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atari2600land

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Status Updates posted by atari2600land

  1. atari2600land

    Have you ever wondered WHY Garfield hates Mondays? Here's the answer:

    monday.jpg.28d45849a64cd97d51bf602457fbde4f.jpg

    There.

    1. Charlie Cat

      Charlie Cat

      Hahaha. Good one @atari2600land :D

  2. atari2600land

    I'm incontinent. North America. Why do I have to wear a diaper?

  3. atari2600land

    If a bear poops in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      The bear hears it.

    3. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      If there's no one around to smell it, does it make a smell?

    4. carlsson

      carlsson

      This implies that bears make sounds when they poop to begin with. I don't know about bears, but from own experience it varies.

  4. atari2600land

    I was working on something. The clock read 4 pm. I looked at the clock again at what I thought was a few minutes later. It then said 7:40pm.

  5. atari2600land

    The nude Scotsman was off-kilter.

  6. atari2600land

    Horse news: No triple crown winner this year.

    1. bent_pin

      bent_pin

      That explains all the long faces.

  7. atari2600land

    I can't poop. Not because I'm constipated but because they're working on our sewers. Again.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      That's not good.  If you miss your "window of opportunity", you could end up constipated.

    3. Reaperman

      Reaperman

      'Can't' or 'won't'--this sounds like 'quitter' talk to me. 🤣 Time to bucket-flush a load of payday bars.

    4. Cobra Strike Down

      Cobra Strike Down

      I disagree. The front yard is free.

  8. atari2600land

    No  offense to @Charlie Cat, but I am going to love next Monday because it's only supposed to be 68 degrees.

    1. Charlie Cat

      Charlie Cat

      @atari2600land And my birthday as well. :D

  9. atari2600land

    Why do I need to charge my new razor with my computer? Everything has a USB port charging stuff now. I don't have a computer in my bathroom.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. carlsson

      carlsson

      Unless the razor came with a charger, probably any regular 5V 1A charger would do. Or if you have a power strip somewhere with built-in USB charging ports.

    3. atari2600land

      atari2600land

      I just ordered the razor on eBay and it hasn't come yet, but why does everything have to be recharged with USB? What's wrong with a wall outlet?

    4. carlsson

      carlsson

      It saves manufacturers money using an established technology for charging the battery, instead of supplying their own power adapter which anyway does nothing better than the USB charger does, and once you misplace the adapter the razor would be forever unusable. I would imagine that razors that are directly powered by electricity, not rechargeable, haven't been made in many years.

       

      Notice that many cell phone manufacturers like Apple and Samsung no longer supply a charger with their phones, despite the phone is in the $1000++ range. They rely on that the customer will buy a charger separately, or have one since before. Then again if your old charger is too weak or inferior, they'll blame you as the customer for any damage that occurred as you didn't use their own (not supplied) charger.

  10. atari2600land

    Happy Birthday to the world's oldest living dog. He turned 31 yesterday.

    1. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      Is that 217 dog years?

  11. atari2600land

    The average lifespan of an oyster is 20 years.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. carlsson

      carlsson

      What is the average lifespan for a first world country oyster?

       

      Also remember that if you stay one night in Bangkok, the world's your oyster.

    3. Wilco

      Wilco

      That would open up a whole new rabbit hole, which parts of the sea would be considered “first world”, and how would it be measured? Would the North Sea be a better place for an oyster to live than let’s say the Yellow Sea? Are the waters around Africa still considered third world, even if they aren’t as polluted as some seas surrounding Europe/the USA?

       

      Maybe I’m looking too far into this, lol

    4. carlsson

      carlsson

      I seem to recall there is a reef planted outside New York, in order to filter the sea water. Supposedly it will take 20 years before the oysters would be safe to start harvest for human consumption.

  12. atari2600land

    I'm not the fig plucker, nor the fig plucker's son, but I'll pluck figs 'till the fig plucker comes.

    1. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      Now that's a tongue twister.

       

    2. Corby

      Corby

      Squeal like a fig for me boy...

  13. atari2600land

    I think part of the reason why the Watara Supervision flopped is its name. How wimpy would it sound for a kid to say "I'm playing...with supervision."?

    1. carlsson

      carlsson

      Perhaps there should have been a handheld called Babysitter.

    2. JacobZu7zu7

      JacobZu7zu7

      Yeah, that ain't gonna fly at recess ... but, they could have came up with a tag like *I'VE GOT GAME, AND I GOT THE VISION... SUPER-VISION!*

  14. atari2600land

    What can I do to prevent wasps from making a hive near my dining room window?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. atari2600land

      atari2600land

      like Bobby?

      f8c2ef6c348c91eee93bf419589b3e8e.thumb.jpg.6dcc09d4ac79b79a67f53e32a664d00b.jpg

    3. jhd

      jhd

      I do not have a solution, but we have this same problem at the cafeteria at work. The wasps apparently like the large floor-to-ceiling windows as much as the people do. 

