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The review of A-Z of Atari ST Games Volume 3 book RetroLaird is trying to delete!


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9 hours ago, Landstalker said:

"Back in 1989 it was almost unheard of for Ocean to release a game that wasn't a license."
Kieren Hawken A Compendium of ZX Spectrum Games . Quondam review Page 102

Seems like he wasn't paying much attention back then.
He missed 20, two of which were kind of a big deal in the gaming world at the time.
 

 

 

Ocean titles that were not licences that I can think of:

(Might be some overlap of Landstalker's list)

 

A Fi$tful of Buck$ ('85)
Android 2 ('83)
Bangers and Mash ('84)
Basket Master ('87 - Under 'Imagine')
Battle Command('91)
Beach Volleyball ('89)
Chinese Juggler ('84)
Combat School / Boot Camp ('87)
Double Take ('87)
Gilligan's Gold ('84)
Highnoon ('84)
Hyper Active ('88)
I-War (PC '97)
Jonny and the Jumpies ('84)
Kid Chaos ('94)
Kong ('83)
Kong Strikes Back! ('85)
Madballs ('87)
Mailstrom ('86)
Match Day ('84)
Match Day 2 ('87)
Mr. Nuts ('93)
Mr. Nutz: Hoppin' Mad ('94)
Rollerball ('83)
Sleepwalker ('93)
Starace ('87)
Stunt Bike ('84)
Super Bowl XX ('86) * unsure if this is an official licence, either way it isn't a Coin-Op.
Super Soccer ('86)

 

as well as Spectrum Games Games like Frenzy, Catapilla and others.


I am sure there are a whole bunch more as well !

 

+ - Parasol Stars, Target Renegade, Renegade 3 (Original game sequels)

 

* I have included pre-post 89 titles because his assertion that in 89 it was very rare is not born out because both before, after and indeed during 1989 Ocean released a whole chunk of originals.

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6 hours ago, Welshworrier said:

You could always watch his latest video and see how he reviews his Atari 8 bit book.

 

Amusingly he says the next one in hardback will be the c64, he thinks it'll be his best due to the extensive rewriting he's done.

 

 

Hi Kieren (we know your glued to this thread), just had a look at the Sample pages for Volume 1 of your C64 A-Z.

 

A few pointers for your compedium rewrite 

 

Alien:Whilst the USCSS Nostromo is a cargo ship, in the film, the company is using it as a commercial hauler,  a space tug if you will, it's towing an ore refinery, not carrying cargo itself. 

 

Chips Challenge :yeah, Lynx version, Lynx version yadda yadda..try telling the reader about the C64 version.

 

 

 

Bomb Jack:Silly Kieren, you forgot you'd just edited the ZX Spectrum review as the C64 review has the line: ' This Speccy version of the Coin-Op '

 

 

Enduro Racer:Doh, you silly Moo, you've done it again here, gone and (rightly) slagged off the C64 version, but left the ZX Spectrum score, 8/10

 

 

Empire Strikes Back:It's the second film and thus game, in the original trilogy, not the third as you've stated.

 

Eswat:Need to drop the ST Robocop comparison, as it reads like a load of old bollox

 

Double Dragon:you recommend folks try the alternative version by Ocean..you could of mentioned how rare the game is in physical form, went for over £400 on EBay,  so folks will need to find a dump for it online. 

 

Graphics on it aren't wonderful, chunky sprites and medicore backgrounds.

 

Plays better than the Melbourne House version, but when YOU played it, you must have noticed the naff collision detection, poor animation,  limited opponents,  difficulty spikes, limited moves etc, right?

 

 

 

Batman The Movie:Bit pointless going on about it being the third Batman game by Ocean, as the isometric game never saw a release on the C64 (see this is why generic review text is a bad move)

 

 

Volume 2:

 

Alien Syndrome's slow scrolling hampers gameplay, as you can't escape enemies 

 

 

BMX Sim:Isn't a Bug-Infested mess, so YES, it is better than C64 Super Sprint.

 

Commando:Graphics are a glitch-fest, you must have noticed the disappearing sprites when you played it?

