no disrespect to anyone and I am appalled at the things that I know for sure that he has done. I am just trying to appeal to him and everyone else's better nature here. As I said, I've recently lost people close to me who took their own life because of online drama and I've seen how it affected their families and friends. My main advice to Kieren if he is reading is just to step away from the online world for a while and concentrate on his own health and looking after his family. I don't believe I was disrespecting anyone's pain or invalidating their experience by doing so. I'm gonna stay quiet now as I've said my piece and I think that my words have spoken for themselves. I would much rather start to move on and heal and help those friends who have been affected by this. I wish nothing but the best to anyone reading this.

Thank you for your measured and kind response. I'm not "giving him the benefit of the doubt" in the sense that I have said that he has admitted to lying about certain things, and I know for certain that he is still lying about other things. His document raises certain questions where he implies there have been some things he has been flasely accused of, I'm sure others here will be able to prove that one way or another, none of that is my business or in my power. But yeah, though I REALLY didn't want to make any kind of public statement about any of this, the reason I did was to try and prevent the continued victimizing of parties that I know are innocent of some of the things he is either accusing or heavily implying. To have stayed silent would have been disloyal and disingenuous. You guys don't need me to tear down Kieren, thats been done already, and I don't think his response is helping him whilst he continues to unfairly attack others with lies and half truths. I will always feel compassion for people who are driven to act in these ways, because it comes from a place of being fundementally broken, sad, and in need of councelling. But I will always feel even MORE compassion for the innocent victims. I was not in any way trying to minimise upset casued by him action, I've seen first hand the devastation some of this has caused and I am angry and appalled at his actions. That is of course appauling behaviour and I am truly sorry to anyone who has ever gone through this or similar. Of course I don't know the full story in this case but if any individual ever goes that far, they have to be extremely broken and need extreme help, and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near social media or the internet until they have a full recovery and realise why that must not and cannot ever happen again.

I can already tell this is going to be a rant of some length and I apologise in advance but I feel a lot of this needs context. I have no intention of making this a black and white statement of guilt or innocence or starting a mudslinging contest. I write this with a heavy heart as I've tried to stay away from all this drama and I don't like to make negative public statements. I may regret typing this but I feel that by not doing so, I am not being honest and am standing idly by whilst not protecting my good friends who I love dearly. All this drama over the last year or so has involved and/or affected several close personal friends of mine (including those I know IRL and have spent decent amounts of time with getting to know and trust implicitly, and one who I consider to be one of the best and most loyal friends I have ever had). Very little of this is my business to get involved in. As someone who has long suffered from an exhaustive list of mental health problems and has gone through a fairly tulmultuous time in my private life recently, none of which I would wish on anybody, I've avoided social media like the plague and not logged in to my personal twitter, facebook or others for several years. However, I started making YouTube videos about retro games and attending events as a way to force myself to have some form of limited social interaction and set up a dedicated twitter for that purpose and for a while everything was wonderful and I felt like I had made good friends and that the small UK community of retro gaming YouTubers was a pretty safe and welcoming one. Though we have only met once in real life (at Play Expo Manchester, and we got on very well), I have spoken with Kieren at length online and if you had asked me last week my opinion on him, I would have said he was a friend and thoroughly vouched for him, as indeed would several of my other friends. I had no idea about any of this negative stuff over the years, other than knowing Kieren's side that he told me of how he has had several stalkers who had persecuted, harassed and bullied him online. My day job is working in the film industry and before that the music industry, and I myself have dealt with a plethora of harassment, abuse, doxing, false rumours by jealous colleagues or crazy internet randoms, so, I empathised and felt very sorry for him. I endeavoured to help him in private messages as much as I could when he was feeling upset or down, and several times he reached out for my advice in times of need and I helped as best I could. I had no reason to suspect that he might be lying, especially as he had written for Retro Gamer, appeared to have written many books (though I admit I hadn't read them, so assumed they were of a high standard, because I respect Retro Gamer), and I knew that he had helped several of my fellow YouTubers write their scripts, and they said he was a good bloke. I never researched the drama he mentioned further, as I try and avoid it and don't use forums or facebook groups and the like, only really recently managing to occasionally comment on retro gaming videos, to support my friends. As recently as last week I was talking with Keiren in the comments of his videos about our shared gaming memories and opinions, and I suspected nothing was wrong. I only found out that Kieren was being blamed for all this when I read Paul's blogpost. Not that he named him, and I thought he did a really good job at staying pretty neutral and just trying to explain his limited experience. I have huge respect for Paul and in