Good afternoon and welcome to Imperial Mondays.

Remember how last week I said my plans ended in disaster? Well, I bought a kerosene lamp on eBay and it also ended in disaster.

I was looking for a certain kind; the type with a round wick and a shade, most commonly made under the name "Rayo". I bought one and when it arrived, the parts didn't fit together and it didn't seem to work like it was supposed to (the wick-raiser was missing, there were hacksaw marks, etc.) so I took it to an expert. Apparently I had spent $135 on a Frankenstein-abomination of a "lamp" that was parts from four different lamps put together. I could not see this from the pictures.

I complained, of course, and received a prompt refund. Thank God the seller offers free returns. They may have tried to make a quick buck off of an unsuspecting sucker, but at least they have somewhat good business ethics.

I used the money to buy a pocket watch which I hope I can use everyday (they said it keeps good time), so wish me luck that this situation doesn't end up like the last two. I've had enough disaster for a month. Did I mention how much I hate shopping online? ... No? ... I hate shopping online.

And I'm sad that a lot of antique stores are going out of business because of online shopping. Yesterday I stopped at one and gave them business, for good measure, by buying a working, pre-1919 GE light bulb. I thought I'd present it to my mom as she worked for GE in the 80's. The featured photograph is of the bulb aglow, and also, attached is a picture of it turned off. Thought you people might be interested.

I'll probably only turn it on one more time in my entire life. The fact that it works boosts its value by 500% - have you seen those eBay prices? Sheesh. And I paid less for it than the cost of the reproductions at Home Depot.

So I guess that's it for this week. Be nice to reptiles for me - no running over snakes in the road, OK?