 

#reason it only has 3 levels? Chris Butler didn't use any form.of Data Compression. 

 

Dan Dare:Yeah..the tales from my childhood stuff, time and a place and all that, but you could of used that space to explain C64 version differs from ZX Spectrum version. 

 

Eliminator:Backstory completely wrong, but we covered that in the ST A-Z (again, using generic text, silly boy)

 

Elktraglide:Again when you played it, you honestly failed to notice the music reacts differently to the A8 version? 

 

Won't hold you up.

 

 

That book won't rewrite itself.

 

Edited by Lost Dragon
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This seems fairly definitive. I took the list from the Ocean book by Chris Wilkins and Roger Kean

(which had a lot missing) and added the ones I know specifically for the C64, Amiga and ones I have heard of for the Speccy that seemed to be missing ?

 

A Fi$tful of Buck$ ('85)
Android 2 ('83)
Armageddon ('83)
Army Moves ('87)

A-Train ('92)

Bangers and Mash ('84)
Basket Master ('87 - Under 'Imagine')
 
Battle Command('91)
Beach Volley ('89)
 

Billy The Kid ('91)

Burning Rubber ('93)

Caterpilla ('83 ?)
Central Intelligence ('94) 
 
Chinese Juggler ('84)
 
Combat School / Boot Camp ('87)

Cosmic Cruiser: Galacto Honoris ('84, possibly a Imagine original?)

 
Cosmic Wartoad ('85)
Digger Dan ('83)
 
Double Take ('87)

Eco ('87)

 

Elf ('91) 

EF2000 ('95)
Epic ('92)
Eskimo Eddie ('84)
Flash Point ('87) 
Flyer Fox ('84)
Frenzy ('83)
G.U.T.Z. ('88)
Galaxy Invaders ('83) 
Game Over ('87)
Gift From The Gods ('84)
 
Gilligan's Gold ('84)
Head Over Heels (87 +)
High Noon ('84)
 
Hopper ('83) Ocean book?
Hyper Active ('88)
 
 
Inferno ('94)
International Match Day ('85)
Island of Death ('83 ?)

Ivanhoe ('90)

I-War (PC '97)

 
Jonny and the Jumpies ('84)
Jungle Strike ('94)
Kid Chaos ('94)
 
Kong ('83)
 
Kong Strikes Back! ('85)
Lost Patrol('90) 
 
Madballs ('87)
 
Mailstrom ('86)
Match Day ('84)
Match Day 2 ('87)
 
 
Mighty Max ('94)
Moon Alert  ('84)
Movie ('87)
 
Mr. Nuts ('93)
Mr. Nutz: Hoppin' Mad ('94)
Mutants ('87)
Nightmare Rally ('86) 

N.o.m.a.d ('85) 

One Step Beyond ('93)

Parallax ('86)
Phantom Club ('88)
Ping Pong ('86)
Pogo ('83)
Pud Pud  ('85)
Pushover ('92) 
Quondam ('89)
RoboSport ('92)
Rollerball ('83)

Sea Legends ?

 

Shut-It ?

Simearth ('92)

Simant ('92)

Sleepwalker ('93)

Starace ('87)
Stunt Bike ('84)
Super Bowl XX ('86) * unsure if this is an official licence, either way it isn't a Coin-Op.

Super Soccer ('86)

Transversion ('84)

Voyager ('89)

Where Time Stood Still ('88)

Wild Wheels ('90)

Wizkid ('92)

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On 4/15/2020 at 10:31 AM, Mr.T said:

It’s about time new mirrors or updates videos were put up from the original posts. The claims that got the originals taken down can no longer be valid, and some stat up whilst others have gone down. The ‘Beware of Lairds lies’ video has no current active mirror, despite the sequel still being live on YouTube. If the original poster is here, we’d appreciate if it could be put back up or revised to get it back on YouTube:

 

https://www.bitchute.com/video/Vr0l6QuKry2M/

The claim only affected UK viewers. Those who are in other countries can still view the original just fine on YouTube. I agree that it needs to be mirrored. Unfortunately, I just spent 20 hours on an airplane yesterday and will spent about 7 more hours on one tomorrow, so dealing with that video is something I just don't have time for right now. The "Beware of Laird's Lies" video is essentially public domain, though. If anyone else wants to mirror the video, many of us would be eternally grateful. In fact, the more, the merrier! He can't play whack-a-mole with it if it keeps popping up all over YouTube, so anyone out there who wants to join in the fun and upload another mirror of it on YouTube, have at it!

