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New Atari Console that Ataribox?

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3 LONG YEARS... the recap mark 2020

___________________________________________

A long, long time ago... On a website far, far away...

Atari - Guess what, we're gonna make a console...

Internet - Yea... Right...

Atari - Don't doubt us, we're really gonna do it...

Internet - Tell us another tall tale...

Atari - All you got to do is... GIVE US YOUR MONEY !

Internet - We knew there was a catch to this...

Atari - We'll call it "Ataribox"

Internet - What a stupid name, people will get it mixed up with the Xbox...

Atari - Okay we changed our minds, we'll call it the Atari VCS...

Internet - Great, now folks will get it mixed up with the 2600 as it is also known as the VCS...

Atari - We're going with Indiegogo...

Indiegogo - You don't have to have a working anything to use our services, come right in Atari...

Atari - Not to worry Internet we'll keep you up to date on what we're doing...

~ Time Passes ~

Internet - This has to be a scam, there hasn't been any updates for months...

VCS fans - You all are just haters, give them time...

~ More Time Passes ~

Atari - We're making an announcement that there will be an announcement soon (tm)

VCS fans - see we told you so...

~ Yet even more time passes ~

Atari - We promise we'll have something to show soon (tm)

~ Sometime later ~

[ Insert video of someone playing Tempest 4000 here ]

VCS fans - ooooooooo, aaaaahhhhh, woooooow

Tempest 4000 programmers - That video is a fake as no one here is working on a port for the Atari VCS...  

VCS fans - ....

Atari - Uhm... Look... it says demo only right there on the video...

~ Things go quiet for awhile ~

Atari - We'll have something to show this 'Summer'

~ Summer Passes ~

Internet  - Well ?

~ Fall Starts ~

Atari - We got something to show now...

[ Shows off 'the board' ]

VCS fans - see you were worried over nothing...

Internet - That's nice, where is the RAM ?

[ News leaks about the main guy working on the innards gets out ]

Internet - Oh this just keeps getting better...

Atari - Watch this...

[ Video / Gif of the logo going on & off on the Unit ]

VCS fans - see it works...

Me - a $400.00 light switch, I'm not impressed...

~ Time Marches On ~

> ENTER THE WOZ ! <

Internet - Oh this ought to be good...

[ Lots of photos uploaded but no video of the actual event ]

Internet - This seems to be a non-event as there's not much news attached to this, gee that don't seem weird to you does it ?

Me - Oh look at all that nice white space over WOZ & Fred, time for MEMEs

~ Several Memes Later ~

Atari - Another Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About Something Or Other

Internet - This is getting redonkulous...

Me - Loading... Still Loading... Still Still Loading... Etc... Etc... Ect...

Atari - We're delaying it AGAIN...

Internet - Why are we not shocked by this...

Atari - Truth is we never wanted to make a console...

Internet - Oh ?

Atari - We want to be... A Lumberjack...

~ MORE MEMES LATER STILL ~ 

NASA - Look we're back in space !

Internet - oooooooooooooooooooo

USA - Time to protest like it's the late 1960's

Me - Wait a second, what year is this again ?

SONY - LOOK AT THIS - reveals the brand spankin' new PS5 

Internet -ooooooooooooooooooooo

Atari - Another Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About Something Or Other

Internet - Lets take a wild guess, another delay...

Atari - How'd you guys know ?

Internet - Because your that predicable after 3 years of this

Me - The light still goes on & off eh ?

________________________________________________

Happy 3rd Birthday To The Taco Thread !

 

Edited by Woulfe
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^^ Atari building 500 units and not 1 lucky backer will receive a unit. This speaks volumes about Atari. CheeseGuy only care about numero UNO.
Why not build 501 units?

I am sure the factory has the parts. Yo don't order parts to build exactly 500 units, things go wrong. SMT machines waste components, zinged components, ESD, unbaked IC packages go bad... They dont want these things in the wild because it is... No Good.

I truly wanted the backers to Actually get something because I know what it feels like to get RIPPED OFF, it is not a nice feeling. I expected the backers to get a piece of crap, but at least it would be something they can put into a collection and be happy looking at from time to time.
When they got the system I was going to mock them that it is a piece of junk, but this is what they wanted so it would not be mean spirited, but now if they do not get anything I will not make fun of them at all. They wil be fraud victims.

Just listen to Atari, the last 2 things they said was," 500 units, none are for you." "We might release this console this year, no promises."

(Allegedly)

Edited by OCAT
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I was thinking of adding the whole 500 units thing but my recap is getting a bit long isn't it ?

 

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^ No, please go on.

Let me add that this was a crowdfunded project. Meaning that the amount of money they asked for was suppose to be able to cover mistakes or unforseen changes. Now I can understand that it might cost more, but producing 500 and 12,000 units is a far gap.

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And don't forget, they sold their backers T-Shirts at a Premium!   Perhaps to prove they could ship *something* (I wonder if they got those in a lawsuit that someone was unable to pay?)...Such nice guys.

 

@Woulfe  I really liked your recap!

 

If I was to add anything it would be:

 

Generic FOX Business man:  Will it play PONG?

 

Fred of Nutari fame: ?

 

Fred runs home,   looks up PONG.

 

Has idea for a Tweet.   What's your high score in PONG?,  A game I totally remember from my Atari 6200 days...

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Fox Business would bring in Fred anytime they had an off day:

 

"So, Fred, can you play Sonic on this thing?"

 

"Personnellement, je n'aime pas Sonic. Regardez ce qu'ils lui ont fait dans cette bande-annonce."

