The worst games of all time: My two cents

[Segataritensoftii]

Yes, I know someone on these forums did one of these a while back, but after recently looking at a top 20 worst games list (not Seanbaby's), and being infuriated with 80% of the selections being merely mediocre, even good, games, instead of actual bad ones, I decided to make my own list:

 

6. Sonic Jam (Game.com)

 

Review from Digital Press:

What happens when Sonic gets translated to a console that doesn't support "blast processing?" Simple. Sonic loses something... actually, he loses alot. It's just minor stuff really. You know, like that whole speed thing that made the Sonic series fun in the first place? Oh, and those great, cartoon styled worlds? Those are gone too. The brilliantly designed levels aren't so, well, brilliantly designed anymore, and the game loses it's entire personality.

 

Sonic 2, Sonic 3, and Sonic & Knuckles are supposedly included in this cart, but only a handful of levels have actually been implemented. You also get the choice of the three main Sonic characters to play with. This is all fine and dandy, but it's when the game actually begins that things start going downhill fast (pun intended). The speed is barely half of what it was in the Genesis versions (if that) and the controls are broken. Numerous times you'll attempt to go up a hill only to find yourself the victim of gravity, proving that this is not the Sonic we all know and love. Attempting to blast off is an exercise in frustration and Sonic's jump isn't what it used to be.

 

The sparse graphics are hardly worth writing about. Aside from a few flowers and clouds, the backgrounds are void of detail. A few of Sonic's animations have made the transition, but they're hardly noticeable due to the blurring of the screen. Enemies are easily missed due to the same problem resulting in a few uncalled for deaths. The programming wasn't cleaned up to avoid slowdown.

 

The sound effects have been digitized from the console versions giving them an authentic yet scratchy quality. The music is nothing more than a few bleeps at different frequencies put together to sound like music. Definitely a step down from the memorable tunes on the Genesis.

 

It's really hard to screw up a Sonic game. It's even harder to say that this is the highlight of the Game.com's library. It's actually playable, but only for the most patient of gamers. If you own the console, you have to pick this game up as it's a glimpse of what the console could accomplish. That's not saying much. However, the system does include Solitaire... save you money and play that instead.

 

5. Rise of the Robots (all versions)

 

Review from Giant Bomb:

Anticipation and excitement; the emotions any player surely feels upon getting their hands on one of the most eagerly awaited titles in recent years. This is certainly the case with Rise of the Robots, as few games have ever received such massive pre-release interest. All this only serves to make the shock upon playing RotR even more profound though, as somehow an incomprehensibly dire gaming experience has been delivered. Such a judgement you may assume to be an exaggeration, as with so much expectation on the developer, they could surely never deliver fully. But this is not an exaggeration, and it should be made quite clear that this one-on-one fighting game deserved none of the attention it received during development.

 

The majority of interest in RotR arose due to a supposed revolution in graphical technology. In this department, major steps have certainly been made. The characters in Rise are pre-rendered, and whilst motionless, they do look very good, and are certainly an evolution, if not a revolution. But despite the high quality of this modelling, the animation of the characters is of rather lower quality, something immediately apparent as soon as they move. Only a few frames of animation exist for each character, meaning that fights have no fluidity at all.

 

In terms of sound, the game also starts well, with an opening riff from Queen’s Brian May. After that, the game shoots quickly downhill though, with bleeping synthetic music that defies what has been proven possible with chip based music.

 

Of course, the key to any game is its gameplay. Indeed, no genre relies more on its actual play mechanics more than the fighting game. Sadly, it is in this area that RotR is totally abysmal, with absolutely no redeeming element. The player takes control of a Cyborg in RotR, and must test their skills against other robots, be they other humanoid bots or glorified forklifts. In a single player game, this Cyborg character is the only one available, while in two player fights, one of the players must still be the Cyborg. This is far from the only gameplay limitation present though. The main character, Cyborg, has very, very few moves at his disposal. Do not expect a level of complexity that is even comparable to Mortal Kombat, let alone Street Fighter II. NPC artificial intelligence is also dire, with opponents occasionally resorting to just walking back and forth punching randomly. The collision detection is woeful, with kicks damaging the enemy, despite appearing to strike air. Ultimately, any player who manages to get past the early rounds, or continue playing after dieing, demonstrates both enviable luck and admirable patience. Rise of the Robots really is, quite simply, terrible and unplayable.

