Well my parents finally threatened to take my games away

[ricky29]

If a parent needs to have the difference between abuse and discipline explained to them, they're probably not a fit parent to begin with.

 

 

Well, some parents just honestly didn't know. Take my dad, for example: The only kind of discipline he ever received from his dad was of the abusive kind. My grandpa was the kind of dad that got mad at his seven-year-old son--my dad's older brother--because he didn't know what a socket wrench looked like and so handed him the wrong one and so Grandpa took a hammer and hit him upside the head with it and knocked him out cold. But guess what? That kind of discipline was the only kind my grandpa had ever known from his dad. So, you see, they honestly didn't know that there was any other kind that would work. Abuse like that is a cycle. It's ending in my generation, with me. Did my dad come out alright? Yeah, I'd say so, but he did got through some unnecessary crap. Dad and Grandpa have both mellowed out as the years have gone by and I think that Dad, at least, has learned that there is a difference between discipline and a flat-out beatdown and that the beatdown is not necessary.

[Ross PK]

(Ross PK @ Wed Aug 5, 2009 12:47 PM) *

Sorry but slapping a kid in the face just for lying is totally out of line.

 

 

 

Why not? I got slapped in the face when I was a kid--the last time was when I was about 10 years old--and guess what? I turned out perfectly fine. Granted, it wasn't a regular occurrence--it didn't happen every time I was bad. I could probably count on both hands how many times it happened. The key to it is that you don't slap them hard enough to really hurt them--ie bloody their nose, black their eyes, etc. That would be wrong. The way to do it is to slap them just hard enough to get their attention, so that they know you mean business. It's the same way with spanking. You don't hit the child hard enough to seriously hurt them, ie beating, just hard enough that they know you mean business. Come to think of it, I deserved a whole lot more corporal punishment than I actually got.

 

What is out of line is when a parent fails to control and/or punish their kids and complete strangers in public are forced to to deal with the consequences, like I was earlier.

 

I guess it's just a case of our cultures being different.

 

Lying isn't seen as a really big thing over here or at least where I live, and slapping a kid in the face for doing so seems way too much. Something like stealing from your mums purse, or getting into serious trouble with the police are seen as big things and would be punishable, like being grounded, or having things taken away for a certain period of time. But hitting your kids is still seen as a big no no.

[FlightSuit]

The most effective punishment for lying is one that automatically imposes itself: People stop believing you.

Edited August 7, 2009 by FlightSuit

[A2600]

Oh don't worry. I know he would never kick me out

 

cues a flashback...

 

Hi Mr Army recruiter guy my dad kicked me out can I crash here with you guys for the next eight years. Sure son sign here!

[A2600]

"yeah well that's all my property"

 

And I assume you have a part time job to pay for all your property or that magical storage unit of yours

 

Because a lil collection like yours does not get bought on a paper route, your parents paid for that stuff that you have.

 

Now dont tell me that ever since you where retrogaming that you have had a job to pay for your gaming needs...

[+Random Terrain]

I guess it's just a case of our cultures being different.

 

Lying isn't seen as a really big thing over here or at least where I live, and slapping a kid in the face for doing so seems way too much. Something like stealing from your mums purse, or getting into serious trouble with the police are seen as big things and would be punishable, like being grounded, or having things taken away for a certain period of time. But hitting your kids is still seen as a big no no.

In the USA, it wasn't until somewhere in the 1990s that hitting your kids for any reason became politically incorrect. Before that time, a lot of parents looked forward to finding the flimsiest reasons to hit their kids. It was a great stress reliever. Bad day at work? No problem! Watch your children like a hawk and when you see the tiniest mistake or barely noticeable violation of the unfair, insane, unwritten moral rules that only exist in your head, grab a belt and whackity whack that ass! The wonderful belt to ass flailing exercise will burn away the stress and the horrific screams of your child will temporarily satisfy your demonic lust to overpower someone who is weaker than you.

