Mystique is a punch-line to a bad joke that never should have been asked in the first place, that joke being “what happens when you put porn on the Atari?” This is an absolute travesty, and sadly enough there were two more punch-lines waiting in the wings, them being Universal-Gamex and Playaround. There is no way of sugarcoating these games; there are no positives that outweigh the overbearing negatives. These games are the lowest that the videogame industry has sunk, and that is quite an achie
Phillip is pain... All it feels is an endless wash of pain. Phillip waits for death patiently and quietly for it knows its death is nigh
Encounter At L-5 – Most sprites are slightly warped but you can see it most on the Data Age logo at the top right. Sounds are mostly the same with an off note here or there, nothing serious.
Bugs – Most ‘Bugs’ are intact but some are scrambled to high hell, the transition scene is unaltered. Sounds are intact with nothing seriously
This review is going to be very different than what you’re used to, instead of just reviewing a game I’m going to review and ENTIRE console. Enter the Mattel Children’s Discovery System, a drab little computer that was meant for very small children. I thinks this is one of the ugliest pieces of hardware I’ve ever laid my eyes on, its microscopic screen (16x48 Matrix LCD screen), and awful membrane keyboard make using this thing an absolute chore. Now this is actually a cartridge based computer,
Here's a forgotten classic, lost to time. Montezuma's revenge was one of the earliest platformers on the market, it had many ports to many different systems, but I'm going to focus on two ports of this game today, the one released on the ill-fated Colecovision, and the one released on the ill-fated Sega Master System. This is the first Third Generation game I've reviewed so far, but I'll still give the Colecovision a fair shot when compared to the superior SMS. First things first... these games
Pong is a game that needs no introduction whatsoever, so I won’t provide one. We’ve all played Pong since it’s either been bundled with other games, or is so freely available on the internet that I’m surprised Microsoft and Apple don’t include an advertisement filled version with the newest install of their operating systems. I won’t be looking at any modern iterations of Pong though; I’m looking much further back, further than I’ve ever gone before. 1976, the APF TV Fun Model 401 is released, a
I have what might be considered an odd fascination with old LCD handheld games; I just can’t get enough of them they’re just so weird. In today’s world of pocket computers and mobile gaming these things just seem like pointless shitty relics of a bygone era, but they’re not. Each of these games are complex works of art that work together to create a game, perhaps they’re not as complex as console or computer games of the time, but let’s face it, you’re not taking one of those on the plane or on
UHHHG! Where to start with this one… Well let’s start with a basic trigger warning, 35 years on and this game is still highly offensive, so if you have strong opinions I would recommend that you avoid this one, even though I’m going to lambast this one as much as possible, it does actually have one or two positives. Let’s begin with the company itself, Mystique, it was founded by the Caballero Control Corporation, who originally, and still do, produce pornographic films. With the emergence of th
This is going to be a comparison piece between the three most popular console ports of Q*Bert from the second generation of game consoles. We will be comparing the Atari 2600, Mattel Intellivision, and Colecovision ports of Q*Bert. Despite all being the same game there are a hefty amount of differences between the three. But the outcome of this review is not certain. since all the versions have their own strengths and weaknesses. Let's start with the graphics.
Which console has the b
This game doesn't sit right with me... I'm not a real big fan of this game in the first place. The first time I played this game was on an NES 250-in-one multicart, and something about it just rubbed me the wrong way. The 2600 version, which is the only version of Pooyan that was released for the home console market outside of Japan by the way, is far inferior to the Famicom port which is far inferior to the arcade, a winning combination if I've ever seen one. Graphics?
Ugly... It seems that
OOPS! I accidentally put this one in draft and left like that, this review originally came out July 28th 2018.
Bobby Is Going Home has go to be the most well known game from Bit Corp. This is a very strange game, both in premise and in practice, this game is a basic Pitfall! clone, it shares many aspects with Pitfall! I will go into further depth later on in the review, but let me just say these this could be the unofficial sequel to Pitfall! it's so similar. I happened upon this game on Eba
Hmm... Now here's a game that definitely would have benefited from some more powerful hardware, that's why they made versions for the Colecovision and Intellivision, unfortunately both of those versions are very expensive, the Intellivision version in particular. But we're lookin' at the Atari 2600 port of the game, which is by far the most inferior port. I am rather indifferent to this game in all honesty. It does have positives which deserve recognition and it also has negatives which need a l
Style over substance, an unfortunate vice that seems to grip many games released nowadays, as it seems all of the budget for them went to making the game look good not leaving enough for a developed plot or characters. We’ve seen this most recently with the Star Wars Battlefront games from EA, which, while being absolutely gorgeous have some of the most lackluster gameplay I’ve ever witnessed. There are games that do the opposite though, games like Stardew Valley and Terraria have very simple gr
This review is rated M for Mature…
Well, I never thought I’d be coming back here again, the Land of Pornography. But I’m here and I feel the uncontrollable urge to review something, I will of course stick to my preferred console, the 2600, but what to play? Many of the Playaround original titles haven’t seen a lot of coverage, but then again there’s a game even rarer than those, how about X-Man. This game has languished in relative obscurity for a long time remaining mostly within the Atari col
Defender... One of the hardest classic arcade games ever made, what more is there to say about it? Well.. despite not being the first side scrolling shooter ever, it was the game which popularized the genre. Seriously this was the go-to game back in the 80's, which makes sense since it was Williams best selling arcade machine, they sold over fifty five thousand of these suckers. It's also one of the highest grossing arcade games ever, and for one simple reason, it's addictive. And when you combi
Alright so I decided to just release my Ebook for free here on the forum so here ya go. It comes in EPUB and MOBI flavors for Kindle users.
