The review of A-Z of Atari ST Games Volume 3 book RetroLaird is trying to delete!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Andy Remic said:

In 2014 I was invited to Revival 2014 by Chris Wilkins.  He was a massive help with my early films, invited me to come along, and I agreed to meet Mark R. Jones and Simon Butler for an interview. 

 

As events transpired,  I filmed the Romero Q&A and then later interviewed John in a private room.  Afterwards, I gave Chris Wilkins permission to use and upload the footage ... After all, without Chris I would not have it!

Therefore, Chris Wilkins had my permission to use this film footage of John Romero, filmed at Revival 2014.

Thanks for the clarification, Andy.

I was at that event too. It was good, it is a shame everything has come to this.

 

-my final thought- that letter looks iffy. After all what medical professional would put TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN for one thing. They would address it to a specific person or his GP? and it is repeated again a little further down.

It looks like 'someone' laid various bits over each other on the scanner. (I might be wrong...)

It doesn't have his NHS number either which I would assume would be on there (even if he redacted it you would see where it should be -) also shouldn't the subject be KH himself as the patient.

 

I'm out. He's a bloody fool to himself.

[PeteProdge]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome within 3 months of visiting my first AND ONLY consultant on the NHS.

 

"Autism" and "Asperger's" are definitely NOT interchangeable terms. Asperger's is a part of autism, but it is not autism as a whole. The same way the terms "fruit" and "banana" can't be considered pure synonyms.

 

Congratulations on the supersleuthing on discovering that I run an account called Reheated Pixels. I have absolutely no idea how I got caught out there...

 

 

Not sure how I could be 'West Midlands Comedy' though. I'm from the east midlands. That account hasn't tweeted since 2011 and has never touched on anything to do with retrogaming. My first gig in any of the west midlands counties was in 2015.

 

 

"Unless they have somehow put a root kit on your computer, which you would probably know about if you have virus software installed, there is no way they could trace your I.P. address through Twitter, YouTube or Facebook." - Alex Delany of the - apparently - 'highly respected I.T. experts' Optima Computer Consultants Ltd.

ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS. Totally humongous claptrap.

 

It's quite easy to set an IP trap through social media platforms and forums. It can be done through Twitter and Facebook, very much so. Those two are probably the most common platforms for it!

And I love the laughable claim that "virus software" can definitely spot root kits. Oh, I wish!

 

The absolute worst is page 8, which is simply vile misogynist abuse aimed at a vulnerable woman. Really nasty personal abuse. It's truly disgusting.

 

And the rest of it, is a load of nit-picking that doesn't really go anywhere (the 'rebuke' against Mr Biffo is laughable). I wouldn't even call it semantics, because even arguments based on that, are at least rooted in some truth.

 

It's just 15 pages of pompous denials. Just about every page can be read as "Well you said I did that thing but I can say for sure that I did not do that thing so you are a liar and that is the end of that and I think I won that one thank you very much I am proven right, just goes to show that you should be ashamed of yourself".

Edited February 20, 2020 by PeteProdge
Minor dash needed.

[LinkoVitch]

His claims of having his Twitter account deactivated but these sock puppets were active so couldn't have been me.. is also laughable.  Deactivating one account on Twitter doesn't wipe out other.. unlike it would seem youtube, where when the primary account gets nuked, they remove all the sub accounts, as demonstrated by all the YT sock puppet accounts vanishing.

 

In addition having multiple accounts for different interests and purposes is entirely valid.  Having accounts to pretend to be other people and either falsely agree with your primary account or attack others with would be sock puppets and not ok. 

 

Obvious, well understood things, completely misunderstood by Kieren.  It is as though he has seen other people doing something, doesn't fully understand what it is or how it works and then just copies them.

[PeteProdge]

The 'nudge nudge wink wink' inferring that those with more than one Twitter account are up to some sock-puppetting tricks is quite a nice theory.

 

I wonder who else that theory could extend to?

 

[+Sauron]

For anyone who was mentioned in that manifesto...if you have any corrections to make to any statements made therein, please post them here. This thread would be a good place to collect them for a solidified and united rebuttal against his written diatribe, and all of which can be used in another video exposing his continued insistence on lying and continuing to deflect blame rather than own up to his actions.

[PixelsLtd]

I can already tell this is going to be a rant of some length and I apologise in advance but I feel a lot of this needs context. I have no intention of making this a black and white statement of guilt or innocence or starting a mudslinging contest.

 

I write this with a heavy heart as I've tried to stay away from all this drama and I don't like to make negative public statements. I may regret typing this but I feel that by not doing so, I am not being honest and am standing idly by whilst not protecting my good friends who I love dearly. All this drama over the last year or so has involved and/or affected several close personal friends of mine (including those I know IRL and have spent decent amounts of time with getting to know and trust implicitly, and one who I consider to be one of the best and most loyal friends I have ever had). Very little of this is my business to get involved in. As someone who has long suffered from an exhaustive list of mental health problems and has gone through a fairly tulmultuous time in my private life recently, none of which I would wish on anybody, I've avoided social media like the plague and not logged in to my personal twitter, facebook or others for several years. However, I started making YouTube videos about retro games and attending events as a way to force myself to have some form of limited social interaction and set up a dedicated twitter for that purpose and for a while everything was wonderful and I felt like I had made good friends and that the small UK community of retro gaming YouTubers was a pretty safe and welcoming one.