 

4. Pitfighter (SNES)

 

Review from GameFAQs:

The first time I reviewed Pit Fighter, I didn't do the game justice. I did give it a 1, but I didn't quite realize how horrible the game really was until I had the opportunity to play it again recently. I tried to find redeeming qualities but was unsuccessful.

Pit Fighter puts you in the shoes of Buzz, Ty or Kato, a pro wrestler, kickboxing champion or martial artist, respectively. You guys are fighting for prize money, apparently, against masked executioners, leather-clad ladies and other such characters. Beat them all, and you win.

 

The characters themselves look unimpressive, but it's the animation that really takes the cake. All movement is choppy and unrealistic, and a character that's punched is standing one second and on the ground the next. You can't really see him fall, probably because a bunch of frames of animation are left out. The backgrounds consists of one-color cardboard people, making the same gestures over and over again. The colors in the game are dull.

 

The producers apparently likes the one track in the game, because it's used exclusively. The sound effects are, to be blunt, terrible. Screams of pain sound more like someone vomiting - seriously. Whenever your fighter connects with a blow, he yelps ''Hi-YA!'', which quickly gets annoying. Similarly, all of the enemies have a trademark grunt, which also gets annoying quickly, especially when they're stomping you into the ground.

 

A game with terrible graphics and sound can sometimes redeem itself with solid gameplay. Pit Fighter, unfortunately, does not. The gameplay aspect causes the graphics and sound to look like positive areas of the game. Your health and the health of your opponent is measured in hit points; unfortunately, there's no way to gain back health, and your life bar is not restored after a successful battle. The result is that each opponent can hit you, on average, no more than twice if you hope to finish the game. That adds to the challenge of the game, right? In a way, yes, but it's not the ''keep trying until you finally win'' challenge - it's more like the ''pull out your hair because the bad guys are so cheap and the control is so bad'' challenge. In other words, the challenge is a result of the game's flaws. After an opponent knocks you down, he or she will stand over your body and pummel you. You can't fight back, and only if the opponent decides to back off for a second can you get to your feet and try to muster some offense. By this time, it's too late, because half your energy is gone and the next opponent will do the same thing and finish you off. When standing over your body, an opponent can punch straight forward and you'll still grunt and take damage - it's bad hit detection taken to an absurd new low. Each of the three fighters has several moves, but the differences are only cosmetic. Most moves take virtually the same number of hit points from opponents, and more often than not, the opponent won't be effected by your attack anyway. Ty, the kickboxer, bows to his opponent at the start of the fight as a sign of respect. Unfortunately, the opponent uses that opportunity to kick you in the nads, putting you on the ground and sealing your chances of winning. Bowing is inevitable, so it's best to stay away from Ty and pick someone else. An even better choice is to stay away from the game altogether.

The two player option adds nothing to the game - it just means that there are two identical opponents, and when you or your partner die, the surviving member will be double-teamed and destroyed by the twins. You and a friend can't fight each other one-on-one - the only options are to try to run the gauntlet of opponents by yourself of with a friend by your side.

 

Chances are you'll get frustrated with the game long before finishing it. If you do finish it, there's no reason to ever want to play it again. THQ has produced some quality titles and some real clunkers. Pit Fighter falls into a category of its own: it makes you wonder how a company can let such an awful game slip through the cracks. I'm not exaggerating when I say that Pit Fighter is the worst game for the SNES. Needless to say, don't bother giving this one a try.

 

3. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (PC)

 

Review from Gamespot:

Bad games are released all the time, and some are worse than others. This is nothing new. However, it really takes a special kind of awful to be considered one of the worst games ever made. So when this special kind of awful makes an appearance, it's truly something to behold. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is one of those rare pieces of work. Not only is it almost completely broken and blatantly unfinished in nearly every way, but even if it weren't, there's so little of an actual game to be found here that it would still be terrible. Big Rigs is a game so astoundingly bad that it manages to transcend nearly every boundary put forth by some of gaming's absolute worst of the worst and easily makes it into that dubiously extraordinary category of being one of the most atrocious games ever published.