 

"Wait, what was that, Fred?  You mean you can play Crash Bandicoot on it too?"

 

"Mes cheveux me font mal."

 

"You speak Spanish, Fred?  I didn't know that.  ¿Cómo estás?"

 

"Quand est le prochain vol pour Antares? Je veux descendre."

 

"Well, that's all the time for Fred Chesnais and I have for today.  Next time I'll ask him if he ever had taco salad with the edible bowls.  Are they delicious!"

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2 hours ago, Woulfe said:

3 LONG YEARS... the recap mark 2020

___________________________________________

A long, long time ago... On a website far, far away...

 

[snip]

 

Me - The light still goes on & off eh ?

________________________________________________

Happy 3rd Birthday To The Taco Thread !

 

Pretty good recap, but not enough Feargal.

 

Can't have the Ataribox without Feargal!

 

Can't have one with him either.

 

Can't have one period.

 

Nothing to see here. Move along.

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2 hours ago, frankodragon said:

We also can't forget about hands-in-pants guy either.

I was doing pretty well at forgetting him until you posted that.

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Production




The project team has begun turning their prototype into the final product. Their ability to ship the products may be affected by product development or fanancial challenges.






________________________________________

Ok, im tired but let us decipher this nonsense.
They just stated that the 500 units are going to Devs and Merchants

1- This means that they don't give 2 Tacos about the people that made this possible, the backers. This was NEVER ABOUT YOU GUYS. This was about Atari using YOUR MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$ to fund something that will make them rich. The money (3 million) you gave them was NOT for your unit in any way.

2- Their ability to ship the products may be affected by development or fanancial problems.This meant they still dont have a working unit ironed out if it is in the DEVELOPMENT STAGE. Is this a production run of a working design or a crap shoot just to get something out the door and fix it later with software patches that will never work?

3- Fanancial challenges????? WHaAAAA? This is not good, you have no money left? This basically says "We might not ship anything at all" There is no other way to interperate this. No one would put this in a post for ANY REASON unless they plan to come back to this to say
"see, we said we might not ship this thing" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I allege that the entire indiegogo pitch was just to get money, the entire "a little more heart, a little more thought" video was crafted for this sole purpose.
Just like the Coleco Chameleon Video that Mike was trying to make with the Family and Kids on the JagBar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv9cPXW1HLM
(Explanation)

I have yet to see any indication that this has been given any FCC ID or test to say, Ok they do have something finished and is in process of final production.
This thing has wireless controllers? it needs to pass the test before ANY units are shipped to vendors or merchants. This is not like Apple where they have their own moon campus where they can test things.

(Allegedly) Edited by OCAT

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2 minutes ago, OCAT said:

 


________________________________________

Ok, im tired but let us decipher this nonsense.
They just stated that the 500 units are going to Devs and Merchants

1- This means that they don't give 2 Tacos about the people that made this possible, the backers. This was NEVER ABOUT YOU GUYS. This was about Atari using YOUR MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$ to fund something that will make them rich. The money your gave them was NOT for your unit in any way.

2-

Pretty much, the interest was used as a way to inflate a potential buyout, which didn't happen, so they had to actually produce something. Somewhere along the way, somebody said, "Hey, let's do cryptocoin" so am guessing the VCS pledge money became seed capital for the cryptocoin venture.

 

-Thom

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^ My post got cut off because I used incorrect syntax when I manually add Quotes and other inline additions, I edited the post so there is more after point #1

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For one thing, we're going to see if Atari will give one of the 500 to that John P. guy who has been desperately waiting for his.  If not, then Atari is genuine scum.

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1 hour ago, frankodragon said:

For one thing, we're going to see if Atari will give one of the 500 to that John P. guy who has been desperately waiting for his.  If not, then Atari is genuine scum.

My guess is he will get one...from eBay 🤣

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The Recap - The Side Quest

______________________

Grandpa - Mr. Atari, about the VCS

Atari - You stole our thunder, we had to redesign it, we have to clean the room, you get NOTHING, you loose, Good day sir

Grandpa - But.. But..

Atari - I said, Good day sir

Grandpa - Come on Charlie we'll go get an Amico instead

 

VIP_Bundle_VintageWoodgrain.png?format=1 

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20 hours ago, OCAT said:

3- Fanancial challenges????? WHaAAAA? This is not good, you have no money left?

Fanancial challenges??  Doesn't this mean they have no fans in the thing?  😛  Sorry, just woke up, and have to make a joke, as it was misspelled several times... Financial challenges?   Well, that just means they probably were like 1980s Atari and were bleeding money.  I always wondered how Time Warner was losing so much money every day.  I can only think Hookers and Blow.  Or perhaps they kep buying truckloads of tacos.

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39 minutes ago, leech said:

Fanancial challenges??  Doesn't this mean they have no fans in the thing?  😛

 

No, no, no. Fanatical challenges. They're running out of religious zealots that blindly, rabidly believe in this wreck.

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1 minute ago, racerx said:

 

No, no, no. Fanatical challenges. They're running out of religious zealots that blindly, rabidly believe in this wreck.

Knowing the die hard believers, the AtariBox/VCS will simply ascend to mythological heights and be revered for years to come 😂

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^^HAHA, yes I did make that typo, I did say I was tired! -_- it is a hot 34 (93) where i am now!
I wish I had more FANs right now, just like Atari.
I saw that video and the Atari Creep from Youtube, a die hard fan pointed out that the kid playing the VCS demo had a controller that is wired, but that the wire is looping around the back of the VCS unit before it is connected. This is directly out of the Mike Kennedy playbook minus the electrical tape.

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