 

Though we have only met once in real life (at Play Expo Manchester, and we got on very well), I have spoken with Kieren at length online and if you had asked me last week my opinion on him, I would have said he was a friend and thoroughly vouched for him, as indeed would several of my other friends. I had no idea about any of this negative stuff over the years, other than knowing Kieren's side that he told me of how he has had several stalkers who had persecuted, harassed and bullied him online. My day job is working in the film industry and before that the music industry, and I myself have dealt with a plethora of harassment, abuse, doxing, false rumours by jealous colleagues or crazy internet randoms, so, I empathised and felt very sorry for him. I endeavoured to help him in private messages as much as I could when he was feeling upset or down, and several times he reached out for my advice in times of need and I helped as best I could. I had no reason to suspect that he might be lying, especially as he had written for Retro Gamer, appeared to have written many books (though I admit I hadn't read them, so assumed they were of a high standard, because I respect Retro Gamer), and I knew that he had helped several of my fellow YouTubers write their scripts, and they said he was a good bloke. I never researched the drama he mentioned further, as I try and avoid it and don't use forums or facebook groups and the like, only really recently managing to occasionally comment on retro gaming videos, to support my friends. As recently as last week I was talking with Keiren in the comments of his videos about our shared gaming memories and opinions, and I suspected nothing was wrong.

 

I only found out that Kieren was being blamed for all this when I read Paul's blogpost. Not that he named him, and I thought he did a really good job at staying pretty neutral and just trying to explain his limited experience. I have huge respect for Paul and in any dealing I have had with him I've found him nothing but honest and wanting to stay out of drama, despite people trying to constantly pull him into it. Though he didn't mention Kieren by name, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach when I read it, that it was refering to him. I did a quick google search of his name, found this thread, read all the posts, and my suspicions were confirmed. Let me strongly state that I didn't want to believe any of it. I considered Kieren a friend. To be honest, I still do, to an extent. I don't like to hold grudges and if I saw him down the pub I'd buy him a pint and talk about retro games. But I'd find it harder to trust him than perhaps I once naively did. I told him many details about my personal life that perhaps I shouldn't have. I still don't know for sure if all of this is true. It seemed to me reading that IP logs had been checked, google accounts avatars changing, sock puppet accounts all disapearing at once etc that it was pretty irrefutable, but after reading Kieren's statement saying that the IPs don't match or couldn't possibly be traced I must admit that I'm interested to see what is true and what isn't. Perhaps once again I've believed something at face value without confirming it myself. Its a bloody minefield and I don't have the time or energy for any of it and again I feel like I should just stay the hell away from it all and mind my own business.

 

So, whilst I avoided making a post here, a video, or a public statement on my twitter, or numerous other things that ran through my head and caused me anxiety to even consider, I decided to stay quiet and simply text my friends who's phone numbers I have to make sure they were ok. My main source of guilt for staying quiet publically was fuelled by seeing the messages on here, and videos by George, who I had heard many rumours about, specifically that he had been using sock puppets to target friends of mine (I had discussed this with Kieren, but it was a widespread belief amongst many in the community so he wasn't the only person I heard it from), and I just believed those rumours right away, partially because so many people I respected believed them, and also partially because upon looking at George's videos, many of them were quite angry, foul mouthed and regularly attacking at least three people I considered good friends in ways that I felt were misguided and unfair. I don't think George and I are in danger of becoming best friends any time soon. However, as he has said, there is a big difference between publically saying something in a video standing by your convictions (even if I strongly disagree with them), and using sock puppet accounts, manipulating people, or trying to damage their personal lives outside of YouTube. I felt I owed George some sort of apology, as I think on at least one occasion I have been lucky enough to be invited to participate in a public event with some much more successful YouTubers than myself, and may have laughed at or agreed with a comment aimed at him, because of what we all believed to be true, and now, it looks as though we were wrong to believe.

 

When I saw that several of my friends had made apologies to George, or at least acknowledged they may have been wrong for blaming him for everything, I felt that I was not breaking any loyalties by apologising to him as well. I felt I needed to be true to my own morals, even if it was inviting negative attention to myself. I worded my apology very carefully so as to not imply that I endorsed his previous statements, but also that I was sorry for taking those statements as evidence of much worse crimes. To be fair, George replied in a very gracious way to myself and others and I respect him for doing so. I hope there are no hard feelings. I also left a comment on the original blogpost that lead me to even be aware of all this, as I felt that it was important to give a small amount of context and to restate that I hope that we can all now move on and just go back to talking about the games that we all love. No-one in the community wants all this drama. Many people have different political beliefs, religions, backgrounds, whatever, but the thing that brought us together is our shared love of retro gaming. After I made my post, Paul locked the thread, leaving my message as the last one. I hope this is because he felt it was a nice, kind spirited way to end, and not that he felt I was somehow trying to escalate things or make things worse. Having re-read my statement I think its a fitting end to all this and I was happy to leave it at that. I've not commented anywhere more publically and had no futher intention to say any more on the matter.

