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joeatari1

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Status Updates posted by joeatari1

  1. joeatari1

    If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  2. joeatari1

    If the police arrest a mime, do they still tell him that he has the right to remain silent?

    1. Frozone212

      Frozone212

      I don't know but an interrogation would be useless

    2. frankodragon

      frankodragon

      Doesn't the officer need to use his invisible baton to break the mime out of his invisible box first? 

    3. Frozone212

      Frozone212

      Officer: (Brandishes invisible baton)

      Mime: (gets cuffed)

      Officer: (mimes miranda rights)

  3. joeatari1

    I went to the book store and asked the saleswoman "Where is the self help section?".  She said that if she told me, that would defeat the purpose.

    1. thanatos

      thanatos

      Boo, but I'll give it a like.

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      I liked it :)

       

       

      I may have felt like I knew where it was going, but that's OK...

       

       

  4. joeatari1

    Last chance, it goes to recycling tomorrow morning.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      So you're claiming this and picking it up?

    3. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      Recycled!

    4. Frozone212

      Frozone212

      WE HATES YOU FOREVER!

  5. joeatari1

    Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

    1. Stephen

      Stephen

      Hopefully not if the adultery led to infancy!

    2. thanatos

      thanatos

      The answer is simple:  Who has the memories of it!

  6. joeatari1

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked??

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. bluejay

      bluejay

      @Rogerpoco so if you find another turtle while mowing your lawn, are you gonna name her Geo?

    3. Rogerpoco

      Rogerpoco

      Haha-close, @bluejay  -

      I was actually a moderator for NEO-Flash at the time, so the name DID come from gaming, but not SNK!

      :D

      So I'd have to name it Flash!

    4. Hydro Thunder

      Hydro Thunder

      He's naked and Fearless.  And his Fear is NAKED

       

  7. joeatari1

    Last call for FREE CRT TV!  Please visit my give away thread HERE.

     

  8. joeatari1

    My advice for the day:  Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

    1. amiman99

      amiman99

      My favorite George Carlin quote. Always tell it to my kids.

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      You can prick your finger, but don't finger...

  9. joeatari1

    If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest drown too?

    1. Machine

      Machine

      Only if they want a good score

  10. joeatari1

    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is this considered a hostage situation?

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      I would assume so, it is against the law to kill yourself, it is considered murder.

    2. The Usotsuki

      The Usotsuki

      And a failed suicide is, legally, attempted murder.

    3. bluejay

      bluejay

      @CPUWIZwhat are they gonna do, give you a death sentence?

  11. joeatari1

    Is there another word for synonym?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Cebus Capucinis

      Cebus Capucinis

      Metonym.

       

      Thanks, Thesaurus.com....and Thanks, Geritol!

    3. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      I have never seen a Thesaurus.  But I did see a Tyrannosaurus and a Brontosaurus in a museum once.  Perhaps next time I go they will have a Thesaurus.

    4. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      *wheels in a the Thesaurus book on a podium display into the museum*

  12. joeatari1

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

  13. joeatari1

    Pffft.

    1. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      HHHhhmmmmphphphffft!

  14. joeatari1

    "I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon"

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      No, but "When my friends need code, who do they call?  I do HTML for them all!"

    3. ClassicGMR

      ClassicGMR

      Kirk. No question.

    4. thanatos

      thanatos

      Even got a home page for my dog.

  15. joeatari1

    Happy 6/9 dudes (and dudettes)!

    1. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      I always forget, is 6 the dude or 9?

    2. carlsson

      carlsson

      I've played a lot of music in 6/8 but never 6/9.

  16. joeatari1

    Sirloin.  The only steak good enough to be called Sir.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. ClassicGMR

      ClassicGMR

      Lou Rawls recommends tenderloin though...

    3. joeatari1

      joeatari1

      No. But I have driven a Scirocco.

    4. frankodragon

      frankodragon

      WTO5KR.gif

  17. joeatari1

    If Mozart and Cinderella had a love child, would it be called Mozzarella?

    1. Allan

      Allan

      That is a pretty cheesy joke!

    2. Charlie Cat

      Charlie Cat

      BWAHAHAHAHA. Now this made my day bro. I was belly laughing on the floor. :rolling::rolling::rolling:

    3. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      You're a whiz at these jokes Joe,  A real Cheez Whiz!   Haaa...No, seriously though,  I thought it was pretty gouda!

  18. joeatari1

    OU812?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. CPUWIZ

      CPUWIZ

      UB40IAM20

    3. Swami

      Swami

      @joeatari1 https://www.amazon.com/Your-Filthy-Little-Mouth-David/dp/B000008K9N

       

    4. retrorussell

      retrorussell

      I8URMOM

  19. joeatari1

    It's, It's a ballroom blitz!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. x=usr(1536)

      x=usr(1536)

      And the man in the back said everyone attack, and it turned into a ballroom blitz!

    3. zylon

      zylon

      and the girl in the corner said "Boy, I want to warn you. It'll turn into a ballroom blitz"

    4. frankodragon

      frankodragon

      How about a Bathroom Blitz? Only one stall.

  20. joeatari1

    Where do boats go when they're sick?

     

    To the doc!

    1. Charlie Cat

      Charlie Cat

      Pin on humor cartoons

  21. joeatari1

    Free Sanyo 20" CRT TV in my give away thread.  Works perfect.  Pick up only!  It goes in the dumpster in two weeks.

  22. joeatari1

    Avoid the Noid!

  23. joeatari1

    Don't come over here

    Piss on my gate

    Save it just keep it off my wave

  24. joeatari1

    Yeah, of course I've played Centipede.  But I've never heard of Human Centipede.  How do you play that?

    1. doctorclu

      doctorclu

      Well you take the DVD, put directly over the trash bin, and drop into bin.

       

      Pretty easy.

    2. GoldLeader

      GoldLeader

      Bend over,  doctorclu'll show you!

  25. joeatari1

    When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather, peacefully in my sleep.  Not screaming and freaking out like the other people in the car he was driving.

    1. thanatos

      thanatos

      First time I heard that one I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!

    2. Atarian7

      Atarian7

      I heard that one a long time ago too, but it is still funny.

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