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  1. Now normally I wouldn't review a football game for this GBA Chronogaming project, but I read about its minigames. I'm not a football freak, I mean I know enough to enjoy it, but I don't know everything about the game. I certainly wouldn't even get one question right in the trivia minigame, so I avoided it like the plague. Instead, I spent most of the time in the mini-game section's two playing football-related ones: Punting field goals (which is so easy a monkey could do it) and another one called "fourth and long", where you replay the same situation over and over: You are at the 50 yard line and it's the fourth down. Before each attempt, you can pick a team as well as the play, but I have no idea what plays even are (my, what pretty red, blue and yellow arrows.) so I just did my best not to get sacked and throw by pressing A to an open man. By the way, you cannot pick who to throw to, it does that for you. The defense is very tough, most of the time I get sacked before the 30 yard line, occasionally I get sacked between 30 and 1, and I remember only three touchdowns I made. And since I don't remember how well any teams were in 2002 (I bet the Seahawks sucked, though!), I was really flying blind. I don't think I'd want to play a full game of this, seeing as how I have no idea how to play defense, but I bet if I enjoy the mini-games and have a little interest in football, football fanatics would really dig this one.
  2. Company: TDK Size: 32 Megabits NP's Rating: 4.5/5 (volume 149 p.123) ESRB Rating: E (Mild Violence) Where have I seen that TDK logo before? Ah yes, on old blank cardboard VHS tape covers! Well, anyway, TDK apparently hit a high note, at least in this GBA game-playing project I'm doing, with a fairly decent platform game. The editors at Nintendo Power think that the game is too easy. Suuuure it is. No, they're wrong. It's kinda difficult, especially when you need to attack enemies with nothing but a sword in the early stages of the game. The graphics give the game a cartoony feel, which is not what the box art predicts (I don't have the box, but I'm looking at a picture of it in NP). And although it's better than most of the other games I've played thus far, I doubt I'll give this a second spin. Question for NP editors: if you think the game is too easy, then why is your collective rating a 4.5/5? My rating: 6 (out of 10)
  3. Another one of those games. Yep, this one is really stupid, and one of the worst I've played so far. Everything, from the NES-quality music, to the gameplay, reeks of stupidity. The game play's main problem is YOU CAN'T JUMP. And most of the moves are with button combinations, like R+A equals shooting, while L+B equals running left. I have an idea, but it's far too late: Why not make the A button make your character jump?! Because of the jumpless feature, I fell some place where I couldn't get out of. And it really needs a jumping feature because the game is similar to Elevator Action. And, finally, to top the stupidity all off, the game uses passwords. Yep, if you own the game and google it, you can play the final stage, although when the game is this bad, who would want to? This game is so bad, you can't play it. If you ever see this game in a store, run away screaming like a little girl. rating: broken
  4. The problem with Tetris Worlds is that pressing up makes the place fall down to the very bottom without any chance of making it move left or right. Or maybe that isn't, I'm not sure. Even though I never press up, sometimes it acts like I did, which screws up the entire game, especially on the later levels. If they hadn't have made that stupid change in the controls, Tetris Worlds would have been enjoyable. But no. Some idiot had to go design that "hard drop" thing. And it isn't just on my Game Boy Micro, either. When I had the instruction booklet when I had the game before I had a Game Boy Micro, I had the exact same problem, and the instruction booklet does not explain why it does that. If I were you, I'd just get Tetris DX for Game Boy Color. It's basically the same game without the stupid hard drop thing. up next: "Dexter's Laboratory: Deesaster Strikes!"
  5. I must admit, I didn't watch the movie. And even if I did, it was released nine years ago, so I would have probably forgotten what it was about. So I was going into the game knowing nothing of the characters and plot. What I found was typical of platformers: Difficult, although I was able to get past level 1, I gave the game three chances to get past level 2, but it didn't want me to get past it, so I quit. I could just look up the passwords on the internet, but I don't want to for two reasons: #1 - if the game is hard on level 2, I don't even want to attempt level 3. #2 - Complete and total apathy. This game is not engaging in the least to me, probably because of its level of difficulty. Remind you, this is a game that is based on a Disney movie, so it should have been easy, if not easier. up next: ESPN X-Games Skateboarding (whoopee.)