 

Big Rigs' first and most grievous issue lies in its gameplay. Specifically, there isn't any.

 

In theory, Big Rigs is supposed to be a racing game based on big trucks that speed through various US trucking routes in some kind of effort to deliver cargo before the competition gets there first--or else the truck gets busted by the law. At least, this is what the back of the game's box would have you believe. Let us make it very clear that these statements are all horrible, horrible lies. There is no coherent goal in Big Rigs. There is no cargo to be delivered. There are no police chases. In fact, there really isn't anything much in the game.

 

The basic idea in the actual game is that you pick one from four vaguely different trucks and then one from five vaguely different levels. You then compete against another truck in a simple checkpoint race. That's it. However, Big Rigs can't even get this basic concept right. The supposedly computer-controlled truck you're supposed to be racing against in the game never actually moves. It's right there next to you at the beginning of a race, but it has no purpose in the game. This is to say, actually, that none of the game's races have a purpose because there's no competition and no time limit. You win every single time. So unless you especially like seeing a winning-screen over and over again that reads "You're Winner!", there is absolutely no point in playing Big Rigs.

 

But let's assume for a moment that the AI trucks actually worked, and you could get a race going. Even if this were the case, the game still wouldn't be worth playing in the slightest. Big Rigs' controls essentially involve hitting the arrow keys of the keyboard in the desired direction and nothing more. The game provides no support for peripheral controllers of any kind, and there isn't even an option to edit the default keyboard controls in any manner. Your truck also handles pretty horribly. There are no physics here. You accelerate much too quickly to even be minutely realistic (especially when going in reverse, which lets you go from around 0 to 60mph in about five seconds, continue accelerating infinitely faster, and stop on a dime the second you let up on the keyboard), you can travel over the most rugged of terrain without any problems (including nearly vertical mountains), and you can turn in ways that cause you to jerk around in some pretty ridiculous manners.

 

Of course, the controls would only matter if you actually had to worry about running into things or crashing your truck, which, actually, is a nonissue. You see, you can clip your truck right through every object on a race course in Big Rigs, from the biggest of houses and walls, right down to the smallest of lampposts. Furthermore, bridges evidently don't actually exist, despite the fact that you can see them--driving over any of them results in you sinking right through them. It is also quite possible to simply drive right off of the literal end of a level when playing. Considering the fact that you can drive over these tall, seemingly insurmountable mountains (at least, insurmountable for an actual diesel-powered truck), and there are no level boundaries, eventually you can just drive off into literal nothingness and can hang out there as long as you please.

 

The graphical problems don't stop there, either. Big Rigs is easily one of the worst-looking PC games released in years. The truck models are amazingly terrible, with incredibly archaic-looking designs and brake lights that actually float off of the truck models. The four different environments all look bad, too, what with their incredibly nasty-looking textures, their ugly and meaningless set pieces, and their aforementioned clipping problems. Also, the reason we state that there are only four environments in the game, instead of the five we previously cited, is because we could only get four of them to actually work. When trying to load the fifth environment, the game simply quit and returned us to the desktop on all of the computers that we tried. As for the game's sound design, there isn't any. There are literally no sound effects in Big Rigs. The only sounds that present themselves at all are a few unpleasant, looping techno tracks, and on a midrange PC, we couldn't even get them to play.

 

Just how bad is Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing? It's as bad as your mind will allow you to comprehend. It is so disturbingly bad that even its budget price tag seems like a slap in the face. It really makes you wonder if the company that put out this dreck even took so much as a half minute to glance at the game that it was releasing. The game's readme file does assert that the game was thoroughly tested on various PCs, but the end result seems to suggest otherwise. The fact is, even if you tried, you couldn't play Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing the way it was seemingly intended to be played, and even if you could, you wouldn't want to.

 

2. Action 52 (NES)

 

Review from Digital Press:

Here's the good news: there really ARE 52 games in this single cartridge. Also, the game has a nice intro with hip-hop sampled music, speech synthesis and a very excited Cheetahman. Now the bad news: you'll be hard-pressed to find any of these 52 games worth playing. They range from pretty bad to very very bad. Common issues across games include poor graphics and sound, terrible collision detection, and dull gameplay. Some games have specific problems, such as enemies that suddenly appear on top of you.