 

The near sexual release you get from beating your children is addictive, but you can't always make time for a marathon beating session, especially when you're out in public. That's where a good slap in the face comes in. Look for any sign that your overpowering grip might be slipping. It could be a lie, a roll of the eyes, a barely audible mumble, or any sign of disrespect. Your children must respect your authority with the trembling fear of a nervous puppy that is about to piss all over itself and when they fail to do that, it's slappin' time. It doesn't always have to be a slap across the face. You can slap the back of their head if you don't want to leave a mark, but it's not as satisfying. The best slap is the kind that gets a bit of a lip, cheek and ear. It's hard to do, especially if your little darling has a huge head, but it's worth the trouble.

[Catsmasher]

Wow,

You might want to post on-line less and find a good therapist. There are some issues there.

[jrok]

Something like stealing from your mums purse, or getting into serious trouble with the police are seen as big things and would be punishable, like being grounded, or having things taken away for a certain period of time. But hitting your kids is still seen as a big no no.

 

If this is true, than why is it that there are approximately 950 million websites devoted to British Headmasters/mistresses whacking their buxom "students" with canes?

 

I'm sorry, but acting like Americans invented corporeal punishment is like saying fish invented the ocean. And plenty of us who were spanked, smacked, whacked and whupped growing up didn't turn out to be serial killers. Saying that there are no degrees of violence and that all violence is automatically abuse makes no sense. Every fair criminal justice in the world makes exactly those distinctions every day.

[Ross PK]

I don't see why I'm acting like Americans invented corporal punishment. Back in the day over here (probably around the 60's and before) I think it was common for kids to get hit too. But for a long time now, a grown man or woman slapping thier kids around is seen about as bad (and pathetic) as a grown man hitting a woman. It's also a criminal offence.

 

I remember when I was at school, back in the 80's, a really strict woman teacher pushed my friends face into the wall quite hard and made him cry (he was only about 8 ) just for laughing after she told everyone to be quiet, he told his mum, and rightly so his mum was absolutley livid at the teacher and went over there to have it out with her, I'm not sure if she would've have hit her, but I certianly wouldn't blame her if she had done.

 

Any kid I knew who had the sort of strict parents that would hit them or scream at them for something small like lying or making a mistake were usually quiet, have no confidence, and have low self esteem. The normal more out going kids had normal liberal parents.

Edited August 7, 2009 by Ross PK

[jrok]

I don't see why I'm acting like Americans invented corporal punishment. Back in the day over here (probably around the 60's and before) I think it was common for kids to get hit too. But for a long time now, a grown man or woman slapping thier kids around is seen about as bad (and pathetic) as a grown man hitting a woman. It's also a criminal offence.

 

Oh, it's criminal here as well, and the laws are becoming broader and broader by the day. But if an "anti-spanking" law becomes a legal kudgel that allows children behave disrespectfully, violently or amorally... well, no one should be surprised if they end up with a bunch of disrespectful, violent, amoral kids. Child-abuse is wrong and repellent, but there's nothing wrong with instilling a healthy sense of fear in a child. Fear can be useful. Fear can stop you from acting amorally, and from doing things that will hurt yourself or others. In a way, you could say that the entire reason that people act morally is a combination of Love of others and Fear of reprisals.

 

Any kid I knew who had the sort of strict parents that would hit them or scream at them for something small like lying or making a mistake were usually quiet, have no confidence, and have low self esteem. The normal more out going kids had normal liberal parents.

 

I'm not sure what constitutes "normal", but I certainly have seen many, many kids who grew up without a disciplinarian that were absolutely ruined as social beings.

[Ross PK]

I don't see why I'm acting like Americans invented corporal punishment. Back in the day over here (probably around the 60's and before) I think it was common for kids to get hit too. But for a long time now, a grown man or woman slapping thier kids around is seen about as bad (and pathetic) as a grown man hitting a woman. It's also a criminal offence.

 

Oh, it's criminal here as well, and the laws are becoming broader and broader by the day. But if an "anti-spanking" law becomes a legal kudgel that allows children behave disrespectfully, violently or amorally... well, no one should be surprised if they end up with a bunch of disrespectful, violent, amoral kids. Child-abuse is wrong and repellent, but there's nothing wrong with instilling a healthy sense of fear in a child. Fear can be useful. Fear can stop you from acting amorally, and from doing things that will hurt yourself or others. In a way, you could say that the entire reason that people act morally is a combination of Love of others and Fear of reprisals.