 

But, then I saw Kieren's 15 page statement. To be frank, because of all the evidence I'd seen here I had pretty much decided he was probably guilty and I was very sad about it, I felt like I had been betrayed by a friend and somewhat groomed and used for my closeness to certain other people. But still, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If he hadn't deleted his YouTube or Twitter I would have reached out to him to ask him if he was ok, and to let him explain himself. By deleting his accounts and also the troll accounts disappearing as well, and his facebook groups becoming private, that looked to me both like he was guilty, and that there was no way for me to contact him to get his side. I am aware that there is never a 100% black or white, right or wrong answer in cases like this, and even if he had come out and admitted wrongdoing and apologised, I would have forgiven him and still remained his friend and tried to coach him through whatever demons he had making him feel that he had to act this way. Of course we all know that people who lie about themself or others to make themselves look good are often very unhappy, and those who bully others are usually the most unhappy and insecure of them all, and though I can be angry at someone's behaviour, I try to feel sorry for them and wish to help them, rather than persecuting and writing them off. Again I won't get into it but I've recently had several friends and family either take their own lives, or attempt to, and I was worried that he would feel put in a similar position. That is never the answer, especially when you have children.

 

Reading the full statement was somewhat of a rollercoaster, in the sense that my opinions and emotions fluctuated throughout. Its clear that there is a whole heap of history going back years that I don't even slightly have the context, knowledge or proof to judge fully. His statement says that what have been stated as irrefutable facts like IP logs, screenshots and statements from seemingly reputable people like publishers or well regarded authors may not be accurate. Considering some things such as him admitting to lying or misrepresenting facts about "writing" various Spectrum games (both commercial releases and ones typed out from code books) and the fact the avatar to his personal google account changed at the same time as a fake account don't point towards him always being 100% honest, but again as with George, I shouldn't take evidence of one wrong, as being evidence as a whole string of them. Many people would subscribe to Occams' Razor, but as YouTubers we would probably all prefer Dollar Shave Club. (Sorry!) But, when I got to the latter parts of the document, I got to places where he is stating stuff that I know personally to be untrue, and furthermore I know that HE knows are untrue.

 

Kieren. Mate. If you are reading this. I'm sorry for typing this stuff. I'm sorry for getting involved. I considered you a friend and despite all this I want you to be ok. I would never wish any harm on you or your family. I'm not the bad guy, please don't hate me. If you had not have made it personal, I would have stayed way out of this and left it as it was. I'm not 100% sure as to who is telling the truth and who is lying about what specific thing in most cases. But you KNOW that some of what you said about one of my best friends is untrue, and some of it is heavily misleading. This is a person that is extremely vulnerable, and trusted you, and confided in you, and the fact you have tried to "help them through these issues" are a good portion of why we became close friends online and I trusted you. If you are truly responsible for any of those problems in the first place, that is unforgivable. I found it truly hard to believe, and if you read my previous statements, you'll see that I never fully believed them and said things like "if he is guilty" and stated that I considered you as a friend who had been kind to me and who I trusted. However, there is stuff in that statement that is patently untrue, others which are half truths worded in purposefully misleading ways, and covering subjects hitting very much below the belt where a reasonable person should not have gone to. I'm sure that you know which bits I'm talking about. The fact you would stoop to that level in an attempt to try and make yourself look better makes me incredibly sad and makes me feel that you've actually made yourself look more likely to be guilty in my eyes. This still doesn't mean I wish you any harm. In fact I'm very worried for your mental health, and I want you to speak to someone, get help, and just step away from everything, for the sake of you, and your family. Please don't do anything silly mate. But please, also, know when to "leave alone", and when you are crossing lines that should never be crossed.

 

For anyone else reading this I'm aware 99% of you don't know who I am and also that I have stated that I know for fact that some of his statement is lies or half truths, but I have not stated which ones or offered proof. I'm struggling with this as I don't feel its my place to reveal details of the personal lives of my close friends. For context, these aren't just YouTubers I've collaborated with or met at conventions. These are people who I know well. People who despite the fact I've not been able to be online for over a year have remained good friends and in touch both by phone and in real life. People who have trusted me into their lives. Invited me into their homes. Insisted on giving me lifts to places that were well out of their way. Helped me through very difficult times. One even kindly cooked me an incredible dinner on a Christmas I would have otherwise spent alone. And never ONCE have I used this for clout publically. Never posted a picture. Never mentioned it on twitter. It wasn't about "using" them, it was about them being some of the nicest, most genuine people I've had the pleasure of knowing, who I love and trust implicitely and am heartbroken when I see people trying to hurt them. And I don't feel that its appropropriate to suddenly state exactly which people I'm refering to or which things in the statement I know aren't true. Because I'm not posting this for any reason other than I'm hoping Kieren sees it. And HE knows which bits aren't true or are misleading. Kieren. Please stop. I considered you a mate. I'm hurt, and dissapointed, but I still do, despite all this. I wish you no ill will whatsoever, I want you to get over all this and move on for the sake of your health and your family. PLEASE stop making it worse for yourself and others. I can see that perhaps not all the accusations are black and white and you may have been wrongfully accused or misrepresented in some ways and you feel let down and backed up against a wall trying to protect yourself. But as I said to George, by dragging other people into this in what looks on the surface, even to impartial others, to be an agressive, vindictive way, you make it very hard for people to feel sympathy for you. I apologised to George and I apoligise to you for believing "everything" without checking the evidence myself. I'll leave it up to others to fact check your defenses, some of which may be perfectly valid. I've no idea. But please stop making this personal and further causing harm to people who never asked to be dragged into any of this, and who have been very supportive and kind to you in the past, and even less than a week ago were pubically defending you in youtube comments and refusing to believe any of this as they considered you a trusted friend just as I did. I want this to all be over, as I'm sure you also do. Please don't make it worse. Let's try and heal and move on.