 

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3 hours ago, Lost Dragon said:

Empire Strikes Back:It's the second film and thus game, in the original trilogy, not the third as you've stated.

Accidentally or intentionally here, Kieran is correct. Empire Strikes Back WAS the third Star Wars game to be released. The conversion kit to turn a Star Wars machine into ESB (it was never released as a standalone cabinet) came out in 1984 after the Return of the Jedi arcade (1983).

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40 minutes ago, Mayhem said:

Accidentally or intentionally here, Kieran is correct. Empire Strikes Back WAS the third Star Wars game to be released. The conversion kit to turn a Star Wars machine into ESB (it was never released as a standalone cabinet) came out in 1984 after the Return of the Jedi arcade (1983).

Game, I give you, the conversion kit came out  later, but film wise,he's off.

 

Here's Kierens comment in all the books that feature Empire:

 

The Empire Strikes Back is not just the third film in the original Star Wars trilogy.

 

 

:-)) So he's STILL got to rework the review for his C64 Compedium 

 

But good spot Mayhem, keeps us on our toes 

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4 hours ago, ∞ Vince ∞ said:

 

This seems fairly definitive. I took the list from the Ocean book by Chris Wilkins and Roger Kean

(which had a lot missing) and added the ones I know specifically for the C64, Amiga and ones I have heard of for the Speccy that seemed to be missing ?

 

A Fi$tful of Buck$ ('85)
Android 2 ('83)
Armageddon ('83)
Army Moves ('87)

A-Train ('92)

Bangers and Mash ('84)
Basket Master ('87 - Under 'Imagine')
 
Battle Command('91)
Beach Volley ('89)
 

Billy The Kid ('91)

Burning Rubber ('93)

Caterpilla ('83 ?)
Central Intelligence ('94) 
 
Chinese Juggler ('84)
 
Combat School / Boot Camp ('87)

Cosmic Cruiser: Galacto Honoris ('84, possibly a Imagine original?)

 
Cosmic Wartoad ('85)
Digger Dan ('83)
 
Double Take ('87)

Eco ('87)

 

Elf ('91) 

EF2000 ('95)
Epic ('92)
Eskimo Eddie ('84)
Flash Point ('87) 
Flyer Fox ('84)
Frenzy ('83)
G.U.T.Z. ('88)
Galaxy Invaders ('83) 
Game Over ('87)
Gift From The Gods ('84)
 
Gilligan's Gold ('84)
Head Over Heels (87 +)
High Noon ('84)
 
Hopper ?
Hyper Active ('88)
 
 
Inferno ('94)
 
Island of Death ('83?)

Ivanhoe ('90)

I-War (PC '97)

 
Jonny and the Jumpies ('84)
Jungle Strike ('94)
Kid Chaos ('94)
 
Kong ('83)
 
Kong Strikes Back! ('85)
Lost Patrol('90) 
 
Madballs ('87)
 
Mailstrom ('86)
Match Day ('84)
Match Day 2 ('87)
 
 
Mighty Max ('94)
Moon Alert  ('84)
Movie (?)
 
Mr. Nuts ('93)
Mr. Nutz: Hoppin' Mad ('94)
Mutants ('87)
Nightmare Rally ('86) 

N.o.m.a.d ('85) 

One Step Beyond ('93)

Parallax ('86)
Phantom Club ('88)
Ping Pong ('86)
Pogo ('83)
Pud Pud  ('85)
Pushover ('92) 
Quondam ('89)
RoboSport ('92)
Rollerball ('83)

Sea Legends ?

 

Shut-It ?

