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Artie the Atari - the (in)complete index
Nathan Strum posted a blog entry in (Insert stupid Blog name here)
As Artie the Atari grinds its way towards its 150th episode, I decided to put an index together of all of the episodes to date. Someday, I'd like to annotate and collect them all into a PDF or iBook, but that may have to wait until episode 300. (Note: since writing that I've gone well past the 300th episode. Still thinking "someday" for the book. ) I'll periodically update the index as new episodes are added. 2007 The first strips! Artie's flickering Adventure: Stripping (includes links to "Carl Wonders" comic strip, from Pitfall Harry's Contest of Doom) Artie's Adventure... continued When Artie flickers, it hertz Is this the end of Artie? Occam's (or Artie's) Razor Darth's first appearance: Use The Force, Artie! (first appearance of large TV) Marty (the Intellivision) is introduced: Introducing... Marty! Bring on the lists! Videogame halitosis? Marty disses Atari! Maybe a Vectrex would have been funnier Artie returns from A/V mod surgery: Artie returns (first appearance of stereo TV) More surgical high jinks Technically, it's a silicon implant No playing Decathlon for two weeks DVI just isn't sexy anymore Pimp my 2600 Not an actual episode: Brog Bloken Artie previews The Last Ninja and N.E.R.D.S: Pre-review 2008 Artie has a breakdown: Based on a true story! (first use of new artwork) Darth fills in while Artie is out for yet-more-surgery: Remember when Darth Vader was still cool? (Darth officially introduced) Technically, it was a hex buffer I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan... So this Bantha walks into a bar... Artie returns from a hex buffer transplant: Back in the saddle again 0100000101110010011101000110100101100101 I cut my finger in the 5th grade Not for the squeamish Actionauts! Happy March 32nd! Mr. Generous Mr. Analogy 4K game No offense intended Making amends Artie dabbles in PAL and SECAM: Off-color humor (first use of color) Introducing: Artie's pal Taste the rainbow Cybergoth leaves the 2600 for a young hussy: Breaking up is hard TODO Arthur (the 7800) is introduced: 7800 is the loneliest number I always found counting tedious, anyway Well, there was Food Fight... Rollin' Along (color strips begin) 2009 Another non-episode: Announcing... The Countdown! "Sweeps week": "Sweeps week" begins! She's quite Sharp (Anna (the TV) officially introduced) What would George Plimpton say? He plays 7800 and 2600 games 7800 - 5200 ≠ 2600 "Sweeps week" redux (first appearance of Artie Jr.) AT860634734 was too hard to pronounce (Artie Jr. introduced) Just like Cousin Oliver Artie's 50th episode! The inevitable reference There's only one way it can end! (first Sunday format strip, first appearance of Marty Jr. (Coleco Electronic Quarterback) and Arnie (Atari 5200)) The end of analog TV broadcasts: Artie presents: Anna Log Behind the scenes: Behind the scenes! Episode 0 (includes pre-Artie strip from 1999) Take that, George Plimpton! Fake burled wood looks cooler anyway (first Sears Tele-Games appearance) 2010 Air Raid sells on eBay: Tuesday Morning Men-Of-Vision? 2600 + 29000 Maybe it would've worked for Actionauts... Or maybe not... Just being helpful Dissing the Atari 5200: Two-for-one No 'Vision The good ol' days Nolan Bushnell returns to Atari: Unca' Nolan Or holiday dinners... Or maybe a fruitcake... See how neatly it all ties together? Don't forget "magical"... (Atari 26,000 (iPad) introduced) One-shot episodes: When artwork sneezes (playing with vector artwork) It's all the rage! (Artie destroys a rare cartridge) 2011 The Empire Strikes Out (Darth in Tron cosplay, strip artwork migrated to Adobe Illustrator) My real-world 2600 dies: Funeral for a friend One last cheap shot... Probably not contagious... A fate worse than death? So much for mourning Things will never be the same... Things will never be the same again... Evil Artie (Sears Tele-Games) is introduced: It's alive! Post-modern Prometheus Probably steals Intellivisions' lunch money Nothing if not topical (first mention of Atari cease and desist letters) Take my Intellivision, please! (first Star Castle mention) You have to start somewhere Snidely would be proud (first appearance of Commodore monitor, Sharp TV and heavy sixer) Atari sends out cease and desist letters: Next up: Magnavox Just like Mike Tyson With apologies to Berke Breathed Countdown to the 100th episode spectacular (consoles mysteriously disappear): Something to look forward to, after the apocalypse Still bitter over that "Star Strike" commercial Quadruple Dunk Now you'll have to go back and re-read them all (Arnie officially introduced, first appearance of tiny TV) Sensing a pattern yet? (first appearance of console TV) Or