Edited February 21, 2020 by PixelsLtd
Spelling and clarity

[Shamus]

25 minutes ago, PixelsLtd said:

But, then I saw Kieren's 15 page statement. To be frank, because of all the evidence I'd seen here I had pretty much decided he was probably guilty and I was very sad about it, I felt like I had been betrayed by a friend and somewhat groomed and used for my closeness to certain other people.

This is, unfortunately, how Mr. Hawken operates.  He has done this with many other people; curried their favor to advance his career in order to make inroads in whatever community it is that he is attempting to insinuate himself into.  Once he figures out that you're of no more use to him, he will delete your contact info and never give you another thought.  This is not conjecture, this pattern has been seen over and over again.  It's not just someone's opinion, there is a literal mountain of evidence showing this.

 

All this giving Mr. Hawken the benefit of the doubt has only allowed him to continue to victimize other people.  And this is the thing, Mr. Hawken is not a ordinary, decent person.  An ordinary, decent person would have taken stock of themselves, would have felt the pang of empathy and considered the wrong they have done to other people, would have apologized for their wrongdoing and asked for forgiveness.  Need I say that Mr. Hawken has been doing this kind of thing for more than fifteen years?  And not once admitted any wrongdoing?

 

I know it's hard to admit to yourself that you've been taken in by a psychopath, I've been there myself.  And there is absolutely no need to feel sorry for him; he certainly doesn't feel sorry for you.

[+Sauron]

12 minutes ago, Shamus said:

And there is absolutely no need to feel sorry for him; he certainly doesn't feel sorry for you.

THIS. Some of us here have known him and had to deal with him for far longer than many of the YouTubers and publishers that he's been cozying up with the last few years. I'm sorry, but after having been falsely accused of being a pedophile and a rapist (among other things) for the last decade, there's not a shred of sympathy for him left in me. And why would there be? He certainly doesn't feel sorry for me. Trying to destroy my name was just a means to an end for him.

 

And one other thing to note, for anyone else who may be feeling sorry for him. How many people are sticking up for him, providing proof that he's innocent of any of the numerous accusations, and standing by him publicly? Not ONE person has come forward on his behalf. Not to mention the fact that many of us predicted his response to all of this long before he released his manifesto. Point fingers, deflect, hide behind health, wash, rinse, repeat. A leopard never changes its spots, after all.

[+CyranoJ]

To comment on Sauron's post above.

 

GO AND READ THE EMAIL I HAD TO SEND TO JEFF MINTER. IT'S IN THIS THREAD.

 

After being accused of being homophobic by Kieren (among many other things) - I have ZERO sympathy for this shitbag. And zero interest in the sentiment that he's 'misguided'.  All his actions are deliberate, targeted and intentional, and you can be assured he gives ZERO FUCKS about anyone except himself.

[PixelsLtd]

15 minutes ago, Shamus said:

All this giving Mr. Hawken the benefit of the doubt has only allowed him to continue to victimize other people.

Thank you for your measured and kind response. I'm not "giving him the benefit of the doubt" in the sense that I have said that he has admitted to lying about certain things, and I know for certain that he is still lying about other things. His document raises certain questions where he implies there have been some things he has been flasely accused of, I'm sure others here will be able to prove that one way or another, none of that is my business or in my power. But yeah, though I REALLY didn't want to make any kind of public statement about any of this, the reason I did was to try and prevent the continued victimizing of parties that I know are innocent of some of the things he is either accusing or heavily implying. To have stayed silent would have been disloyal and disingenuous. You guys don't need me to tear down Kieren, thats been done already, and I don't think his response is helping him whilst he continues to unfairly attack others with lies and half truths. I will always feel compassion for people who are driven to act in these ways, because it comes from a place of being fundementally broken, sad, and in need of councelling. But I will always feel even MORE compassion for the innocent victims. I was not in any way trying to minimise upset casued by him action, I've seen first hand the devastation some of this has caused and I am angry and appalled at his actions.

 

5 minutes ago, Sauron said:

I'm sorry, but after having been falsely accused of being a pedophile and a rapist (among other things) for the last decade, there's not a shred of sympathy for him left in me.

That is of course appauling behaviour and I am truly sorry to anyone who has ever gone through this or similar. Of course I don't know the full story in this case but if any individual ever goes that far, they have to be extremely broken and need extreme help, and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near social media or the internet until they have a full recovery and realise why that must not and cannot ever happen again.

[Crusty Starfish]

Can I have my 45 minutes back please? I read the whole 15 pages of bullshit from him and have to say I feel even more pissed off with the lying little gobshite.

 

 

[Octav1us]

Alright. I just wrote a massive reply to this statement, because he chose to single me out ( for some reason?) and try to make me look like a liar, a homewrecker (single parents are very much a thing, Kieren, also did you know males and females can be mates), and someone who pretends to be depressed for attention (you have seen my scars Kieren. You have seen me having a panic attack at an event.)

 

But if I published it, I would be feeding the beast. And everyone reading his statement is probably already well aware it's pure lies, so I don't really need to say it. 

 

 

Once again Kieren, I am very much willing to forgive you. I think you are a very sick person, and I'll be honest, when we have discussed mental health issues via DM I had no reason to disbelieve you. I do think you have issues. I absolutely wish no ill-will against you.

I just want you to stop this. And be better.

[PixelsLtd]

2 minutes ago, CyranoJ said:

After being accused of being homophobic ... zero interest in the sentiment that he's 'misguided'.  All his actions are deliberate, targeted and intentional...

