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New Atari Console that Ataribox?

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It's pretty sad that people are still believing in and defending Atari at this point... I guess when in doubt, just call people evil hater taco trolls. 

 

I didn't follow the Spectrum Next project (though I'm hoping to get in on the next batch), but from my understanding, they were upfront with backers, were a small but passionate and dedicated team, and even managed to deliver original games for the system (with more in the works).

 

And yet a (relatively) big company like Atari only has a prototype or two with which they're still stringing people along whilst showing no real progress for three yesrs, and now they're trying to con even MORE naÏve people into buying their overpriced, underpowered and guaranteed-to-cook-Itself PC. 

 

Keep in mind that the press release posted here yesterday discusses three other upcoming mobile games. So now that's four (or is it five?) upcoming mobile games from Atari (all of which sound terrible) and yet STILL not a single new game announced for the VCS.

Edited by TankedThomas
Edited for (relative) brevity
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6 hours ago, TankedThomas said:

I guess when in doubt, just call people evil hater taco trolls. 

Evil Hater Taco Trolls™ sounds like one of those Milton Bradley board games from the 70's. Just needs the Pop-O-Matic™ dice.

 

(Kids shouting) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls! Evil Hater Taco Trolls!"

(Narrator) "Those Evil Hater Taco Trolls are back! Can you stop 'em? Move your player around the board using the Pop-O-Matic dice! Land on the right square, and you can send those Evil Hater Taco Trolls back under the rock they crawled out from!"

(Kid) "Take that Evil Hater Taco Troll!!" (Kid slams plastic "AtariAge" rock over the Evil Hater Taco Troll in the center of the board)

(Narrator) "But don't land on William Shatner!"

(Kid lands on picture of William Shatner wearing a Mariachi outfit, "Jarabe Tapatio" starts playing from a tiny little speaker)

(Kid) "Oh no! Now I have to eat a taco!"

(Other kids, laughing) "Oh no! Es muy mal!"

(Kid, grimacing, picks up a fake plastic taco, and shoves it into the face of his player piece - a tiny, plastic Michael Arzt)

(Kid) "Nom, nom, nom!"

(Narrator) "Choose from all of your favorite AtariLand characters! Arzty-Farzty! Cheesy-Chezzy! Frugal-Feargal! And Hands-Down-The-Back-Of-His-Pants-Wyatt!"
(Kid, moving piece, landing on a square, cringes) "Oh no! Mike Kennedy!! Now I have to start all over again!"

(Kids shouting) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls! Evil Hater Taco Trolls!"

(Narrator) "That's Evil Hater Taco Trolls!! Coming soon from Atari!" 

(Narrator, in fast, lower voice) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls requires some assembly. Evil Hater Taco Trolls will not work with the AtariVCS, but you can stream it for $5 and play it on a Raspberry Pi. Netflix not included."

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30 minutes ago, TACODON said:

Is John P a playable character?

I think he's a character who was played. I don't think that's what you mean though.

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i was thinking about this bit from Office Space this morning:

 

Bob Slydell : What you do at Initech is you take the specifications from the customer and bring them down to the software engineers?

Tom Smykowski : Yes, yes that's right.

Bob Porter : Well then I just have to ask why can't the customers take them directly to the software people?

Tom Smykowski : Well, I'll tell you why, because, engineers are not good at dealing with customers.

Bob Slydell : So you physically take the specs from the customer?

Tom Smykowski : Well... No. My secretary does that, or they're faxed.

Bob Porter : So then you must physically bring them to the software people?

Tom Smykowski : Well. No. Ah sometimes.

Bob Slydell : What would you say you do here?

Tom Smykowski : Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

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image.thumb.png.55c3bb22f97165a2103de312697eaba0.png

Something about F1JV's IGG post seems eerily familiar- almost like there was a YouTube channel that had Gaming Videos with similar type language.   🤔

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21 hours ago, Tavi said:

You would think they would be a lot more concerned with how they are going to fulfill their existing and very overdue obligations rather then trying to eke out a few more sales for a product that they already cannot deliver.

 

Is this an actual source of revenue (i.e. are people pre-paying for the units), or is it just a way to express interest in maybe, someday buying a system? The wording is unclear. 

 

It seems to be the consensus around here that Atari is desperate for cash, so perhaps this is a way for them to fund the production of units for backers -- almost like a pyramid scheme where the new investors' money is used to repay those who got involved earlier.  

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19 hours ago, Nathan Strum said:

Evil Hater Taco Trolls™ sounds like one of those Milton Bradley board games from the 70's. Just needs the Pop-O-Matic™ dice.

 

(Kids shouting) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls! Evil Hater Taco Trolls!"

