Atari Jaguar Capabilities

[+CyranoJ]

As spoken by a true Jagtard

 

 

 

No no no. Thats not a Jagtard.

 

This is a Jagtard: Webster defines: 'jagtard \ˈjag-tärd\ definition [partial]: A Jaguar fan who allows PSX tards to stop them from speculating or having fun about what really may or may not be possible on their system.

[JagChris]

As spoken by a true Jagtard

 

 

Takes a PSX tard to know a Jagtard.

[+CyranoJ]

Considering I don't own a PSX.....

 

I thank you for proving my point

[JagChris]

Considering I don't own a PSX.....

 

I thank you for proving my point

 

 

Where did I say PSX tard = PSX owner? Thanks for proving mine.

[+CyranoJ]

Well, Jagtards are also pedantic.

[sh3-rg]

For me, that's more a Jag-super-fan than a Jagtard.

 

A Jagtard, the way I have always considered it at least, is someone who cares only for the dramas they can create in "the community", especially those around active development. The games, they're not even a distant second, especially anything that came after the Jaguar's demise.

 

The Jagtard conducts itself in the following fashion: They simply tell dev A that dev B is an evil pirate and a malicious hacker, and of course they have real, hard, concrete proof, honest... but they never actually get around to supplying that. Safe in the Jagtards knowledge that dev A is highly strung, open to suggestion if the cause suits, possibly just one tiny step away from being sectioned and highly territorial when it comes to their playground that is the Jaguar, the resulting fallout is inevitable and their success assured. Then when dev C comes along, they pull the same stunt and dev A once again suffers a public and humiliating meltdown, and the Jagtard rejoices in the fruits of their minimal labour. Of course, dev A, at this point, is completely enamoured with the Jagtard's insightful "behind the scenes" knowledge and installs them as their right hand man.

 

By the time dev C and Dev D come along, Dev A is all but a recluse, twitching the curtains for fear of any passing pirates, not answering the 'phone incase it's a devious hacker trying to infiltrate the safety of the CEO's bunker, i.e. filling all available jars in the basement.

 

This is the point where the Jagtard has cried wolf one too many times, their status in "the community" is in tatters and dev A has perhaps even realised he's been taken for a ride for the past decade. But so what, the Jagtard had his fun and there's always a career ahead in such fields as, oh, I don't know... journalism perhaps? Or possibly an exciting life on the seven seas, eBaying the work of others for up to £70.00 a pop for the cost of a CD-R, a piece of paper and a 50p plastic case. Beats a giro from David Cameron any day of the week!

 

Yeah, there's very few actual Jagtards out there, probably no more than 2 or 3. But unfortunately, that's all it takes.

[high voltage]

 

This kind?

 

Sure.

 

But this kind?

 

 

 

$*%& that.

QuickShots rock, it's Spectravideo, they did excellent joysticks, all Joysticks rock, the top picture stick not so much, the control is wrong side, like a Vectrex stick, but still better than a stupid joypad. Those stupid NES joypad suck the most.

 

I showed some youngsters an Atari stick last weekend, they didn't know how it works, it's sad.

Edited April 23, 2014 by high voltage

[NeoGeoNinja]

QuickShots rock, it's Spectravideo, they did excellent joysticks, all Joysticks rock, the top picture stick not so much, the control is wrong side, like a Vectrex stick, but still better than a stupid joypad. Those stupid NES joypad suck the most.

 

I showed some youngsters an Atari stick last weekend, they didn't know how it works, it's sad.

 

The control/stick is on the WRONG side?! I'm guessing you have already celebrated your 40th Birthday... back in 2007?

 

Just the general impression you're giving me

 

So, slightly off tangent but... do you like Japanese games companies, at all... vs say the Western gaming era of late 70's through early 90's?

[JagChris]

For me, that's more a Jag-super-fan than a Jagtard.

 

A Jagtard, the way I have always considered it at least, is someone who cares only for the dramas they can create in "the community", especially those around active development. The games, they're not even a distant second, especially anything that came after the Jaguar's demise.

 

The Jagtard conducts itself in the following fashion: They simply tell dev A that dev B is an evil pirate and a malicious hacker, and of course they have real, hard, concrete proof, honest... but they never actually get around to supplying that. Safe in the Jagtards knowledge that dev A is highly strung, open to suggestion if the cause suits, possibly just one tiny step away from being sectioned and highly territorial when it comes to their playground that is the Jaguar, the resulting fallout is inevitable and their success assured. Then when dev C comes along, they pull the same stunt and dev A once again suffers a public and humiliating meltdown, and the Jagtard rejoices in the fruits of their minimal labour. Of course, dev A, at this point, is completely enamoured with the Jagtard's insightful "behind the scenes" knowledge and installs them as their right hand man.

 

By the time dev C and Dev D come along, Dev A is all but a recluse, twitching the curtains for fear of any passing pirates, not answering the 'phone incase it's a devious hacker trying to infiltrate the safety of the CEO's bunker, i.e. filling all available jars in the basement.

