Ikari Warriors...

[2600Lives]

for the NES is one of the worst games I've ever, EVER played. I know I do a lot of shitty game bashing (lately my luck has been VERY bad when it comes to finding good games to play), but DAMN does this thing suck.

 

For one, it's probably the hardest damn game ever made, made even harder by the worthless controls (press left, you ROTATE slowly to the left, press right, you ROTATE slowly to the right). Your guy moves like he's got feet made of lead, made worse in water, made WORSE going up stairs (seriously, I've seen grannies with broken hips go up stairs faster, it's pathetic). I wanted to go through it, so I pulled out the ever trusty Game Genie (suck it, game developers!) and decided to give it a go.

 

Big mistake.

 

Not only did I die like 100000000000000 times, but every single enemy the game moves at like twice the speed you do, AND are almost always better armed (the guys with the power grenades piss me off sooooo much). Ok, so I get to a gate in stage 3, right? I die right in front of it. And what does the game do? Re-spawns my guy in an area that's completely impossible to get out of. Yup, there I sat, surrounded by green pipes and unable to go anywhere. I waited for those idiotic missiles to come and destroy me, thinking I'd re-spawn somewhere else, but nope, right back there. So, I had to turn it off, and believe me, I had no stomach to start it back up. Wow, what a gigantic turd. I can imagine some kid back in the day buying this (fortunately, I never owned it, only borrowed it, and it was only recently that I picked up a copy. For a dollar, if that tells you anything), spending hours upon hours memorizing patterns and dying over and over to get to this point, only to have poor programming and zero quality control ruin his game. I'd love to have seen whoever was responsible for this pile of poo taken out and publicly flogged. Seriously. Though it's not the worst game I've ever played, it's right up there. The NES is so full of quality titles, I suppose the really bad ones just stick out that much more.

 

/rant off.

[+MattelAquarius]

I didn't own this one, the neighbor did, but I remember us having a great time with it. For one, it was 2 player simultaneous action, and secondly, it had a well know continue code. (I think it was ABBA). I remember fighting over who got the power-ups and tanks as we played.

 

I make no claims that I would still enjoy the game 20 years later, but as a kid we loved it.

[2600Lives]

Yeah, when you're a kid, you tend to overlook a lot of stuff in games, like, why in the HELL are there PINK soldiers?! Seriously, pink soldiers. That is NOT right. All other connotations aside, wearing a pink uniform into battle (including helmet mind you) is like painting a gigantic bullseye on your chest. Of course, the light blue uniforms worn by the main soldiers aren't exactly camouflage-worthy, either. And arming your big, hulking, mohawked Macho Men with a club isn't likely the brightest idea, either.

 

K, so I pulled out Ikari 3 just for laughs. Blew through it in less than an hour with NO problems, and you don't even get a gun 99% of the time! True, the soldiers that come at you like a twirling ballerina are kinda...well, pink, but for the most part this one was far, far better.

[PressureCooker2600]

I love Ikari 3 because of that twirling bad-guys thing! That game is hilarious but is also pretty fun....to me.

I like the first Ikari Warriors, too. The only one I didn't like as much was Ikari Warriors 2.......overweight just a tad.

 

The arcade version of Ikari Warriors 2 is the shit, though. I blew many quarters on it back in the day.

[+FujiSkunk]

NES Ikari Warriors is passable if you can adapt to its control style. I've gotten in the habit of sliding my thumb around the D-pad, so that it moves in time with the character on screen. Of course, if the game stuck my character in a place he couldn't get out of, I'd be ticked as well.

 

What's really bad is the NES port of Victory Road (the second Ikari game). The character rotation is even slower, and the characters are larger on screen, which means they're far more likely to get hit. I've never been able to get past the first level of that game without the help of a Game Genie. Of course, as tedious as it is, I haven't tried all that often, either.

Edited September 26, 2007 by skunkworx

[shadow460]

I never played Ikari Warriors. If you're looking for shump action on the NES, though, Burai Fighter has it in spades. And yes, you will die a LOT, but it's a tad forgiving.

 

I saw Heavy Barrel for NES also, and that's the game that got me started on shumps. IIRC, Ikari Warriors had the same knob/joystick combo Heavy Barrel did, and Burai Fighter would have had in the arcade. I know in Burai Fighter, the B button acts as a shift key for the D-pad, and it also engages the game's rapid fire. Moving the d pad with nothing pressed makes your guy turn whatever direction AND move in that direction. Pressing B locks the aim to a specific direction, allowing you to move about freely while spraying deadly laser fire at the same target.

[PressureCooker2600]

Best top-down shoot-em-ups are Heavy Barrel and Guerrilla War......and to some extent Commando.

[A Sprite]

Or, if you don't mind the change in theme, and early NES graphics, go for Gun.smoke. Once you get used to the controls ( B fires left, A fires right, and A+B to fire straight ahead ), it's a solid Capcom shooter, and a huge improvement on Commando. New to the game engine is trading points for guns, ammo, and horses - you finally have a reason to care about shooting every little foot soldier.

[DrLove0378]

I've tried all 3 of them, and all I can say is, the first two games completely gave the franchise a bad name.

 

 

In the first one, it's very difficult to line up your shots, and you have only 99 bullets and 50 grenades. Don't worry -- you'll die long before you use all of them.

 

 

 

The second, Victory Road, is the worst of the lot -- it takes the guy forever to turn around, and when you want to change weapons, it takes a full four seconds for the subscreen to show up, and another four seconds to return to the game.

 

It's even possible to reach points in the game where you can never advance -- like the "bonus" stages and shop areas. Continuing is possible, but continues become "limited" when you reach the final boss, Zang Zip. (As for all those weapons you've been collecting, you don't get to use them on him.)

 

Don't even get me started on the atroocious voice sampling... you'll be hearing that garbled "GRAAAHH!" all too often, as the aliens kick your ass. For a port done in 1988, all those flaws are inexcusable.

 

 

 

Ikari III is decent and playable, though it's still difficult and has some problems. But due to the way the game is set up (infinite continues), reaching the end is a foregone conclusion. Same goes for Guerrilla War -- the only thing you're really trying to do is beat the game with a high score.

 

 

The Angry Video Game Nerd really needs to do one of his signature vitriolic reviews, for this series...

[2600Lives]

Weird thing, I remember renting Ikari 2 back in the day and blowing through it in a weekend. No problems, no codes, no nothin'. Thinking back, though, it was a terrible game, with the WORST digitized voice in any game, ever.

 

Gun.Smoke = Awesome but hard. I spent hours on this game, and have still never beaten it. Good, good stuff.

 

Burai Fighter = A+ title right here! Damn do I love this game.

 

Heavy Barrel = Excellent game, but VERY tough.

 

Guerilla War = Not as good as the above titles, but solid. I remember it being fairly easy, though (as in rent it for a weekend and beat it easy).

 

I think I'm gonna go through some more Genny games next. Whip Rush has been sitting in it's box for years with no attention, so I may give that one a go.

 

Hmmm...maybe I'll e-mail da Nerd and suggest the Ikari titles to him...

 

Edit: Ok, so Guerilla war is NOT easy by any stretch of the imagination. Oh holy crapola. Must have been another game I'm thinking of, maybe POW or something.

Edited September 27, 2007 by 2600Lives