Top 10 Worst Games on the 2600 (In my Opinion)

[Magmavision2000]

6 hours ago, Atariperson23 said:

Everyone, here's the worst arcade port in all the 2600 arcade ports (which was a lot) Coleco produced a lot of trash for the 2600, but Donkey Kong is on a new level. Donkey Kong? Gingerbread man. Levels? 2. Paulina? Yellow-headed and wearing a blue dress with white sleeves. Considering Garry Kitchen (who cooked up Pressure Cooker) made this, this makes Donkey Kong frustrating and disappointing, especially considering the publicity surrounding the arcade port in 1982. Yes, I know they couldn't have done a perfect port, but this feels like Coleco was just lazy.

Coleco (supposedly) made the 2600 and Intellivision ports purposely bad so they could promote the Colecovision, I personally don't think it's a bad port, but there's a reason why it's "bad".

[+KaeruYojimbo]

19 minutes ago, Magmavision2000 said:

Coleco (supposedly) made the 2600 and Intellivision ports purposely bad so they could promote the Colecovision

That's been pretty thoroughly debunked.

[Magmavision2000]

44 minutes ago, KaeruYojimbo said:

That's been pretty thoroughly debunked.

Oh ok. So it's just a poor quality port with no funny business?

[Atariperson23]

1 hour ago, KaeruYojimbo said:

That's been pretty thoroughly debunked.

So Coleco actually tried? Look at Zaxxon...

[+KaeruYojimbo]

14 hours ago, Magmavision2000 said:

Oh ok. So it's just a poor quality port with no funny business?

 

14 hours ago, Atariperson23 said:

So Coleco actually tried? Look at Zaxxon...

 

"Tried" might be a bit strong. They cheaped out and limited DK to 4K and rushed development. So while Coleco didn't set out to intentionally produce bad games, they didn't exactly go all out to make the best games possible.

 

Garry Kitchen made every effort to make the best game he could under the circumstances. Donkey Kong could have been much worse if he hadn't.

 

And 2600 Zaxxon is a fun game. It isn't Zaxxon, but it's fun.

[Atariperson23]

1 minute ago, KaeruYojimbo said:

 

 

"Tried" might be a bit strong. They cheaped out and limited DK to 4K and rushed development. So while Coleco didn't set out to intentionally produce bad games, they didn't exactly go all out to make the best games possible.

 

And 2600 Zaxxon is a fun game. It isn't Zaxxon, but it's fun.

So they weren't intentionally mutilating their games, but made production costs and time more important than quality? Sounds a little like Atari...

[+KaeruYojimbo]

Carnival, Venture and Roc 'n Rope are all pretty solid ports. Mr. Do and Time Pilot aren't awful. The whole "Coleco made bad ports to make the Colecovision look better" myth revolves pretty much entirely on the Donkey Kong sprite looking like a gingerbread man.

[retrorussell]

I lump the porn games into one for one of the 10 worst.  Custer's Revenge is arguably the worst of all of them but they all deserve to swim in the same cesspool together.

 

There was a game called "Pac-Kong" that is also bash-your-head-against-the-wall bad.

 

I would include ET, and Laser Blast would at least be close to my 10 worst list.

 

Star Ship, even if it is a launch title, is pretty bad.

[Atariperson23]

Just now, retrorussell said:

I lump the porn games into one for one of the 10 worst.  Custer's Revenge is arguably the worst of all of them but they all deserve to swim in the same cesspool together.

 

There was a game called "Pac-Kong" that is also bash-your-head-against-the-wall bad.

 

I would include ET, and Laser Blast would at least be close to my 10 worst list.

 

Star Ship, even if it is a launch title, is pretty bad.

The porn games are bad, but they can't be counted as games. More like novelty items. Pac-Kong is PAL and most PAL games are so obscure they would confuse a lot of people if they were on this list. ET is rushed, but ambitious and not bad once you understand it. Laser Blast is indeed very bad, but I swapped it for Double Dragon, because Double Dragon is more disappointing. Star Ship is more like a space carnival simulator than Star Raiders, so can't blame it there. 