    4. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      Maybe buy a few cans of Fogger,  the Bug Sprays that blast the whole yard.  And then hit the area you're talking about,  and maybe around the house in high areas in general every day for a week or two.  That way when the wasps are out scouting locations for their hives,  They'll go somewhere else.

  15. atari2600land

    Tried carrot cake for the first time. I didn't like it.

    1. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      My aunt used to make this homemade carrot pudding and I really liked it!  But everyone else in the family would put a spoonful of this ultra sweet frosting on top, but I never liked it.  I'd take mine straight.

    2. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      I find carrot cake to be rather nasty.  

    3. JacobZu7zu7

      JacobZu7zu7

      Store bought carrot cakes are nasty, but homemade carrot cake is sooooo good!!!

  16. atari2600land

    Being hot is literally painful for me. It sucks.

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Lord Mushroom

      Lord Mushroom

      @Atarian7, you did it.

       

      And by golly, I think I did it too. I guess you have to select the name you want from the list, and can´t just keep writing, which is what I did when I failed.

    3. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      I said maybe it has to be listed first but that wasn't it.

       

    4. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      @Lord Mushroom @Atarian7

       

      I believe it is starting with the @ and a few letters,  then selecting from the lust err list,...Well or lust, your choice ;)

       

  17. atari2600land

    I went #3.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. atari2600land

      atari2600land

      I meant vomiting.

    3. jhd

      jhd

      Food poisoning is never good. 🤮

       

      Just be happy that you are not experiencing a #4!  

    4. atari2600land

      atari2600land

      It was a migraine.

  18. atari2600land

    More than 100 people born in Kentucky went on to become governors of other states.

  19. atari2600land

    pooping out blood is stupid. I hate hemmorhoids.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Albert

      Albert

      Welp, that's enough internet for the day.

    3. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      TMI?

    4. GameGirl420

      GameGirl420

      note to self: never eat dinner while looking at AtariAge,cuz you might come across something nasty eww lol..thx for the too much info!

  20. atari2600land

    The day after Thanksgiving is so busy for plumbers that they call it "Brown Friday."

    1. Corby

      Corby

      If only they let it mellow

  21. atari2600land

    It's March 24. It's spring. We got a dusting of snow this morning.

    1. LS650

      LS650

      Vancouver Island here.  2 days ago I mowed my lawn while it was sunny and 15c/59f.  Today it is +2c/36f and I can see fresh snow on the hills on the edge of town.  This winter will not go away!

    2. 7800Knight

      7800Knight

      I am in North Dakota; it is spring and snow is everywhere.  The snowpack is expected to last into April...and maybe even into May!!

    3. MrMaddog

      MrMaddog

      Old Man Winter yells at spring clouds... 🥶

       

      Grampa Simpson Meme GIF by MOODMAN

  22. atari2600land

    The fear of being tickled by feathers is called pteronophobia.

    1. TheGameCollector

      TheGameCollector

      I don't like being tickled by anything. It causes me to flail uncontrollably too so nobody better do it unless they want to risk being accidentally hit by me. I've warned my wife not to do it multiple times.

  23. atari2600land

    A newborn baby octopus is about the size of a flea.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. atari2600land

      atari2600land

      That's the last time I ever read a book!

    3. LS650

      LS650

      Unfortunately we live in an age where we have to question everything we read.

    4. 7800Knight

      7800Knight

      Mother octopi must have a fortune on baby showers.

  24. atari2600land

    Why is Fox Sports using NBC Sports's music?

  25. atari2600land

    Question: Do you think 7:30p.m. is too late for someone to call wanting to do a survey?

    1. fdr4prez

      fdr4prez

      I think any time is too late for a call for a survey

    2. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      Yes.  It's never a good time to get a call from a telemarketer or survey taker.

    3. jhd

      jhd

       

      For about six weeks in 2001 I was between jobs, and so I did telephone surveys since I still needed to eat and pay rent. We always worked evenings (4 until 10 PM or thereabouts). This was a second job for many people. 

       

      There was a day shift too, but they had a different role. I was not there long enough to learn the business, nor did I care. I quit just as soon as I was able to find a better position.

       

      Doing surveys is miserable, soul-destroying work, but we were still able to look down upon the telemarketers who had sales quotas to meet.  😃

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