maybe another Intellivision George never did explain that Episode 99 (in case you weren't counting) (Insert stupid sixth anniversary here) (100th episode, Sunday format, first appearance of zombie E.T. cartridges) Boulder Dash is finally released: Mr. Optimist Mr. Helpful Mr. L33t Gamer Special Limited Edition Artie the Atari: Limited Edition! Pre-order! Boxed! Shipping! Special Christmas episode featuring the entire cast (first appearance of the AtariVox): From all of us! (Sunday format) 2012 Star Castle: Kickstarted A place for everything, and everything in its place Flash to substance ratio Birds of a feather Those E.T. labels are just too hard to peel off Marketing 101 Spending $50... Overpriced Cheap Shot Red Sea Crossing discovered: Red Herring Some reassurance about E.T. Rush out and buy 'em up now! Charlatan! Coda Meanwhile, back in Moab... Air Raid revisited: Sage advice The compleat collector Maybe "Rip Off"? 2013 Sonny (PlayStation 3) is introduced (first appearance of HDTV): The n00b Cassettes were faster Fingerprints notwithstanding Only 3 1/2 hours to go! Not sufficiently beta-tested But at least it's in HD Atari's (latest) bankruptcy: Atari's next chapter (that would be 11) Mmmm... fruit-flavored! I'd gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today Link (Atari Lynx) is introduced: A Handy thing to have Linked In Maybe this is why Gary Larson did it in one Portability, schmortability So close to the finish line, too... PS4 vs. XBox One: He still has some pride, ya' know Besides, we haven't added a ColecoVision yet Sounds like a class action lawsuit to me More waffling than an Eggo factory But at least they're complete (first (and probably only) appearance of XBox One) Boxed games: Thinking outside the box Thinking inside the box Take that, Kickstarter Putting that "Word of the Day" calendar to good use Only 40% sawdust by weight The Lost Episodes: Artie the Atari - The Lost Episodes (Episode 150) Rule #2: Double Tap Too much information I'm lazy like that, yo Princess Rescue's (un)limited edition: What would we do without it? An exclusive club, indeed It's win-win! After all, we wouldn't want to make anyone upset Two birds, one stone Nintendo puts an end to Princess Rescue: Hey, it happened to Sega Voice of experience Voice of reason Every cloud has a silver label 2014 Nintendwoes: Maybe that's their whole problem, right there Historical perspective Biting the hand Now they know how it feels Anything would've been an improvement IMDb it He could share a room with the Pippin The E.T. landfill dig and auctions: Low-hanging fruit New old stock Or Hunt & Score? Concrete not included Because it's easier than making a new one: Christmas Special rerun 2015 My real-world 2600 returns: How soon they forget... It's probably better not to ask Not sure that was the reason... but whatever Austin, probably Easiest strip to write, ever Remembering Radio Shack: Twenty-five, if we were to be honest (Andy (Tandyvision One) is introduced) And occasionally, the "Radio" part too They can take a number Or a crappy pair of walkie-talkies Yeah, him and the Channel F Plus, he has more fake woodgrain "Classic" Artie episodes from 1982: Back in time... Edutainmental Haute cuisine Or maybe "A Flock of Seagulls" Nobody ever said he was an archaeologist "Classic" Artie episodes from 1984: Or one Mythicon game Or in the sock drawer? Can't drive to Toys 'R' Us Take that, George Plimpton (again)! Penultimatum Present-day Artie time-travels back to 1984: Not that kind of Atari Flashback Probably shouldn't mention Infogrames You can't have everything Can a callback to a future joke create a time paradox? Everyone's a critic Two hundred episodes! (Artie's 200th episode - Sunday format, first mention of Vectrex) Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K (Artie's 201st episode) Exclusive interview with the Retro VGS: Artie goes Retro (first non-appearance of the Retro VGS) Maybe the Pippin wasn't available Where are Atari's lawyers when you really need them? The race is on! And none of that pesky "portability" either Sign him up! Don't forget "Skeet Shoot" Woita minute... Another fine MESS you've gotten us into Dissension in the ranks Intellectual property Rock and Roll all night, party every day I'm sure he'll be just fine Probably can't count to 1,950,000 either It's base 32,768 Singin' them Bondi Blues™ Making the Ouya look good Flush with success Return of the RetroVGS Coleco Chameleon: Those wacky RetroVGS funsters are at it again! 