Again, I'm sorry for anyone that happens to, thats another of the "below the belt" stuff I stated should NEVER be made. I never said that he was "misguided" and I don't believe he was. I believe that all actions he actually made were deliberate and I know first hand that some of them were malicious, as proved by his statement combined with knowledge that proves to me that he is miswording stuff to deflect and make others look bad. That's what made me speak up in the first place, not to defend him, but to defend my friends and to ask him to stop falsely scapegoating them. All I said was that I want him to get help rather than be killed, and just because he is definitely guilty of some things doesn't mean he is guilty of everything (the exact same mistake I made when judging George too quickly, which was wrong of me and I have apologised for), and I'm sure his statement can be picked apart to prove some stuff one way or the other. 

 

I mean no disrespect to anyone and I am appalled at the things that I know for sure that he has done. I am just trying to appeal to him and everyone else's better nature here. As I said, I've recently lost people close to me who took their own life because of online drama and I've seen how it affected their families and friends. My main advice to Kieren if he is reading is just to step away from the online world for a while and concentrate on his own health and looking after his family. I don't believe I was disrespecting anyone's pain or invalidating their experience by doing so.

 

I'm gonna stay quiet now as I've said my piece and I think that my words have spoken for themselves. I would much rather start to move on and heal and help those friends who have been affected by this. I wish nothing but the best to anyone reading this.

[+CyranoJ]

15 years of actions says your appeals to him are worthless.  This was his chance to atone and he doubled down. Again. He literally has no thought or care for anyone else except himself.

[+Sauron]

12 minutes ago, PixelsLtd said:

That is of course appauling behaviour and I am truly sorry to anyone who has ever gone through this or similar. Of course I don't know the full story in this case but if any individual ever goes that far, they have to be extremely broken and need extreme help, and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near social media or the internet until they have a full recovery and realise why that must not and cannot ever happen again.

See, that's the problem. When someone accuses you of being mean, or lying about something, people tend to brush that off. But, when someone accuses you of hideous crimes such as those, that's an accusation that tends to stick on people, whether deservedly or not. And that's what I have been having to deal with from him for the last decade. Knowing there's people out there who think I'm even capable of such acts is something that has absolutely killed my desire to participate in any kind of retrogaming community since then. I can't prove I'm not either of those things, and no matter what I say, people will hear those accusations and wonder if they're true. Guilty before proven innocent, and all. 

 

Look, I'm not attacking you over what you said, or even over your desire to try to remain "out of the fray", it's just that people need to understand that the whole giving him the benefit of the doubt thing is what has allowed him to continue this behavior for so long. People need to understand this fact, so that it won't be repeated again in the future.

 

[+Sauron]

6 minutes ago, Octav1us said:

And everyone reading his statement is probably already well aware it's pure lies, so I don't really need to say it. 

Exactly. At this point, whatever Kieren says, the opposite is most likely the truth. I don't know the first thing about you, but I'm 100% certain that what he said about you was pure rubbish.

 

[PixelsLtd]

4 minutes ago, Sauron said:

When someone accuses you of hideous crimes such as those, that's an accusation that tends to stick on people, whether deservedly or not.

 

Yes, absolutely. As a film producer and actor, I am all too aware of that. It regularly happens to friends of mine and scares the crap out of me. I've kept my nose as clean as can be but it only takes one idiot with a vendetta and you are damaged irreparably. Of course I do not know the ins and outs of this particular situation or anything about you but I'm truly sorry for hurtful things that have happened to you that you did not deserve. I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on my worst enemy. I think Sarah's succinct, kind and graceful statement above is a good place for me to bow out of this discussion unless anything deeper comes to light where I feel I can add actually useful input. Thanks

[Octav1us]

9 minutes ago, Sauron said:

Exactly. At this point, whatever Kieren says, the opposite is most likely the truth. I don't know the first thing about you, but I'm 100% certain that what he said about you was pure rubbish.

 

Yeah. I do wonder why he chose to pick me out, the YouTuber he has never worked with save for providing some facts for a Jaguar video. But after reading that statement, I can't help but think that the chance to make some misogynistic statements - which almost exactly echo the ones made by the troll accounts on Twitter - had something to do with it. 

 

I did talk to him a couple of times about mental health, and I had no reason to think he was lying about his struggles. And I do believe he has issues. But to say that I pretend to be depressed for Patreon money - that's the age-old statement the troll accounts have made. He has seen my videos, he knows how much effort goes into them. They aren't just me in front of a camera going "please give me money" (by the way Kieren, don't you mention Patreon in every one of your videos with a great big banner? I don't think I've ever mentioned mine, except in passing on recent one?) 

 

So that is a low blow, I must say.

 

And also, he did indeed beg me to release that statement about him during Horacegate, and yes; I put up the statement because I was dealing with my own problems at the time, as you would be. And yes, it's embarrassing to say but Kieren has blasted it in his statement anyway, I do have a history of self-harm and I was making plans at the time he was begging me to make that statement. Again, that's a low blow Kieren, to share how unwell I was at that time. But I suppose now knowing what I know, I shouldn't have expected anything less.

 

Kieren - you really are acting like a terrible person. And again I implore you to get help. Despite all this, you do deserve happiness and I do hope you get it - but you most certainly won't find it here.

[RetroPrincess]

Sigh.

I'm exhausted. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours at a stretch for 6 months.