  6. Fortress Company: Majesco Size: 32 Megabits NP's rating: 3/5 (v. 147 p. 117) I guess Fortress is one of those games I just don't "get." The concept is this: blocks fall from the sky like Tetris, but instead of getting complete lines, your job is to build walls to protect the title object. I guess it would be kind of fun in 2-player mode, but the 1-player mode vs. computer really sucks, especially since the computer attacks your fort more than you attack its. I'd pass on this one. Up next: Mario Kart: Super Circuit
  7. Company: KonamiRelease Date: June 2001Size: 64 MegabitsNP's rating: 5/5 (v.146 p.114)ESRB rating: T - mild violence, animated bloodThis game is not worthy enough to use to wipe my butt with. It's another one of those games where I can't pass level 1. And you only get one life? Fail. How is one supposed to defeat the poison worms on the ground if you can't whip them? How in the hell are you supposed to know when that stupid Earth Demon is going to attack? Why is the game so f---in' hard? This has to be one of the worst video games I have ever played, not just in this blog, but for all my 27 years of life. I have to go now, I'm going to play E.T. and Pac-Man on my Atari 2600.up next: Either Ready 2 Rumble Round 2 or Top Gear GT Championship Racing.
  8. Company: KonamiRelease Date: June 2001 (launch)Size: 32 MegabitsNP's rating: 3.5/5 (v.145 p.117)ESRB rating: EA bunch of Japanese video game characters take to their go-karts and emulate Mario Kart. That is the basis, and it does what it's supposed to pretty well. Since I didn't want to go through all the rigamarole of unlocking new courses with what sounds like a stupid license-earning thing, I just had someone else do it for me (I cheated and used one of the save slots that had every track unlocked.) Sometimes it's eerily similar to Mario Kart, and you wonder why Nintendo didn't sue, since most of the things in here are also in Mario Kart: Super Circuit (which was released two months later.) But aside from Goemon and Castlevania's Dracula, I didn't recognize any other faces. The track themes are similar (although this one has more Rainbow Road-themed tracks): Castle, Sky, Ice, etc., there are similar items, but although the game is good, I would just prefer playing Mario Kart, unless you would like to race as Goemon.
  9. Company: MajescoRelease Date: June 2001 (launch title)Size: 32 MegabitsNP's rating: 3/5ESRB's rating: E, mild violence"Oh, goody! Pitfall!" I thought as I first put this game in the Game Boy Micro's slot. I was highly disappointed. David Crane must be spinning in his grave. What? He's alive? Well, he's not making games any more anyway. The result of bringing Pitfall to the Game Boy Advance is a graphic upgrade, and basically what it is is an Earthworm Jim clone with jungle elements with a literally impossible first level boss. I mean, how are you supposed to attack this lion coming at you with nothing but a whip and automatically get hurt each time you do it? Before the boss, though, there is a bit of "where do I go?" questioning, and one false move can get you behind pretty far. And there is no average health meter, instead a picture of Harry and an alligator, with each painful infliction getting Harry closer to it. You lose a life when the Harry icon gets eaten by the gator icon. A pathetic attempt to be clever. Just give me a stinkin' health meter! This game is extremely difficult, and if you want Pitfall on the GBA, it's much better to just get Activision Anthology.
  10. Let me just start out by saying this game is too difficult to be enjoyable. Yes, one of those games again. In Tang Tang, your job is to go around making blocks to get rings and then find the exit. It's like Solomon's Key for the NES, basically. But there are stupid enemies, and you only get three shots per level. Yes, you heard me right. How lame is that? And these levels consist of different stages, or screens. There is only one suggestion I can make to this game: ADD INFINITE SHOTS. Even with infinite blocks you can build, this still isn't enough to warrant getting, unless you like swearing and getting angry at games. Level 1 is unbeatable since you only have three shots. And these boss levels, I have no idea what to do here. You can't shoot them, so why bother making them? Again, if you had infinite shots, you could have made this a shoot the boss until he explodes level, but noooo, the creators were too dumb to go that route. Morons.
  11. This is quite possibly the dumbest game I have played for this blog. Yes, kids, it's even worse than the Castlevania debacle I experienced. I think there are two main problems I had with this game. #1 - I never watched the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers so I had no idea who anyone was. #2 - the game is just so damned hard. I mean, there is this mine in a level where there there is a hole. While you are supposed to fall down some holes to progress in the level, once you fall down this particular one, you die. Nobody ever told me, I had no clue, yet there were a whole bunch of clues that helped me to progress up until that point. The plot is stupid: Some evil guy wants to take over the past. So I went down a mine shaft. The game is basically like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, where you go and slash up enemies as you progress, but the other game which I had as a kid was much better. This one is so stupid, it's ridiculous. It's like the movies the crew of MST3K make fun of, although you won't be making fun of it, you'll turn off your GBA, go to the bathroom and flush the game down the toilet, but not before vomiting. Up next: Tang Tang.