 

The games have some pretty interesting titles, and you'll probably just want to try each one out which ensures that you'll get at least an hour of gameplay out of this one. Titles include Fire Breather, Starevil, Illuminator, G-Force, Ooze, Silver Sword, Critical Bypass, Jupiter Scope, Alfredo, Operation Full Moon, Dam Busters, Thrusters, Haunted Hill, Chill Out, Sharks, Megalonia, French Baker, Atmos Quake, Meong, Space Dreams, Streemerz, Spread Fire, Bubblegum Rosy, Micro Mike, Underground, Rocket Jock, Non Human, Cry Baby, Slashers, Crazy Shuffle, Fuzz Power, Shooting Gallery, Lollipops, Evil Empire, Sombreros, Storm Over The Desert, Mash Man, They Came, Lazer League, Billy Bob, City Of Doom, Bits And Pieces, Beeps And Blips, Manchester, Boss, Dedant, Hambos Adventures, Time Warp, Jigsaw, Ninja Assault, Robbie Robot, and Cheetahmen.

 

The game that seems to be the marquee title is the last one, Cheetahmen. This game has an actual introduction and cut-scenes and was eventually given a dedicated sequel, Cheetahmen II. In this game your character travels from right to left (sometimes up ladders) killing enemies, most of which are completely indistinguishable. At one point I think I was being attacked by a giant purple dildo. There are pits that you don't really fall into in as much as touch and die. You have an attack button and a jump button but when you jump and attack, you actually stop in mid-air - an undocumented Cheetahman special power. If you attack on the far right of the screen you can see half of your body on the far left. And this... THIS is the marquee title.

 

Other games that have interesting names return similar disappointments. I loved the title "Evil Empire" and found the game features the tiniest characters ever in a video game, kind of like a shrunken Lode Runner but just shooting, no hole digging. Also there are many times when you're in a spot where you can only go one way and there's a bad guy hanging in your way, ie "certain death".'

 

"French Baker" sounded interesting, and why was I thinking it would be like the old Atari game "Piece o' Cake". At first glance it looked more like Burgertime, I'm alright with that. What I'm not alright with is that it turns out to be yet another platform/shooter with more indistinguishable enemies, most of which appear a single pixel away from you, ie "certain death".

 

And so it goes, for fifty-something titles. As intriguing as the thought of playing a "multi-cart" of NES games might be, you'd be much better off grabbing one of those pirate games which actually have decent NES and Famicom titles within.

 

1. Karate (Atari 2600)

 

Review from The Video Game Critic:

When my friends play Karate for the first time, they all tend to have the same reaction. First they stare at the screen in disbelief for a few seconds, before finally blurting out "Are you F-ing kidding me?!" This unplayable abomination is a personal affront to anyone who has ever paid money for video game entertainment. It's a one-on-one Karate contest where the fighters never actually touch each other! The green and purple characters are admittedly huge, but then couldn't be more blocky or slow moving. The way they constantly gyrate, it looks as if they're dancing with each other for Pete's sake! In fact, if you crank up the Bee Gee's "Staying Alive" as you play, the game almost makes sense. The fighting "action" is a complete joke, with punches and kicks that look simply heinous (what appendage is that?!). The collision detection is non-existent; your opponent can be right up against you, yet is always out of reach. If not for the scores displayed on top of the screen, you'd never even know that contact was made! If you can convince yourself this is a dancing game with controls that transcend human comprehension, then Karate is the best game in the world. Otherwise this garbage gets my vote for worst Atari 2600 game of all time. Note: This game was reissued by Froggo in 1987. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

Edited June 7, 2009 by Segataritensoftii

[4Ks]

Those are some good choices. Karate definetly sucks hard.

[Koopa64]

Nice to see that Pac-Man and E.T. DIDN'T make the list.

[jboypacman]

Rise of the Robots is the worst game ever and there is nothing wrong with E.T. compare to this game.

[STICH666]

Hard Drivn's console ports are by far the worst looking 3D games in history. I think the worst game of all time goes to Off World Extreme on the Sega Saturn. Holy fuck are the controls aweful!!

