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New Atari Console that Ataribox?


Goochman

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Thats why I stopped following this long ago (I come back to lurk every now and then but thats about it) and like Flojo said a few pages back on why no news outlets are reporting or talking about this. Its so uninteresting, not to mention going exactly how we all predicted it would.

 

As we can see, The concept like Kevtris did only takes a few hours to do (Thank you so much for doing that!) Which proves Nutari has done absolutely nothing all this time or Nutari's group of people working on it are some of the absolutely stupidest people on the planet and thats literally all theyre supposedly making and yet have nothing to show about it after all this time. (Give me some written instructions with pictures or a youtube video and i could load linux and/or Windows and Centipede on a board too, may take longer then three hours but I could do it in a day and im pretty electronic illiterate myself. Im sure most people could.) The only real work that Nutari would need to do is making a custom OS and all that, yet they still havent done the simple part of loading Linux on it.

 

Yet they released an update about talking about different materials for their popsicle stick that theyll glue to the front of the case and showed obviously fake photos of a fake work station and different square wood samples. So they spent months staring at different wood samples thinking about which one they want to use?

 

I did get a chuckle out of their "legal, self imposed or regulatory restrictions" statement. Sadly the sheep are too blind and oblivious to realize Nutari was telling them to F off and die.

Edited by Pink
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I present to everyone... the Poly Ataco Mega Box VCS! It has a 64 bit AMD CPU! and umm, electrons, and chips and things!

 

 

First, the M.2 SSD is installed. It has so much POWER that it sticks out past the end of the PCB, and it needs to be held down with a special retention device.

 

taco3.jpg

 

Well crap. It has so much drively power that it wasn't bootable... Never fear, the SSD of doom will fix it right up! SATA to the rescue

 

taco1.jpg

 

After the drive situation is sorted, I proceeded to install Windows 10, earm, Linux on it...

 

taco4.jpg

 

Loading taco.exe....

 

taco5.jpg

 

Success! We have tacos!

 

Oh yeah, it runs Millipede too.

 

taco2.jpg

 

 

Seriously though, it is no joke. I did indeed get this AMD dev board to install windows onto the SATA drive via a USB stick, and loaded MAME onto it and ran Millipede. It took around 3-4 hours total, with about 1.5 hours spent futzing around with EDID hacking to fix my monitor's broken EDID so that I could get the entire image to display. (known problem with this old LCD). This shows that Atari did basically no work last year getting that board to run outside of installing an OS and an emulator. Proving that anyone can make an Ataribox prototype in their own home!

 

One thing, I didn't manage to get into the BIOS so I could not make the M.2 bootable. This is a dev board so it might not be possible, or there's some weird way to do it. If anyone knows, I'd like to hear. I don't even know what BIOS it runs- it doesn't say on boot.

Uh-oh, you might of broke some of the legal and/or regulatory restrictions on giving updates and details about loading an OS on a board and making a PC with off the shelf parts... LMAO
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Uh-oh, you might of broke some of the legal and/or regulatory restrictions on giving updates and details about loading an OS on a board and making a PC with off the shelf parts... LMAO

If "Atari" needs help patenting this brilliant idea*, I know of a guy...

 

post-2410-0-80741800-1553362557_thumb.jpeg

 

@Pink -- of course the project is stupid and boring. The meta-game, the discussion of the thing, is where the fun is. Tacos.

 

*pile of random shit posing as work and progress

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When this thing Bomb squads I'll have to run out to get lots of snacks and tacos and more snacks just to make sure I am part of the drama... probably gonna need 2 screens and browsers going just to keep up with all the posts and youtube videos, can wait for the #CUP Ian/Pat DejaVu rants against all future forms of Indiegogo retro thingamajig start up. I just hope Gamester81 stays away this time around.

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I don't know why, but for some reason, lately I've been thinking about this thing and "atari" (especially their "Self-Imposed" reasoning), and something I hadn't thought about in years popped into my head.

 

Remember that "Time Machine" sequence in Napoleon Dynamite?

 

It was funny enough on the surface, but I always thought the joke was even deeper if you reflect upon it. They bought it from some guy online. Now this guy already has their money. He could have disappeared and no one would be the wiser, but Instead he sends them something and, What happens next?

