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HOTEL BUNNY for the Mattel Intellivision - NOW AVAILABLE!


Rev

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How about collectable out-of-print cereals?

 

How about a health box of "A sweetened cereal with artificial maple syrup flavor"? Go back and read that line again. Read it a third time and let it sink in.

 

I had Waffelos as a child. The flashy TV ads convinced my brother and I to beg our mom to buy them. She hated sugar cereals but after a few weeks she capitulated this one time. My brother and I opened the box with excitement as we studied the back for the Waffeloville buildings prizes. The pieces clinked against the bowl and swirled when doused with milk. We nodded our heads at each other and yummed at the first bite. The second bite was good. We talked about how cool our mom was to get the for us. The third bite was so-so. We discussed the cartoon ads and debated who got the decal inside. The fourth bite was worse.

 

Something was wrong.

 

My youthful brain then experienced for the first time what I now know to call "cognitive dissonance". How could such a cool looking cereal taste so horrible? My brother and I continued talking as if the cereal was still awesome, still unwilling to accept what our own tongues told us. In spite of my brother's words, the disappointment in his eyes spoke louder. I knew my eyes betrayed the same message back. The squares were as floppy as baked celery. The milk turned to a thick, brown, pea soup consistency that we prodded with our spoons. We choked down our flavorless gruel to the torturous last spoonful with fake smiles out of fear that mother would find out.

 

While we did discuss it privately, it was some time before we could admit the disgustingness of Waffelos to mom. However, my brother and I could still not accept that it was a bad cereal. No, it had to be a dud box, a manufacturing defect. We begged her to buy another box. The next box would fix everything.

 

We were wrong.

 

Unlike the cereal pieces resting in a staged bowl of Elmer's glue in the box art, the next box's cereal squares disintegrated just as quickly in milk as the first. My brother and I finished the box out of duty but we never again had the same zeal for a new cereal.

 

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We had us lots of Waffelos! You have to eat them really, really fast. I think they made blueberry ones, too. Waffalo Bill rides again!

 

And... Don't forget Dinky Donuts and Donutz! I remember the Great Donut Cereal Wars of the early 80s!

 

Kix, though... Kix.... for the kids you hate! :P

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Kix, though... Kix.... for the kids you hate! :P

Actually, I loved Kix as a kid. Just add a little sugar or honey to sweeten them up. My mom limited our intake of sugar cereals (and how much sugar we could add) so Cheerios, Wheaties, Kix, Corn Flakes, etc were staples in our house. Fruit Loops, Sugar Smacks, Frosted Flakes, and similar were very rare treats.

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