[roadrunner]

Karateka for the Atari 7800

[Segataritensoftii]

Karateka for the Atari 7800

I've never liked Karateka on any system. It just seems really linear and shallow to me. From what I've both seen and played, you just walk to the right and beat up people with various combinations of punches and kicks.

[Tempest]

Karateka for the Atari 7800

I've never liked Karateka on any system. It just seems really linear and shallow to me. From what I've both seen and played, you just walk to the right and beat up people with various combinations of punches and kicks.

I think it's one of those games you had to play 'back in the day'. I remember seeing it for the first time on the Apple II when I was about 8 or 9 and my jaw dropped at how amazing the graphics were. The gameplay may seem pretty shallow now, but there was nothing like it at the time.

 

Tempest

[Segataritensoftii]

If you wanted to see the list I was reading when I decided to make this, Here it is. It was not pretty, believe me.

Edited June 8, 2009 by Segataritensoftii

[Crazy Climber]

The only one I have actually played is Karate, I really only played it for a few seconds before I decided it was not for me. I played Pitfighter on the Genesis but not SNES, it seems to be one of those games that just didn't age well.

[roland p]

1. Karate (Atari 2600)

 

Review from The Video Game Critic

 

Looking at the screenshot gave me a few minutes of uncontrolled laughs

[Trooper]

That list (the one you linked to) is about the most stupid I've ever seen. So Desert Strike, Ghosts n’ Goblins, and Elevator Action are some of the worst games ever?? Not to mention the fact that ET, as always, gets the number one spot simply on hearsay and not because the writer actually played it. Stupid.

[Classic Pac]

Let's not forget Bubsy 3D PS1, far worst game I ever played. There is nothing good about that game.

[Ninjabba]

Ghost 'n Goblins is terrible! I never understood why some games have such an insane difficulty. For that alone it fails being a game.. but some of them shouldnt be on the list no (desert strike, paperboy ftw?).

[Crazy Climber]

Ghost 'n Goblins is terrible! I never understood why some games have such an insane difficulty. For that alone it fails being a game.. but some of them shouldnt be on the list no (desert strike, paperboy ftw?).

Ghosts n Goblins is not terrible, you just suck at it. I beat it when I was 13 years old

[mcjakeqcool]

I've had a ball with *most* or even *some* of those games, I would say, the console with the worst games is the Wii, half of the games on that console would'ent even cut the mustard on a 32 bit console, sometimes I think I'm playing a SNES with a cd drive in it. And the controlers are awful. Just my 2 cents.

[mbd30]

Re: a user comment from that terrible worst games ever list...

 

"Elevator Action is exactly like Mappy, except Mappy was actually popular."

 

 

Funny. I remember seeing a lot more "Elevator Action" machines than "Mappy" machines back in the day.

 

I don't know that I've ever seen a "Mappy" unit... or at least I've never played one. Was it all that popular?

[mbd30]

Ghost 'n Goblins is terrible! I never understood why some games have such an insane difficulty. For that alone it fails being a game.. but some of them shouldnt be on the list no (desert strike, paperboy ftw?).

 

I prefer "Ghouls 'n Ghosts" to "Ghosts 'n Goblins". It's more playable because it's a little less difficult.

 

But I should revisit "Ghosts 'n Goblins".

[xg4bx]

old wizards list sucks. i think that something that is considered "the worst" should be a retail release thats completely and totally broken from a technical standpoint ala big rigs, not "i just didn't like it so its the worst" stuff like e.t. or shaq-fu.

[FlightSuit]

Back in April I started a thread about Century Electronics' twin duds, Dazzler and Logger. Much to my chagrin, nobody had anything to add, but here's what I said at the time:

 

"I have a sick fascination with the Century Electronics arcade game Dazzler, mainly because when I was a little kid, the A&W restaurant in my town had a Dazzler coin-op machine.

 

If you've never played it, the levels alternate between a maze-type game and a platformer that's highly derivative of Donkey Kong. My fascination extends to another Century title, Logger, which is like a text-book example of how to make a total rip-off of Donkey Kong that is extremely similar to the original, yet completely lacking in playability or fun.

 

Both games are very difficult to control and just maddeningly awful and unplayable.