[Lauren Tyler]

I will say that Donkey Kong wasn't the best port, but compared to the Intellivision version, it's a lot better! At least in the Atari 2600 version, Mario looks like Mario and Pauline looks like a girl.

 

I also feel that Double Dragon could've been done a bit better, like if they had continues or at least a way to earn extra lives.

 

I agree with Karate, though, that game is so awful that it makes me want to channel my inner Angry Video Game Nerd!

[Atariperson23]

1 minute ago, Lauren Tyler said:

I will say that Donkey Kong wasn't the best port, but compared to the Intellivision version, it's a lot better! At least in the Atari 2600 version, Mario looks like Mario and Pauline looks like a girl.

 

I also feel that Double Dragon could've been done a bit better, like if they had continues or at least a way to earn extra lives.

 

I agree with Karate, though, that game is so awful that it makes me want to channel my inner Angry Video Game Nerd!

Aaargh, speak not of the Intellivision Donkey Kong... 

[Lauren Tyler]

4 minutes ago, Atariperson23 said:

Aaargh, speak not of the Intellivision Donkey Kong... 

I know I should not have, but I felt it was necessary.  Still, I regret doing so.

[Atariperson23]

10 minutes ago, Lauren Tyler said:

I know I should not have, but I felt it was necessary.  Still, I regret doing so.

Go wash your mouth out with a bar of soap to clean your mouth...

Edited April 16, 2020 by Atariperson23

[+cvga]

4 hours ago, Atariperson23 said:

Can't argue with that. What's the bottom 10 in the 2600 in your opinion? (Not trying to be argumentative, just want your take on it)

Here's my bottom 10. Apologies in advance as I'm sure I'll be mentioning someone's favorite game.

 

10. Fire Fighter - I loved the idea of getting to be a firefighter that saves people, operates a ladder, and uses a hose to put out fires. The graphics are great, the fire flickers and the person needing saved flails his arms as he keeps moving up the building. As a kid, I was sure this was going to be one of my very favorite games. Unfortunately it wasn't. It just isn't fun. Putting out the fire using water seems useless. It's much easier and faster to just use the ladder to grab the guy at the lowest possible floor. If a game isn't fun, it doesn't matter how good the graphics are.

 

9. Miner 2049er - Another game I was super excited to get as a kid. Miner also has pretty good graphics and three separate mines to conquer. So what's the problem? It plays waaaaaay to slow! Instead of playing the game it felt like I was watching the most boring slow motion replay in the world. I wanted, really wanted to like this game but it simply didn't get any playtime at my house. Just speeding it up would have made a huge difference.

 

8. Karate - As long as we're going with the slow motion theme, let's put Karate in at #8. It's slow and boring. You have to use a lot of imagination to picture two karate fighters and lots more imagination to pretend it's actually fun.

 

7. Space War - I suspect some people will disagree with Space War given that it's a port of a classic game. However, I'm not a huge fan of Combat and to me this game is it's much more boring cousin. If I'm going to play a game with the spaceship from Asteroids, then I'm going to play Asteroids!

 

6. Skeet Shoot - It's just a bad blocky game that seems to have more of a luck than skill element to it.

 

5. Racquetball - I applaud the effort to create a game that isn't a clone of other games. The concept is fine but it's so difficult to judge and return the ball it becomes an a game of frustration.

 

4. Space Chase - set me down on the most boring planet you can find, with the most boring spaceship you can find, fighting the most boring invaders you can find and you'll find Space Chase. I literally fell asleep typing that one sentence review.

 

3. SwordQuest - AnyWorld - Ugh! Maybe it was just beyond the Atari's capability, maybe it was a cash grab, maybe they should have ended it before they released EarthWorld, certainly right afterward but they didn't. Play the games, solve mysteries, win prizes. What's not to like? The answer is Earth, Fire and Water. AirWorld is definitely my favorite of the series and that's because they didn't release it.

 

2. FireFly, Sorcerer, Star Fox - I couldn't pick just one as they all feel like the same game to me. I'm not sure what's going on nor do I care in any of the versions. Their only redeeming quality is that Mythicon knew they were crap and priced them that way right out of the gate.

