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New Atari Console that Ataribox?

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8 hours ago, MrBeefy said:

Wow Atari is hitting the gaming world today. They must be feeling the pressure. See their newest announcement!

 

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Today is an exciting day in gaming! Atari VCS has a special edition preorder for their new Ataribox Architech Edition! This special edition will be limited to 1010 copies!

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This is a great opportunity for our loyal fans to get in on this great deal! The bottom half of the Architect Edition is made of a special wood finish giving it the perfect heat distribution!

 

Hear at Atari we know that many are concerned with what is in our Ataribox shells. In our continued efforts of transparency you do not have to be concerned anymore! As you can see our shells are empty but ready for you to create your own. The possibilities are endless now that you have the tools to fill our shells!

 

Speaking of shells, you may notice that our Architect Edition has special colors! For those who do not want the boring white corn shells should be excited! You will get the special edition Atomic Blue, and Ferrari Red shells at a price you won't beat if you don't get this edition.

 

But wait there's more! The Architect Edition will come with a special taco seasoning packet guaranteed to season at least 50 tacos! In addition to the awesome gift of seasoning is the posters we will be including. We have the famous Wyatt hands in the pants poster guaranteed to warm up you little work shed. The second poster is a special lenticular picture of Wyatt's famous sky diving landing. With this poster you will be able to relive his graceful landing over and over again!

 

So you can only get this special limited edition by preordering for the small preorder fee of Mex$1876! As a thank you to our loyal fans who get the Architect Edition they will receive their Ataribox earlier than everyone else on May 5th!

 

Don't forget this special Architect Edition is only limited to 1010 units. I think you will agree with is that much like Wyatt and his landings we have totally NAILED IT with this one!

 

The Bomb-diggitiest,

Atari

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I know you were just fucking around here, but sadly that was actually better-written and easier to comprehend than some of the actual updates Atari puts out on medium.com. LOL. Most of the time when they post an update, the first and only thing I jump straight to is any new pictures/videos they put up.

 

Also, this guy below is classic. Some people on the IGG Comments section should really hang out with us here:

 

 

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Edited by Lodmot
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6 hours ago, Shawn said:

 

If you told me you could get someone a well paid job programming an exclusive title for the system nobody is gonna get behind? Sure, as long as they get paid well enough up front cause Atari are a bunch of crooks. Also, if the title was worth a damn I'm pretty sure you would have taken the job yourself instead of advertising it on AA for the masses to take a stab at. I'm sure that kid with the Sonic avatar will be contacting you ASAP though cause as much shit as he talks about the TacoBox, he is a backer and clearly shows he wants in on that Atari with a game of his own very badly.

 

To me it doesn't matter, if you get paid.  I could write a homebrew and sell maybe 200 copies (which actually requires investment, to release it on cart), the same homebrew exclusive to the VCS can sell 10,000.  Do the math. ;)  Simple as that.

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Is it possible to buy shares of Atari stock in the U.S.? I don't expect them to ever be worth anything, but with a share price consistently less than a dollar, it might be fun... ...as a novelty... ...for entertainment purposes only...  Apologies if this question has already been answered; I tried a search here and through Google and didn't find anything.

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17 minutes ago, CPUWIZ said:

 

To me it doesn't matter, if you get paid.  I could write a homebrew and sell maybe 200 copies (which actually requires investment, to release it on cart), the same homebrew exclusive to the VCS can sell 10,000.  Do the math. ;)  Simple as that.

 

That will no happen. Also, if the game was that good it could go on Steam or any of the big 3 and sell 100k copies if it was able to sell 10k on the TacoBox. That is the same as those poor fools who had Ouya exclusives. 

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OK, I have a little more info now. They are looking for an actual 2600 title which does make sense for any programmer to get on board with for exposure and potential sales. It's not a unity or linux game they are after but a real 2600 title. Have at it kids, If you can stomache getting in bed with Atari this is a pretty good opportunity. It's all friction in the end and love is just a light switch away.

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18 minutes ago, Shawn said:

They are looking for an actual 2600 title which does make sense for any programmer to get on board with for exposure and potential sales.

 

Yes, sell 250 or 10 thousand (or more), 10K is just a guess.  I will have more info and contact info soon.

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2 hours ago, CPUWIZ said:

Yes, sell 250 or 10 thousand (or more), 10K is just a guess.  I will have more info and contact info soon.

Ouya's Kickstarter campaign sold 6X as many consoles as the Atari VCS, and their most prominently featured game sold 2000 copies at $15.  And Ouya wasn't an open platform where you could just install Windows or Retropie to play whatever you want.  Probably many people won't even use the AtariVCS store, which I'm sure will quickly be shut down when game sales demonstrate that it's not worth keeping online.  It's not worth my time, and I don't want to associate myself with that terrible company.

