14 signs you're addicted to Jumping Flash

[Segataritensoftii]

14 signs you're addicted to Jumping Flash

 

1. You or your parents find holes in the ceiling each morning

2. You're trying to invent a pair of electromagnetic spring shoes that you proclaim to be "ze most hippity hopping crome und shteel shoes around".

3. You're outdoor sessions are spent jumping across rooftops trying to find metal carrots called "jetpods" and the coveted "Exit".

4. You instinctively try to maim any midgets with Hawaiian shirts that you find.

5. you jump off church steeples thinking you can triple jump to the next building, but end up twisting your leg on the pavement.

6. You have pyromaniacal tendencies to fire off fireworks, cherry bombs, and roman candles at large vehicles

7. you are a member of the "flat earth" society

8. you make robotic squeaking noises whenever you walk and cute springy noises whenever you jump

9. You are unable to understand why there are no floating platforms in earth's atmosphere

10. whenever you see a Kiwi, you're first thought is to jump on it.

11. You have been arrested multiple times for fiercely guarding and sometimes shoplifting footstools and jellyfish plush toys.

12. There have been reports of an Unidentified Flying Object around the neighborhood that can only be described as a piece of dirt with a propeller attached to the bottom

13. Reports have come in reporting a mysterious person wearing metal shoes walking on top of various passenger jets during flight.

14. Your only amusement park venture goes belly up after hundreds of deaths from the unstable rides and a mass boycott.

Edited June 26, 2007 by Segataritensoftii

[Scumdogg]

You should edit this topic title to "Ten signs you're addicted to Jumping Flash", rather than another "teh funnies" title.

[skem]

It could just be me, but everytime you post a new thread they are actually really boring. I am not sure if you joined to try and be funny with your posts or if you actually collect anything. Don't mean it in any kind of offensive way, just being honest.

[n8littlefield]

1. You or your parents find holes in the ceiling each morning

2. You're trying to invent a pair of electromagnetic spring shoes that you proclaim to be "ze most hippity hopping crome und shteel shoes around".

3. You're outdoor sessions are spent jumping across rooftops trying to find metal carrots called "jetpods" and the coveted "Exit".

4. You instinctivly try to maim any midgets with hawaiian shirts that you find.

5. you jump off church steeples thinking you can triple jump to the next building, but end up twisting your leg on the pavement.

6. You have pyro maniacal tendencies to fire off fireworks, cherry bombs, and roman candles at large vehicles

7. you are a member of the "flat earth" society

8. you make robotic squeaking noises whenever you walk and cute springy noises whenever you jump

9. You are unable to understand why there are no floating platforms in earth's atmosphere

10. whenever you see a Kiwi, you're first thought is to jump on it.

 

Are you looking for detailed feedback? I hope so because that's what I'm doing

 

Your ideas for each number are very good actually, it's more that they could be worded better to me to get a better punch from the ideas. I'm far from an expert, being in my humorless call center job, but here are some of my suggestions using your themes...

 

1. You have Home Depot on speed dial due to frequent ceiling repairs.

2. Your attempts to invent electromagnetic spring shoes have resulted in the loss of a refridgerator, 2 toaster ovens and an elderly man's pacemaker.

3. The police have responded twice to you being on the edge of a rooftop mumbling about finding "the exit"

4. You have been placed under a restraining order to not come within 50 feet of little people wearing floral shirts.

5. You spent 6 weeks in the hospital after what became known as "The Triple Jumping Incident"

6. Every fireworks store in town has your photo behind the counter under strict "Do Not Serve" orders.

7. You are a member of the "Flat Earth" Society (I liked this one)

8. The squeaking noises from your shoes have been known to attract the neighborhood dogs.

9. You constantly scan the sky looking for floating platforms

10. You have been banned from the produce section due to repeated kiwi stompings.

 

I don't know if they are much better than yours but simply variations on what you did. I would maybe start with a list like 1. ceiling damage and brainstorm different ways to express that before settling on the final version. I have no idea if that helps, I'm absolutely no expert, but that's my 2 cents.

