[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

TACOS AS FAR AS THE EYES CAN SEE !

 

ENDLESS TACOS !

 

"Air ?" perfect for the "Air" console...

 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

THQ ?

LJN ?

We going down (bleep) memory lane here ?

Only the worst (bleep) games money can buy

So we're putting the VCS / Atari in the same category ?

Once again... ( the new jingle for folks who've paid attention )

Has Atari Played You Today...       

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

No the ATARI jingle is....

 

Has ATARI played you today....

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

ATARI....

The Final Forntier, these are the voyages of the VCS

It's 5 year mission... To exploit the backers...

To seek out new ventures & new scams...

To boldly make money out of nothing at all...

 

~ aaaaahhhh oooooooo aaaaahhhh ooooooo ~

(etc, etc, etc) 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

PICS !

 

Or it's all fake...

 

Welcome to the internet...

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

The Recap - The Side Quest

______________________

Grandpa - Mr. Atari, about the VCS

Atari - You stole our thunder, we had to redesign it, we have to clean the room, you get NOTHING, you loose, Good day sir

Grandpa - But.. But..

Atari - I said, Good day sir

Grandpa - Come on Charlie we'll go get an Amico instead

 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

I was thinking of adding the whole 500 units thing but my recap is getting a bit long isn't it ?

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

3 LONG YEARS... the recap mark 2020

___________________________________________

A long, long time ago... On a website far, far away...

Atari - Guess what, we're gonna make a console...

Internet - Yea... Right...

Atari - Don't doubt us, we're really gonna do it...

Internet - Tell us another tall tale...

Atari - All you got to do is... GIVE US YOUR MONEY !

Internet - We knew there was a catch to this...

Atari - We'll call it "Ataribox"

Internet - What a stupid name, people will get it mixed up with the Xbox...

Atari - Okay we changed our minds, we'll call it the Atari VCS...

Internet - Great, now folks will get it mixed up with the 2600 as it is also known as the VCS...

Atari - We're going with Indiegogo...

Indiegogo - You don't have to have a working anything to use our services, come right in Atari...

Atari - Not to worry Internet we'll keep you up to date on what we're doing...

~ Time Passes ~

Internet - This has to be a scam, there hasn't been any updates for months...

VCS fans - You all are just haters, give them time...

~ More Time Passes ~

Atari - We're making an announcement that there will be an announcement soon (tm)

VCS fans - see we told you so...

~ Yet even more time passes ~

Atari - We promise we'll have something to show soon (tm)

~ Sometime later ~

[ Insert video of someone playing Tempest 4000 here ]

VCS fans - ooooooooo, aaaaahhhhh, woooooow

Tempest 4000 programmers - That video is a fake as no one here is working on a port for the Atari VCS...  

VCS fans - ....

Atari - Uhm... Look... it says demo only right there on the video...

~ Things go quiet for awhile ~

Atari - We'll have something to show this 'Summer'

~ Summer Passes ~

Internet  - Well ?

~ Fall Starts ~

Atari - We got something to show now...

[ Shows off 'the board' ]

VCS fans - see you were worried over nothing...

Internet - That's nice, where is the RAM ?

[ News leaks about the main guy working on the innards gets out ]

Internet - Oh this just keeps getting better...

Atari - Watch this...

[ Video / Gif of the logo going on & off on the Unit ]

VCS fans - see it works...

Me - a $400.00 light switch, I'm not impressed...

~ Time Marches On ~

> ENTER THE WOZ ! <

Internet - Oh this ought to be good...

[ Lots of photos uploaded but no video of the actual event ]

Internet - This seems to be a non-event as there's not much news attached to this, gee that don't seem weird to you does it ?

Me - Oh look at all that nice white space over WOZ & Fred, time for MEMEs

~ Several Memes Later ~

Atari - Another Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About Something Or Other

Internet - This is getting redonkulous...

Me - Loading... Still Loading... Still Still Loading... Etc... Etc... Ect...

Atari - We're delaying it AGAIN...

Internet - Why are we not shocked by this...

Atari - Truth is we never wanted to make a console...

Internet - Oh ?

Atari - We want to be... A Lumberjack...

~ MORE MEMES LATER STILL ~ 

NASA - Look we're back in space !

Internet - oooooooooooooooooooo

USA - Time to protest like it's the late 1960's

Me - Wait a second, what year is this again ?

SONY - LOOK AT THIS - reveals the brand spankin' new PS5 

Internet -ooooooooooooooooooooo

Atari - Another Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About Something Or Other

Internet - Lets take a wild guess, another delay...

Atari - How'd you guys know ?

Internet - Because your that predicable after 3 years of this

Me - The light still goes on & off eh ?

________________________________________________

Happy 3rd Birthday To The Taco Thread !

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

How about calling it the Anti-Console ?

 

(c) 2020 Pack Productions

 

All rights reserved, all lefts as well, but not the middle you can have that for free

 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

A 'jib' ?

 

I think it's the same thing as a henwai...