any dealing I have had with him I've found him nothing but honest and wanting to stay out of drama, despite people trying to constantly pull him into it. Though he didn't mention Kieren by name, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach when I read it, that it was refering to him. I did a quick google search of his name, found this thread, read all the posts, and my suspicions were confirmed. Let me strongly state that I didn't want to believe any of it. I considered Kieren a friend. To be honest, I still do, to an extent. I don't like to hold grudges and if I saw him down the pub I'd buy him a pint and talk about retro games. But I'd find it harder to trust him than perhaps I once naively did. I told him many details about my personal life that perhaps I shouldn't have. I still don't know for sure if all of this is true. It seemed to me reading that IP logs had been checked, google accounts avatars changing, sock puppet accounts all disapearing at once etc that it was pretty irrefutable, but after reading Kieren's statement saying that the IPs don't match or couldn't possibly be traced I must admit that I'm interested to see what is true and what isn't. Perhaps once again I've believed something at face value without confirming it myself. Its a bloody minefield and I don't have the time or energy for any of it and again I feel like I should just stay the hell away from it all and mind my own business. So, whilst I avoided making a post here, a video, or a public statement on my twitter, or numerous other things that ran through my head and caused me anxiety to even consider, I decided to stay quiet and simply text my friends who's phone numbers I have to make sure they were ok. My main source of guilt for staying quiet publically was fuelled by seeing the messages on here, and videos by George, who I had heard many rumours about, specifically that he had been using sock puppets to target friends of mine (I had discussed this with Kieren, but it was a widespread belief amongst many in the community so he wasn't the only person I heard it from), and I just believed those rumours right away, partially because so many people I respected believed them, and also partially because upon looking at George's videos, many of them were quite angry, foul mouthed and regularly attacking at least three people I considered good friends in ways that I felt were misguided and unfair. I don't think George and I are in danger of becoming best friends any time soon. However, as he has said, there is a big difference between publically saying something in a video standing by your convictions (even if I strongly disagree with them), and using sock puppet accounts, manipulating people, or trying to damage their personal lives outside of YouTube. I felt I owed George some sort of apology, as I think on at least one occasion I have been lucky enough to be invited to participate in a public event with some much more successful YouTubers than myself, and may have laughed at or agreed with a comment aimed at him, because of what we all believed to be true, and now, it looks as though we were wrong to believe. When I saw that several of my friends had made apologies to George, or at least acknowledged they may have been wrong for blaming him for everything, I felt that I was not breaking any loyalties by apologising to him as well. I felt I needed to be true to my own morals, even if it was inviting negative attention to myself. I worded my apology very carefully so as to not imply that I endorsed his previous statements, but also that I was sorry for taking those statements as evidence of much worse crimes. To be fair, George replied in a very gracious way to myself and others and I respect him for doing so. I hope there are no hard feelings. I also left a comment on the original blogpost that lead me to even be aware of all this, as I felt that it was important to give a small amount of context and to restate that I hope that we can all now move on and just go back to talking about the games that we all love. No-one in the community wants all this drama. Many people have different political beliefs, religions, backgrounds, whatever, but the thing that brought us together is our shared love of retro gaming. After I made my post, Paul locked the thread, leaving my message as the last one. I hope this is because he felt it was a nice, kind spirited way to end, and not that he felt I was somehow trying to escalate things or make things worse. Having re-read my statement I think its a fitting end to all this and I was happy to leave it at that. I've not commented anywhere more publically and had no futher intention to say any more on the matter. But, then I saw Kieren's 15 page statement. To be frank, because of all the evidence I'd seen here I had pretty much decided he was probably guilty and I was very sad about it, I felt like I had been betrayed by a friend and somewhat groomed and used for my closeness to certain other people. But still, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If he hadn't deleted his YouTube or Twitter I would have reached out to him to ask him if he was ok, and to let him explain himself. By deleting his accounts and also the troll accounts disappearing as well, and his facebook groups becoming private, that looked to me both like he was guilty, and that there was no way for me to contact him to get his side. I am aware that there is never a 100% black or white, right or wrong answer in cases like this, and even if he had come out and admitted wrongdoing and apologised, I would have forgiven him and still remained his friend and tried to coach him through whatever demons he had making him feel that he had to act this way. Of course we all know that people who lie about themself or others to make themselves look good are often very unhappy, and those who bully others are usually the most unhappy and insecure of them all, and though I can be angry at someone's behaviour, I try to feel sorry for them and wish to help them, rather than persecuting and writing them off. Again I won't get into it but I've recently had several friends and family either take their own lives, or attempt to, and I was worried