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Goochman

New Atari Console that Ataribox?

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This whole thing reeks of plebes bringing their tithes to the king in hopes of a blessing.  And the king looking completely disinterested in whatever the asswipes bring in that isn't cash money.

 

Or imagine one of seventeen grandchildren watching Grandpa open the Christmas gift he worked alllll year on.  

 

"What the fuck is this, Freddy?

"It's ze UNconsole, Grandpapa!"

...

...

"Sigh. Okay. Next.  Whose kid are you again?"

Edited by OverMuch
900, bitches!
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5 minutes ago, Flojomojo said:

Why is it orange, anyway? 

That's a good question actually. o w o;;

From what I can tell, all the different variants have that orange back to them, too. Pretty random... Lol.

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2 minutes ago, Clint Thompson said:

Please tell me the images of Fred and Woz together are Photoshopped.

We wish they were, they aren't...

However a video of this might be too...

'Interesting' for the gang over at the VCS fan club house...

 

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You folks are on a roll. 

 

10 minutes ago, Clint Thompson said:

Please tell me the images of Fred and Woz together are Photoshopped.

 

Busted.  It was actually Fred and Stewart Varney.

 

1149583166_AtariFortniteVarney.thumb.jpg.beb3fb94f575e0c2dff55b5a0395bd52.jpg

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3 minutes ago, TankedThomas said:

I genuinely feel bad for Woz. 

He looks kinda bored frankly...

Like, can we just get on with this con ?

When is lunch ?

Who is this bozo ?

What is he even talking about ?

I sure could go for some Tacos...

 

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Hey you stupid haters! You missed what this meeting of the minds did to the stock price. Look!

 

 

Spoiler

Still down. Clearly, more desperate stunts are required. 

 

184406384_swimminginplace.thumb.jpg.89bb30303df0a177ddee0b29134a4eb3.jpg

 

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Yeah, I got nothing against Woz. Here's one without him

 

fred_phil.thumb.png.372f3e1e5730d89d38c691fffdc386fc.png

 

I like how on the stock tracker, the latest press release is the PANIC BUTTON release that was sent out to try and save face in lieu of El Reg. 

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OH, right, we were gonna do a recap of the past 900 pages...

 

A long, long time ago... On a website far, far away...

 

Atari - Guess what, we're gonna make a console...

 

Internet - Yea... Right...

 

Atari - Don't doubt us, we're really gonna do it...

 

Internet - Tell us another tall tale...

 

Atari - All you got to do is... GIVE US YOUR MONEY !

 

Internet - We knew there was a catch to this...

 

Atari - We'll call it "Ataribox"

 

Internet - What a stupid name, people will get it mixed up with the Xbox...

 

Atari - Okay we changed our minds, we'll call it the Atari VCS...

 

Internet - Great, now folks will get it mixed up with the 2600 as it is also known as the VCS...

 

Atari - We're going with Indiegogo...

 

Indiegogo - You don't have to have a working anything to use our services, come right in Atari...

 

Atari - Not to worry Internet we'll keep you up to date on what we're doing...

 

~ Time Passes ~

 

Internet - This has to be a scam, there hasn't been any updates for months...

 

VCS fans - You all are just haters, give them time...

 

~ More Time Passes ~

 

Atari - We're making an announcement that there will be an announcement soon (tm)

 

VCS fans - see we told you so...

 

~ Yet even more time passes ~

 

Atari - We promise we'll have something to show soon (tm)

 

~ Sometime later ~

 

[ Insert video of someone playing Tempest 4000 here ]

 

VCS fans - ooooooooo, aaaaahhhhh, woooooow

 

Tempest 4000 programmers - That video is a fake as no one here is working on a port for the Atari VCS...  

 

VCS fans - ....

 

Atari - Uhm... Look... it says demo only right there on the video...

 

~ Things go quiet for awhile ~

 

Atari - We'll have something to show this 'Summer'

 

~ Summer Passes ~

 

Internet  - Well ?

 

~ Fall Starts ~

 

Atari - We got something to show now...

 

[ Shows off 'the board' ]

 

VSC fans - see you were worried over nothing...

 

Internet - That's nice, where is the RAM ?

 

[ News leaks about the main guy working on the innards gets out ]

 

Internet - Oh this just keeps getting better...

 

Atari - Watch this...

 

[ Video / Gif of the logo going on & off on the Unit ]

 

VCS fans - see it works...

 

Me - a $400.00 light switch, I'm not impressed...

 

( this brings us up to date )

 

P.S. Insert something about Tacos somewhere in the timeline above...

 

   

  

Edited by Woulfe
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5 hours ago, Lodmot said:

I actually found the original image that clip came from, and it's even scarier:

 

image.thumb.png.0264147505a2e5822facbee9d0db5d40.png

 

All of the Internet: There goes Fred with his non-working Ataribox.

 

Powerdubs: We don't know for sure  what's in the inside.

 

Screenshot_20191018-182857.thumb.png.0a979222e17d282394753b25acdf084d.png

 

 

🤪🤪🤪😂

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2 hours ago, Woulfe said:

We wish they were, they aren't...

However a video of this might be too...

'Interesting' for the gang over at the VCS fan club house...

 

Unreal. Using Woz to frontline your shitbox. 

 

200.gif
 

Everyone: how can they possibly disappoint us any more at this point?!

 

Freddy: Hold my beer. No wait, I must finish it first.... 


green bay slow chugger GIF by Bleacher Report

 

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