 

I've sold way more Atari 2600 Synthcarts on Atariage for $25 than I ever would on the AtariVCS platform for $1.  And neither of my releases would be playable on the AtariVCS anyway with their controllers.

 

Edited by Paul Slocum
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Call me sceptical but if Atari are asking for a homebrew 2600 game and promising 10k units sold, they're either full of crap (from eating too many tacos) or there's some Epic Games-style nonsense going on (in Epic's case, they have that sweet, sweet unlimited Chinese money from Tencent). 

 

Either way, I'd personally stay far away from working with Atari after the horror stories we've heard from others, to say nothing of the VCS itself. 

 

Plus as has been said already, you could just make a game for PC and sell it on multiple platforms. Heck, things like Unity (for better or worse) make it relatively simple to get your game onto all the consoles these days, so there's that opportunity too. 

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Eh I think it would be cool for a homebrewer to do. I know they make next to nothing from cart sales so what would it hurt?

 

If someone decides this and its currently offered at AA let me know so I can snag a cart before removed.

 

;)

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13 hours ago, CPUWIZ said:

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And I am not kidding, this time.  ;)

 

Actually, we were approached by Atari in May last year if we would be interested in doing an exclusive game with one of their IPs. After some back and forth we told them the two IPs we would be interested in and offered a pitch but in the end Atari went radio silence and we lost interest…

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So, I’ve been busy at work and haven’t paid attention to this tire fire, but Atari wants to open hotels now? Seriously? I’m getting Nickelodeon hotel in Orlando vibes here. This will fail, and it will fail miserably. 

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29 minutes ago, Phantom_of_Krankor said:

So, I’ve been busy at work and haven’t paid attention to this tire fire, but Atari wants to open hotels now? Seriously? I’m getting Nickelodeon hotel in Orlando vibes here. This will fail, and it will fail miserably. 

Well, it'll be the hotel that fails, not Atari.  The only thing they'll lose is credibility, and I think we all know that well is dry anyway...

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39 minutes ago, godslabrat said:

Well, it'll be the hotel that fails, not Atari.  The only thing they'll lose is credibility, and I think we all know that well is dry anyway...

In all honesty, is there a market for an Atari themed hotel?  If it was Nintendo, absolutely.  Most gamers today weren't even alive the last time Atari was truly relevant.  

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1 hour ago, Marc Oberhäuser said:

 

Actually, we were approached by Atari in May last year if we would be interested in doing an exclusive game with one of their IPs. After some back and forth we told them the two IPs we would be interested in and offered a pitch but in the end Atari went radio silence and we lost interest…

 

Something tells me it will be the same this time as well.

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5 minutes ago, Agillig said:

In all honesty, is there a market for an Atari themed hotel?  If it was Nintendo, absolutely.  Most gamers today weren't even alive the last time Atari was truly relevant.  

No, there isn't.  But Atari long ago stopped caring of there was a market for their brand, they just cash license checks.

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2 hours ago, TankedThomas said:

 if Atari are asking for a homebrew 2600 game and promising 10k units sold

 

Atari isn't saying that number, CPU is pulling that potential sales number out of his ass.

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23 minutes ago, godslabrat said:

No, there isn't.  But Atari long ago stopped caring of there was a market for their brand, they just cash license checks.

But what kind of morons would pay money for that license?  If the whole hotel was video game themed, and you had different floors dedicated to different themes, an Atari/general retro area would be kinda cool.  But the whole hotel?  Not a chance 

Edited by Agillig
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50 minutes ago, Agillig said:

But what kind of morons would pay money for that license?  If the whole hotel was video game themed, and you had different floors dedicated to different themes, an Atari/general retro area would be kinda cool.  But the whole hotel?  Not a chance 

I can only assume the license was cheap and the hotel chain was completely stupid.  
 

I could see this working as a two-day-only publicity stunt, like the Taco Bell Hotel,  but as a sustainable business it's a terrible plan.

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I hate the phrasing in the press, "Atari does into the Hotel Business".

 

No... Someone in the hotel business paid for a name and logo.

Edited by The Historian
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I can see it now. 🤔  Hotel completely made of glass, so you can see what's inside.  All the rooms lined in chipboard, except for the John Phelan Executive Suite, which is lined in bubble wrap.  A stage and 6 seat auditorium, with Fat Elvis as the headliner.   Also cater's for Fred's non-announcements.   A French restaurant, serving their famous Pigeons à la Crapaudine and really bad Taco's.  Really bad!.  They also serve their in house homemade Lemonade and original Kool-Aid.  On Wednesday's all drinks are half full-price, however you must wear funny green glasses and compete in complicated drinking games.  It's own medical facility, in case anyone tries to skydive off the top of the building ...... or they have one of the Taco's.  A cheap Chinese Massage Center, which also has a Spa and Footbaths. 😇  A clothing store that sells nothing but pants and converse shoes.  And a gaming store, that contains no games.  Did I tell you their Taco's are really bad?

 

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