collection vs wife?

[voltron]

Originally I bought some Intellivision stuff at an auction here in town without my wife really being aware of it. I got a Sylvania INTV and 50+ CIB games for a very good price. We have been in the process of paying off her car and some joint bills as well as buying a house so she thought that may have been a bad purchase at the time. To avoid a fight at the time, I sold the system and a number of the games (Still have some left in the Marketplace) because I didn't have anything that couldn't be replaced. One buyer on this website got a hell of a lot of stuff for what I felt was a very good price.

 

When my wife saw how much I paid and how much I got for the games I sold, she greenlighted me to buy other stuff if I was going to sell it for more. I don't really want to go through the effort of reselling stuff as I'm a gamer, not a game store. I will sell what I have and in the future when finances are different, see if collecting is what I want to do.

 

That said, if I ever find one of the rare games, you can bet I'll buy it and get it to someone here for a lot less than what they're going for on EBAY.

 

Same here i dont really buy to resell, and most of the time any spares i have i just give away if they pay shipping. or trade the spare for something i don have. Im basically a collector and not a seller. i actually feel good now that the collection is "complete" but still on the look put for those homebrew games i dont have and dive into the variant abyss.

[SlowCoder]

Pertinent considerations, in this regard:

 

(1) How [ridiculously] large is the collection, vs. the [inadequate] allotted space?

 

(2) Is this stored [relatively] neatly, or does it look like an episode of Hoarders?

 

(3) Is your [ever-growing] collection well-within your budget?

 

(4) How well are you getting along, in other regards?

 

(5) What reciprocate transgressions do you allow for?

1. Not very large in comparison to some of you hoarders! I manage to keep it confined primarily to my man cave.

2. Try to keep it relatively neat. Does a walking path through the rubble count?

3. Oh, yeah. I don't go looking for stuff much any more. So I probably spend maybe $20-30/mo on average, including cleaning and maintenance materials.

4. Well, hu hu ... pretty well.

5. Uh ... what?

 

Even if everything's great in those regards, one still finds oneself running to the mailbox first or attempting to intercept the mailman, and conceal at least part of it. I think that part's normal.

LOL at that! I haven't done that in a long time, but I definitely know what you mean!

[Fixitguy74]

Video game collection? What video game collection? Just stay away from the locked room and all will be well.

[Tempest]

I voluntarily started downsizing my collection after I got married just because I didn't have the time to play with it anymore. My wife was very understanding about my collection and told me I could keep everything if I wanted and not to sell anything that I would regret later.

 

IMHO if your spouse is telling you to get rid of something you love 'or else', there's something else wrong in the relationship. By the time things get to the 'it's X or me' stage it's too late.

[SlowCoder]

IMHO if your spouse is telling you to get rid of something you love 'or else', there's something else wrong in the relationship. By the time things get to the 'it's X or me' stage it's too late.

Yep, most likely. By that time, they're probably just looking for an excuse to break it off.

My wife has always been very understanding of my interests, however childish they may be, and I thank her for that. Not that she would have, but I made it very clear that no one but me would dictate what I would and would not do with my hobbies. In the same way, I respect her hobbies and interests, whether I'm interested in them or not. She works on her scrapbooking and decorating stuff, and I play games, and work on and race my cars. It works out well.

[BassGuitari]

I must be one of the lucky ones. Not only does my wife accept my game collecting, she encourages it. Hell, she actively supports it; I've come home to surprise Intellivision, Apple II, and Aquarius stuff that she found and picked up for me. And that's not counting the stuff we've found together after 12 years of dating/commonlaw marriage. Although it's been mostly me doing the collecting over the last few years, it's really "our," rather than "my" collection.

 

(And I don't say that because of the whole "we're married so I get half your shit" thing. At least 25% of our collection is stuff she found and bought with no prodding from me. And the handheld/LCD/VFD department is entirely her doing.)

 

On top of that, whenever I start thinking about about selling stuff (I do have a lot that I never use, and I could use the space), she won't hear of it because she insists I'll regret it later if I do.

[Tempest]

On top of that, whenever I start thinking about about selling stuff (I do have a lot that I never use, and I could use the space), she won't hear of it because she insists I'll regret it later if I do.