 

Like I said, it's a sick fascination that I have. I now play them on MacMAME.

 

Anyway, I'm just wondering if anybody has any opinions about these games or can contribute any interesting tidbits regarding their histories."

 

And furthermore,

 

"What?

 

Nobody here has played these games?

 

Or nobody here has anything to say about them?

 

Come on people, Dazzler and Logger have got to be worth discussing! They are so bad that if I hadn't played Dazzler as a kid, I'd almost be convinced they were practical jokes that some coder came up with in order to lampoon the worst of the '80's coin-op industry.

 

Surely somebody here has suffered through them, yes?"

 

 

 

It's truly remarkable how bad both games are. I think the biggest problem with Logger is with the controls: You can be pushing your joystick up (or pressing the "up" arrow if you're playing it in MAME), but it's a total crap-shoot as to whether your little Jumpman/Mario/Logger guy will actually respond by climbing up a ladder. More than likely, he'll continue to walk in whatever direction he'd been walking, and before you can stop him, he's walked right into a barrel or walked off the edge and fallen to his death. On the first screen, you'll find mysterious items hanging in the air where you'd find hammers if this was actually Donkey Kong, but God only knows what those items are or what purpose they serve, as it is impossible to grab and make use of them.

 

And don't even get me started on the sound effects. Each game begins with a horrendous-sounding, computer-synthesized voice choking out the words, "Game system operational," and then you have to listen to the sound of your little guy walking, which, I guess, is supposed to be roughly analogous to the sound that Mario makes when he walks, only it's about a hundred times louder and a thousand times more annoying and unnatural.

 

Let's not even talk about the physics involved in your character's jumping. We also won't talk about how those physics, coupled with the maddeningly awful controls, affect your ability to jump onto an elevator without dying.

 

Dazzler has the same control and physics issues on its platformer levels, while the maze-chase levels add to this the fact that you are almost immediately overwhelmed by enemies who are way too fast and numerous.

 

Oh, and Dazzler, like Logger, also begins with that "Game system operational" statement, which is weird, because there doesn't seem to be any other use of voice synthesis in either game.

 

Century Electronics made other games that sucked, including a Phoenix rip-off called "Cosmos," a Dig-Dug clone called "Digger," a Pleiades rip-off called "Dark Warrior," and, quite laughably, a game called "Wall Street," in which you have to maneuver a trampoline to catch an endless precession of bankers attempting to commit suicide by jumping from the windows of skyscrapers.

 

That last one would probably be pretty popular today, in light of the anger so many of us feel about the economy, except that, like all of Century Electronics' titles, it sucks.

 

It's like the damned company was founded on a principal of suckiness, and they truly achieved their goal or making the suckiest coin-ops ever.

Edited June 9, 2009 by FlightSuit

[FlightSuit]

Sorry, that should have read, "...principle of suckiness, and they truly achieved their goal of making the suckiest coin-ops ever."

[4Ks]

Century Electronics made other games that sucked, including a Phoenix rip-off called "Cosmos," a Dig-Dug clone called "Digger," a Pleiades rip-off called "Dark Warrior," and, quite laughably, a game called "Wall Street," in which you have to maneuver a trampoline to catch an endless precession of bankers attempting to commit suicide by jumping from the windows of skyscrapers.

 

 

DIGGER!?!?! I played Digger! I HATE that game!!! No matter how much I tried, it would NOT quit! I could unplug the computer and it would start up again playing that game! I had to have my dad get rid of it, and somehow he did. I will always hate that game with a passion .

[mcjakeqcool]

I liked digger. Lol! P.S I lolled, but I'm not jokeing.

[Lauren Tyler]

OK, wait a second, some of these games just aren't right.

 

Skate or Die? No way.

 

The Three Stooges?! Oh come on.

 

Paperboy? What is he thinking? Oh wait, he's not.

[FlightSuit]

Oh man, a Century Electronics game took control of your computer? That super-sucks!

 

This site has some pretty interesting tidbits about Century's entire lineup of crud:

 

arcade-history.com

 

From their description of the totally forgettable game, Hunchback:

 

"A classic and much-copied platform game..."

 

Really?

 

I was surprised to learn that it was actually ported from the arcades to a few home computer platforms.