 

As if the guy is pouring salt into an open wound, when they try to use it, It Zaps'em!

 

Right in the Junk! ...

 

And the guy laughs (evilly) all the way to the bank.

post-45412-0-74347600-1553376158.gif

post-45412-0-48439200-1553376190.gif

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After Nutari announced their imaginary console would be getting an imaginary CPU upgrade, word on the street is Chipboard Dev Headquarters has seen a flurry of action, with Team Cheesehead working on an upgraded power supply.

 

post-52250-0-13567000-1553406930.gif

Edited by Spriggy
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I had a run-in with two brands this weekend, and was of course reminded of everyone's favorite empty box, the Atari VCS* ...

 

Remember Keds?

 

post-2410-0-77233100-1553450725.jpg

 

GenX people on this board would remember the dorky canvas sneakers with a little blue rubber license plate on the heels. When we were kids, they were, along with Converse All-Stars, the cheap, old-fashioned, no-frills option you'd buy if you didn't have much money and didn't care about style. They were everywhere, but they were far from cool.

 

Yesterday, we saw some at the thrift store and thought they'd be a fun, cute throwback for our tween daughter. We were surprised to see them priced at ten bucks a pair, and thought maybe that was a mistake, that they should be just a dollar or two instead. Nope! Turns out they're trendy now, and a new pair of Keds can cost up to eighty dollars.

 

Apparently the Keds mark has been purchased and passed around over the years, and has become a "lifestyle brand." Obviously, "Atari" aspires to be like this.

 

So later on, we saw a crazy car we'd never seen before. It looked like a modern Aston Martin but had an unusual marque, quiet like a Tesla but styled like a Maserati.

 

post-2410-0-89807300-1553451170_thumb.jpg

 

It's a Karma. These are exceedingly rare. The style looks like the Aston Martin because it shares the original designer, the founder of the eponymous Fisker Automotive, bought up by Chinese investors at fire sale prices after their bankruptcy. From what I've read about it, the Karma seems inferior to the Tesla in every possible way, but costs a bit more. It sounds like a real piece of crap that doesn't need to exist.

 

Some quotes from Dont Buy a Karma Revero, Buy a Tesla Instead. Or Anything Else. ... (the rest of the review is interesting, too)

Early reviews had critics thrilled the car worked. That this is the base line for evaluating a vehicle in the modern age is terrible. Being happy with a car simply because it works? For $130,000$140,000 with all of the optionsI expect it to do a lot more than that.

Doesn't that sound like something that Rob "Hands Down Trousers" Wyatt would say in one of his fabulous "updates? Or the faint praise from the backers who just want something with the "Atari" name on their shelves, regardless of quality, value, or timeliness of delivery?

Multiple times yesterday, to multiple Karma employees, I asked: Who will buy this car?

We have some good prospects from people who loved Fisker, (30 percent of Fisker owners have come back to the brand, they report) and It will be people who want to stand out, they said. (Ill give them the latter.)

 

The customers who buy this are OK being noticed, Taylor told me. We have a lot of interest from current Tesla owners. For a lot of them, its My car isnt interesting anymore, he said.

Not unlike Atari claiming they're not competing with Microsoft or Sony, but are doing their own thing. Or Tommy wanting something other than his "boring" Playstation, Xbox, or Switch. Something unusual or rare, built on loyalty to the brand more than anything else.

 

What does it do well? Nothing much ...

But I can see how this is a difficult question. Taylor said the Karma is not set up to go to the airport and pick up a bunch of luggage, but on the other hand, its not meant to be a rocket ship or even, amusingly, to replace your Maserati. What are we talking about again?

This is not meant to be a testosterone car, Taylor said. If you want a zero-to-60-mph car, go get that one.

So if its not a practical daily driver and its not a sporty scream machine, then what is it? Its like the GT touring cars, he said. This is a third or fourth car that you take up the highway on a drive. Youre not going anywhere, youre just driving.

No. Thats like having a restaurant you opened to serve people who arent hungry, and the worst thing about the joint is the food.