I think the only reason my wife lets me get rid of stuff is because she knows we're going to have a smaller space when we move to CA. Otherwise I think she'd tell me to keep it all.

[Arkhan]

She was like "You buy all this old stuff! Why!"

 

and I said its my hobby!

 

then she was like "well dang, this is alot of stuff!"

 

then I said "so? I can afford it"

 

and she said errrr ok.

 

 

Then she got a 1200$ camera and was like "oh..... now I get it. You buy games and figures, and I buy cameras and stuff"

 

 

Hobbys rule.

 

 

If she tried to tell me not to buy games I'd probably be like "hahahahahahahahhaahhahaha. no"

[nukeshed]

Do people really have problems with the wimmenfolk about this problem? I mean, I like 'the ladies' more than I like my games, but if someone said 'Give up something you do for fun to have me', I'd just peace out there, and find some crazy WoW chick.

[stc2009]

Do people really have problems with the wimmenfolk about this problem? I mean, I like 'the ladies' more than I like my games, but if someone said 'Give up something you do for fun to have me', I'd just peace out there, and find some crazy WoW chick.

 

In short for me: "No" is the answer. Provided I don't breach (the obvious) hobby getting in the way of normal life, all is sweet.

[AtariLeaf]

I've been married for 20 years and I've been collecting on and off for 20 years. In actuality, she's the one who got me hooked by showing me an Atari and a bunch of games for $20 at a yardsale back in 1992.

She's not a fan although she likes some games like Frostbite and Tetris Attack but she's in no way critical of my hobby. Its much smaller now and for the most part my hunting and spending money is at a minimum as my collection for the most part is complete anyway. Its in our home office and out of the way of the rest of the house so space isn't an issue either.

I've never been asked to sell it (although she has dropped hints about how much money we'd have for this or that if I sold it all)

 

All in all my wife and my collection aren't really friends, just acquaintences who share a cool detachment.

Edited September 19, 2012 by AtariLeaf

[Arkhan]

I had a friend who got this girlfriend. Keyword: Had

 

 

She told him games were a waste of time.

 

 

So what does he do? Stops playing games (including D&D and Warhammer), and marries the fat waste of space.

 

 

Now, hes fat and boring.

 

 

and has like 2 friends that SHE found for him.

[nukeshed]

Now, hes fat and boring.

 

Fat happened to me too... my ex was a Patisserie baker, then my wife, well lets say I like what she cooks a little too much

 

Note: Im only like 210, but I am also like 5'6"

[Arkhan]

well, you didn't give up your hobbies and turn into a fat slug with 0 ambition!

 

 

Keeping your hobbies and acquiring a bakerwife is pretty cool in my book, lol.

 

 

mmm bakery.

[IntellivisionDude]

well, you didn't give up your hobbies and turn into a fat slug with 0 ambition!

 

 

Keeping your hobbies and acquiring a bakerwife is pretty cool in my book, lol.

 

 

mmm bakery.

 

If you're going to become fat and boring you should be playing video games to become that way. lol

 

On a side topic (which i don't want it to become a heated topic) i know someone from Youtube that gave up video games for his religion. I thought that was a bit on the crazy side. Not long before that he bought games from me. lol

[Fushek]

If you're going to become fat and boring you should be playing video games to become that way. lol

 

On a side topic (which i don't want it to become a heated topic) i know someone from Youtube that gave up video games for his religion. I thought that was a bit on the crazy side. Not long before that he bought games from me. lol

 

To my knowledge, Jesus has nothing against Burgertime, so I think that I'm safe. Now if I were playing Debbie Does whatever, then I could perhaps see a conflict of interests.

[Arkhan]

Any religion that stops you from gaming is worse than satanism and crap.

 

I'd rather skin cats than give up my games!

 

YEAHHHH!!!!!!!!

[godslabrat]

I got engaged two months ago, my fiance moved in with me a few weeks before that. When it was only my house, she never made any comment on my gaming habit, or how I had everything set up. After she started to unpack, she got frustrated that it was just "my stuff everywhere" and that the place "looked like a dorm room".

 

Of course, the gut reaction would be for me to say "Everything's the way I like it! Don't try to change me!" But then, I took a step back and tried to see what she was really asking for. I asked myself if maybe there wasn't a better way to organize my collection-- one that afforded more decorating options. Was there a way to set up my equipment that would be easier to use for someone not as tech-y? What could I do to offer her some of her own space in what was now OUR house?