Simearth ('92)

Simant ('92)

Sleepwalker ('93)

Starace ('87)
Stunt Bike ('84)
Super Bowl XX ('86) * unsure if this is an official licence, either way it isn't a Coin-Op.
Super Soccer ('86)

Voyager ('94)

Where Time Stood Still ('88)

Wild Wheels ('90)

Wizkid ('92)

Voyager was '89 so another to add to original titles Ocean released, was ST and Amiga

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18 minutes ago, Galahad said:

Voyager was '89 so another to add to original titles Ocean released, was ST and Amiga

I stand corrected, Galahad, but it still being another of Kieren's non existent non licenced games...

 

Had he put 'Ocean were synonymous for games based on licences from Arcades, Film and Television' or something he might have a point, but I heard that myth a long time ago when I had a stack of Oceans that were highly original and much the better for it in some cases.

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3 minutes ago, ∞ Vince ∞ said:

I stand corrected, Galahad, but it still being another of Kieren's non existent non licenced games...

 

Had he put 'Ocean were synonymous for games based on licences from Arcades, Film and Television' or something he might have a point, but I heard that myth a long time ago when I had a stack of Oceans that were highly original and much the better for it in some cases.

Oh sure, I just wanted to add more depth to your info just to show how much Kieren really hasn't got a clue what he is talking about.

 

As i've said before, I suspect that Kieren had only a passing interest in Atari ST's and the like, he picked the Atari line of machines, thinking he could be "Mr.Atari" and thus cultivate a "brand" on Youtube, a niche, but that has all long since been slain.

 

Shame that!! ;)

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Yep, his work is sloppy and full of shit.

 

We get it. We have enough examples.

 

But that isn't really the problem, its the fact that he's a festering, fib-telling, manipulative, destructive, invasive, sack of shit that is the issue.

 

Cluttering the thread with mindless nit-picking that anyone who comes to this thread will just see as petty and pointless is just watering this down (IMHO)

 

If he's re-writing (lol, re!) his books (lol, books!) then him find and pay for his own editor.  Maybe Sam will help him?

 

I'd personally like to see this split into two threads:

1. Kieren Hawken - Manipulation, lies and destruction - the hard evidence and facts.

2. Kieren Hawken - his work is shite, look at these examples.

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14 minutes ago, CyranoJ said:

Yep, his work is sloppy and full of shit.

 

We get it. We have enough examples.

 

But that isn't really the problem, its the fact that he's a festering, fib-telling, manipulative, destructive, invasive, sack of shit that is the issue.

 

Cluttering the thread with mindless nit-picking that anyone who comes to this thread will just see as petty and pointless is just watering this down (IMHO)

Well...

I personally can only speak of my own experiences and viewpoint. I have said enough about personal interactions.

 

I have no insight into the Horacegate and other new stuff he has been up to, so I won't be talking about that.

 

I made a point about this before, how it all comes down not to what he has done creatively but the way he reacts out of all proportion to those who have pointed these errors in the stuff he's produced, out to him.

 

The way he then goes about bullying and actively stalking people over it. That is key. But it can't be untangled from the 'books' when his first reaction is to go nuclear when someone decides to give him anything less than a glowing review.

 

A user here said very much what you have said, directly to me, but then promptly started posting about the very thing he had castigated me for posting about, dissecting the 'work'.

 

Someone rightly pointed out at one point that everyone has an opinion and a different perspective and a right to say what they want to about Kieren.

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I don't know what you want from this thread, Lawrence, but you have to take into consideration that there are a whole bunch of people posting here. It isn't just two or three people and everyone has something they want to say.

Trying to separate Kieren Hawken and his various activities into two neatly stacked piles seems like a bit of a stretch to me.

 

I personally don't like the 1 million and 1 quotes from his various twitter socks. I get it, he's a devious duplicitous cunt but I also appreciate others want to post that stuff as well...

Good luck with squaring the circle.

Clipboard01.jpg

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16 minutes ago, ∞ Vince ∞ said:

I don't know what you want from this thread, Lawrence, but you have to take into consideration that there are a whole bunch of people posting here. It isn't just two or three people and everyone has something they want to say.

Trying to separate Kieren Hawken and his various activities into two neatly stacked piles seems like a bit of a stretch to me.