(Narrator) "Those Evil Hater Taco Trolls are back! Can you stop 'em? Move your player around the board using the Pop-O-Matic dice! Land on the right square, and you can send those Evil Hater Taco Trolls back under the rock they crawled out from!"

(Kid) "Take that Evil Hater Taco Troll!!" (Kid slams plastic "AtariAge" rock over the Evil Hater Taco Troll in the center of the board)

(Narrator) "But don't land on William Shatner!"

(Kid lands on picture of William Shatner wearing a Mariachi outfit, "Jarabe Tapatio" starts playing from a tiny little speaker)

(Kid) "Oh no! Now I have to eat a taco!"

(Other kids, laughing) "Oh no! Es muy mal!"

(Kid, grimacing, picks up a fake plastic taco, and shoves it into the face of his player piece - a tiny, plastic Michael Arzt)

(Kid) "Nom, nom, nom!"

(Narrator) "Choose from all of your favorite AtariLand characters! Arzty-Farzty! Cheesy-Chezzy! Frugal-Feargal! And Hands-Down-The-Back-Of-His-Pants-Wyatt!"
(Kid, moving piece, landing on a square, cringes) "Oh no! Mike Kennedy!! Now I have to start all over again!"

(Kids shouting) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls! Evil Hater Taco Trolls!"

(Narrator) "That's Evil Hater Taco Trolls!! Coming soon from Atari!" 

(Narrator, in fast, lower voice) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls requires some assembly. Evil Hater Taco Trolls will not work with the AtariVCS, but you can stream it for $5 and play it on a Raspberry Pi. Netflix not included."

That's fantastic. Now we have to make this real. 

5 hours ago, digdugnate said:

image.thumb.png.55c3bb22f97165a2103de312697eaba0.png

Something about F1JV's IGG post seems eerily familiar- almost like there was a YouTube channel that had Gaming Videos with similar type language.   🤔

Alternatively, every comments section of VCS videos. 

 

By the way F1JV, I want to be a taco when I grow up, not a buffoon. :_(

28 minutes ago, jhd said:

 

Is this an actual source of revenue (i.e. are people pre-paying for the units), or is it just a way to express interest in maybe, someday buying a system? The wording is unclear. 

 

It seems to be the consensus around here that Atari is desperate for cash, so perhaps this is a way for them to fund the production of units for backers -- almost like a pyramid scheme where the new investors' money is used to repay those who got involved earlier.  

It appears to just be an interest check... which doesn't make much sense considering they've still got pre-orders open on their site as far as I'm aware, plus Walmart and GameStop. 

 

Funny thing about GameStop/EB Games though - you can literally pre-order something that doesn't (yet) exist.

Most of them will happily take your money. 

 

So I guess you should go pre-order your 128-bit Atari Jaguar 2 right now.

 

Seriously though, I don't know how people actually manage to delude themselves this much...

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9 minutes ago, TankedThomas said:

Seriously though, I don't know how people actually manage to delude themselves this much...

 

Are you kidding? There are actually people convinced that much of the negativity comes from people that are worried that Atari is a threat to their beloved Big Three.

 

You can't make this stuff up.

 

Screenshot_20200312-114831.thumb.png.78a8c64290b22cac317d7327d2cfa780.png

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2 hours ago, jhd said:

It seems to be the consensus around here that Atari is desperate for cash, so perhaps this is a way for them to fund the production of units for backers -- almost like a pyramid scheme where the new investors' money is used to repay those who got involved earlier.  

This, except it's called a Ponzi scheme.  

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2 hours ago, racerx said:

 

Are you kidding? There are actually people convinced that much of the negativity comes from people that are worried that Atari is a threat to their beloved Big Three.

 

You can't make this stuff up.

 

Screenshot_20200312-114831.thumb.png.78a8c64290b22cac317d7327d2cfa780.png

What do you even say to this?  If the VCS was better than the game systems I already own, I would buy it.  When the Genesis/Mega Drive started to threaten Nintendo's world domination, you saw third party companies start to drift toward it.  If the VCS had a chance in hell of making a splash, you'd see companies announce products for it.  I'm sure the Big Three are really concerned about a system that sold 11,000 units, and doesn't have a single exclusive title.  

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Well, he's doubled down. Apparently Nintendo knows Atari's their daddy, and Microsoft and Sony are scared because Nintendo's scared.

 

Seriously...why do so many backers seem to be mentally challenged and/or certifiably insane?

 

 

Screenshot_20200312-174300.png

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30 minutes ago, Osgeld said:

is nintendo even in the same market segment at this point

Well, Nintendo actually has a product on the market, so that alone separates them.  I think the people who have low expectations about this system- such as having an Atari themed box they can use to play emulators on their tv, those people have a chance at being happy with their purchase. 