 

So I made some careful decisions. I condensed some of the games onto fewer shelves and started moving some less important items into storage. I let go of my decorating priorities from bachelorhood and tried to find a better plan that reflected someone else living with me. And I figured, if I was able to do that, the games wouldn't be a problem in the long term, as long as I could be flexible. And you know what... I like the "scaled-down" version of my collection just as much as the "crap everywhere" version.

[Arkhan]

My girlfriend doesn't seem to complain about all my stuff everywhere, as long as its not in the living room, lol.

 

"I don't want family over having to stare at half naked chicks with lazers and shit"

 

lol

[BydoEmpire]

I'd agree with oldjd on this - if this hobby is taking too much time or money away from other goals you both have (debt, house, kids, etc) you should prioritize your life and probably scale back the collecting. If it's just a matter of having "too much stuff," you should have an honest conversation with your wife about your hobby, why it's important to you, find out what her real problem is, and find some kind of compromise. A lot of it is just talking things out - granted, that can be uncomfortable and you might want to pick the right time to approach it. .

 

Maybe her problem with your hobby is really not about your hobby at all, she's just lashing out at that because she doesn't want to talk about the real issue on her mind.

[WispFollower]

I'm not married, but I might as well be. I've been with this girl for years now, and she only encourages me to do what I love. She knows I am not irresponsible with money. I quit my job recently due to extreme lack of respect from my employer and his lackeys, but I had a little money saved. A few weeks back, I ran into a once in a lifetime situation. A video game hoarder died, leaving a 40 year old collection to be sold. I bought all I thought I could. My girlfriend never gave me the feeling I shouldn't be doing this, even though it was mostly Colecovision and Atari stuff which I knew nothing about. Hell, she even threw in some cash when she realized what an investment it was. I am extremely lucky, and always try not to take my situation for granted. The guy selling me the stuff was amazed when she said she would never force me to get rid of a single gaming item and told me to hold onto her! haha

[DeusExMachina]

This has never been a problem for me. My wife loves purses and has an extensive collection. It began with Coach, then Burberry, then Louis Vuitton and now Hermes. She has a few very expensive limited edition ones. Anyone ever hear of a Birkin? I collect video games, she is as disinterested in my video games as I am in her purses. But we both recognize our desire to collect things...so there is no problem.

[DeusExMachina]

I'm not married, but I might as well be. I've been with this girl for years now, and she only encourages me to do what I love. She knows I am not irresponsible with money. I quit my job recently due to extreme lack of respect from my employer and his lackeys, but I had a little money saved. A few weeks back, I ran into a once in a lifetime situation. A video game hoarder died, leaving a 40 year old collection to be sold. I bought all I thought I could. My girlfriend never gave me the feeling I shouldn't be doing this, even though it was mostly Colecovision and Atari stuff which I knew nothing about. Hell, she even threw in some cash when she realized what an investment it was. I am extremely lucky, and always try not to take my situation for granted. The guy selling me the stuff was amazed when she said she would never force me to get rid of a single gaming item and told me to hold onto her! haha

 

You are off to a good start, but things can change when there is a ring on the finger and when kids enter the picture.

[WispFollower]

Yeah I realize things can change, but if I make an effort to keep our relationship in good standing and not take advantage of her understanding, I think we will do fine. Also, we have both talked extensively about how we do not ever want kids. I admit my life's philosophy is ever evolving, but we both agree we have too much we wish to do with our own lives to ever want to spend any time or money on kids (the neighbors' noisy brats aren't helping us warm up to the idea of offspring anyway haha). I do not wish to put down child rearing, as it is noble, respectable, rewarding, and all that. Shaping a human consciousness is a severely heavy task not to be taken lightly, so I'd prefer not to take it at all. I just enjoy traveling, hobbies, and general lack of serious responsibility too much. I'm sure I seem like a classic case to some, but it's tough to know someone through a couple posts on a forum.

[Cebus Capucinis]

My wife tolerates my stuff. She's not to keen on it, and my most recent purchase had her raising her eyebrows in irritation, but meh, I'm a big boy, I put on my Pull-Ups every day and I can do what I want, damnit!