 

Any kid I knew who had the sort of strict parents that would hit them or scream at them for something small like lying or making a mistake were usually quiet, have no confidence, and have low self esteem. The normal more out going kids had normal liberal parents.

 

I'm not sure what constitutes "normal", but I certainly have seen many, many kids who grew up without a disciplinarian that were absolutely ruined as social beings.

 

Well yeah, I agree that with absolutley no discipline it can't be that healthy.

 

Anyway, sorry that I've been getting on my soapbox, guys.

Edited August 7, 2009 by Ross PK

[8th lutz]

Parents have to be strict to a degree and have to control over they kid. If the parents have no control over their kid, they will become to wild for their good. The little brat would become a trouble teen or get hurt doing something stupid as a little kid.

 

My neighbors kid is proof why parents need to control their kid.

 

The neighbors that have a spoiled little brat that the mom and grandmother doesn't control very well and the brat doesn't listen to adults at all.

 

The little brat does stuff like jumping into her pool from the hood of her parents car. The mom told her to stop multiple times, but she continues to get on the hood of a car and jump into a small Pool.

 

The little brat did some other stuff the she did without supervisor and I had tell the brats mom right away because she got tangled up.

Edited August 7, 2009 by 8th lutz

[STICH666]

"yeah well that's all my property"

 

And I assume you have a part time job to pay for all your property or that magical storage unit of yours

 

Because a lil collection like yours does not get bought on a paper route, your parents paid for that stuff that you have.

 

Now dont tell me that ever since you where retrogaming that you have had a job to pay for your gaming needs...

Actually yes I have had a job for the past 2 years which is as long as I've been collecting.

[Ross PK]

Parents have to be strict to a degree and have to control over they kid. If the parents have no control over their kid,

 

My neighbors kid is proof on parents need to control their kid.

 

The neighbors that have a spoiled little brat that the mom and grandmother doesn't control very well and the brat doesn't listen to adults at all.

 

The little brat does stuff like jumping into her pool from the hood of her parents car. The mom told her to stop multiple times, but she continues to get on the hood of a car and jump into a small Pool.

 

The little brat did some other stuff the she did without supervisor and I had tell the brats mom right away because she got tangled up.

 

Well, in that case, slapping their arm or legs (but only if nothing else works and not really really hard but enough to give them a bit of a shock) certianly doesn't seem as bad as a slap to the face just because of a lie or a swear word. But still, I dunno.

Edited August 7, 2009 by Ross PK

[8th lutz]

Parents have to be strict to a degree and have to control over they kid. If the parents have no control over their kid,

 

My neighbors kid is proof on parents need to control their kid.

 

The neighbors that have a spoiled little brat that the mom and grandmother doesn't control very well and the brat doesn't listen to adults at all.

 

The little brat does stuff like jumping into her pool from the hood of her parents car. The mom told her to stop multiple times, but she continues to get on the hood of a car and jump into a small Pool.

 

The little brat did some other stuff the she did without supervisor and I had tell the brats mom right away because she got tangled up.

 

Well, in that case, slapping their arm or legs (but only if nothing else works and not really really hard but enough to give them a bit of a shock) certianly doesn't seem as bad as a slap to the face just because of a lie or a swear word. But still, I dunno.

 

 

My neighbor's kid isn't listening to their mom because the kid wasn't controlled from the beginning. The brat is still young. The brat look like she is in the 4 to 6 year old range.

 

Being a little strict or have control of their kid doesn't mean exactly spankings for the kid or being hit. Parents could be strict by them what is allowed and what is not. A kid can be control when the kid misbehaves being taking stuff away or not allowed to do stuff like playing outside.

 

I can tell say that by the way I was brought up.

 

I wasn't hit by parents growing up, but I got punished when I did something wrong by being grounded. My younger brother and I know who is boss growing up and we had to following their rules. We didn't become troubled citizens as adults or as teens because of the way we were brought up.