Edited June 22, 2007 by n8littlefield

[AtariJr]

It could just be me, but everytime you post a new thread they are actually really boring. I am not sure if you joined to try and be funny with your posts or if you actually collect anything. Don't mean it in any kind of offensive way, just being honest.

 

i agree, but ill be offensive for you.... shut up.

[Quadhorn]

I'm far from an expert, being in my humorless call center job, but here are some of my suggestions using your themes...

...

I don't know if they are much better than yours but simply variations on what you did.

No, they are much better.

 

Aside from the grammatical problems, there's a blandness about the bare stating of events in the originals that kills any chance of them being funny (#7 excepted). Jokes generally need a set up and a punchline. In one-liners there has to be some element of obscurity to prevent the reader / listener guessing what's coming.

 

To use an old (and somewhat biggoted) but simple example:

[stereotypical Irish Bashing]

 

Irishmen fall off floors they fall off 'cos they're so stupid.

Two Irishmen were sitting on the floor ... and one fell off.

 

[/stereotypical Irish Bashing]

 

One works(ish), one doesn't. Side by side, the originals read more like an attempt to un-funny n8's versions.

 

Sega-etc, is English your first language? If not, you need to realise that the changes in grammar and culture make translating comedy from one language to another difficult. One-liners doubly so. Maybe these work for you (they can, as n8 has shown), but I'm guessing it's mainly due to the delay it takes to translate it in your head to whatever your first language is. There's a Finnish Star Trek parody called Star Wreck that works for the Finnish for exactly that reason; they translate the "tech speak" into Finnish. Normally the Finnish-dubbed Star Trek uses the English for technical terms, so it's what they're used to. When the tech speak is properly translated into Finnish, the translated versions sound strange and amusing to them. One of the few successful multi-lingual comedians is Eddie Izzard; his French tours only work because he's completely fluent in French.

 

Sega-etc, fair do's trying - English is far from easy to learn and the grammar all but impossible - but the originals just don't work.

[Scumdogg]

I'm still saying that a lot of it is in the presentation rather than a comment. Make your wacky threads if you must, but don't be quite so obvious in the topic title. It's akin to a stand-up comedian using this format:

 

"I am telling a joke"

*insert joke here*

"Now i will tell you another joke"

*insert joke here*

"If you didn't like that joke, how about this attempt at a joke?"

*insert joke here*

 

Adjustments to the topic title won't necessarily make the contents more funny, but they'll at least wash off some of the desperation stink.

[Segataritensoftii]

I'm far from an expert, being in my humorless call center job, but here are some of my suggestions using your themes...

...

I don't know if they are much better than yours but simply variations on what you did.

No, they are much better.

 

Aside from the grammatical problems, there's a blandness about the bare stating of events in the originals that kills any chance of them being funny (#7 excepted). Jokes generally need a set up and a punchline. In one-liners there has to be some element of obscurity to prevent the reader / listener guessing what's coming.

 

To use an old (and somewhat biggoted) but simple example:

[stereotypical Irish Bashing]

 

Irishmen fall off floors they fall off 'cos they're so stupid.

Two Irishmen were sitting on the floor ... and one fell off.

 

[/stereotypical Irish Bashing]

 

One works(ish), one doesn't. Side by side, the originals read more like an attempt to un-funny n8's versions.

 

Sega-etc, is English your first language? If not, you need to realise that the changes in grammar and culture make translating comedy from one language to another difficult. One-liners doubly so. Maybe these work for you (they can, as n8 has shown), but I'm guessing it's mainly due to the delay it takes to translate it in your head to whatever your first language is. There's a Finnish Star Trek parody called Star Wreck that works for the Finnish for exactly that reason; they translate the "tech speak" into Finnish. Normally the Finnish-dubbed Star Trek uses the English for technical terms, so it's what they're used to. When the tech speak is properly translated into Finnish, the translated versions sound strange and amusing to them. One of the few successful multi-lingual comedians is Eddie Izzard; his French tours only work because he's completely fluent in French.

 

Sega-etc, fair do's trying - English is far from easy to learn and the grammar all but impossible - but the originals just don't work.