 

I personally don't like the 1 million and 1 quotes from his various twitter socks. I get it, he's a devious duplicitous cunt but I also appreciate others want to post that stuff as well...

Good luck with squaring the circle.

Clipboard01.jpg

There is a massive difference between pointing out him manipulating people and causing trouble and strife....

 

... and editing his work correcting spelling mistakes.

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Just now, CyranoJ said:

There is a massive difference between pointing out him manipulating people and causing trouble and strife....

 

... and editing his work correcting spelling mistakes.

I don't see it, this massive gulf. His own personal ego, his hubris fuels all he does. To dissect the 'work' is to hit him where it hurts, because he is so very proud of it all. He thinks he is this and people are bursting the balloon of self myth.

 

Someone reviews his book, he jumps all over that person. Is that not his causing trouble and strife?

 

When Chris Wilkins told him they were looking for a higher level writer and he goes batshit and creates new socks to back up his ripping the hell out of Chris or others on social media in groups he runs ? 

 

A lot of his fucked up behaviour is triggered by people's reactions to his 'work'. 

The Poppy account, it all boils down to him being jealous of more successful more creative people than him. This jealousy is fuelling his hate campaigns. Why do you think he hates Reboot so much ?

Doing things he could only dream of.

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5 hours ago, Sauron said:

The claim only affected UK viewers. Those who are in other countries can still view the original just fine on YouTube. I agree that it needs to be mirrored. 

What about it going up on dailymotion? Not sure of the rules but I've def seen stuff taken down by copyright strikes over on YT appear and remain on there.

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47 minutes ago, ∞ Vince ∞ said:

What about it going up on dailymotion? Not sure of the rules but I've def seen stuff taken down by copyright strikes over on YT appear and remain on there.

It could, but it's already up on Bitchute, which also means it won't be taken down. Like I said though, it would be nice if other people mirrored the video, especially on Youtube, which is where it's going to by far draw the most views.

 

 

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43 minutes ago, Sauron said:

It could, but it's already up on Bitchute, which also means it won't be taken down. Like I said though, it would be nice if other people mirrored the video, especially on Youtube, which is where it's going to by far draw the most views.

 

 

The bitchute video appears to be broken too though, at least for me. No-one can mirror if we can’t grab it, that’s the issue - I can’t find any working link of that video.

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Those of you who read my post showing my genuine review of Kieren's Arcade A-Z might be interested to see that I have had a reply. I subsequently added my own retort to his reply. . .kizzy.thumb.jpg.d8e8d64e5b137e304d19b734025cb60d.jpg

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3 hours ago, Mr.T said:

The bitchute video appears to be broken too though, at least for me. No-one can mirror if we can’t grab it, that’s the issue - I can’t find any working link of that video.

I'm not entirely sure what everyone is meaning by mirroring. When I mirror websites I basically make a full backup and store it at a different location.

 

But most of us downloaded the original a couple of months back when it went up, so what's the problem, just upload it again ?

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Wait..Shaun Mcclure is Amazon.co.uk reviewer Dpaint? 

 

Yet didn't Kieren make a big deal on Amazon.co.uk about pointing our Simon Butler real identity behind  Landstalker account, when Simon left an honest and open review himself? 

 

Has Amazon itself been made aware of this and has it been made clear in the replies section what's going on here?

 

 

Kieren wrote the forward on a revised edition of one of Shaun's fantastic books.

 

Something very rum here,very rum indeed.

 

You can't reveal the identity of Simon, just because he left a low scoring review and keep stum about Shaun,  that's an abuse of the entire review system.

 

 

They have a professional working relationship and the whole thing smacks of you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours by each leaving the others books good reviews. 

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On 4/15/2020 at 4:05 PM, Landstalker said:

Could there not be a website dedicated to this topic, containing all materials so that it stays up to date?

It looks like the thread has seen the expected influx of new faces and personal testimonials about Kieren's behaviour both online and in person at Retro Events.

 

The horrors of Horacegate drew a lot of voices here that had previously been absent when it was just the Atari community trying to contain Kieren as NOBODY at that point knew the full extent to which Kieren had gone.