 

But the idea that anyone feels threatened by Atari is pretty ridiculous.   With Sony getting arrogant (again), and Microsoft failing to understand what makes a successful console, I think the market is ripe for a new challenger.   But Atari has no chance of filling that void.

Edited by Agillig
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On 3/12/2020 at 4:18 AM, OldSchoolRetroGamer said:

I don't know, I see THIS in my INBOX just now and I cannot help but think the AtariVCS "TEAM" has some balls on them to still be sending these out. 🤔😆😆😆

 

Capture.thumb.PNG.23cde8d02b544aa2a633ae6d0383e0d8.PNG

 

 

 

chirping.gif.74b0781174236988fc6b2ff35c943058.gifsleeping.gif.b86ef0e25e966d6f82fe3e182938b652.gif

 

12 hours ago, digdugnate said:

image.thumb.png.55c3bb22f97165a2103de312697eaba0.png

Something about F1JV's IGG post seems eerily familiar- almost like there was a YouTube channel that had Gaming Videos with similar type language.   🤔

 

Leave him malone.  😉

 

7 hours ago, racerx said:

 

Are you kidding? There are actually people convinced that much of the negativity comes from people that are worried that Atari is a threat to their beloved Big Three.

 

You can't make this stuff up.

 

Screenshot_20200312-114831.thumb.png.78a8c64290b22cac317d7327d2cfa780.png

 

"Mainly because it's a major financial move in the market.  Nobody understands that better than ATARI." 

 

ifonlyhadabrain.gif.38541d6931541f92cbf453dd16f60950.gifatarisastock.thumb.JPG.dff030f8bdffbf486f361159e511ef3c.JPG

 

 

meanwhile.gif.4cbfa09b60377f64bc31d9677b9fa0e0.gif 

 

Over at IpiGeonG ......

 

sos.gif.26b802952694f3b247c8815494e161dd.gif

 

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, Osgeld said:

is nintendo even in the same market segment at this point

Nope. They have complete market dominance of the handheld console market. They're not even in the same market as Sony or Microsoft.

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The good news for Atari is that they're indeed virtually alone in the market of retro-shaped low-cost PCs with no exclusive games.

The bad news is that there's a good reason for that.

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16 hours ago, Special Teams said:
19 hours ago, jhd said:

It seems to be the consensus around here that Atari is desperate for cash, so perhaps this is a way for them to fund the production of units for backers -- almost like a pyramid scheme where the new investors' money is used to repay those who got involved earlier.  

This, except it's called a Ponzi scheme.  

Beat me to it. To further explain, since I take interested in multi-level marketing or social marketing companies and their dubiously legal practices, just an oversimplified explanation between Pyramids and Ponzis:

 

Pyramid schemes are about getting five people to work under you, requiring them to collect from five people under them, who will need to collect from five people under them, and so on. Think Amway, especially before the early 2000's when they were forced to change their sales model.

 

Ponzi Schemes is all about convincing marks to invest in your scheme with promises of a larger payout (usually a solid multiple of the requested money like five or ten times said amount), and needing to promise the same thing to more people over time, showing the first mark that you can indeed pay out that amount but can keep going if you want them to (to keep the scam going and not being forced to give the money back). Think Enron.

18 hours ago, TankedThomas said:

Funny thing about GameStop/EB Games though - you can literally pre-order something that doesn't (yet) exist.

Most of them will happily take your money. 

 

So I guess you should go pre-order your 128-bit Atari Jaguar 2 right now.

 

Seriously though, I don't know how people actually manage to delude themselves this much...

I imagine that if the item gets cancelled, pushed back enough, or you simply request for money back at any time before they get it in stock, you can just get a refund. Otherwise, yeah, they'll be happy to take money for preorders on items featured on their site, even if they don't exist yet. If you aren't transparently a scammer, retailers like GameStop/EB Games, Wal-Mart and others won't pay much mind if you fill out the paperwork and simply promise the item will be out at sometime before the end times (likely within a more reasonable time frame than that, but they seem to openly allow for delays if recent events have shown). But with that said...

15 hours ago, racerx said:

Well, he's doubled down. Apparently Nintendo knows Atari's their daddy, and Microsoft and Sony are scared because Nintendo's scared.

 

Seriously...why do so many backers seem to be mentally challenged and/or certifiably insane?

 

 

Screenshot_20200312-174300.png

Google with Stadia has done nothing to rock Nintendo, Sony or Microsoft or lend them doubt to their market share. This is after Google had allocated server farm space, pour in multiple millions of half-hearted R&D, and licensing a couple dozen AAA games. Yes, they unarguably ate dookie after launch, but their reveal and previews didn't phase the big three. Atari literally doesn't have the clout or resources to reach that, even if they were willing to pay their hardware designers.