 

( Wait for it )

 

( Wait )

 

( Keep waiting )

 

( Any century now )

 

( Please fill out the v-card that came with our e-mail while you wait for the VCS to get released )

 

( Re-re-re-retictulating Splines )

 

( Operators are standing by )

 

( Hi I'm Julie, I'm your operator, I'm only standing 'cause these cheap [ BLEEP ] didn't give me a chair to sit in )

 

( Let's watch the progress bar some more )

 

( Fun fact - Progress bars are the work of a lesser devil from the fire pits )

 

( Julie again - If you call in the next 346512 nano seconds you'll recieve absoluetly free a gen-u-whine alalalalalauuuuuuminimimimininimin... tin foil can opener ) 

 

( Offer void everywhere... but the middle on nowhere )

 

( RETURN THE SLAB ! OR SUFFER MY CURSE ! )

 

( Okay now that, That's out of the way )

 

What's a henwai ?

 

Oh about 5 pounds... 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

On 4/14/2020 at 7:18 PM, MrBeefy said:

Well I think we are now here...(blue arrow). Nice to know we are in the latter part of 2018....

No no no, the blue arrow is where folks WISH the time line was right now.... We're STILL on the red one...  didn't you get the memo ?

 

I missed page 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 one one one one...

 

Wait, no that's not 1111 in Binary... Well, you get the idea...

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

~ comes from out of the shadows ~

 

So in about 20 days from now....

 

Wait ? What ?

 

ANOTHER DELAY ?!?!?

 

Why am I NOT surprised by this outcome ?

 

Well time to pull out this old chestnut AGAIN...

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

White space again ?

 

You think they'd know by now NOT to make it so easy for us...

 

 

 

P.S. That or it's BREAKOUT 2 : ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

Last time on our award loosing program...

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

The ball has dropped in New York !

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

Cheesenuts ?

 

You mean dis guy ?

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

Because Reasons (tm)

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

Wet T-shirt contest ?

 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

1 minute ago, Nathan Strum said:

Fixed that for you.  

No, that's just the Reader's Digest 'condensed'  version you posted, there's also a LONGER un-cut version that is set to music that's 18 mins +

 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

OH, by the way ONLY 1,599 pages 'till we hit 2600

 

Granted if they keep delaying this thing...

 

We'll make it in no time, eh ?

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

THE 1000 + PAGE RECAP

================

A long, long time ago... On a website far, far away...

Atari - Guess what, we're gonna make a console...

Internet - Yea... Right...

Atari - Don't doubt us, we're really gonna do it...

Internet - Tell us another tall tale...

Atari - All you got to do is... GIVE US YOUR MONEY !

Internet - We knew there was a catch to this...

Atari - We'll call it "Ataribox"

Internet - What a stupid name, people will get it mixed up with the Xbox...

Atari - Okay we changed our minds, we'll call it the Atari VCS...

Internet - Great, now folks will get it mixed up with the 2600 as it is also known as the VCS...

Atari - We're going with Indiegogo...

Indiegogo - You don't have to have a working anything to use our services, come right in Atari...

Atari - Not to worry Internet we'll keep you up to date on what we're doing...

~ Time Passes ~

Internet - This has to be a scam, there hasn't been any updates for months...

VCS fans - You all are just haters, give them time...

~ More Time Passes ~

Atari - We're making an announcement that there will be an announcement soon (tm)

VCS fans - see we told you so...

~ Yet even more time passes ~

Atari - We promise we'll have something to show soon (tm)

~ Sometime later ~

[ Insert video of someone playing Tempest 4000 here ]

VCS fans - ooooooooo, aaaaahhhhh, woooooow

Tempest 4000 programmers - That video is a fake as no one here is working on a port for the Atari VCS...  

VCS fans - ....

Atari - Uhm... Look... it says demo only right there on the video...

~ Things go quiet for awhile ~

Atari - We'll have something to show this 'Summer'

~ Summer Passes ~

Internet  - Well ?

~ Fall Starts ~

Atari - We got something to show now...

[ Shows off 'the board' ]

VCS fans - see you were worried over nothing...

Internet - That's nice, where is the RAM ?

[ News leaks about the main guy working on the innards gets out ]

Internet - Oh this just keeps getting better...

Atari - Watch this...

[ Video / Gif of the logo going on & off on the Unit ]

VCS fans - see it works...

Me - a $400.00 light switch, I'm not impressed...

~ Time Marches On ~

> ENTER THE WOZ ! <

Internet - Oh this ought to be good...

[ Lots of photos uploaded but no video of the actual event ]

Internet - This seems to be a non-event as there's not much news attached to this, gee that don't seem weird to you does it ?

Me - Oh look at all that nice white space over WOZ & Fred, time for MEMEs

~ Several Memes Later ~

Atari - Another Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About An Announcement About Something Or Other

Internet - This is getting redonkulous...

Me - Loading... Still Loading... Still Still Loading... Etc... Etc... Ect...

Atari - We're delaying it AGAIN...

Internet - Why are we not shocked by this...

> 2019 Ends in a few days ! <

[ There we go, up to date now, yes ? ]

Sorry it took so long, but I wanted to reformat the old post so you wouldn't have to scroll as much to read it all in one sitting

 

> MEANWHILE <

 

 

P.S. Yes this was a LONG way to go just so I could do a MAXIS reference

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

About page 1000

 

Yet another recap of the story so far

 

Plus new info

 

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

Did someone mention a funnel ?

 

Again for those who missed it... Money goes in top... Nothing comes out of the bottom...

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

 

This Man...

 

 

Would not get this joke...

 

[New Atari Console that Ataribox?]

In other news...

 

How long must this dry spell last ?