See Kieren and Andrews know that I’m vulnerable because I was stupid enough to explain that to them. About my brain being obsessed with following truths and rules. About being honest and able to verify everything I do.

so here are some truths:

* never one was money discussed regarding Horace. Ever. In fact I have a DM from you stating that there was no money concerns over it.

* I have all the emails saved from Andrews and I talking...4 of them.  Money, charities or anything like that where never discussed. 

* where you get the idea that I’ve somehow told Andrews about Sarah’s videos I’m not sure. Again, I have every single conversation with you and Andrews saved. And I’ve shared that with Sarah 

* your statement was very deliberately timed to coincide with Play Margate. We are both in attendance and you would know it would be hard for us both to attend even without that rot you published.

* Andrews to this day still hasn’t shown me proof of IP ownership. I’ve never received a cease and desist

* I couldn’t coerce a fruit fly to eat a banana. 

* the plushies at Blackpool belonged to the ZX Next team. I have receipts proving their purchase. They were used as photo props and for promotional purposes. I was assured that it was absolutely fine to do this. When this kicked off I asked Andrews to pass proof of ownership to them as I was under the impression that they were in discussions with him over it. At this point Andrews said that he hoped ZX Next would cover me legally because he was going to “assert his rights” or whatever. A senior member of that team then messaged me to tell me to stop making the toy. Since then I’ve had no contact with them at all and they chose to write out Horace from their game development. 

* for my part, I value Sarah’s friendship immensely. I have shared all my evidence with them. We are similar people in many respects and I would never ever betray her trust or do anything to bring her harm.

*Sarah actually supported me this week when I was at crisis point mentally. Very seriously making plans to die. That is what I’ve been pushed to through this. The mental strain is now manifesting physically. But for Kieren, it appears that it only matters it he feels suicidal. Anyone else must be making it up.

* I need to get through this weekend he has deliberately made this harder for me with this ridiculous statement release. I’m trying to support myself with a tiny business that was almost wiped off the map with lies. And for what...I don’t even earn enough to fill out a tax return.

* I’ve had a horrible 2 years of serious illness, bereavement, stress and upset. I hope you are really happy that you’ve added to that. It seems to bring you some sort of bizarre pleasure to lie and bring hurt. 

 

This is the only comment I’m going to make and I’m not going to share the evidence here publicly because I’m exploring my legal rights at the moment. 

I’m devastated by all this. I don’t have a huge amount going for me. I’m trying to honestly make my way in the world. I’m trying to support my family just like you Kieren. With mobility problems and MH problems and autism too. 

But the difference is I would never EVER stoop to your kind of behaviour. I pity you for the very lonely life you will end up leading.

Bravo for trying to drag me down to your level with you..you failed.

[Octav1us]

Sorry to poke this - but the most bizzare lie here is that I sent screenshots of Kierens Facebook to George Cropper. I'm aware Mr Cropper is on this thread, perhaps he can clarify where this came from?

 

I'm not on Facebook often, and myself and Mr Cropper are not friends on there. In addition, and I don't want to sound disrespectful Kieren, I have zero interest in going around screencapping your feed. You're really not that interesting mate...

 

I joke, but seriously if George told you he got screengrabs from me, I would ask for proof. Because it's not true, and you're being done. 

[Andrew Rosa]

19 minutes ago, RetroPrincess said:

Sigh.

I'm exhausted. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours at a stretch for 6 months.

See Kieren and Andrews know that I’m vulnerable because I was stupid enough to explain that to them. About my brain being obsessed with following truths and rules. About being honest and able to verify everything I do.

so here are some truths:

* never one was money discussed regarding Horace. Ever. In fact I have a DM from you stating that there was no money concerns over it.

* I have all the emails saved from Andrews and I talking...4 of them.  Money, charities or anything like that where never discussed. 

* where you get the idea that I’ve somehow told Andrews about Sarah’s videos I’m not sure. Again, I have every single conversation with you and Andrews saved. And I’ve shared that with Sarah 

* your statement was very deliberately timed to coincide with Play Margate. We are both in attendance and you would know it would be hard for us both to attend even without that rot you published.

* Andrews to this day still hasn’t shown me proof of IP ownership. I’ve never received a cease and desist

* I couldn’t coerce a fruit fly to eat a banana. 

* the plushies at Blackpool belonged to the ZX Next team. I have receipts proving their purchase. They were used as photo props and for promotional purposes. I was assured that it was absolutely fine to do this. When this kicked off I asked Andrews to pass proof of ownership to them as I was under the impression that they were in discussions with him over it. At this point Andrews said that he hoped ZX Next would cover me legally because he was going to “assert his rights” or whatever. A senior member of that team then messaged me to tell me to stop making the toy. Since then I’ve had no contact with them at all and they chose to write out Horace from their game development. 

* for my part, I value Sarah’s friendship immensely. I have shared all my evidence with them. We are similar people in many respects and I would never ever betray her trust or do anything to bring her harm.

*Sarah actually supported me this week when I was at crisis point mentally. Very seriously making plans to die. That is what I’ve been pushed to through this. The mental strain is now manifesting physically. But for Kieren, it appears that it only matters it he feels suicidal. Anyone else must be making it up.

* I need to get through this weekend he has deliberately made this harder for me with this ridiculous statement release. I’m trying to support myself with a tiny business that was almost wiped off the map with lies. And for what...I don’t even earn enough to fill out a tax return.

* I’ve had a horrible 2 years of serious illness, bereavement, stress and upset. I hope you are really happy that you’ve added to that. It seems to bring you some sort of bizarre pleasure to lie and bring hurt. 