Edited August 7, 2009 by 8th lutz

[Jimmy Yakapucci]

My turn to add replies to a couple of the points here:

 

As far as getting hit by my parents, if I back talked my mother, she back handed me. Didn't happen much, I learn fast.

 

If your kids think that you are mean to them or if you think that your parents are mean to you, read the book "A Child Called It", or any other of the books by Dave Pelzer. You will have a new appreciation for the term "child abuse".

 

JY

[STICH666]

My turn to add replies to a couple of the points here:

 

As far as getting hit by my parents, if I back talked my mother, she back handed me. Didn't happen much, I learn fast.

 

If your kids think that you are mean to them or if you think that your parents are mean to you, read the book "A Child Called It", or any other of the books by Dave Pelzer. You will have a new appreciation for the term "child abuse".

 

JY

OMG that was a great book. Was that the one where the kid would take baths in ice water, sleep in the cold garage with nothing to eat and have to wash the bathroom with the doors shut and sealed so he'd have to breathe in the fumes.

Edited August 7, 2009 by STICH666

[FlightSuit]

Every time I see children screaming in a restaurant or a store, I want to sew their mouths shut and smack their parents around.

[Jimmy Yakapucci]

My turn to add replies to a couple of the points here:

 

As far as getting hit by my parents, if I back talked my mother, she back handed me. Didn't happen much, I learn fast.

 

If your kids think that you are mean to them or if you think that your parents are mean to you, read the book "A Child Called It", or any other of the books by Dave Pelzer. You will have a new appreciation for the term "child abuse".

 

JY

OMG that was a great book. Was that the one where the kid would take baths in ice water, sleep in the cold garage with nothing to eat and have to wash the bathroom with the doors shut and sealed so he'd have to breathe in the fumes.

 

 

That would be the book. I wouldn't really call it great as someone would call Transformers a great movie. I would lean more along the lines of heart breaking, tear jerking, emotionally disturbing.

 

JY

Edited August 7, 2009 by Jimmy Yakapucci

[16-bit]

[kroogur]

Well yeah, I agree that with absolutley no discipline it can't be that healthy.

 

Anyway, sorry that I've been getting on my soapbox, guys.

 

No it's cool we all are actually having a good discussion.

[STICH666]

My turn to add replies to a couple of the points here:

 

As far as getting hit by my parents, if I back talked my mother, she back handed me. Didn't happen much, I learn fast.

 

If your kids think that you are mean to them or if you think that your parents are mean to you, read the book "A Child Called It", or any other of the books by Dave Pelzer. You will have a new appreciation for the term "child abuse".

 

JY

OMG that was a great book. Was that the one where the kid would take baths in ice water, sleep in the cold garage with nothing to eat and have to wash the bathroom with the doors shut and sealed so he'd have to breathe in the fumes.

 

 

That would be the book. I wouldn't really call it great as someone would call Transformers a great movie. I would lean more along the lines of heart breaking, tear jerking, emotionally disturbing.

JY

That's what I meant.

[FlightSuit]

Please tell me you wouldn't actually call Transformers a good movie.

[Jimmy Yakapucci]

My turn to add replies to a couple of the points here:

 

As far as getting hit by my parents, if I back talked my mother, she back handed me. Didn't happen much, I learn fast.

 

If your kids think that you are mean to them or if you think that your parents are mean to you, read the book "A Child Called It", or any other of the books by Dave Pelzer. You will have a new appreciation for the term "child abuse".

 

JY

OMG that was a great book. Was that the one where the kid would take baths in ice water, sleep in the cold garage with nothing to eat and have to wash the bathroom with the doors shut and sealed so he'd have to breathe in the fumes.

 

 

That would be the book. I wouldn't really call it great as someone would call Transformers a great movie. I would lean more along the lines of heart breaking, tear jerking, emotionally disturbing.

JY

That's what I meant.

 

That's what I was hoping you meant.

 

JY

[Jimmy Yakapucci]

Please tell me you wouldn't actually call Transformers a good movie.

 

No, I can't say that since I haven't seen it. That is why I phrased it as "someone would say".

 

JY