101 Reviews for the Atari the Good, the Bad, and the Weird.mobi
101 Reviews for the Atari the Good, the Bad, and the Weird.epub
Time for the Intellivision! AD&D has got to be my favorite game for the Intellivision. This is one of the granddaddies of adventure games so the plot isn't too compelling. Here's the entire plot in one sentence: Three archer dudes go to the legendary Cloudy Mountain to recover the Crown of Kings from the evil Winged Dragons. It's a nice basic plot that sets you up for the game. Now if your expecting the complexity and depth of the D&D board game you will be sorely disappointed since this
This game is so weird... It takes a concept that should never be made into a game, spelling, and made it into a game.This is one of the few third party educational games for the 2600, though I would say it accomplishes neither of the criteria to be an educational game, that being educational, and fun. This game learns you nothing and is not fun to play.. So what is it!?... Say it with me!! Crap, Crap! CRAP!! Who thought this was a good Idea? Was Vidtec U.S. Games dumping ground? Was Vidtec to U.
This arcade conversion- wait... this was an arcade game? Huh... never heard of it, but if it's as decent as the 2600 version is, it must have been fairly popular... Okay, so I just looked a klov.com and this is one of the least common and/or popular arcade machines on there. Hmmm... Well it seems, for once, the port is better than the arcade game it was based on. This game was put out by CBS, who, as far as I can tell, has one of the best records in the 2600 library, no major stinkers whatsoever
We’ve all heard of the famous Commodore 64, so I won’t be going into any extraneous detail about it. But if there’s one thing many people don’t know about the C64… and that’s just how many games were released for it, my best guess puts the count near 17000 games, with more being discovered all the time, this thing is a serious gaming powerhouse. Instead of delving into the weird and the strange, I’m instead going to delve into the downright freaky with Kickman. Produced by Commodore under licens
Gyruss is one of those classic arcade games that has been lost to history. It made it's grand debut in 1983 and vanished in to relative obscurity in 1989 after the NES version was released in North America, it's been included in a plug 'n play or two, but the same thing goes for Namco's Bosconian, if anything this is Konami's Bosconian. This game is what I think the illicit love child of Galaga and Tempest would look like, and when it was released there was no follow up, no sequel, it just stop
I'm feeling lazy today, so I'm just going to review Atari's Bowling. This has got to be one of the most basic games on the 2600, both in game-play, sound, and graphics. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I find that the game gets it's message across rather well, that message being bowling. Sorry If this is a short review but there isn't much TO review... onto the graphics.
Minimal doesn't even begin to cover this... This game almost has no graphics. Two lines for the lane... ten squares
"Oh, no honey... Don't do that..." Those were the first words I uttered when I heard that Ikari Warriors was ported onto the 2600. This was one of the final games on the system, released in 1990, the death year of the system, this game was inadvisable, even back then. This game is in the same vein as many of the late release red box games... Ports of games released on the NES, games like, KLAX, Xenophobe, and Roadrunner. Games that were just too big for the 2600, this is definitely one of those
So… This Atari 800 computer was found in the basement of West High School in Madison WI. It was with 2 other 800’s, and 800X and a 520ST, there was also an Atari 820 printer, four 5 ½ inch floppy drives, and an Atari 850 interface. The 800X works as do all the floppy drives,the 520ST is not functioning due to an issue with the power button and likely something else,and two of the three 800”s are functioning as well, it is unknown if the 820 or 850 work since we have no idea how to hook them up
This rather obscure game from Imagic, despite the silly box art and silly name, is quite good. Now this is a game that couldn't be made for the Atari 2600. Only the Intellivision's beefier hardware could handle all of that horizontal scrolling, though I think it would have done well on the Colecovision as well. In this game you play as Clarence, on half of a recently shipwrecked couple who washed up on a tropical island, Doris the other half of the couple is swiftly being dragged away by the ba
What time is it? You guessed it its crappy movie tie-in time, and what disappointing movie-based game are we going to be looking at today? Krull? No… Ghostbusters? Nah! Philly Flasher?.. Hell no! Ah! Of course there can be no other than Mega Force! Who remembers Mega Force? ‘cause I don’t, this movie was a total flop at the box office barely making back a quarter of its 20 million dollar budget. It’s your standard Mad Max style post apocalyptic future with awesome vehicles and explosions everywh