 

This is the only comment I’m going to make and I’m not going to share the evidence here publicly because I’m exploring my legal rights at the moment. 

I’m devastated by all this. I don’t have a huge amount going for me. I’m trying to honestly make my way in the world. I’m trying to support my family just like you Kieren. With mobility problems and MH problems and autism too. 

But the difference is I would never EVER stoop to your kind of behaviour. I pity you for the very lonely life you will end up leading.

Bravo for trying to drag me down to your level with you..you failed.

I'm not laughing at your statement. In fact, I'm fucking thrilled to see you standing up for yourself and setting shit straight. Not that anyone was buying into Kieren's "alternative facts" one second, but you get what I mean....

However, I'm sorry, but "I couldn't coerce a fruit fly to eat a banana." ???? Crying. Dying. Now. Thank you for that bit of levity. 

[+CyranoJ]

I suppose now I'm home from work I should respond properly to this insane ramling brainfart of a response from Kieren "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" Hawken.

 

1. Ringleader

 

Amazing, I've managed to coerce literally hundreds of people to write similar accounts of your behaviour, personality trails and attacks towards them.  Including people I have never met or even heard of until all this broke out, as I don't follow the youtube scene.  In all honesty I thought you just hated me for whatever reason (mainly because I got your ebay store taken down) - but truth be told, after reading some of the things you have done to others I don't think I should even have a claim for my pound of flesh.  I cannot forgive you for what you've done to me, I cannot even begin to imagine how the others you have fucked over feel.  What you have done to me over 10+ years is completely insignificant to the acts planned and deliberately acted out towards them in the last 18 months.  

 

If you wish to credit me for breaking what you are to the world, then so be it.  I'm not ashamed of that.  You fucking well should be.

 

2. Jaguar Sector II banning

 

Yup, I was banned because I wouldn't subscribe to Kieren's 'authority' on all things Jaguar. I left (booted), and returned once Kieren himself was banned by the owner, Jay Smith.  Funny how you left that part out, isn't it Kieren? Would you like to explain to the readers why Jay banned you? No? Maybe that is a story for another time, eh?

 

Oh, and why was I banned, Kieren? Yes that's right, because you spread rumours that Jagware and myself were involved in piracy of Battlesphere.  Which, of course, was utterly untrue to the extent we made a statement on our first release.  Even back then you were all about 'agendas' and we had to defend ourselves ... sad.



3. AtariAge banning and Mr Morden.

 

Yup. I was Mr Morden. Big hurrah for working that one out all on your own, did you have a little dance and laugh hysterically for having caught me out there? Because oh my God did I try to hide that one from the world.

And why were we using these duplicate names? Because people (or, as I now suspect, you) were harassing devs and tearing them down for whatever god only knows reasons, so we wanted to develop this anonymously until we had something to release so you couldn't target your attacks.  Was I banned for it?  Yes.

 

Albert was fully aware of the duplicate accounts and the reasons for them being created, however a ban for them was in order, and we took it on our chins and owned up. This is how I responded to that ban - as an adult.  We nearly quit the scene - oh, yes, 10 years ago you almost 'won' before the battle even started.  Luckily, we don't back down to bullies and liars, Kieren.

 

 

We were unbanned shortly after this and I feel proud with the last 10 years of contribution to the Jaguar scene.  What have you contributed, Kieren? What will you be remembered for?

4. The ST scene:

 

Yes, I was in Automation. Yes, I was in other groups, including D-Bug. Whoop-de-fucking-do, Kieren.  No, I have never sold "Menu Disks", ever.  One more paragraph of lies without proof.

 

In the "Modern Day" as you put it I have also never, not once, sold a single ROM or cart of any of the ports or other people's software. In fact, you will notice I go out of my way explicitly to prevent these ROMs from running on carts and lock them to skunkboards and Jag GD devices to prevent people you regularly associate with making runs of them on ebay. 

 

Gaztee does limited small runs for the community, sure, and does a fine job with them.  However, I'm not Gaztee.   Again, you cannot provide anything of substance here, because you are full of lies. 

 

Now, how about your Ebay store?

 

From your "manifesto"
 

Quote

all the screenshots he keeps posting are of me making reproductions of public domain games and unreleased prototypes, which is not illegal. In fact in many cases I had written permission from the authors to reproduce them.

 

First off, nearly every released homebrew game is not "Public Domain" - it is Shareware.  There is a very distinct difference.  I'd get an adult to read out what that is to you.  As to the permission from authors, well why do I have a mailbox full of DMCA takedown notices on your store for Jagware and other releases from friends who give their time for free for the people of the scene, only to have that work taken and sold by yourself, Kieren?  I'm quite happy to post or provide them, but honestly, at this point in your pathetic excuse of a response, I doubt anyone would ask me to.  Why did you not post the proof of people giving you permission, Kieren?

 

Why have members of Jagware reported you multiple times?  You didn't get permission from anyone for those things, and certainly not for Soul Star, American Hero, Veruna's Forces, etc.  As for your "links of proof" they don't show me selling anything. 

 

Cut the shit, you are out of credibility.

 

Even playing devil's advocate and pretending that in Kieren's fantasy world everything he wrote above is true, how in fucks name does it mitigate what he's done? 

 

In fact, reading back his accusations against me to reply here made me realise how utterly insignificant and childish they are.  This is schoolboy playground mentality, Kieren. Grow the fuck up.