2016 Truth is stranger than fiction Pre-Toy Fair interview with the Coleco Chameleon: And Fairchild was too expensive (first non-appearance of the Coleco Chameleon) I'd probably buy a coffee mug Or maybe he's a Herbie Hancock fan Everything old is old again Or maybe Alphabet Zoo? Probably not internationally sanctioned (two episodes!) Roll With The Flow Tools of the trade Your Freudian slip is showing Late to the party He likes games with "blocky" graphics Leveraging the Jaguar's design aesthetic Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain It's all about transparency (first full-page Sunday format strip) The Nintendo Switch: One step forward, two steps back The proverbial bad penny Hint: Search for "Gamevice" Sure... but can you hook up a Power Glove to it? Or an optional sun visor The NES Classic: Get out the ban hammer You're lucky they made any Make room, Alamogordo Nintendoes what Atari did And 6's... and 5's... and 4's... Enter - The Flashback: Still no love for Pac-Man (first appearance of Atari Flashback) They might be funnier that way No animosity there at all Bad Flashback (250th episode) This is why this isn’t a daily strip And whatever else was cheap He ain’t heavy-sixer Now he’s in trouble Well, at least it wasn’t Morris Albert This was pretty-much inevitable (first appearance of Vectrex) 2017 The NES Classic gets Switched: Poetry Corner The camera adds ten pounds The myth and the legend Separated at birth Switched at birth Or just buy a Lynx Coleco vs. Everybody: You learn something new every day A bastion of integrity Because cartridges Way ahead of its time (first appearance of ColecoVision and groovy 70's TV) Radio Shack started the same way It’d look good on a coffee mug Especially the sesame seed buns It’s a hard-knock life Don’t forget to tip the driver Maybe if we bought a Channel F New Kids on the Block - the AtariBox and RetroN 77: So much for that trip to the beach The big rebeal I must’ve missed the first time The more things change... (RetroVGS stands in for the RetroN 77) Trying to work a diphthong into the strip We thank you for your support Maybe Strawberry Shortcake Musical Match-ups? Segue If it was a lunchbox, I’d buy one (RetroVGS stands in for the AtariBox) There is another system And the logo lights up! At least it’s green Gotta pay for it somehow Road trip! Wasn’t he a McDonaldland character? A hallmark of quality Still bitter they sold off Battlezone The SNES Classic (and more Ataribox): Understanding the target demographic Marketing strategy Toys 'Rn't' Us: Buyer’s remorse Or anything with "Coleco" on it The Ataribox literally goes the way of the Chameleon: What...? Did something else happen? Typecasting Proto-typical In time for Toy Fair, probably 2018 CPU Meltdown: Hacks And other sentences nobody has ever said Artie turns 300, 10 and 40: Maximum effort (Artie's 300th episode) Or maybe “Ten Years and Only One Drawing” And 15% off at Denny's Tool-assisted speed-reading RollerCoaster Buffoon: RollerCoaster... of Love (say what?!) How about The Last Ninja? It’s lonely at the top He can pick up some copier toner Interactive entertainment Todd "Mr. Activision" Rogers: Simple as that It's all relative Proof positive (first appearance of Todd's four-switch woody) Maybe a SuperCharger would’ve helped The "Atari Token": Time to bring back the hot tub parties Go with your strengths The Ataribox gets renamed and has its own "Toy Fair moment" at GDC: Aren’t we already? Wrong on so many levels Only eleven more months until Toy Fair A Sharpie would probably do It has more street cred The RetroN 77 pre-announces its pre-order announcement: Moonlighting Billy Mitchell - the man, the mullet, the necktie: Close enough RollerCoaster Tycoon - the end of the ride: Failure is just so boring The Ataribox gets funded: Antici... pation Ticket To Ride Intellivision gets into the act with its own revival console: It either would or wouldn’t have George Plimpton in it The RetroN 77 actually ships: Just trying to make him feel better Drawing conclusions (first actual appearance of the RetroN 77) Try jiggling the cartridge This explains a lot tniop a sah eH Flip flop and ya’ don’t stop 2019 The 2018 Atari Awards: Star Wars lost “Best Picture” to Annie Hall, too Crowded field Fumble brag The Ataribox gets an update! Haters gonna hate Baby steps Kaizen, I suppose Maybe K-Mart The Google Stadia: I already know I’m not going to buy one Part 1 of 2 Part 2 of 1 The CollectorVision Phoenix: Actually they do, just really slowly Maybe it includes a free 65” HDTV in every box Exclusive interview with the Intellivision Amico: Double A (beep beep) M C O Knock out the fat! (first appearance of George) The Le Stick was ahead of its time Semantics And Adam Sessler was too expensive A styrofoam take-out container would’ve also been acceptable It’s still better than an Ataribox (first appearance of Inty, and Artie's 350th episode) 2020 The new reality: This doesn’t bode well for the AtariVox That’s okay, nobody can read it anyway Not to mention greasy fingerprints Strip fatigue At least they're only checking foreheads at work