CRAP Games © ® ™ Seeks Programmers

[BBWW]

Cheap Retro Anal Productions © ® ™- CRAP Games © ® ™ is seeking out programmers. 50/50 split. Our marketing is simple. Make 60 30 cart only releases of each release and sell them at $30 each at Game Expos. Any remaining inventory after the "30" games are sold out belong exclusivly to the programmer and the producer to be destroyed...or sold if the price rises to $300 or above on Ebay. This is outside the purview of CRAP Game © ® ™!

 

Send submissions to CRAP © ® ™ . Funding is available at each milestone in development, to be deducted from your half of the total 50/50 split on completion. Poor or incomplete games are encouraged. We will load new Boards in used Carts and inkjet some shiny new labels. We put our CRAP Games © ® ™ out cheap. We provide the manufacture and distribution, you provide the content or something resembling content.

 

Earn up to $7500 or more with our generous LCI Program. (Leftover Cart Incentive).

 

Our goal is simple, remove the incentive for a BLIX to ever happen again! We are trying to get our first Product out in time for Portland!

 

You think I'm kidding!

[+grips03]

I thought someone was already working on Blix 2, the Blixing for PRGE?

[BBWW]

I thought someone was already working on Blix 2, the Blixing for PRGE?

Of course they would. LOL

 

I'm more open to other smallish funish games...mini games...Intellivision Video Holiday Cards any thing that might never make it to CIB.

[+Tarzilla]

Cheap Retro Anal Productions © ® ™- CRAP Games © ® ™ is seeking out programmers. 50/50 split. Our marketing is simple. Make 60 30 cart only releases of each release and sell them at $30 each at Game Expos. Any remaining inventory after the "30" games are sold out belong exclusivly to the programmer and the producer to be destroyed...or sold if the price rises to $300 or above on Ebay. This is outside the purview of CRAP Game © ® ™!

 

Send submissions to CRAP © ® ™ . Funding is available at each milestone in development, to be deducted from your half of the total 50/50 split on completion. Poor or incomplete games are encouraged. We will load new Boards in used Carts and inkjet some shiny new labels. We put our CRAP Games © ® ™ out cheap. We provide the manufacture and distribution, you provide the content or something resembling content.

 

Earn up to $7500 or more with our generous LCI Program. (Leftover Cart Incentive).

 

Our goal is simple, remove the incentive for a BLIX to ever happen again! We are trying to get our first Product out in time for Portland!

 

You think I'm kidding!

I don't see you on the list of exhibitors...

http://www.retrogamingexpo.com/exhibitors.php

[BBWW]

I'll be in the Lobby with the open Trench Coat!

 

I don't see you on the list of exhibitors...
http://www.retrogamingexpo.com/exhibitors.php

[+Tarzilla]

I'll be in the Lobby with the open Trench Coat!

 

 

You've been around Rev and Cmart too long...

[+cmart604]

You've been around Rev and Cmart too long...

Lol!

[BBWW]

You may be right! LOL I still say it's a good Idea.

 

You've been around Rev and Cmart too long...

[+Lathe26]

I'll be in the Lobby with the open Trench Coat!

 

I'll bring some bleach to wash my eyes.

[wolfy62]

Between the"i'll be in the lobby with the open trench coat!"comment and the"I'll bring some bleach to wash my eyes" , I gotta find a way to make it to the Expo. Funny stuff!

[+intellivotion]

lol!!!

 

[+freewheel]

You think I'm kidding!

 

Nope. Contact me for a licensing agreement on the world's only Xbox One simulator for Intellivision.

[BBWW]

Just the opening screen for that is worth a Cart Release!!

 

Nope. Contact me for a licensing agreement on the world's only Xbox One simulator for Intellivision.

[Kiwi]

I do have that Apple Catching game. Maybe that would be a good candidate for your company. All you have to do is catch apples, don't catch the spiny hungry worm or that basket of yours is worm food. I may add another levels in this game where you have to catch chicken eggs. Don't catch chicken poop, or it'll ruin your basket, which is no good.

[BBWW]

PM sent.

 

I do have that Apple Catching game. Maybe that would be a good candidate for your company. All you have to do is catch apples, don't catch the spiny hungry worm or that basket of yours is worm food. I may add another levels in this game where you have to catch chicken eggs. Don't catch chicken poop, or it'll ruin your basket, which is no good.

[DZ-Jay]

I do have that Apple Catching game. Maybe that would be a good candidate for your company. All you have to do is catch apples, don't catch the spiny hungry worm or that basket of yours is worm food. I may add another levels in this game where you have to catch chicken eggs. Don't catch chicken poop, or it'll ruin your basket, which is no good.

 

I'm afraid the Apple Catching game is good and too playable for CRAP Games © ® ™. Can you add faulty sound and confusing game-play?

[nanochess]

I do have that Apple Catching game. Maybe that would be a good candidate for your company. All you have to do is catch apples, don't catch the spiny hungry worm or that basket of yours is worm food. I may add another levels in this game where you have to catch chicken eggs. Don't catch chicken poop, or it'll ruin your basket, which is no good.

 

chicken poop

[DZ-Jay]

What I'd like to know is, how does chicken poop get on the apples as they fall from the tree?

[+intellivotion]

I think too many true programmers write in this thread.