 

This is the point where the Jagtard has cried wolf one too many times, their status in "the community" is in tatters and dev A has perhaps even realised he's been taken for a ride for the past decade. But so what, the Jagtard had his fun and there's always a career ahead in such fields as, oh, I don't know... journalism perhaps? Or possibly an exciting life on the seven seas, eBaying the work of others for up to £70.00 a pop for the cost of a CD-R, a piece of paper and a 50p plastic case. Beats a giro from David Cameron any day of the week!

 

Yeah, there's very few actual Jagtards out there, probably no more than 2 or 3. But unfortunately, that's all it takes.

 

I like this. I agree.

[Austin]

So, slightly off tangent but... do you like Japanese games companies, at all... vs say the Western gaming era of late 70's through early 90's?

No, he does not.

 

I.e., feel free to take his opinions with a grain of salt.

[JagChris]

I agree with him. If you're young and use to the D-pads on the left side then yes the joystick is probably in the right spot. If you're old, and right handed, using a joystick on the left side is considered the wrong side.

 

 

 

The control/stick is on the WRONG side?! I'm guessing you have already celebrated your 40th Birthday... back in 2007?

 

Just the general impression you're giving me

 

So, slightly off tangent but... do you like Japanese games companies, at all... vs say the Western gaming era of late 70's through early 90's?

[high voltage]

 

The control/stick is on the WRONG side?! I'm guessing you have already celebrated your 40th Birthday... back in 2007?

 

Just the general impression you're giving me

 

So, slightly off tangent but... do you like Japanese games companies, at all... vs say the Western gaming era of late 70's through early 90's?

 

This is AtariAge, being old goes without saying.

Western games are better than Japanese games, I'm just partial to USA gaming, BUT it's ok Western companies doing Japanese games, eg Atari, Parker etc....of course, anything for Atari.

And I need a real joystick, control = right hand, fire = left hand, simple and effective.

 

 

 

 

grain of salt, yes I like Japanese gaming, but I like USA gaming more, it's the real thing.

PSX is my favourite Japanese console.

Edited April 23, 2014 by high voltage

[NeoGeoNinja]

I agree with him. If you're young and use to the D-pads on the left side then yes the joystick is probably in the right spot. If you're old, and right handed, using a joystick on the left side is considered the wrong side.

 

I suppose 'old' is subjective though, huh?

 

I'm in my early 30's and was brought up (initially) on a diet of 2600, C64 and my best friends A500 (we couldn't afford that sort of tech in my household!).

 

However, at this time (around 87-88) I acquired a SEGA MasterSystem. I actually exchanged it for my C64.

 

The whole concept of having a Dpad and TWO buttons revolutionised games for me. Obviously... not just me, but that's how I felt at the time. I loved it

[NeoGeoNinja]

Western games are better than Japanese games, I'm just partial to USA gaming, BUT it's ok Western companies doing Japanese games, eg Atari, Parker etc....of course, anything for Atari.

 

Heh... ironically, the game industry is certainly starting to shift in that direction this last decade thanks to *drum roll pls* MicroSoft.

 

But, taking a step back re: 8-bit & 16-bit era... I'd have to disagree, from personal (preference) standpoint.

 

As mentioned earlier, I grew up on Atari's and Commodore's, however, as soon as I got a "whiff" of SEGA and (later) Nintendo, there was no going back for me.

 

But, I (heavily) suspect that we are different ages, thus, if I am indeed 10 years your junior, chances are you didn't want to be playing Super Mario World in '91 vs what you could get on Home Computers at that time...?

[high voltage]

True, I also hate Japanese developers because they never contributed to Western consoles or computers with the exception of later 3DO and Xbox (and Sega and Konami for VCS). They could've coded for Jaguar.

The Japanese copy everything Western but contribute not.

Edited April 24, 2014 by high voltage

[LinkoVitch]

I agree with him. If you're young and use to the D-pads on the left side then yes the joystick is probably in the right spot. If you're old, and right handed, using a joystick on the left side is considered the wrong side.

 

 

 

Not really.. Joystick on the left is a hangover from the Arcades.. even old arcade machines have joystick on the left and buttons on the right. I had one of these Silverline 26 cabs a few years ago (

 

Think it's down to if you are a child of the arcades or the home computer where it makes a difference. I play plenty of d-pad based consoles which feels right, but arcade style joysticks do feel wrong to me as well. Well, they take some getting used to

[ggn]

True, I also hate Japanese developers because they never contributed to Western consoles or computers with the exception of later 3DO and Xbox (and Sega and Konami for VCS). They could've coded for Jaguar.

The Japanese copy everything Western but contribute not.

Well, at least they approved of the Jaguar

 

Edited April 24, 2014 by ggn

[NeoGeoNinja]

 

Well, at least they approved of the Jaguar

 

 

I have to ask... do you have a better, higher res scan of this?