Or Michael "Empty Box" Arzt, who can't articulate a good reason to buy the Atari VCS* other than an easy way for Mom to find Netflix.

 

Why does it even exist? They're not selling very many. Is it for money laundering, somebody's ego trip, or what?

OK. At any rate, Karma has eight dealers in the U.S. and two in Canada processing a total of 100 orders for the car, so far. It has licensing in China to manufacture cars there in the distant future, after this first generation runs its course and if things go very well. But when asked when Gen 2 might appear, Taylor said he didnt know.

Again like Atari VCS*, the showrunners don't know, and don't care. This is the kind of racket that "Atari" currently resembles.

 

The author of that Bloomberg review compares the Karma to Florence Foster Jenkins, the socialite who bought herself into a famously bad singing gig. David Bowie said it was one of his favorite records. "She had and was blissfully unaware of, the worst set of pipes in the world of music Be afraid, be very afraid. This is the feeling I get whenever "Atari" posts an update about this thing; it's so hilariously bad, I love it.

 

https://youtu.be/qtf2Q4yyuJ0

 

*the shitty one, not the real Atari 2600.

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I conjecture that at the last month before this thing should be released mass Panic will ensue that they still have nothing to show, and instead of coming clean they will give China a call and ask them to stuff some sort of Atari version of a NOAC (Nintendo on a chip) jam it into the corner of the VCS case and ship it out and take off before anyone knows what hit them. This will probably be the most valuable collector item created, simply because of the infamy!

thing will not even be HDMI, just one composite video connection, people will be looking at it befuddled, holding the cable going WTF?

Edited by OCAT
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^^^

 

I think it is just as offensive as that KFC Double Down Chicken burger that replaces bread with fried chicken

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Down_(sandwich)

 

Might as well have one on those Dr. Oekter Chocolate pizzas after...

 

or better yet, use the chocolate pizza to make the Philly Taco, take the absurb up a notch!

then wash it down with some grape drink, dont need no vitamins...

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I had a run-in with two brands this weekend, and was of course reminded of everyone's favorite empty box, the Atari VCS* ...

 

Remember Keds?

 

attachicon.gifwolve375570_375485_jb.jpg

 

GenX people on this board would remember the dorky canvas sneakers with a little blue rubber license plate on the heels. When we were kids, they were, along with Converse All-Stars, the cheap, old-fashioned, no-frills option you'd buy if you didn't have much money and didn't care about style. They were everywhere, but they were far from cool.

 

Yesterday, we saw some at the thrift store and thought they'd be a fun, cute throwback for our tween daughter. We were surprised to see them priced at ten bucks a pair, and thought maybe that was a mistake, that they should be just a dollar or two instead. Nope! Turns out they're trendy now, and a new pair of Keds can cost up to eighty dollars.

 

Apparently the Keds mark has been purchased and passed around over the years, and has become a "lifestyle brand." Obviously, "Atari" aspires to be like this.

 

So later on, we saw a crazy car we'd never seen before. It looked like a modern Aston Martin but had an unusual marque, quiet like a Tesla but styled like a Maserati.

 

attachicon.gif1400x-1.jpg

 

It's a Karma. These are exceedingly rare. The style looks like the Aston Martin because it shares the original designer, the founder of the eponymous Fisker Automotive, bought up by Chinese investors at fire sale prices after their bankruptcy. From what I've read about it, the Karma seems inferior to the Tesla in every possible way, but costs a bit more. It sounds like a real piece of crap that doesn't need to exist.

 

Some quotes from Dont Buy a Karma Revero, Buy a Tesla Instead. Or Anything Else. ... (the rest of the review is interesting, too)

Doesn't that sound like something that Rob "Hands Down Trousers" Wyatt would say in one of his fabulous "updates? Or the faint praise from the backers who just want something with the "Atari" name on their shelves, regardless of quality, value, or timeliness of delivery?

Not unlike Atari claiming they're not competing with Microsoft or Sony, but are doing their own thing. Or Tommy wanting something other than his "boring" Playstation, Xbox, or Switch. Something unusual or rare, built on loyalty to the brand more than anything else.