 

"Someone else did something unrelated" is not a defence, Kieren. Your entire manifesto of lies responding to your uncontested victory in winning the "shitbag of the decade" award consists of whinging about being caught, deflection, and, most oddly, a complete lack of anything to prove your innocence.  It's also 100% devoid of any pretense that you actually give a fuck about anyone you have systematically tried to make miserable for the last 10+ years. 

 

You had one chance here to say sorry and act even the slightest bit like you cared about the damage you have caused.

 

You, Kieren, are an abhorrent individual.

 

[Edited for spelling and clarity... unlike Kieren's books]

[+Biff Burgertime]

2 hours ago, Andrew Rosa said:

However, I'm sorry, but "I couldn't coerce a fruit fly to eat a banana." ???? Crying. Dying. Now. Thank you for that bit of levity. 

If anything good has come of this debacle, it's that we Americans are learning a fuck ton of amazing British insults.

 

 

Quote

You claim you don’t like be objectified sexually yet in every video there you are wearing some sort of erotic or skimpy clothing (suspenders, lingerie, skin tight cat suits etc.)

Where can I find a strip club where all the girls are wearing suspenders?

Edited February 21, 2020 by Buffalo Biff Burgertime

[Lost Dragon]

Apologies for being a little late to the dance here,  but just home from a night shift.

 

As one of the named individuals ( but of no one of any importance)  i will set the record straight on the points raised by Kieren that are borderline worthy of a response.

 

1.The RVG Poll: It was actually to decide if the site kept my Les Player interview or not, as it was gifted to them by myself, who'd at that point quit the forum

 

 

After this Jamie asked if i could pass on my industry contact details to him,so he could interview them for RVG, I declined and years later Jamie asked me to rejoin RVG, i declined.

 

 

2Amazon.Co.Uk reviews:Amazon UK allows customers to submit reviews WITHOUT making a purchase,  Amazon.Com DOES NOT, you have to make a purchase. 

 

Check the guidelines for both sites Kieren,  you sell your rubbish on both.

 

Amazon UK community team APPROVED my reviews.

 

And why on earth would I BUY in 2019 a pdf collection of reviews i read for FREE on RVG and Atari Gamer Magazine, back in 2013?

 

Your a limp penis Kieren. 

 

What really bugs you, is you still don't know who's left 1 star reviews for your books on Goodreads and Google Books.

 

 

The review comments trolling mine were Retro Girl ones, your fake account used to 5 star your work as your desperate attempt to get your social media mates to leave any reviews of your books, fell flat on it's arse.

 

3.Atari Gamer Magazine :Again,  i sent Greyfox various odds n sods of RESEARCH, Greyfox WROTE them up as articles.

 

4.The best i save to last.

 

If you had the intelligence level higher than a blow fly, you would of least of looked at public records for North Devon Magistrates courts and seen when I was sworn in as a special constable,  not your kind of special mind.

 

 

I could give you my old collar number or Warrant Card details, but i am dealing with a dribbling bell end, who..and i cannot emphasise this enough, contacts BEDFORDSHIRE CONSTABULARY (Bedford,  Central Bedfordshire and Luton)  to ask about an Ex-Devon and Cornwall special constable who's patch was:Barnstaple, Torrington, Hartland, Holsworthy and surrounding areas.

 

Try Goggle Maps and see if you can comphend how a constabulary over 200 miles away from mine, must have wondered what on earth you were on about.

 

You really haven't a clue about anything, have you.

 

 

I was told you were going out on.a bang,instead you serve up 15 pages of the most poorly written whimper, that's a laughing stock online.

 

 

You've been described as a spider on a Web,but your far more like those slimy little critters that scuttle and hide when you lift up a rock.

 

 

 

May you live in interesting times and you reap everything you've sown.

 

 

You've proven yourself a massive WANKER, it's just a crying shame your father didn't remain one and you were tossed off into the rocks.

 

 

 

 

You might be able to knock out over 30 A to Z guides in a year,but your failing to knock out a wanks worth of apathy towards your situation from myself. 

 

 

Over 5 years and this is all you have in your arsenal to combat my exposure of your behaviour and total lack of Atari knowledge, what the fuck have you been playing at all this time?

 

 

It clearly wasn't how to mask an ISP or get taken seriously as a writer.

 

15 pages to prove your unable to prove anything, a picture of you sucking your thumb,wearing a dunces cap would of been just fine.

Edited February 21, 2020 by Lost Dragon

[PeteProdge]

3 minutes ago, Lost Dragon said:

Amazon.Co.Uk reviews:Amazon UK allows customers to submit reviews WITHOUT making a purchase,  Amazon.Com DOES NOT, you have to make a purchase. 

 

Check the guidelines for both sites Kieren,  you sell your rubbish on both.

[...]

The review comments trolling mine were Retro Girl ones, your fake account used to 5 star your work as your desperate attempt to get your social media mates to leave any reviews of your books, fell flat on it's arse.

 

Speaking of which, [url=https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/profile/amzn1.account.AHISQUH5BKSHPV7JZCNON53WOUMA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_gw_btm?ie=UTF8]the Amazon reviews from 'Retro Girl'[/url]...

 

 

...which as you mention, feature overwhelmingly positive reviews for those books, only have the 'Verified Purchase' for things that aren't those books, like Cards Against Humanity, some salsa from Tenerife, etc. 

 

It's the very thing the Luton Liar has condemned you for...

 

 

Still, if Amazon needs one thing, it's a line by all the Luton Liar's books, that states

 

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