 

It's f*cking amazing!

Edited April 24, 2014 by NeoGeoNinja

[ggn]

I have to ask... do you have a better, higher res scan of this?

 

It's f*cking amazing!

Well, you could ask the nice people over at Café Fuji.

 

...but I hear the service there is just terrible .

[high voltage]

Atari should have been huge in Japan,

[NeoGeoNinja]

Well, you could ask the nice people over at Café Fuji.

 

...but I hear the service there is just terrible .

 

My God. This was f*cking hilarious:

 

 

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." apoligises MacGowan "and at this point, we are fucking desperate. We need someone with experience of selling a failing American console to an uninterested Japanese populous, and Bodin is hugely experienced in the field of failure."

 

"I can't believe they want me!" cried a gleeful Bodin, struggling under the weight of an enormous money sack. "I showed them my promotional posters we made for the Jaguar in Japan. I think they highlight quite why the Jaguar was as successful as it was!"

 

 

[sh3-rg]

Cafe Fuji - the atariscene's answer to uk resistance... fun times!

 

The reader survey, the part at the end in the conclusion - Bruno Bonnel - cracks me up every time!

 

See you in the shower!

 

 

--

 

Café Fuji Reader Survey

 

As is well known, the Café Fuji mission statement is "to serve others with honour and cheap groceries". We pride ourselves on being the Number One People Company.

To fulfil these ambitions, we have polled our regular customers to find out exactly why they chose to visit our humble establishment.

So what are you, the public, looking for?

According to our ISP, these are the phrases most used by search engines to visit our site.

1. Bathsex
This was the landslide winner, beating the second place entry by more than 2 to 1.
We made an obscure reference to it in a story about Error In Line, and since then we have been awash with bathsex fetishists, they have quite literally been flooding the site. If you are one of the followers of this particular activity, here's something for you: "Cold Tap" - bet that has got you a bit hot under the collar.

2. Sophie Ellis Bexter
You know. Her. Was on that record with that lanky bloke. Blue Peter connections.

3. Infogrammes
They own atari, and soon, if Nostradamus is to be believed, they will own the world. Our favourite related search phrase of recent time was for "infogrammes crappy games". Bet that overloaded the search engines.

4. Bruno Bonnel
Le slap-tete gaming industry boss proves himself to be France's most popular export since snail sandwiches.

5. Wanking
Admittedly, here at Café Fuji we have turned this into something of an artform, so it is not surprising that people seek our advice. Also popular : "wanking machine, how to make a"

6. Showering Girls
Girls & Showers - always a popular combination. If we could bottle it up and sell it, we would make a fortune. Have to be pretty large bottles though.

7. Atari
Pretty unpopular with the public at large. And who can blame them?

8. Weird Shit
They all come here. Searchers for "princess di upskirt", "penis enlargers", "fat polish women". We don't know why. We don't really encourage them. But they keep themselves to themselves and seem reasonably well behaved, so we just let them get on with it.

And the moral to this story? The shadowy financial "geniuses" behind the Café Fuji empire are always pushing us for "higher ratings", "more hits" and to "make your site stickier so we can maximise advertising revenue."

In order to appease 'the man', we are going to making the following changes to the site:

• Bathsex bonanza with live plughole-cam feeds
• Weekly showing girls gallery featuring "celebrities in the shower"
• Bruno Bonnel wanking over a mountainous pile of crappy infogrammes games
• Ditching unprofitable atari related material

There may be a recession on the way, but we are going be damn sure that we miss it.

See you in the shower.

[JagChris]

You are right. Joysticks on the left were an arcade thing. But they were also bolted down to a cabinet that acted as an anchor. For right handers it seemed better to use our left hand as an anchor and our right for controlling the stick. I don't know how else to explain it I guess.

 

 

Not really.. Joystick on the left is a hangover from the Arcades.. even old arcade machines have joystick on the left and buttons on the right. I had one of these Silverline 26 cabs a few years ago (

 

Think it's down to if you are a child of the arcades or the home computer where it makes a difference. I play plenty of d-pad based consoles which feels right, but arcade style joysticks do feel wrong to me as well. Well, they take some getting used to

[LinkoVitch]

I agree with you, it feels weird having the stick on the left

 

Most of the time these kinds of arcade stick are quite large so it should be possible to hold it in place on your lap/table with your right palm, some have suckers etc to help keep them in place on tables etc...

 

Other than that.. GRIP WITH YOUR THIGHS!!!! It's an added dimension to gaming :D

[+Stephen]

I agree with you, it feels weird having the stick on the left

 

Most of the time these kinds of arcade stick are quite large so it should be possible to hold it in place on your lap/table with your right palm, some have suckers etc to help keep them in place on tables etc...

 

Other than that.. GRIP WITH YOUR THIGHS!!!! It's an added dimension to gaming :D

I often think about this when it comes to driving a car from the UK. I think I would have a harder time getting used to shifting with my left hand, than I would everything else about right hand drive