 

Disregarding the baseless core argument that Atari has shaken even one of the big three, Nintendo doesn't have any financial, creditable or reputable reason to respect Atari. Atari's failure in the market, dragging down of the entire market, and the reasons that lead to that ultimate failure, was turned into a teaching lesson for Nintendo and Sega. Nintendo even zagged where Atari zigged, having the NES's launch, presentation and licensing scheme be completely antithetical to Atari's practices or lack thereof. Nintendo has also existed for almost 130 years, and learned to adapt several times over during that period. Atari is only their "father", or as I assume he meant "predecessor", in the sense of being in the video game market first. That's it.

 

Atari hasn't given them any reason to care about their questionable attempt to break back into the hardware market outside of a passing glance; honestly, Atari doesn't even seem to be taking that too seriously themselves, but that's another conversation altogether.

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With all the local stores with barren shelves in the strategic sections ie: cleaning supplies, pharmacy goods, canned foods stuffs and frozen veggies, I would like to remind people to stock up on Taco kits. No need to head to your local Taco fast food joint and risk the plague. In times like these I can understand that it is hard to choose to risk going out for tacos. This way you can make your own in quarantine! I am sure this thread has a few dozen taco recipies by now.

Hmm Atari VCS
V= Virus
C=Covid
S= the 19th letter of the alphabet!

I am in no way drawing any conclusions. But just incase anyone gets it from taking delivery of the "console" I called it first! (Allegedly)

Edited by OCAT
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On 3/11/2020 at 8:42 PM, Nathan Strum said:

Evil Hater Taco Trolls™ sounds like one of those Milton Bradley board games from the 70's. Just needs the Pop-O-Matic™ dice.

 

(Kids shouting) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls! Evil Hater Taco Trolls!"

(Narrator) "Those Evil Hater Taco Trolls are back! Can you stop 'em? Move your player around the board using the Pop-O-Matic dice! Land on the right square, and you can send those Evil Hater Taco Trolls back under the rock they crawled out from!"

(Kid) "Take that Evil Hater Taco Troll!!" (Kid slams plastic "AtariAge" rock over the Evil Hater Taco Troll in the center of the board)

(Narrator) "But don't land on William Shatner!"

(Kid lands on picture of William Shatner wearing a Mariachi outfit, "Jarabe Tapatio" starts playing from a tiny little speaker)

(Kid) "Oh no! Now I have to eat a taco!"

(Other kids, laughing) "Oh no! Es muy mal!"

(Kid, grimacing, picks up a fake plastic taco, and shoves it into the face of his player piece - a tiny, plastic Michael Arzt)

(Kid) "Nom, nom, nom!"

(Narrator) "Choose from all of your favorite AtariLand characters! Arzty-Farzty! Cheesy-Chezzy! Frugal-Feargal! And Hands-Down-The-Back-Of-His-Pants-Wyatt!"
(Kid, moving piece, landing on a square, cringes) "Oh no! Mike Kennedy!! Now I have to start all over again!"

(Kids shouting) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls! Evil Hater Taco Trolls!"

(Narrator) "That's Evil Hater Taco Trolls!! Coming soon from Atari!" 

(Narrator, in fast, lower voice) "Evil Hater Taco Trolls requires some assembly. Evil Hater Taco Trolls will not work with the AtariVCS, but you can stream it for $5 and play it on a Raspberry Pi. Netflix not included."

Image result for Shut up and take my money

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19 hours ago, racerx said:

Nintendo had net sales of nearly $11 billion last year, and as of last July was sitting on reserves of nearly $8 billion of sweet, liquid cash.

 

"Atari" isn't even a fart in the wind to an actual gaming company.

 

Nintendo is apparently the second most cash-rich company in Japan

 

216622.thumb.png.923a7aa70e6052e9f813354b8614fffd.png

This x1000. 

 

Every time a discussion about NINTENDO IS DOOOOMED comes up, you know that the person proclaiming said doom is as clueless as a pigeon on a VCS Fan FB page. The WiiU could have sold zero units and the company still would have been solvent. Like them or hate them, they know what they are doing and they are in absolutely no danger of collapsing in the foreseeable future. Atari is such a non-entity in the modern business space that they would probably be surprised to hear that they are still around and are sort of involved in games. Like most of the populace, they probably think they are nothing more than an apparel company. 

 

And when Nintendo launches the Switch Pro, Microsoft the Xbox Series X, and Sony the PS5, each on of those companies will easily sell 100x Atari's VCS backer amount on launch day, if not 200-300 times more. The notion that anyone in these companies is "scared" of the Atari VCS isn't even laughable, it's bizarre on the level of the belief that stocking up on toilet paper is going to do something about a virus. 

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