 

What does it do well? Nothing much ...Or Michael "Empty Box" Arzt, who can't articulate a good reason to buy the Atari VCS* other than an easy way for Mom to find Netflix.

 

Why does it even exist? They're not selling very many. Is it for money laundering, somebody's ego trip, or what?Again like Atari VCS*, the showrunners don't know, and don't care. This is the kind of racket that "Atari" currently resembles.

 

The author of that Bloomberg review compares the Karma to Florence Foster Jenkins, the socialite who bought herself into a famously bad singing gig. David Bowie said it was on of his favorite records. "She had and was blissfully unaware of, the worst set of pipes in the world of music Be afraid, be very afraid. This is the feeling I get whenever "Atari" posts an update about this thing; it's so hilariously bad, I love it.

 

 

*the shitty one, not the real Atari 2600.

 

If you're thinking you've seen a Fisker Karma before (but can't quite place it), you may remember the show Two and a Half Men...After they killed off Charlie Sheen; They brought in Ashton Kutcher's character who was supposed to be a Billionaire or close to it...He drove a Fisker. They showed it in the garage sometimes.

 

 

calb416fiskerkarma1_png.png

 

ashton-kutcher-drive-1.jpg

 

 

Of course the difference I see is that someday, once they're sorted, Karma Reveros will be Badass...Nutari "VCS"es will not...Ever.

 

 

Also they are working behind the scenes to fix and improve the Revero...

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Also they are working behind the scenes to fix and improve the Revero...

Yah, sure, you betcha. I think I'll steer clear all the same. :ponder:

 

What's the bigger scam? The Revero, with like 100 orders but at $130,000 each ($13 million total), or AtariBox, with 11,500 pigeons but only at an average of $260 each ($3 million total)?

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There are bunches of 2012 Karmas to be had for under $40K. What a bargain.

I'd rather have the Revero :-D

And the associated insurance costs, maintenance hassles, and a range of just 50 miles? I'd rather have the AtariBox in my basement with all the other useless game paraphernalia. It wouldn't even take up any space for the foreseeable future.

 

Back on topic:

post-2410-0-49546700-1553515767_thumb.png

 

Phelan made 3 videos about Update 11 across two accounts. Here's the one that has "delayed" in the title. I wonder how many of the 11,519 backers tell themselves similar stories?

 

 

And back to the Fiskar Karma ... "this is like something that was put together in someone's garage"

 

 

followed by a tongue-in-cheek rebuttal by the owner.

 

 

And back on taco-pic topic,

giphy.gif

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Yah, sure, you betcha. I think I'll steer clear all the same. :ponder:

 

What's the bigger scam? The Revero, with like 100 orders but at $130,000 each ($13 million total), or AtariBox, with 11,500 pigeons but only at an average of $260 each ($3 million total)?

I'm reminded of the end of Tucker: A Man & His Dream, where Mr. Tucker pointed out that he did not scam anyone, since he actually managed to make a working car, twenty or so of them in fact.

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I want to see more staged pictures of the work bench from Atari with the printed plastic controller shells. I'd say the same about the box, but we all know it doesn't exist.

 

It's always a hoot to see what lame brains think makes for good props on a highfalutin' electronics assembly bench in 2019. I think I saw a sonic screwdriver and a laser pointer on that last set.

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Apple announced their upcoming Apple Arcade service today (available this Fall). Basically, it looks like some sort of subscription service for highlighting app store games.

 

Apple stated that so far, over 1 billion people have downloaded games from their app store. Regardless of anything else Apple does (or doesn't do), their market share for casual gaming is impressive.

 

Gee... I wonder who some of their partners are? I bet there are a lot of game development companies who think of themselves as relevant and innovative, that would love to partner with Apple to get some of their IPs in the spotlight. You know... spending their time and resources developing compelling games that people actually wanted to play on devices they already owned.

 

post-2641-0-35566200-1553556278_thumb.jpg

 

Huh. No Atari.

 

Oh right... they're not actually a game developer anymore.

 

Gee. That's too bad. This would have been a nice thing for them.

 

If they still knew how to make games.

 

Well, I'm sure the Ataribox will do just fine. It'll have Netflix.

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