"The 6 Most Retarded Gaming Consoles Ever Released"

[toptenmaterial]

So, how you guys enjoying your Channel Fs? Playing them often, yes?

 

nice one, I'll admit. I've never even seen a Channel F.

 

But I would like to reiterate that it is important to consider Channel F's year of release, 1976. Was anyone doing a better job then? And though is was soon archaic, it gave us a couple of important innovations: carts and modern controllers.

[opeygon]

Agreed topten. Furthermore, there's no way anyone will be collecting for PS3 and the like 35 years from now. They will be forgotten junk in the scrapheap of humanity. Channel F will always be a collectible and have a niche.

[VertigoProcess]

Really?! No game com?! But the nomad is on there?...

[ls650]

What the fudge is the Vectrex doing on this list?? Utter bullshit!

The Vectrex was a machine way, way ahead of its time, and should be a top 10 best list, not worst.

[Lord Thag]

That is a pretty lame list. A real one might be, in no particular order:

 

RCA Studio 2: Shitty games, no color, and no controllers. It went over about as well as New Coke and Snooki.

Game.Com: Terrible screen, poor games, and a hokey web browser that didn't work right.

CD-I: Featuring some of the worst games ever released on CD (including criminally bad versions of Zelda), this pile of utter weirdness was soon relegated to the home shopping channel.

Mattel Hyperscan: Bizarre hybrid of a console and collectible card system, it came packed with an X-men fighting game that took minutes to load. Between ROUNDS. It also looked like someone sat on it.

The Gameking: Hilariously bad Chinese import system with some of the most awesome Engrish manuals ever devised by man. Plays like a really shitty early Gameboy.

 

And my personal favorite:

 

The R-Zone: With carts that were nothing more than repackaged (and awful) LCD games which plugged into a headset so lame it looked like it was designed by a retarded borg drone, this thing has got to be the worst cart system ever designed by man.

 

There. Thats a real list.

 

Oh, and Sega Nomad MY ASS. I play mine more than any portable I own. MUSHA on the go? I'll take two!

[Animan]

I played a Channel F at SGC 2010. The guy who was running the "booth" was pretty awesome. He had just about every game for the system, and some of them were very fun.

 

The write-up for the Vectrex on the list made me sick.

 

"Vectrex, being the top engineers they were, came up with a brilliant solution to this problem: include several thin sheets of colored plastic with the system, so people could just lay them over the screen to give it some color. No, seriously."

 

First of all, Vectrex wasn't even the company name (I'll be nice and say it was a typo).

Secondly, they clearly didn't do their research: The overlays were only created because of the demands from the marketing group, and even the engineers thought it was a dumb idea.

Thirdly, to my knowledge, only one overlay was used for each game, not multiple thin sheets.

Fourthly, The overlays could contain way more than two colors.

And finally, they didn't even show the correct picture of Pole Position with the overlay: It was a picture of the prototype Color Vectrex displaying Pole Position in red. http://home.earthlink.net/~jmorg/vectrex/VecColorLives.htm

 

This is by far the worst video-game related list I've seen in a long, long time.

[VertigoProcess]

Yep, it's a dumb list. Vectrex, Sega Nomad, and Channel F have no business being on there. The Channel F choice is actually the stupidest one -- I'd think the Emerson Arcadia 2001 and RCA Studio II are far better candidates, especially the Studio II, a console about which I've never heard anyone say a kind word.

 

Its never exploded on me.

 

That's what she said.... im sorry...

[bigbee99]

I don't think the list is too far off. I don't agree with the Ody and Fairchild on the list though. They were pioneers, not retards.

 

Epoch? Sure....whatever.

Vectrex. All love aside, the thing is freaking retarded. Look at what the system was up against.

NEC SuperGrafx. I'll let that slide. Although the G&G pic looks SWEET!

Nomad. Only because of the battery life. Great idea, but the portability is not there.

 

I was surprised not the see the 5200. Even the RCA Studio. Or what about the Neo Geo CD? What a pile that thing was! I just look at that list and I can see 4 of them hanging out on the Island of Misfit Consoles asking "What were they thinking?"

 

B

[ApolloBoy]

Furthermore, there's no way anyone will be collecting for PS3 and the like 35 years from now. They will be forgotten junk in the scrapheap of humanity.

People said that about the 2600 and NES as well.

[mbd30]

Furthermore, there's no way anyone will be collecting for PS3 and the like 35 years from now. They will be forgotten junk in the scrapheap of humanity.

People said that about the 2600 and NES as well.

 

People will be collecting for PS3, etc. in the future, and games will be rare and expensive due to the fragility of digital media. It will also be difficult to find a working PS3. Maybe there will be awesome PS3 emulators by that point.

 

Of course there is also the online component. I assume fan servers will exist to keep online play going... if enough people still care about decades old PS3 games.

[+thegoldenband]

I played a Channel F at SGC 2010. The guy who was running the "booth" was pretty awesome. He had just about every game for the system, and some of them were very fun.

I've only played the Channel F in emulation, but a couple of the games seemed pretty fun indeed. When I have a big house, I'd like to own one.

 

The overlays were only created because of the demands from the marketing group, and even the engineers thought it was a dumb idea.

That being said, they add immeasurably to some games. Vector Pilot looks just amazing with the overlays -- it's the perfect type of game for them.

[A_Locomotive]

Really?! No game com?! But the nomad is on there?...

 

I actually ran into a Game.Com today, was in the area of my local play n trade and decided to pop in. They had one on the counter that had apparently just been traded in, it had Duke Nukem in it. First time I'd ever seen one in person.

[roland p]

That guy should stay away from computers.

 

Everyone can make a retarded list:

 

6. Nintendo wii. I want to play games, I don't want to wave like a retard in front of my tv! It lags like hell too, like you are connected to a rubber band.

5. Neo-Geo. Yeah, let's make a money-no-object high-end gaming system, call it '24-bit' and make mostly games with 2-characters fighting each other, boring!

4. Neo-Geo CD, same as above but with longer load times.

3. PS-1. crappy texture rendering, no antialias, no filtering, really weird perspective, Every game had to be '3d' and traded nice 60fps 2d graphics for crappy 30fps 3d polygons

2. NES. mediocre graphics, kiddie games, every game had a Nintendo-sauce over it.

1. Gameboy. 4-tone graphics, ancient processor, unwatchable in less than perfect lighting conditions, ear damaging sound quality, launched in a 16-bit era, nuff said.

 

Just kidding

Edited November 2, 2011 by roland p

[Numan]

Worst.

 

Article.

 

Ever.

[SoulBlazer]

Worst.

 

Article.

 

Ever.

 

Worst. Post. Ever.

 

(Seriously, it's not the WORST gaming article I've read.....not by a longshot.)