 

1. Sssnake - Sssnake sssucks

[+thanatos]

4 hours ago, BydoEmpire said:

I'd personally add Airlock.  That's my personal Worst 2600 game.  Obviously everyone has different opinions, that's okay.

 

Interesting!  I loved playing that game back in the day.  The "to each his own" theory stands I guess.

 

My personal worst would just be Pac-Man.  Not that we didn't enjoy playing, but getting it for Christmas, and seeing it was not even close to the real arcade was disappointing.

 

 

 

 

[Atariperson23]

6 minutes ago, cvga said:

Here's my bottom 10. Apologies in advance as I'm sure I'll be mentioning someone's favorite game.

 

10. Fire Fighter - I loved the idea of getting to be a firefighter that saves people, operates a ladder, and uses a hose to put out fires. The graphics are great, the fire flickers and the person needing saved flails his arms as he keeps moving up the building. As a kid, I was sure this was going to be one of my very favorite games. Unfortunately it wasn't. It just isn't fun. Putting out the fire using water seems useless. It's much easier and faster to just use the ladder to grab the guy at the lowest possible floor. If a game isn't fun, it doesn't matter how good the graphics are.

 

9. Miner 2049er - Another game I was super excited to get as a kid. Miner also has pretty good graphics and three separate mines to conquer. So what's the problem? It plays waaaaaay to slow! Instead of playing the game it felt like I was watching the most boring slow motion replay in the world. I wanted, really wanted to like this game but it simply didn't get any playtime at my house. Just speeding it up would have made a huge difference.

 

8. Karate - As long as we're going with the slow motion theme, let's put Karate in at #8. It's slow and boring. You have to use a lot of imagination to picture two karate fighters and lots more imagination to pretend it's actually fun.

 

7. Space War - I suspect some people will disagree with Space War given that it's a port of a classic game. However, I'm not a huge fan of Combat and to me this game is it's much more boring cousin. If I'm going to play a game with the spaceship from Asteroids, then I'm going to play Asteroids!

 

6. Skeet Shoot - It's just a bad blocky game that seems to have more of a luck than skill element to it.

 

5. Racquetball - I applaud the effort to create a game that isn't a clone of other games. The concept is fine but it's so difficult to judge and return the ball it becomes an a game of frustration.

 

4. Space Chase - set me down on the most boring planet you can find, with the most boring spaceship you can find, fighting the most boring invaders you can find and you'll find Space Chase. I literally fell asleep typing that one sentence review.

 

3. SwordQuest - AnyWorld - Ugh! Maybe it was just beyond the Atari's capability, maybe it was a cash grab, maybe they should have ended it before they released EarthWorld, certainly right afterward but they didn't. Play the games, solve mysteries, win prizes. What's not to like? The answer is Earth, Fire and Water. AirWorld is definitely my favorite of the series and that's because they didn't release it.

 

2. FireFly, Sorcerer, Star Fox - I couldn't pick just one as they all feel like the same game to me. I'm not sure what's going on nor do I care in any of the versions. Their only redeeming quality is that Mythicon knew they were crap and priced them that way right out of the gate.

 

1. Sssnake - Sssnake sssucks

I agree with you. Sssnake should go into the Ssshreder for being Ssslopy and Ssscrapy. Ssseriously, it's so Ssslimy and Ssshoddy that it'd be an sssevere understatement to call it sssecond-rate. Ooh, I think I over-indulged on the Sssjokes. Anyways, I wonder who programmed this Sssadistic game?

Edited April 16, 2020 by Atariperson23

[high voltage]

RAM was expensive in those days, wasn't it, so the programmers had to make do...things of a worse quality than you would like...

[+wongojack]

17 hours ago, Atariperson23 said:

Basic Math belongs on a Commodore 64, not an Atari 2600 IMO.

 

Well yeah, but of course the C64 didn't exist when Basic Math was released.  Neither did the Atari 400 or the Vic 20 for that matter.  Perhaps a saavy '70s parent might build a "kit computer" for their child to run some educational software - or they could buy this cart along with the other actual games they were buying for their kid.