that he would feel put in a similar position. That is never the answer, especially when you have children. Reading the full statement was somewhat of a rollercoaster, in the sense that my opinions and emotions fluctuated throughout. Its clear that there is a whole heap of history going back years that I don't even slightly have the context, knowledge or proof to judge fully. His statement says that what have been stated as irrefutable facts like IP logs, screenshots and statements from seemingly reputable people like publishers or well regarded authors may not be accurate. Considering some things such as him admitting to lying or misrepresenting facts about "writing" various Spectrum games (both commercial releases and ones typed out from code books) and the fact the avatar to his personal google account changed at the same time as a fake account don't point towards him always being 100% honest, but again as with George, I shouldn't take evidence of one wrong, as being evidence as a whole string of them. Many people would subscribe to Occams' Razor, but as YouTubers we would probably all prefer Dollar Shave Club. (Sorry!) But, when I got to the latter parts of the document, I got to places where he is stating stuff that I know personally to be untrue, and furthermore I know that HE knows are untrue. Kieren. Mate. If you are reading this. I'm sorry for typing this stuff. I'm sorry for getting involved. I considered you a friend and despite all this I want you to be ok. I would never wish any harm on you or your family. I'm not the bad guy, please don't hate me. If you had not have made it personal, I would have stayed way out of this and left it as it was. I'm not 100% sure as to who is telling the truth and who is lying about what specific thing in most cases. But you KNOW that some of what you said about one of my best friends is untrue, and some of it is heavily misleading. This is a person that is extremely vulnerable, and trusted you, and confided in you, and the fact you have tried to "help them through these issues" are a good portion of why we became close friends online and I trusted you. If you are truly responsible for any of those problems in the first place, that is unforgivable. I found it truly hard to believe, and if you read my previous statements, you'll see that I never fully believed them and said things like "if he is guilty" and stated that I considered you as a friend who had been kind to me and who I trusted. However, there is stuff in that statement that is patently untrue, others which are half truths worded in purposefully misleading ways, and covering subjects hitting very much below the belt where a reasonable person should not have gone to. I'm sure that you know which bits I'm talking about. The fact you would stoop to that level in an attempt to try and make yourself look better makes me incredibly sad and makes me feel that you've actually made yourself look more likely to be guilty in my eyes. This still doesn't mean I wish you any harm. In fact I'm very worried for your mental health, and I want you to speak to someone, get help, and just step away from everything, for the sake of you, and your family. Please don't do anything silly mate. But please, also, know when to "leave alone", and when you are crossing lines that should never be crossed. For anyone else reading this I'm aware 99% of you don't know who I am and also that I have stated that I know for fact that some of his statement is lies or half truths, but I have not stated which ones or offered proof. I'm struggling with this as I don't feel its my place to reveal details of the personal lives of my close friends. For context, these aren't just YouTubers I've collaborated with or met at conventions. These are people who I know well. People who despite the fact I've not been able to be online for over a year have remained good friends and in touch both by phone and in real life. People who have trusted me into their lives. Invited me into their homes. Insisted on giving me lifts to places that were well out of their way. Helped me through very difficult times. One even kindly cooked me an incredible dinner on a Christmas I would have otherwise spent alone. And never ONCE have I used this for clout publically. Never posted a picture. Never mentioned it on twitter. It wasn't about "using" them, it was about them being some of the nicest, most genuine people I've had the pleasure of knowing, who I love and trust implicitely and am heartbroken when I see people trying to hurt them. And I don't feel that its appropropriate to suddenly state exactly which people I'm refering to or which things in the statement I know aren't true. Because I'm not posting this for any reason other than I'm hoping Kieren sees it. And HE knows which bits aren't true or are misleading. Kieren. Please stop. I considered you a mate. I'm hurt, and dissapointed, but I still do, despite all this. I wish you no ill will whatsoever, I want you to get over all this and move on for the sake of your health and your family. PLEASE stop making it worse for yourself and others. I can see that perhaps not all the accusations are black and white and you may have been wrongfully accused or misrepresented in some ways and you feel let down and backed up against a wall trying to protect yourself. But as I said to George, by dragging other people into this in what looks on the surface, even to impartial others, to be an agressive, vindictive way, you make it very hard for people to feel sympathy for you. I apologised to George and I apoligise to you for believing "everything" without checking the evidence myself. I'll leave it up to others to fact check your defenses, some of which may be perfectly valid. I've no idea. But please stop making this personal and further causing harm to people who never asked to be dragged into any of this, and who have been very supportive and kind to you in the past, and even less than a week ago were pubically defending you in youtube comments and refusing to believe any of this as they considered you a trusted friend just as I did. I want this to all be over, as I'm sure you also do. Please don't make it worse. Let's try and heal and move on.