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Shaggy the Atarian

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About Shaggy the Atarian

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    Video Games(mostly Atari), music, movies

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  1. I imagine that Atari would suddenly show up with an "update" where they say that "something big just happened, stay tuned!" and Fred finally gets to click "Pay" on that open browser tab showing an all-expenses paid trip to Dubai he's been eyeing for a while.
  2. Yeah, I'm aware of Google's lousy track record of supporting their hardware. Just pointing out that if a mega-corp like them can't fulfill all of their promises, then it's absurd to think that Atari, with little money and a record of lying, is going to pull that magical rabbit out of the hat where everything works/is included as promised. For the Atari VCS, we should've had headlines that read: "Game makers unable to even get a response from Atari on developing for the VCS, must be a hoax."
  3. Since the Wanker Bros. just love to compare Atari to mega-corps like Apple, let's take a look at how the multi-billion $$$ entity of Google is handling the launch of their new Stadia platform: https://phandroid.com/2019/11/14/google-stadia-will-launch-missing-many-of-its-expected-features/ But I'm sure that Atari, with just enough money to keep jetting Fred around for pointless hype appearances, definitely has the cash and brains to be able to live up to their hardware promises (where Google can't). Right?
  4. If Andy knows any dev that is actually working on the VCS, now would be a good time to inform the class
  5. It's too bad the Wanker Bros and Lucas don't stop on by here. I'd love to see them defend how they invested monetarily and emotionally into the VCS, only for the takers of their money to be focused on peddling Atari branded apparel.
  6. Sega's next gun game is none other than Mission: Impossible Arcade. Comes in a huge cabinet to compete with the likes of the Halo: Fireteam Raven super deluxe, but does it in a way that is unique to Sega. It will debut a week from today at IAAPA 2019: https://arcadeheroes.com/2019/11/12/sega-amusement-to-debut-mission-impossible-arcade-at-iaapa-2019/
  7. I can't recall exactly, but I think it had improved versions of those games that had been created just for the device like Yar's Return and Asteroids Deluxe.
  8. "Hey everyone, check out this amazing pallet of Flashback 2+'s that we found collecting dust in a warehouse in the south of France! Now designed to mine the Atari Token. ATARI IS BACK, BABY!"
  9. Or they'll give them the Weird Al version. Just rename it as "I lost on IGG...baby" (the line about making yourself bringing shame onto your family for generations to come definitely applies to the Wanker Bros.)
  11. Summing up the whole Atari strategy so far (for anyone lost in the hundreds of pages of tacos): 1. Crowdfund an unconsole with a Fuji logo on it 2. ????????????? 3. Profit! In regards to the next update that they are working tirelessly on (haha, sure), let's be extraordinarily generous and say that the update does provide exactly what the VCShills have been hoping for: a shipping date in December, and an SDK for devs. Granted, the latter is something that should have been handed out last year, but it's ok, it's an unconsole! Revolutionary! Synergy! Best case scenario I can still see here is: They receive their Atari Vault players from Santa. Many things don't work or are unstable, particularly Steam, since the Shills made it clear that they were willing to become the beta tester guinea pigs for this thing, Atari wanted to spend as little as possible to get something working, so it turns on, but is a mess. As such, it crashes frequently, some of them have the VCS version of the "Red Ring of Death" and get to experience the joys of trying to return their system for a working model. Many backers are "shocked" that the 32GB of on-system storage won't allow for much else to fit on the system after they install the 20GB of Borderlands 2 on there. Some external hard drives don't work, as again, no one thought to test it out, and your every day VCS backer doesn't have a clue as to how to configure things in Linux. Antstream launches on the platform, but the steaming issues that the PC version has are compounded by a ton of background overhead on the VCS being dedicated to mining digital currency. No one from the AAA, AA or A-grade game development business becomes interested in having their reputations damaged by being attached to the VCS, so Atari glosses over the issues by touting emulators and Antstream, despite numerous issues that people have in getting anything to work right. Atari rushes some of their recent catalog of flops (Star Raiders 2013, Yar's Revenge 2011, Haunted House: Cryptic Graves) to say they've got something, but then it just highlights at how terrible Atari's recent output has been. All that gets swept under the rug by the Shills as "we knew we'd be helping create something revolutionary! I love POOOOONG!" But the problems are so numerous, that "more time is needed" to hash things out, so the general release gets pushed back indefinitely. The VCS becomes a footnote in WTF gaming history and the next half-baked scam from Atari comes along to further milk nostalgia from a rusty nail. Am I missing anything?
  12. Things are swimming along so well in VCS manufacturing land that Atari is reposting the month-old "All is well!" Medium post.
  13. "Please don't say a Nintendo or Sega game, please don't say a Nintendo or Sega game, please..." *And it's supposed to be "There's" https://twitter.com/atari/status/1190346595381972992
  14. Another Christmas season, yet another iteration Atari Flashback. I guess Atari could always just send FBX's to backers and claim that's the revolutionary unconsole http://8-bitcentral.com/blog/2019/atariFlashbackX.html
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