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Goochman

New Atari Console that Ataribox?

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Well, I'll back the Joystick at least! It looks sexy as hell and I think if anything they'll at lease be able to deliver that..... right? right?

 

post-52250-0-55533200-1558510035.gif

 

I don't know what's more amazing. Another Atari no update update ... or JP having not posted his usual 7 comments in a row, let alone a single comment!

 

post-52250-0-61079600-1558513040.jpg

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Hey guys. o u o Long time no see. I've been playing Team Sonic racing, enjoying my official Sega-branded controllers by Retro-Bit and salivating over the Genesis Mini game announcements. Oh, and i gots a Sonic toaster. HAH! 8D

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Hey guys. o u o Long time no see. I've been playing Team Sonic racing, enjoying my official Sega-branded controllers by Retro-Bit and salivating over the Genesis Mini game announcements. Oh, and i gots a Sonic toaster. HAH! 8D

so.. what's your opinion, then, on the upcoming Sonic movie? ;)

 

and i guess, what do you think of Notari's latest breathless renders of their joysticks they don't have a console for?

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Anyone want to take a shot at quantifying these vague promises?

 

"almost ready to go into final production"

 

"getting tooling ready and will be firing up for full production this summer"

 

"currently scheduled to start shipping before the end of 2019, with retailer shipments following in early 2020"

 

I predict they'll hit some "unexpected delay" in Q4, like the twisty knob breaking under slight pressure. My guess: the backers should get a package a year from today, no later than May 22, 2020. Or they'll rush it and disappoint. If I'm wrong, I'll certainly consider buying the ergonomic disaster at retail after I read some plausibly good reviews.

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Anyone want to take a shot at quantifying these vague promises?

 

"almost ready to go into final production"

 

"getting tooling ready and will be firing up for full production this summer"

 

"currently scheduled to start shipping before the end of 2019, with retailer shipments following in early 2020"

 

I predict they'll hit some "unexpected delay" in Q4, like the twisty knob breaking under slight pressure. My guess: the backers should get a package a year from today, no later than May 22, 2020. Or they'll rush it and disappoint. If I'm wrong, I'll certainly consider buying the ergonomic disaster at retail after I read some plausibly good reviews.

 

The Atarigogo Thesaurus is going to run out of adverbs soon ... then what will they do? "Almost ready" , "Getting tooling", "Currently scheduled". They'll have to invent new adverbs before they invent the console itself. A simple fix would be to just use the word "Maybe" all the time.

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Anyone want to take a shot at quantifying these vague promises?

 

"almost ready to go into final production"

 

"getting tooling ready and will be firing up for full production this summer"

 

"currently scheduled to start shipping before the end of 2019, with retailer shipments following in early 2020"

 

It's a variation on "Announcing an announcement of a pending announcement announcing a further announcement."

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gaming_2-joys-c.jpg

 

By far the coolest PiZero console build I've seen and it's made out of real wood. :P

 

 

That's freakin awesome.

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Dear lord, when I received the email - which these all arrive in my junk folder appropriately - the joystick was the first thing I noticed. Dear post-144-0-93647500-1558531750.jpg these people are clueless.

Edited by Inky
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On a side note, anyone else get the Razer/OUYA email, announcing close-down of services on 6-25-2019?

 

"OUYA and Razer Forge TV Services Shutdown.

 

Dear, Developer.

 

We would like to inform you that the Forge TV Games Store and OUYA service will cease operations on 6-25-2019.

 

This email serves as notice of termination of the Marketplace Agreement, in accordance with Section 9 of the agreement, with effect on 6-25-2019.

 

Thank you for the support which you have extended us these past years. It has been a privilege to have worked with you and to have had you as part of our community.

 

Best Regards,

The Razer Team"

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So, basically, it has taken Atari one year and three million dollars to add a second fire button to their joystick.

 

1*ERlYlEaYwg0fyFqBEY59Mg.jpeg

 

(Also, just noticed that the image is 666 pixels tall. That must mean something.)

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So, basically, it has taken Atari one year and three million dollars to add a second fire button to their joystick render.

 

 

There, fixed that for ya!

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My Twitter just notified me that AtariVCS just tweeted for the 1st time in months! The unpaid intern must have got a raise!

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Well, I'll back the Joystick at least! It looks sexy as hell and I think if anything they'll at lease be able to deliver that..... right? right?

 

The problem is they changed the shipment of controllers to ship when the system itself ships. Which means, if the system doesn't ship, neither do the controllers I gather. You would think the controllers would have been done, oh... I don't know... a year ago!

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The problem is they changed the shipment of controllers to ship when the system itself ships. Which means, if the system doesn't ship, neither do the controllers I gather. You would think the controllers would have been done, oh... I don't know... a year ago!

But .... the controller was the "one key element on their checklist" that kept them from crowdfunding! So... why did they do an indiegogo if they weren't done with the controller? Damn, it's almost like these guys aren't even good liars...

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I thought Feargal/Wyatt was the "one key element"?

 

It's not like they've been clear or particularly honest about such things.

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With all the "cool kids" moving to entirely digital collections, isn't a digital simulation of a console the next logical step? After amassing sufficiently large collections of digital music, some have reported that they derive more enjoyment out of curating and contemplating their collections than actually listening to them, so why not apply that concept to an entire video game console?

 

KookyFrenchGuyAtari should give up trying to make real hardware. They should just compile a collection of all the 3D renders that they've been showing off ad nauseum, along with lists of the classic game remakes that they would have made if they could have made them, and download them all to digital picture frames. The "true believers" can then prop them up and pretend that they really have "that Ataribox?" in their entertainment centers. They can enjoy watching the much-celebrated console case and the joystick/paddle hybrid controllers spinning endlessly before them, preserved forever in a state of shiny digital perfection, while the nonexistent games flash and dance in their imaginations ... as they sit on their couches, smiling blankly in complacent contemplation.

 

(Of course, the case is thermally impossible, and the controller is an engineering nightmare that would probably fall apart after a few hours of use, but who cares? They don't have to be real. Why bother solving these problems, when in the long run, the simulated version would probably provide the same level of enjoyment?)

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I got a response about a Tweet I posted last week that AtariVCS is a scam. Apparently, another pigeon and he/she doesn't really care about throwing her/her money on renders.

post-18158-0-90804800-1558565551.jpg

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