  12. OK, when being a superhero, one thing is important: The ability to swim. Apparently, Spider-Man hadn't taken swim lessons as a kid. Easy mode is too hard. Yep, another one of THOSE games. And yet another slug-fest a la TMNT2 for the NES (and apparently the arcade, although it's a lot more fun on the NES if you have a front loader and a Game Genie.) I don't know why every superhero game has to do this. The X-Men did this, and now Spider-Man. And apparently Spider-Man isn't a very good superhero. Oh sure, he can shoot webs and stuff, but it seems like he's really weak. A few bullets really does damage to his health meter. Superman has the ability to have bullets bounce off his chest. Aqua Man can swim. Maybe Spidey needs to take a few more lessons in superhero school. I was able to clear downtown OK, but Pier 54 was where I learned that Spider-Man can't swim. Some idiot enemy punched me off a few boxes that were apparently magically floating in mid air and I fell to my death a few times. That is when I knew I was defeated and so I turned the GBA off, never to play this one again unless I feel like torturing myself, which might happen because it has passwords. I never did get any passwords when I beat the downtown level, but in the main menu it has a place to enter them, so... This concludes September of 2011. On to October!
  13. Yeah, I used to watch it when it was on Cartoon Network. It wasn't that great of a show, but the Game Boy Advance game is, well, a deesaster. The trouble is, it's too difficult. You move around in an environment similar to the classic arcade game Marble Madness, trying to collect clones of Dexter's sister, Dee Dee. Only trouble is, there's way too many enemies and the environment is totally way too big with doors and portals and stuff. The map, selected with the select button, doesn't really help at all. I was expecting a 2D side-scroller and what I got was a 3D collectathon. A sucky one, at that. This is made by the same people who made the awful Powerpuff Girls game for the N64 (which was, surprisingly, released AFTER this game was!) Well, anyway, avoid this like the plague.
  14. I am not a big fan of baseball. I expected to go through this for a minute or two before saying "It sucks" and never playing again. Well, that is true, but not for the reason I had expected: Three batters later in the top of the first inning, I was down 3-0. That's right, a home run each and every time for the computer. (If only the Mariners were that good in real life!) I knew then that this was exactly like the Game Boy Baseball debacle I had earlier. Why isn't there a FAIR baseball game for a system? One that doesn't have the computer hitting home runs all the time? And as long as I'm asking pointless questions, why don't I have a million dollars? Up next: Klonoa (although I'm having a tough time trying to find it for cheap.)
  15. This game isn't very good. First off, I don't know how to play skateboarding games. That puts this game at a disadvantage before I even put it in the Game Boy Micro. Once I did, I tried the practice thing (in this game called Freeskate). The only thing I could do is make the guy jump by pressing A or make him twirl and jump at the same time by pressing either R or L shoulder buttons. The way you move around in the park is reminiscent of Skateboardin' for the 2600, which is kind of stupid because you'd think the GBA would have the capability of scrolling the park around. Anyway, basically, it's one of those games that even if I had an instruction manual, I still wouldn't know what the heck I'd be doing. up next: Rocket Power: Dream Scheme
  16. (I couldn't find the Nintendo Power issue that had this game in it, so no specs this time.) This is an interesting game where these red and blue potatoes scroll up the screen. You control a car (or something) with six potatoes in it (two rows of three each). Your job is to launch the potatoes from the car to make matches and clear the potatoes out of the way so the car can go through. This is a good example of a new concept presented in a good way. I didn't expect much from BAM!, but I was underexpecting this one. Although the graphics aren't all that great (I think this could have been done on the GBC), graphics aren't really all that much of a concern in a puzzle game. up next: Bomberman Tournament.
