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Season 9 ~ Week 17 ~ Star Wars: ROTJ Death Star Battle

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15 hours ago, classicgamer_27330 said:

Bonus question

 

What if we hate Star Wars?

Then ask a friend/spouse/neighbor/random geek for their favorite and run with it.

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Character: Camie Loneozner

Game: Star Wars DDR: The Revenge of Camie.

 

Things are tough on Tatooine, and they're no better if you're married to a layabout like Laze Loneozner, whose only goal in life is to hang out with his go-nowhere friends at Toshi Station. Sometimes a girl's gotta take matters into her own hands, and in this case it involves dancing: from the Mos Eisley Cantina to the Pod Racing Arena lounge to her final goal: becoming one of the regular dancers at Jabba's Palace. The palace is fraught with danger but if you please mighty Jabba you will have a steady, well-paying gig. If not, it's death by Rancor for you. 

koo-stark.jpg

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The plot of this game is very interesting: Han Solo in his Millennium Falcon shoots some Tie Fighters and then blows this half built but fully operational battle station to pieces! Grand finale! Off to the big party with the Ewoks on Endor! ... 'Huh!? Wait! What was that, Chewie!?' The Evil Empire's ultimate weapon pops back up in the sky half built and deadly as it was! You can almost hear Chewbacca grunting and growling whilst Han heads back to shoot it out of the sky again. And this all whilst the Dark Lord cruises by ever so smoothly in his Imperial Shuttle grinning and knowing 'Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen'!

Score improvement: 20444

IMG_20191209_203659[1].jpg

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Star Wars: ROTJ Death Star Battle: 710

 

496004997_15aStarWars-DeathStarBattle710.thumb.png.0e29f7a0ff468592c66d6c4b5b26d3d8.png

The force is weak with this one.

 

My favorite Star Wars character is called "George Lucas".

 

If he had an Atari 2600 game it would be called "Galactic Gasbag".

 

In the game, the player uses the keyboard controller to write a number of hackneyed screenplays, make a series of increasingly puzzling creative decisions, and inappropriately name-drop Joseph Campbell as often as possible, all while trying to avoid an agitated David Prowse on the sci-fi convention circuit. The game ends anytime an Ewok does comething "cute", a Jar-Jar does something "offensively racist" or whenever the angry Force-ghost of Annikin Skywalker bursts open your bloated neck pouch with the accumulated weight of your own pomposity.

 

756973731_15bGalacticGasbag.thumb.png.0cf85b72a17e5168b37a787b09ded894.png

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Star Wars: Death Star Battle - 51,525

942928429_SWDeathStarBattleEMU-Game1BB-51525.thumb.jpg.7563ef12ff0cd5c950c61807a9a7c917.jpg

 

 

My favorite character (who, in my humble opinion, got way less screen time than they deserved ... just sayin'.)

Character: dianoga

image.png.2b465471afcf8e56718fbc9faffeea1d.png

Name of the Game: "Dianoga's Feast"

Gameplay: It's a cross between Pac-man and the 1992 arcade game "Time Killers". In the Dark Lord's quest to rid the universe of the scum called "Jedi", he has gathered many of them and routinely throws them in the trash bin where your character lives. When the tasty Jedi fall into the trash, your objective is two-fold: rip their arms and heads off and then eat them without getting hit with a lightsaber by what is supposed to be your meal. Now, you can certainly eat them whole, however, while they slide down your dianoga's throat in one whole piece, your dianoga is temporarily stunned and that leaves your dianoga vulnerable to new, fresh Jedi dropping into the the bin. The process of swallowing Jedi is much more rapid by ripping their arms and heads off first, and THEN eating the 4 pieces separately. Due to the higher risk of eating Jedi whole, you get triple the points for each one eaten in such brave and bold fashion. Every 8th level, you reach the Boss, "Schmathleen Kennedy". Although your primary goal is still to rip the arms and head off of the boss, DO NOT eat the head because it is worthless and full of poison, and if you do, your score is reduced to zero and you then become forced to watch Episode VIII on repeat for 24 hours. Should you defeat this mad monster boss, you save the universe *and* the Star Wars franchise. After defeating the boss, you cycle back to stage 1. Each cycle becomes faster and requires quicker reflexes.