English is my first language. I kinda need to work on my grammar skills a bit... Edited June 23, 2007 by Segataritensoftii

[A Sprite]

1. You or your parents find holes in the ceiling each morning

2. You're trying to invent a pair of electromagnetic spring shoes that you proclaim to be "ze most hippity hopping crome und shteel shoes around".

3. You're outdoor sessions are spent jumping across rooftops trying to find metal carrots called "jetpods" and the coveted "Exit".

4. You instinctivly try to maim any midgets with hawaiian shirts that you find.

5. you jump off church steeples thinking you can triple jump to the next building, but end up twisting your leg on the pavement.

6. You have pyro maniacal tendencies to fire off fireworks, cherry bombs, and roman candles at large vehicles

7. you are a member of the "flat earth" society

8. you make robotic squeaking noises whenever you walk and cute springy noises whenever you jump

9. You are unable to understand why there are no floating platforms in earth's atmosphere

10. whenever you see a Kiwi, you're first thought is to jump on it.

 

Are you looking for detailed feedback? I hope so because that's what I'm doing

 

Your ideas for each number are very good actually, it's more that they could be worded better to me to get a better punch from the ideas. I'm far from an expert, being in my humorless call center job, but here are some of my suggestions using your themes...

 

1. You have Home Depot on speed dial due to frequent ceiling repairs.

2. Your attempts to invent electromagnetic spring shoes have resulted in the loss of a refridgerator, 2 toaster ovens and an elderly man's pacemaker.

3. The police have responded twice to you being on the edge of a rooftop mumbling about finding "the exit"

4. You have been placed under a restraining order to not come within 50 feet of little people wearing floral shirts.

5. You spent 6 weeks in the hospital after what became known as "The Triple Jumping Incident"

6. Every fireworks store in town has your photo behind the counter under strict "Do Not Serve" orders.

7. You are a member of the "Flat Earth" Society (I liked this one)

8. The squeaking noises from your shoes have been known to attract the neighborhood dogs.

9. You constantly scan the sky looking for floating platforms

10. You have been banned from the produce section due to repeated kiwi stompings.

 

I don't know if they are much better than yours but simply variations on what you did. I would maybe start with a list like 1. ceiling damage and brainstorm different ways to express that before settling on the final version. I have no idea if that helps, I'm absolutely no expert, but that's my 2 cents.

 

^Prophet.

 

By now you're probably sick of seeing me, but do yourself a favor, if you want to learn how to deliver comedy -

 

Rent "the Aristocrats". It's about telling the dirtiest joke ever told, but it's all about the art of the set-up... it's as close as you'll ever get to a class on the subject.

[Segataritensoftii]

^Prophet.

 

By now you're probably sick of seeing me, but do yourself a favor, if you want to learn how to deliver comedy -

 

Rent "the Aristocrats". It's about telling the dirtiest joke ever told, but it's all about the art of the set-up... it's as close as you'll ever get to a class on the subject.

Hmm... Maybe that'll work. I'll see if I can't rent it on my next swing-by to the video store. By the way, have you seen the the extra on the Monty Python and the Holy Grail DVD with the english subtitled Japanese translation of the movie? It's amazing how profoundly messed up and unfunny the jokes became in the translation. I knew full well that the Japanese/English language barrier was pretty big, but not that huge! Some of the jokes are rendered completely incomprehensible such as "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!", which became "We can tell who your parents were just by looking at you.". Edited June 23, 2007 by Segataritensoftii

[Jess Ragan]

You try too hard. Let it come naturally. Humor can't be forced.

 

JR

[Atariman]

You try too hard. Let it come naturally. Humor can't be forced.

 

JR

 

Oh, I dunno. I'm sure you could at least get a nervous laugh out of someone if you had them at gunpoint.

[Jess Ragan]

You try too hard. Let it come naturally. Humor can't be forced.

 

JR

 

Oh, I dunno. I'm sure you could at least get a nervous laugh out of someone if you had them at gunpoint.

 

Don't give him any ideas!

 

JR

[Segataritensoftii]

You try too hard. Let it come naturally. Humor can't be forced.

 

JR

 

Oh, I dunno. I'm sure you could at least get a nervous laugh out of someone if you had them at gunpoint.