 

 

Now the shockwaves have settled somewhat and Kieren's YT channel has been reset, we seem to be left with the following aspects:

 

 

1.The ongoing sockpuppet fiasco.

 

Which to be blunt is going in circles, unless someone can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt it is Kieren, he's simply going to keep using them to comment on this thread and play the tee hee it's not me game,over and over.

 

2.The issue of Kieren's writing ability.

 

Sam Dyer issued a statement saying he had no issues with the quality of the work Kieren submitted for the upcoming 2600/7800 compedium book, yet will not be detailing what Kieren wrote or how much there is of it.

 

On the flipside, Chris Wilkins statement made clear not only was Kieren's Thalamus work below the standard expected,Kieren was the only person who wanted paying for said work.

 

So it's understandable people are going to highlight just how poor Kieren's work is,as a warning to others thinking of using him.

 

We will know nothing on his latest work, until Sam's book is out.

 

But given the examples shown in his own publications, scripts for Guru Larry,  articles for RetroGamer magazine, guest articles for Ashens etc, you can hardly blame anyone for questioning what exactly he's written for Sam.

 

3.The ongoing Amazon review affair.

 

Kieren has successfully had negative reviews pulled and clearly wants current ones removed.

 

He's keen to highlight the indenty of others when it suits, hide them when it doesn't. 

 

Amazon are clearly going to do nothing about the Retro Girl account,  so this thread is acting as a counter to that.

 

This entire thread was created to highlight the fact Kieren wanted a video which judged one of his publications by his own standards and critiscms of page formatting, factual inaccuracies and poor grammar and punctuation. 

 

 

It rapidly morphed into a far bigger and harder hitting Creature...events happened at a very rapid pace and have since settled down.

 

We highlight Kierens's dire research-we effectively proof read for free for him.

 

 

We share some Atari information or enter a discussion and share some lesser known information.. 

we effectively research for him.

 

 

It is extremely infuriating 

 

 

The problem with Kieren is it's like fighting a Hydra. 

 

 

The Beast simply has so many heads, cut off one and 2 more spring up.

 

 

Today alone has seen a new revelation regarding the indenty of one of his high scoring reviewers.

 

Some want seperate threads..

 

Others a website.

 

Some willing to forgive Kieren if he simply apologises others want him gone for good.

 

 

There is no single solution.

 

And the harsh reality is that unless the talk of legal proceedings against Kieren pans out.

 

 

Nothing is going to be resolved long-term. 

 

 

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I've been staying away from this topic as I had nothing more to add, frankly I find it upsetting, as I'm sure most people here do and whilst I understand the anger and frustration, I don't feel that criticizing the quality of someone's writing or grammar or making memes is why I posted here in the first place. I agree that some of the stuff he has written is clearly factually wrong, which sets my pedantic metre off (Tom and Jerry chips in the Lynx?!), and the spelling and grammatical errors are not great for books that are being charged for, but none of that is worth publicly chastising or shaming someone over in my opinion. The truly serious stuff that he is being accused of is the targeted harassment and abuse coming from sock puppet accounts, things like Horracegate, trying to ruin people's careers, damage their mental health, attack their personal and professional relationships. Those to me are the serious alleged crimes here and though I understand people wanting to comment on Kieren's professional output, I have no need or urge to join in with that, and I might suggest that if people feel there is a potential criminal case here, that correcting spelling and such is just obfuscating the more serious matters at hand.

 

I really only posted to this topic in the first place for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I was just posting to try to give some context, attempting to defend my IRL friends (several of whom are now thankfully regularly posting here and can stand up for themselves), including but not limited to Sarah, Hannah, Kim and Larry, all of whom I can comfortably say are some of the most lovely and genuine friends I've had. I just want things to go back to the state where everyone can be peaceful, happy, calm, and just return to having fun sharing memories about old games we all love. I cannot speak more highly of the integrity of any of those guys, I adore them all and they have all shown me great kindness over the years. I'm glad to see Kim posting in here to clear up the screenshot issue, and can 100% vouch for her as kind, selfless and honest to a fault.