  17. Company: Midway Release Date: June 2001 (launch title) Size: 32 Megabits NP's Rating: 2.5/5 (v.145 p. 119) ESRB Rating: E For those of you following along at home (or at work where you're not supposed to), you may have noticed a trend in my GBA Chronogaming blog section: I don't like very many of these games. Well, you can add this list to the sucks pile. Basically what it is is random button-mashing, hoping (and it does get your hopes up) that one of the punches hits the computer. Once I got knocked out in round one and the countdown started, i turned it off in disgust. Mind you this was even on easy mode. I am really wondering whether I should continue this. I mean, the GBA is an amazing handheld system, but as it turns out, I guess I don't like very many games for it. The only games I've even come close to liking are Konami Krazy Racers, Super Mario Advance, and ChuChu Rocket. up next: Top Gear GT Championship
  18. Company: ActivisionSize: 64 MegabitsRelease: 6/01 (launch title)NP's rating: 5/5 (v.146 p.115)ESRB rating: E (animated blood)OK, I am not a skater. If I tried to get on a skateboard, I would probably fall down. So, not knowing what I was doing, I went into this confused. I picked "free skate", which is just doing whatever you want without worrying about scores or anything else. The game looks like something the N64 would do (I haven't played the N64 version), which means great graphics for the little handheld. But unfortunately, the 3D graphics are a bit disorienting. Are you on a ramp or next to it? After doing a bunch of nollies and other things I had no idea what I was doing, I decided this game is not going to make me want to go out and skate. This is the kind of game that made me wonder why to do this GBA chronogaming blog. I mean, what did I get into? There is good news, though: only 5 more launch games to go! But I have to find them first.
  19. Company: Majesco size: 64 MB NP's Now PLaying review: vol. 145, page 118 (3/5) When I saw that Earthworm Jim had been remade for GBA, I thought "Hmm. I remember that, kind of mediocre." Of course, the last time I played the game was on the SNES 15 years ago or so. Playing the GBA version reminded me why I got rid of it. The game is insanely difficult, partly because the play control sucks and the controls themselves are weird. You jump with the B button and shoot with the A. And it's difficult to kill the enemies, too. In level 1, the level design makes it difficult to shoot the rabid dogs and crows coming at you. And the bosses are even tougher. I know what they're trying to do with the guy that barfs up frogs when you hit his butt with a box, and I do like the humor involved, but the insane difficulty level makes it very hard to appreciate. Cows...in...space! Launch the bovine, Jim. Also, the non-linear platforming levels makes it very difficult to try and figure out where to go. I got stuck on level 2 (called "What the Heck?!") twice because i couldn't figure out where to go because it seemed like it was a dead-end. So we've got crappy play control, crappy controls, crappy level design, crappy enemies. What does that make this game? Wrong. More like "sucky." rating: 3.5/10
  20. Taking a page from Mezrabad, I've decided to do my own chronogaming thing on my 2nd favorite handheld, the Game Boy Advance (the first being the DS. My Lynx is 3rd. I'm sorry all you Lynx fans, but Lynx does not have Mario or Mario Kart.) I'll start with 2001 and go all the way until the end of 2006. I'm not going to do the games I can't find (since I can't find them. ), but I need to look for most of them. So, starting with the launch titles, here is Super Mario Advance. company: Nintendo size: 32 MB NP's Now Playing review: vol. 145, page 117 (3.5/5) The game is a port of the American version of Super Mario Bros. 2 (Doki Doki Panic without Mario and the gang in Japan) with a bunch of extra stuff thrown in. Mario and the gang have voices. Toad's is the worst, stupid annoying shrill high-pitched voice, but unfortunately, he's the best character in the game besides Peach. Fortunately, Mario sounds like his normal self, and so do Luigi and Peach. These voices I think were put in to show off the capabilities of the new machine. Another drawback is that the bosses have voices, too. Birdo's is the worst, but puts to rest "is Birdo female or male?" debate. This is definitely a woman. "This is as far as you go!" she says at the end of 1-1. I highly doubt it. The green one says "I'm gonna finish you off!" which she did at the end of 7-1 (twice, I got two game overs.) I don't even know why there is a lives counter since once you get game over, you start at the beginning of the stage you died in (if you die in 7-2, for example, you start at the beginning of 7-2.) Fortunately, all the warps are the same as in the original version, and you can jump while holding a potion (something you can do in SMAS but not in the NES version.) And also introduced (but not seen in any other game) are huge Shy-Guys. If you pick them up and then drop them on the ground without killing any other enemies, you get a free heart. If you're missing a few, just repeat, the giant Shy-Guys don't die. Basically, if you liked SMB2, you'll like this game. Also included in this (and all future Super Mario Advances) is a port of the original arcade Mario Bros. game. While it does have some graphic changes, it's still basically the same thing as the original. I'm sorry, but I like the Atari 2600 version better. Final Score: 7.5/10. Next times: The rest of the launch titles (those I can find, anyway): Rayman Advance, F-Zero: Maximum Velocity, Pinobee: Wings of Adventure, Super Dodge Ball Advance, Konami Krazy Racers, Earthworm Jim, Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure, Iridion 3D, Ready 2 Rumble Boxing Round 2, Top Gear GT Championship, Fire Pro Wrestling (whew!)