 

Don't give him any ideas!

 

JR

Don't worry, I won't try it. By the way, have you seen any floating platforms anywhere?

[Atarifever]

I'm still saying that a lot of it is in the presentation rather than a comment. Make your wacky threads if you must, but don't be quite so obvious in the topic title. It's akin to a stand-up comedian using this format:

 

"I am telling a joke"

*insert joke here*

"Now i will tell you another joke"

*insert joke here*

"If you didn't like that joke, how about this attempt at a joke?"

*insert joke here*

 

Adjustments to the topic title won't necessarily make the contents more funny, but they'll at least wash off some of the desperation stink.

I agree totally. This topic would have sparked some discussion if it'd just been titled "10 signs you're addicted to Jumping Flash" as you suggested. I'd have read it, smiled at the two I thought were kind of funny and maybe mentioned that I hadn't really played that one. No one would have insulted the list, and I'm pretty sure it'd have had some added by other posters. With the current title the point of the thread is just "tell me if I'm funny" and no discussion of the game has followed.

Edited June 24, 2007 by Atarifever

[SINGLE TOOTH]

I liked when you said tell me if im funny.

 

But jumping flash is an unfunny topic...

 

 

He jumped on my scrotum once, and i have a personal vendetta about his balls.

[Segataritensoftii]

I'm still saying that a lot of it is in the presentation rather than a comment. Make your wacky threads if you must, but don't be quite so obvious in the topic title. It's akin to a stand-up comedian using this format:

 

"I am telling a joke"

*insert joke here*

"Now i will tell you another joke"

*insert joke here*

"If you didn't like that joke, how about this attempt at a joke?"

*insert joke here*

 

Adjustments to the topic title won't necessarily make the contents more funny, but they'll at least wash off some of the desperation stink.

I agree totally. This topic would have sparked some discussion if it'd just been titled "10 signs you're addicted to Jumping Flash" as you suggested. I'd have read it, smiled at the two I thought were kind of funny and maybe mentioned that I hadn't really played that one. No one would have insulted the list, and I'm pretty sure it'd have had some added by other posters. With the current title the point of the thread is just "tell me if I'm funny" and no discussion of the game has followed.

Too bad there's no way for me to change the topic title. I tried a similar thread to the one you suggested on Joejoe, but no one seems to know what I'm talking about. Maybe I picked the wrong audience.

 

edit: Never mind. I just changed the topic title in the original post. However, I fear the damage may have already been done.

Edited June 26, 2007 by Segataritensoftii

[jbanes]

Rent "the Aristocrats". It's about telling the dirtiest joke ever told, but it's all about the art of the set-up... it's as close as you'll ever get to a class on the subject.

Me: Hmm... that's an interesting suggestion. What do you call it?

A Sprite: The Aristocrats!

[Atarifever]

edit: Never mind. I just changed the topic title in the original post. However, I fear the damage may have already been done.

Just don't do it again, and I'm sure any "damage" will prove very minimal. You did start the awesome "worst console list" thread when you just, you know, made a topic. I'm sure you're plenty funny, but don't try to force it.

[n8littlefield]

^Prophet.

 

By now you're probably sick of seeing me, but do yourself a favor, if you want to learn how to deliver comedy -

 

Rent "the Aristocrats". It's about telling the dirtiest joke ever told, but it's all about the art of the set-up... it's as close as you'll ever get to a class on the subject.

Hmm... Maybe that'll work. I'll see if I can't rent it on my next swing-by to the video store. By the way, have you seen the the extra on the Monty Python and the Holy Grail DVD with the english subtitled Japanese translation of the movie? It's amazing how profoundly messed up and unfunny the jokes became in the translation. I knew full well that the Japanese/English language barrier was pretty big, but not that huge! Some of the jokes are rendered completely incomprehensible such as "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!", which became "We can tell who your parents were just by looking at you.".

Don't take this personally as I don't have a clue how old you are - but if you are under a roof with parents I might advise watching the Aristocrats without them around. I enjoyed the flick, but not as much as I expected to - it started to wear thin on me about midway through.