 

Hey, this is CRAP Games © ® ™: because I am NOT a programmer, therefore I am a CRAP programmer, I propose (in order of smell):

 

Krapboom!

Keystone Krapers

Krap-Aid Man

Sewer Sam II - The lost crap (there is some crap there, isn't it?)

Edited September 12, 2015 by intellivotion

[+intellivotion]

I don't see you on the list of exhibitors...

http://www.retrogami.../exhibitors.php

I'll be in the Lobby with the open Trench Coat!

 

Believe it or not I told this joke to at least 5 friends and colleagues!!!

Edited September 12, 2015 by intellivotion

[danwinslow]

I've always wanted to get my directed fart game 'Sprackman' published, but I don't know anything about INTV/Aquarius.

Edited September 12, 2015 by danwinslow

[Kiwi]

What I'd like to know is, how does chicken poop get on the apples as they fall from the tree?

I think the big question is, how the heck did that chicken get up in the trees?

 

 

 

 

chicken poop

Hmm... I guess I could have the chicken morph into a duck over time. I heard duck poop all over the place. I never heard such thing for a chicken.

 

 

I think too many true programmers write in this thread.

 

Hey, this is CRAP Games © ® ™: because I am NOT a programmer, therefore I am a CRAP programmer, I propose (in order of smell):

 

Krapboom!

Keystone Krapers

Krap-Aid Man

Sewer Sam II - The lost crap (there is some crap there, isn't it?)

Krapboom!!! You have to steer the bedpan to catch poop from elderly patients. If a poop hit the fans that is on the floor for some reasons. Then you lose one of your bedpan. Over time they are being fed prune, laxative, and Red Bull, that makes them poop a lot quicker and faster. Dare miss 3 times, then you're pooped out.

[nanochess]

I think too many true programmers write in this thread.

 

Hey, this is CRAP Games © ® ™: because I am NOT a programmer, therefore I am a CRAP programmer, I propose (in order of smell):

 

Krapboom!

Keystone Krapers

Krap-Aid Man

Sewer Sam II - The lost crap (there is some crap there, isn't it?)

 

At this point I'm not sure if it's a joke or if some game is going to get out of this!

[BBWW]

Some great Ideas, pee pee and poo poo jokes have worked since Greek theatre, I see no reason the can't be in an Intellivision Game. I'm not sure poop works with a food game for me though, maybe I'll leave that for our game Splooshing.

 

Some great Ideas. This is my own response to BLIX being so highly collectible and what I would say is not a very good game. :-) Our goal is always to exceed that level and work on keeping the prices affordable and the game play the best we can knowing we won't make money doing it. Most will be cart only games. I would love to do one CIB release. Then have carts available for those who only want carts. The release of ROM Only sales will be up to the programmer(s). They retain all rights to the work after the first run of games and can do what they want after that.

 

If I can't have fun doing this I will stop, but at the moment I'm serious as, well as much as I am ever serious. Piggy Bank is in development fast-track. If it gets close to being done for Portland, I'll try to work something out with the Portland Show as to not violate their rules or look for someone with a table and "rent" a corner. Maybe I can pay for "Trench Coat" sales.

 

I don't want to steal content or own content. I want to licence content for a release, then have it stay in control of it's creator. No one should own someone else's art unless the artist wishes to sell it. So the authors will retain rights to the programs.

 

[+Tarzilla]

Some great Ideas, pee pee and poo poo jokes have worked since Greek theatre, I see no reason the can't be in an Intellivision Game. I'm not sure poop works with a food game for me though, maybe I'll leave that for our game Splooshing.

 

Some great Ideas. This is my own response to BLIX being so highly collectible and what I would say is not a very good game. :-) Our goal is always to exceed that level and work on keeping the prices affordable and the game play the best we can knowing we won't make money doing it. Most will be cart only games. I would love to do one CIB release. Then have carts available for those who only want carts. The release of ROM Only sales will be up to the programmer(s). They retain all rights to the work after the first run of games and can do what they want after that.

 

If I can't have fun doing this I will stop, but at the moment I'm serious as, well as much as I am ever serious. Piggy Bank is in development fast-track. If it gets close to being done for Portland, I'll try to work something out with the Portland Show as to not violate their rules or look for someone with a table and "rent" a corner. Maybe I can pay for "Trench Coat" sales.

 

I don't want to steal content or own content. I want to licence content for a release, then have it stay in control of it's creator. No one should own someone else's art unless the artist wishes to sell it. So the authors will retain rights to the programs.

 

So you are seriously trying to rush a real, cart only release of the Piggy game in less than 4 weeks? In my opinion you are now doing the exact same thing that you are ranting about what the people that produced Blix did, maybe worse because you are fully aware of what you are doing.

 

We don't want simple games knocked off with IntyBasic over a couple of weekends that are rushed because you want to release a cart at a show and are hoping collectors buy it so "they can have them all" especially if you artificially limit the numbers.

 

If Piggy is released at PRGE and hasn't gone thru rigorous testing (ON ALL VERSIONS of Inty hardware, including PAL), is just a half assed Kaboom clone, expect to be open to a flood of criticism equal or greater than Blix ever got.

 

If you don't love your game concept and don't want to put in basic Game Design 101 practices like High Scores, Skill Level selection. Multiplayer, background/level changing because you are rushing to meet a show...don't bother.