What it doesn't know: Will it be a girl or a boy?

[root42]

Here's a wonderful ad from a German popular science magazin in 1982, advertising the Atari 400 and 800. Too lazy to translate the text manually, but you can probably translate it via some smartphone app with OCR.

 

I love the photo on the left. How weird the guy is looking at the camera, the wife looking thoughtfully at him, and the cheesy furniture. The ad concentrates on educational aspects, but does mention Pac Man, which probably was a big selling point at the time.

[Rybags]

Caption should read:

 

He'll be getting no sex again until that kid is in school, and by the time he has enough "me time" sufficient to use that computer it'll have been pushed to the back of the scrapheap with all the other proprietary systems thanks to the attack of the clones followed by it's sequel known as Windows.

[R0ger]

Well, the computer will be obsolete when the kid can read .. ? Only idiot would use computer like that after 80s. Oh wait ..

[Mclaneinc]

The blokes thinking, "is it mine or the RS232 interfaces child"

[Gunstar]

By the time that kid could read, he was already using an ST or Amiga. Maybe the kid used the 800...

[Flojomojo]

That's a charming ad, a refreshing new take on the old "get off the computer and come to bed with me" trope. 

[Mclaneinc]

40 minutes ago, Flojomojo said:

a refreshing new take on the old "get off the computer and come to bed with me" trope. 

Look, I told you 10 mins ago that I'll finish the game and I have now so I'm shutting it down and on my way.....Stop nagging.....

 

 

[+CharlieChaplin]

5 hours ago, Flojomojo said:

That's a charming ad, a refreshing new take on the old "get off the computer and come to bed with me" trope. 

 

It's more like: "You played Atari 'All Day And All Of The Night' and did not come to bed with me, so someone else did - see what happened..."  (It is a clear warning from Atari Inc. not to play too much Atari and leave your wife/girl alone for too long.)

 

 

[+davidcalgary29]

8 hours ago, root42 said:

and the cheesy furniture.

Who didn't grow up in a house like that, with beige carpeting everywhere and a kitchen that had a hanging light covered by a tacky wicker lampshade? We've all been in that room before...*shudder* (insert random clicking noises from a certain TNG episode)

 

Also: calling a baby "it" makes me thing of an Alien chestburster, and not a future member of the A/V club. Although that would have made a much more interesting ad...

[Lord Thag]

49 minutes ago, davidcalgary29 said:

Who didn't grow up in a house like that, with beige carpeting everywhere and a kitchen that had a hanging light covered by a tacky wicker lampshade? We've all been in that room before...*shudder* (insert random clicking noises from a certain TNG episode)

 

Also: calling a baby "it" makes me thing of an Alien chestburster, and not a future member of the A/V club. Although that would have made a much more interesting ad...

Totally. I swear that was taken in my parents living room circa 1983. All that's missing is the yellow rotary phone with 20 foot cord, and the coffee table with giant b/w picture photo books that no human ever actually read.

 

[jhd]

1 hour ago, davidcalgary29 said:

Also: calling a baby "it" makes me thing of an Alien chestburster, and not a future member of the A/V club. Although that would have made a much more interesting ad...

 

My understanding is that in addition to the usual masculine/feminine/neuter genders, German expressly provides pronouns for "undetermined gender" for cases such as unborn babies. Sadly, English lacks this fourth option, so translators must make do. 

[+davidcalgary29]

Well yes, of course, but lurid images of monster babies in movies like It's Alive and It Lives Again spring forth with such neutering. Hee!

[+slx]

Here's a rough translation (translator's notes in parentheses - I tried to capture the spirit, so it's not entirely literal). I really wonder whether any pregnant woman would enjoy running around the house with shoes like this, even with socks perfectly matching the dress.... I'd also love to know if the picture was provided by Atari USA or shot in Germany. 

 

Other than that your Atari won't be shy to answer any question. It will be able to work out whether there will be money for a motorcycle for Peter's 16th birthday or a designer dress for Annabelle's prom. Because this little miracle machine that uses only a little space, looks like a typewriter but is much easier to use, resembles an iceberg: its best part lies beneath the surface. You only need to discover it.

 

You may assume that Atari understands his language. It's evident that you may tax his patience. That he won't let any mistakes slip through makes it one of the best teachers you could imagine. And yet he will not pass out any grades. 

 

That doesn't mean it can't handle numbers (we use 1-5/6 grades in school, not A-F). And how it does! If you want to know how much you have save every month to pay for college: ask the Atari. If you want to predict your highs and lows, the Atari will calculate your biorhythm exactly. Because that's his forte: it's capable of (almost) everything. Whether your son finally understands Pythagoras' theorem or it helps your niece knows the ABC in pre-school (and don't want to start talking about the many ways you can play with it besides Pac-Man). 

 

Should your son or daughter become an overseas correspondent instead of an accountant one day, don't be cross with the Atari. What people set out to do with it is entirely up to them. Not up to the Atari.

 

---

The Atari is available in two versions. As Atari 400 for a budget start with

- pressure sensitive keypad (you could probably translate that as keyboard as well, but it's not the word used for a keyboard in German)

- fixed memory capacity of 16K RAM

- connections for Atari peripherals

 

And as Atari 800 for professional use with

- typewriter keyboard

- expandable memory capacity up to 48K RAM

- direct video-audio output

 

It goes without saying that there is a multitude of programs that is ever expanding.

 

I request information

O about the Atari private Computer (note: not personal computer)

O about the newest programs

O about dealers' addresses

 

address lines

 

O I already have an Atari

 

O I don't have an Atari yet

 

subtitle:

WITH AN ATARI YOU'LL DEVELOP (ENTIRELY) NEW TALENTS

 

BTW, we had blue carpets and some seriously 70's furniture, my parents didn't remodel that often. My bedroom/computer room was done in the 80's and I insisted for it to be decorated with real cork wallpaper....still looking for a picture for the Atari setup thread. 

 

[+davidcalgary29]

Ooh, thanks! Still, this picture is a must for one of those "caption this!" contests.