The Ataribox finally ships: I’ll believe it when I don’t see it Pretty sure that wasn’t one of the Magic 8-Ball's answers Or a used PlayStation 3 and twenty free pizzas Christmas Spectacular – The Twelve Days of Christmas (note: not actually twelve episodes): At least it wasn't "Jingle Bells" 2021 New Atari console that Ataribox? So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu Clickbait (first appearance of Tiny Artie) I say, Lionel, catch! The Audacity of some people: From the makers of Laser Blast and Space Jockey And belt buckles Artie's 365th episode (one year's worth): I wouldn’t bet on it 2022 Big game acquisitions: Oh, the Audacity of it all Let the good times roll Ain’t She Sweet Do the math Moron the Amico (sorry, that should've read "More on the Amico"): In before the lock Would you like fries with that? Well, there’s always the Taito WoWoW Bottoms up! We couldn’t make this stuff up I wonder if they have color TVs? Atari collectibles: quality with a capital "K": As long as it looks good on a shelf Achievement unlocked: Compatibility 2023 Atari buys AtariAge (strip returns to being in black and white): Well, about those homebrews... We’re just a little behind Those Alexa-enabled twerking Teddy Bears ain't cheap Probably shouldn’t tell him about the 2600+ Always look on the bright side of life "Resources" Maybe the guys who bought Battlezone would want it Everyone in town knew Mr. Webster .-.. .- ... - -.-. .... .- -. -.-. . Taking the high road Swordquest DumpsterFireWorld? Does it come with armpit speakers? Isn’t that an oxymoron? It’s like the Yugo of 2600s Spam Egg Spam Spam Bacon and Spam Artie moves: I bet the cat didn't have to put up with this Why start now? Free password generator There's no place like... Back in the Seattle again That's why it's pronounced "Oops" We're nothing if not consistent A bargain at half the price! (Artie's 400th episode - now half-off!) And now we have to put them all back So, a guy walks into a credit union... (first appearance of 4K TV) 4:3 or get out Try not to think about it I thought for sure it would've been "Milton" (Vectrex officially introduced as Ray) That would make my teeth itch Revved up like a deuce A Ray by any other name Cut the cord It's just a jump to the left TV or not TV, that is the question Maybe try Weight Watchers first An Artie the Atari Christmas: And you didn't have to pay Apple $9.99 to read it (Super-sized Christmas Special, first appearance of Atari 2600"plus") -
And you didn't have to pay Apple $9.99 to read it
Nathan Strum posted a blog entry in (Insert stupid Blog name here)
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TV or not TV, that is the question
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I thought for sure it would've been "Milton"
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So, a guy walks into a credit union...
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And now we have to put them all back
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I was digging through some old files on my computer, and ran across a few comic strips I did while participating in Pitfall Harry's Contest of Doom. This was in May, 2003, about six months after I signed on at AtariAge. These were done as parodies of Pitfall Harry's strip Crane's World. I named mine Carl Wonders, since it's an anagram of Crane's World, and the contest (a series of puzzles) included anagrams in it (among other things - it was a very tough contest). Anyway, they're still kind of fun, although they don't all make sense out of the context of the contest. The links had been broken for who-knows-how-long, so I fixed them, and they're now back in the original thread. Here are direct links to them, for your enjoyment (or lack thereof): Note: Direct links were broken by a forum "update". So you'll just have to slog through the main topic, one page at a time. Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12 The Final Episode The lost episodes I'd considered reviving this somehow for my blog, but I haven't quite figured out how yet. The contest provided a theme to follow, but without that, it would be difficult to keep it going again. I've also got a couple of comic strips I worked up for the manual for Man Goes Down. I don't know if that game will ever see the light of day, so for now I'll just hang on to those. But I did create one for the manual which I decided to replace, and with that I present: Artie the Atari! Artie may yet come back in more strips someday. If he does, I'll post them to my blog. 1 IndexNext >
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That's why it's pronounced "Oops"
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I bet the cat didn't have to put up with this
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