  21. I am not good with flight sims. This is why I am not liking this one. There is an option on this game's title screen where you practice to land on an aircraft carrier. I crash every time I try it, and the frustrating part is I don't know why. Moving on to the game itself, it's basically Battlezone in the air. I shot down two airplanes and then had no idea of what I was to do next. I read the instructions on how to maneuver the plane, but still didn't understand anything. The good thing is that I knew this game wasn't going to be a good experience from the time I ordered it. This ranks right up there as one of (if not) the worst game of this whole blog section. up next: X-Men: Reign of Apocalypse.
  22. Advance Wars company: Nintendo Release Date: 9/10/2001 (ironically the day before an actual war broke out) Rating: E for Everyone OK, I have decided NOT to do X-Men: Reign of Apocalypse (unless I find it locally) because it just costs way too much on eBay. First off, I'm not really into strategy games or RPGs. This is a combination of the two, and, after learning a little about the game in the two training missions so far, I can't say that this is a bad game. In fact, it is going better than I had hoped, in the fact that I actually am understanding the game. It will probably be much harder in the coming missions, though. But still, even if I lose, I will understand why, although I won't understand why they had to make it so hard. Also, starting with this review, I will actually give out numbered ratings! So here they are: Graphics/Sound: 5 - The graphics here don't really play a major factor here, as all you need to display are a grid and troops on it, I guess kind of like Risk? Difficulty: 4 - For me, easier is better, so lower on this number is good. There is still a lot I haven't gotten to yet, so this is me being liberal with my ratings. Game Play/Idea: 7 - Back in 2001 when this game was released, there were fewer army games back then. Although calling this an army game would be calling Army Men Advance an army game. Now you've got more realistic army games (which I don't play). The idea was good and IMO presented good. up next: NFL Blitz 20-02
  23. This looks like a game I wouldn't be interested in. Played the Training Mode, which is good to get a feel for the game without actually starting a new file. Basically what you do is walk around like Link trying to solve puzzles and stuff. The movement is kinda difficult, especially trying to throw those dumb turtles and use them as stepping stones across water. And so is diagonal movement, which is kind of necessary for the game. Plus, I figured the fact that Lego in its title would lend one to believe that the whole place is made out of Legos. No. The people in the game don't much resemble the Lego people I'm used to when I was growing up. I guess more people would buy the game if they put "Lego" in the title, although you'd think that would only attract nothing but Lego fans. Not really a good little title, although it tries.
  24. There are two clear things I hate and love about this game. The thing I hate is: They brought the coins back! Why? Did people actually *miss* them or something? Luckily, we haven't seen them since, but having them in GP 150cc just makes the game worse and harder. The one thing I love, however, is the Quick Run option. This allows you to pick any track, but doesn't keep track of points, like the other later versions with one player vs. options (Mario Kart DS and Mario Kart Wii.) I was also disappointed that they integrated a ratings system in GP mode (I have yet to get above a D in Star and Special cups in 150cc mode.) And the tracks that are unlockable are those in Super Mario Kart! I mean, if you wanted to play them, why not just pop in the SNES version? I wish they would make all new tracks instead of bringing back the retro tracks like they do nowadays. Imagine having something like 32 all-new tracks and no retro ones in the next Mario Kart. That would be cool! Anyway, Mario Kart: SC comes in 4th out of 6 in the Mario Kart series. But that's only because all the other Mario Kart versions are way awesome. This is a very good game, albeit frustratingly hard sometimes. If you love racing games and don't have this game, there's something wrong with you! Although Mario Kart DS is IMO better than MK:SC, SC is still a good game, and probably one of the best GBA games I'll ever play in this blog category.
  25. Company: 3DO Release: 6/11/01 - Launch Title Size: 32 Megabits NP's Rating: 3/5 (v. 146 p.117) ESRB Rating: E (mild violence) This plays like an uber-hard version of Doom. I just don't get how the game expects you to not get hurt when there's three men shooting at you at the same time. I can't complete the first mission because of this fact. And that's on Easy setting. So suffice to say, I don't like the game. The game is basically going around trying to shoot as many tan army men as possible. The game's graphics go for a more cartoonish look rather than realistic men. And with no way to regain health, it's basically a sucky shmup. This ends the launch titles! And up next, I handle a Hot Potato!
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