 

As it is, consumers sorta did neither.  The original lineup for the VCS wasn't exactly a runaway success and Basic Math was definitely not a top seller.

 

Don't get me wrong, the only way someone is going to "play" Basic Math is if they are forced, but saying it is boring just doesn't work for me.  I'd offer that the biggest criticism might be the controls.  It is perfectly suited for the keypad controller or the kids controller (which of course didn't exist).  Perhaps if someone had simply held the game for a better interface that would have been wise.

[Atariperson23]

26 minutes ago, wongojack said:

Well yeah, but of course the C64 didn't exist when Basic Math was released.  Neither did the Atari 400 or the Vic 20 for that matter.  Perhaps a saavy '70s parent might build a "kit computer" for their child to run some educational software - or they could buy this cart along with the other actual games they were buying for their kid.

 

As it is, consumers sorta did neither.  The original lineup for the VCS wasn't exactly a runaway success and Basic Math was definitely not a top seller.

 

Don't get me wrong, the only way someone is going to "play" Basic Math is if they are forced, but saying it is boring just doesn't work for me.  I'd offer that the biggest criticism might be the controls.  It is perfectly suited for the keypad controller or the kids controller (which of course didn't exist).  Perhaps if someone had simply held the game for a better interface that would have been wise.

Alright, but the gameplay could be improved. Just answering ten questions with slight changes in difficulty isn't going to fulfill a (I confess) video addict like me. If you're going to make a math game, make something like a Pac-Man type game where you don't have to solve math until you get touched by the ghosts. If you get touched, you have to answer a math question or lose a life. (Just my idea)

[edladdin]

Basic Math is not a game.  Its educational software.  It was MEANT to be arithmetic flash cards for practice and skill building.

 

Condemning Basic Math for being a terrible game is like condemning Excel for being the most boring game on your laptop.

Or criticizing a fish for being terrible at tree climbing.

[InfoMan]

I really liked Donkey Kong. And Basic Math wasn't a game, but I found it helpful as a kid.

[zzip]

19 hours ago, orange808 said:

Donkey Kong is an amazing technical achievement and proof that Kitchen is a genius.

At least Mario looks like Mario.   I could only imagine what a Donkey Kong port by Todd Frye would be like...

[zzip]

17 hours ago, Magmavision2000 said:

Coleco (supposedly) made the 2600 and Intellivision ports purposely bad so they could promote the Colecovision, I personally don't think it's a bad port, but there's a reason why it's "bad".

This is what we all assumed BITD, but then I read what Kitchen went through.  It isn't an easy game for the 2600 hardware.  I've yet to see a homebrew effort that's better in 8K or less

 

15 hours ago, Atariperson23 said:

So Coleco actually tried? Look at Zaxxon...

Zaxxon is another game not suited to the 2600 hardware.   It had the same perspective as Crystal Castle, and even Atari had to change the perspective to port Crystal Castle to the 2600.

[zzip]

14 hours ago, Atariperson23 said:

7. Space War - I suspect some people will disagree with Space War given that it's a port of a classic game. However, I'm not a huge fan of Combat and to me this game is it's much more boring cousin. If I'm going to play a game with the spaceship from Asteroids, then I'm going to play Asteroids!

I prefer Space War to Combat because of having the gravity of the sun in the middle.   But both were pretty boring!

 

15 hours ago, cvga said:

AirWorld is definitely my favorite of the series and that's because they didn't release it.

?

 

[+GoldLeader]

When mentioning Combat and Space War, I think back to the absolute roots of Atari as these were my first 2 games ever, so bad though they may be,  I will always have a soft spot for them.

 

Now perhaps even more strange, some years back, but still within the last decade, I had some friends over, (One of whom always played the latest, modern games) and they insisted we play some Combat (Especially Tank Pong!) and we followed it up with Space War and, now maybe this was the beer talking, but we had a blast!  I'd probably consider them to be boring too, if that hadn't happened...

 

I now think that maybe it's just a matter of setting aside some preconceived notions, or maybe lowering your expectations, or the idea that you need (at least) 2 players,...And...In the right mindset, and with friends over,  Both games are pretty fun.