 

 

 

 

Edited by ZilchSr
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Why is it so hard to maneuver the Millennium Falcon?   

 

 

Edited by Atarian7
spelling error

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46 minutes ago, Atarian7 said:

Why is it so hard to maneuver the Millennium Falcon?   

 

 

Yep, it would probably work better for me to have the Asteroids controls or better yet a two button driving controller with one button for thrust and the other for fire.

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2 hours ago, Atarian7 said:

Why is it so hard to maneuver the Millennium Falcon?   

Because the game would be way too easy otherwise.

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I have a question about this unfathomably awful game. When I hit the red target on the Death Star, I noticed that the points keep increasing until the fireballs inevitably kill me. Then the DS properly explodes. Does that ever stop on its own or do you literally have to die at the end of the level?

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On 12/10/2019 at 3:25 PM, Abel M'Vada said:

Star Wars: ROTJ Death Star Battle: 710

 

496004997_15aStarWars-DeathStarBattle710.thumb.png.0e29f7a0ff468592c66d6c4b5b26d3d8.png

The force is weak with this one.

 

My favorite Star Wars character is called "George Lucas".

 

If he had an Atari 2600 game it would be called "Galactic Gasbag".

 

In the game, the player uses the keyboard controller to write a number of hackneyed screenplays, make a series of increasingly puzzling creative decisions, and inappropriately name-drop Joseph Campbell as often as possible, all while trying to avoid an agitated David Prowse on the sci-fi convention circuit. The game ends anytime an Ewok does comething "cute", a Jar-Jar does something "offensively racist" or whenever the angry Force-ghost of Annikin Skywalker bursts open your bloated neck pouch with the accumulated weight of your own pomposity.

 

756973731_15bGalacticGasbag.thumb.png.0cf85b72a17e5168b37a787b09ded894.png

I think of GL as a Jabba-like figure hoarding the thing (the original, unadulterated 1977 Star Wars) that made him rich beyond avarice. To the very point, in fact, that never releasing it again was probably a condition of selling the property to Disney (they have said, in fact, that they would never release it "out of respect for George"😒). 

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19 minutes ago, AtariWarlord said:

I have a question about this unfathomably awful game. When I hit the red target on the Death Star, I noticed that the points keep increasing until the fireballs inevitably kill me. Then the DS properly explodes. Does that ever stop on its own or do you literally have to die at the end of the level?

Every time you hit a piece of the Death Star, you accumulate a "bonus amount". After you either hit the red dot *or* you destroy the last piece of the Death Star, you enter the "bonus opportunity round" (not a guarantee, but an opportunity) where you keep accumulating bonus points until you either reach the "bonus amount" that you accumulated *or* you die, whichever comes first. If you stay alive long enough to collect the entire bonus amount, the Death Star explodes and you simply move on to the next stage without losing a life. The more pieces of the Death Star you destroy, the longer you must stay alive to collect all the bonus points, because there are more of them to collect. Hope this helps ;-)

Edited by ZilchSr
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My favorite SW character:  DARK HELMET

rick-moranis-spaceballs-dark-helmet.jpg

 

My game would be called "DARK SCHWARTZ Lone Star Battle"

Or, in full uncensored version: "DARK SCHWARTZ Return of the A**holes: Lone Star Battle"

(the cartridge label inadvertantly released bearing the prototype title instead)

 

ARCADE-STYLE ACTION!

 

Guide Dark Helmet in an effort to capture the hand of Princess Vespa and defeat Lone Star!

Gather good guy action figures to bolster your score!  Pick up mog-biscuits until Barf comes out.  Don't get bit as you BOP him earning letters to spell G-U-A-R-A-N-T-E-E, which fools Vespa into your grasp!  Now you can bait LONE STAR into an epic schwartz battle to defeat your nemesis!  Advance to the next level... or else plummet to the planet of apes! 

 

It's all in for the girl and the glory!!

DARK HELMET - Lone Star Battle.png

hqdefault.jpg

safarihelmet.png

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