 

Whilst I genuinely didn't plan on posting again, I was alerted to this, where Kieren named me directly:

Quote

Before I go I just wanted to add something, can you please pass the following on to Sam (PixelsLtd) as I read some of his words and they upset me a bit - Sam, I very much thought of you as a friend and still do, I can say without any question that you are one of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever met in the retro scene. I very much enjoyed our chats and rest assured that none of the personal information you told me went any further and never will. I truly hope you are well and will comeback into the scene one day as your talents are very much missed.

Working in the entertainment industry as I do, its usually best not to comment on any controversies publicly, and my first instinct in all this was to just stay quiet and defend my friends offline and out of the public eye. But the second, and frankly deciding reason that I chose, against my instincts, to post publicly, was because I knew that Kieren would be likely to see, as it seems he is monitoring this stuff very closely. So, if I may just reply personally to him here:

 

Kieren. Thank you for your kind words. I genuinely really do appreciate them and am glad that you feel that way about me. I always try and be kind, fair, understanding and honest. I have never wanted anything more in this little retro world than to make friends and chat about mutual interests with nice people. You know some of the issues and worries I have had, and I expect you can understand why all this online drama over various things for over a year now has made it hard for me to feel safe or inclined to come back and post. I will do eventually I'm sure, I have recorded many videos and collaborated with many wonderful people on them, so I can't let those go unpublished. It just doesn't feel like the right time quite yet. In my reply to your 15 page statement, I hope you noticed that I fully gave you the benefit of the doubt in suggesting that if you have evidence that can prove your innocence of charges lobbied at you, you should make it very open and clear your name. I never once threw you under the bus or said I fully believed it, just that it looked pretty bad, which you must admit that it does. You know where my closest friendship and loyalty lies, and you know where you overstepped the mark in your statement with a misleading half truth that seemed spiteful in intent, and why I as a loyal friend would be upset and feel duty bound to step in. I hope you don't blame me for this or feel that I have been disloyal to you, if you truly consider me a friend. As I clearly stated several times, I did consider you a friend and enjoyed our chats both online and in person. I have continually tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. And even if you are guilty of everything you are accused of (which, if you cannot prove it other than vaguely telling people to search twitter, sadly, seems likely), like others here who are my good friends, I will once again reiterate that I wish you no ill will, and urge you to apologise, take some time offline and concentrate on your family, and get some counselling or support to work through why or how it ever got to this point. Stewing and plotting and obsessively monitoring all this is not healthy and will just lead to more troubles. I stated before that even despite all this and how bad it looks, if I bumped into you I'd still buy you a pint and have a chat. Whether you are guilty or not guilty either way I want you to get better and come through this, for the sake of your kids. I just want all the negativity and toxicity to end. Again, thank you for your kind words about me, and I'm sorry if my messages upset you, that was never the intention, hopefully its always been clear that I'm coming from the position of worrying about everybody, and wanting to help everyone, including you. Whoever is responsible for all this (and if you can prove its not you as you said, then do yourself a favour and prove it, otherwise literally no-one will believe you)... this needs to stop.

 

To anyone reading the above who is triggered or upset by my kind, forgiving or understanding tone, please try and resist the urge to correct or chastise me and understand its just how I am, I can't bring myself to hate anyone no matter what they do. I'm the kind of person who when I am robbed I feel sorry for the robber as something in their life must be really bad to have gotten them to that point and they probably need the money more than I do. I have made it clear that from what I have seen and read, it looks like Kieren is guilty of some or all of the accusations, I know for a fact that certain things he has publicly said in his own name were both untrue, and extremely hurtful and damaging to one of my best friends, seemingly designed to be so, and for this I am very upset, and I have told him in no uncertain terms to stop, and get help. I think that's as fair as I can be. We all deal with situations in our own ways, and as both a mental health advocate and also someone who has dealt with several strong issues of his own, and has coached many family and friends through a variety of similar conditions and issues, its my instinct to feel sad and want to help, rather than to feel angry and want to chastise. I apologise if anyone feels that my attitude in anyway lessens their own personal pain, anger, or experience of this situation, that is not my intention, I respect your experience and reaction to this situation, please do the same to mine. Thank you in advance.

Edited by PixelsLtd
Clarity
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